[name_f]Nettie[/name_f] is now a year old and she has been exclusively on breast milk the entire time along with food once she reached the 6 month mark. However, I always said that I would stop breastfeeding after a year but now that the time is here I feel depressed at the thought.
I found it fairly hard to pump breast milk so that my husband could feed her in the earlier months because it always felt like my special thing with her but once she started eating solids my husband normally took over that part when he was home so I could feed her directly from the breast again and it’s become my special time with her again. Since she started solids she hasn’t needed breast milk as much and it went down from like ten times a day to half once she was really into proper food. She suddenly stopped wanting breast milk as much and wanted a banana or grapes or something instead to tide her over till meal times.
She is now only having a feed first thing in the morning before her porridge and before she goes to sleep because that has always been the routine, I would feed her and read a book to her. She sometimes has one through the day if she isn’t doing so good, to calm her down or if she was feeling a bit sick.
It’s very bittersweet because I am so excited for her to try foods and start to become a proper little human but I feel that ending breastfeeding is like losing her. It almost feels selfish for the feel this way and sometimes when she has fallen to sleep before her nighttime feed I end up crying and feeling really put out about losing that time with her which is silly because I spend all day with her!
I always thought that I would have some control over the weaning so we could do it at my pace but she is practically weaning herself and she woke up an hour ago (5.30AM in [name_f]England[/name_f] right now, yay!) and I tried to give her a feed but she was very persistent and kept say “Porry” (her way of saying porridge) and she cried until we went downstairs and I put her in her high seat and started making the blasted porridge. I will admit that I started sobbing over the banana I was cutting up to put in it.
I feel really selfish for thinking this way and acting like it and [name_m]Simon[/name_m] just doesn’t quite get the attachment I have to breastfeeding, I tried to explain that it would be like me taking bath time away from him (he almost always bathes her) but it still didn’t grasp it.
I just need some mummy support and I want to know that I am not crazy. Or maybe I am…
Anyhoo, must go because [name_f]Nettie[/name_f] is eyeing the sleeping dog up…
Oh, that’s really hard. It’s such a special connection, especially when you’ve made it so far with the breastfeeding. I didn’t have the same experience, I was the one that chose to stop (at 18 months, I reckon [name_f]Bethany[/name_f] would still be feeding now if I didn’t :D) but in saying that, I did miss it and occasionally wished I had left it up to her to wean. It won’t be long until the not breastfeeding becomes your new normal and you’re totally not crazy!
My little girl is 13 months old now and I’m not ready for her to be done, and neither is she. We are down to nap feeds and bedtime feeds, but when I go back to work next month it will only be at bedtime. I haven’t decided when I’ll be done, I just know it’s not yet. She’s not ready. She still needs it for comfort. And I know as more time goes on its only going to get harder, but so be it. I just can’t stop yet. Now I know why my mom breast fed me until I was 2 1/2.
I can imagine that most moms, particularly if you enjoy breastfeeding, will feel a lot of sadness and mourning as it winds down, especially sooner than expected.
My DD refused to latch starting about 3 months. I could only latch her if she was sleepy, for night feeds and right after naps. I tried so hard, but at 5 months she stopped all together. I also couldn’t pump more than 1-2 oz in a day for her (pumping 6x per day) so I stopped. I was very disappointed.
I’m hoping that it goes better with my 2nd, and I think it will. But there is a possibility I will need to go on medication before I want to stop BFing, or that work may interfere. I know if it doesn’t work out I will be very disappointed and sad.
I’m sure if we go as long as we can, I’ll still be sad when she self weans. My DD weaned off the bottle by herself at 15 months, and I was quite sad about that, which is much less hormonal, physical, and [name_f]IMO[/name_f], bonding than BF.
A bit like how I thought it was sooooo tough to drop her off at daycare when she cried every morning the first 30 days, but then one day she just said “bye bye mommy” and I burst into tears. It’s hard to have them grow up!!
Oh, it can be so hard if you’re not done! The hormone drop off can really mess you up too, not surprising to be a bit sad and weepy. My now 15 month old had a nursing strike at 8 months and the hormones from the brief stopping were awful, I was so sad.
Sometimes you can be done with bf together and sometimes it is slightly out of synch but to make it to a year is awesome. You will find your new normal in no time and I’m sure it will all feel ok soon, but I know, it is hard! It’s a huge milestone having them move that teeny bit further away from mama!
Hugs, mama. It kind of sounds like maybe you’re not done, and that’s okay (in terms of the year thing, it’s beneficial to keep going if both you and baby want to), but you feel like baby is? Lots of babies act this way right around this age, due to gaining some autonomy over things like mobility and food. However, very few kids actually fully self wean so early. Maybe you could just continue to offer morning and night, if you want to. She might surprise you and pick right back up with those feeds after a week or two. Or not - they really are all different! - but there’s certainly no harm in attempting if you think that’s something you might want.
And truly, the hormone drop off can cause strange feelings. My daughter never latched, so I pumped for 13 months and was DONE DONE DONE. Still, my hormones went crazy for at least a few weeks after I hung up the horns, and took another few to completely even out. It was so strange. My son is 17 months and still nursing a few times a day, but there are ups and downs. He’ll go few days with very minimal need, then want to nurse every time I sit down for a week. Toddlers are strange little beings!
I would keep offering it and she might surprise you with a suddenly becoming interested again at some point. I feel very similar and nursed my oldest until 19 months when I was pregnant again and my second until 20 months when I needed a mammogram done. I’m hoping to nurse my youngest until she’s ready, which I would like to be quite some time from now. I feel like breastfeeding is just such a special experience that you can’t replicate with other people’s children so I hope to continue as long as possible. I don’t think it’s selfish as long as the baby is willing.
My four year old officially stopped breastfeeding 6 months ago. Yes I know 3 and half is late but it was once a day and our very special time. She’s asked for it once or twice since we stopped officially and I usually give in. I’m kind of a sucker for the bonding time.
My 2 and a half year old only feeds about once or twice a day. He likes to feed when we first get to get to daycare. It’s our special time to be together with just us.
The one year old still feeds though as with all my kids their habits changed once I got pregnant. It was as though they could sense it. She feeds about 3 times a day. Once the baby is born she will go down to twice a day.
I am glad that I will have this baby to feed, I love that connection and while I can pump most times I choose not to pump so that I can have that special time with my kids.
My daughter choose to wean herself off breast milk, too, at about 14 months. It was really emotional for me, but I had to respect her decision and have found lots of other ways to bond with her. I remember sobbing when she was a day old about the fact that I never wanted her to change or grow up. But I guess we really don’t have a choice!
I remember being devastated when my boys weaned themselves. The first twin started refusing the breast at around 15 months and his brother stopped at 17 months. For both of them the last nursing session to go was the one before bed. In each case I offered it for a week after he refused it and after that I just tried to accept that he was done. The last time I nursed my ‘younger’ twin was [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] eve 2012 and I remember it being such a sad night for me because I knew that he was just done with it and I had to let that part of our connection go.
