I find heritage very important. [name_f]My[/name_f] children have such a mixed heritage, and I can’t raise them equally in all of it, but at the same time I feel and hope it enriches their lives.
I’m half Icelandic, 1/4 Polish and 1/4 Swedish. I raise my children to be bilingual. They speak the language of the country we live in now and Icelandic (well at least Hjörtur, my oldest, does, my youngest isn’t even 9 months old ). I only speak Icelandic with them at home though, so my son doesn’t speak it perfectly and makes some mistakes. But he has a very good idea of the language and I tell him all about Icelandic culture and traditions. He loves all the stories and legends.
[name_f]My[/name_f] ex-husband (the father of my oldest) is half Ugandese, and he tells Hjörtur about his culture too. I find it important that at least he knows something about it. But he doesn’t speak the language, my ex-husband doesn’t think it’s important.
[name_f]My[/name_f] SO has a Russian/Jewish mother and a father with Assyrian heritage, so that’s quite a mixture as well. We’ll probably tell our children about Jewish traditions and Assyrian culture when they get older, we’ll probably figure it out as we go along. But I think it’s important for them to realize that they are a mixture of different cultures and influences.
The only thing I worry about sometimes is that Hjörtur, my oldest, will feel like he stands out, since his mixed heritage is “visible”, being 1/4 Ugandese. He has slightly darker skin and dark curly hair. And maybe he won’t identify as much with his Ugandese heritage as he does with the country we live in now or his Icelandic heritage, but he will get judged by it more.
@hyacinthbucket Gosh, that really breaks my heart to think about… the sheer mass amount of people that were trafficked to [name_u]America[/name_u]. Given the political climate at the moment, it’s been interesting to see how much judgement has fallen on the US, regardless of similar problems in Australia. You’re right in saying that the scale of one verses the other is vast - so much so, I think most Australians forget that we’ve had our own issues and done poor things in our past as well. I’ve been listening a lot to Aboriginal and Maori people on their points of view in the last few weeks, and heavens, is it eye opening! [name_f]Every[/name_f] person from a colonisation background should have a deep and meaningful conversation with a first nations person - oh the things they’d learn!
@Kiriko I understand what you mean. I’m not one for blind pride and patriotism. I think the kind of knowledge and connection you’re speaking about is much more important.
@Rosebeth What a fascinating mix of cultures you have in your family! And I love how aware you are of all of them. Honestly, you’re son sounds like a beautiful child with that mix of genetics. I can see how “wearing” his heritage on the outside may make him feel different. I think he’s got the perfect mother to help him through it though (given you’re already aware of it and thinking about how to approach). Also, points to anyone that can speak Icelandic… it looks like such a jumble to me! Such a fascinating language!
Thanks, that’s so nice of you to say. Hjörtur seems to like his Ugandese roots at the moment. His dad, my ex-husband, is a musician who plays mostly African music. Hjörtur really loves it and wants to do African dance as a hobby. He’s only 5 years old, but his dad is starting a group for children from the age of 5 who want to learn African dance, basically just for him Well, so far there are nine other children who want to join, but Hjörtur gave him the idea. He also says he wants dreadlocks just like his dad, but I told him he has to wait a while for that So far he doesn’t seem to be aware of the fact that he looks a bit different than his little brother. In school he’s had a few remarks though, the city where we live is rather “white”. But it doesn’t seem to bother him at all.
I don’t know about Icelandic, it’s my first language so to me it looks completely normal People tell me it’s a difficult language to learn though. [name_f]My[/name_f] ex-husband tried once, but he didn’t get past “how are you?” and “could you tell me where the airport is?”. [name_f]My[/name_f] SO doesn’t speak it either, which isn’t easy since he usually doesn’t understand a word of what I’m saying to the children. I’ve noticed that I sometimes stop speaking Icelandic to them because of this.
@Rosebeth Oh that’s just precious! Learning traditional dance would be a great way for him to be connected to his father’s cultural traditions. I love that other children are interested in it too - what an exciting venture and opportunity! Oh I’m sure he’d look awesome in dreads haha! Very stylish
I’m thankful his being different to those around him isn’t effecting him negatively at the moment. I love the way children just see humans and not colours (or other differences) - I hope he holds onto that as long as he can.
Well, I’ve not tried to learn Icelandic, but it does look utterly complicated (but like you say, that’s only because I’m totally unfamiliar!) 🤷 At least your ex tried [name_f]Do[/name_f] you mean “stop” as in stop what you’re saying, or change languages so your partner knows what you’re saying?
@anon68906791 Cool! I’ve always been fascinated by the [name_m]German[/name_m] language, and thought it would be cool to learn. [name_u]Haven[/name_u]’t got around to it though.
[name_f]My[/name_f] new SO and Hjörtur get on very well, but his dad is his great hero. It’s the most wonderful thing, it always makes me happy to see them together. We couldn’t make each other happy as a couple, but I still love him as a close friend and he’s such a great father to Hjörtur. Anyway, that’s completely off topic
When I say I stop speaking Icelandic I mean I change languages so my SO can understand it too. It doesn’t bother Hjörtur because he can switch languages very easily, but it still bothers me a bit.
@Rosebeth It’s so sweet that he loves his dad so much, and great that you’ve been able to maintain a good relationship. That must make co-parenting much easier.
I’m sorry that it bothers you. I can see how it might be frustrating. Has your SO [name_f]Every[/name_f] tried to learn Icelandic?
[name_f]My[/name_f] SO has never tried to learn Icelandic, though he sometimes says he’d like to, because it’d make communicating with (one part of) my family a bit easier. Most Icelandic people speak [name_f]English[/name_f] because almost everyone learns it in school, so it’s not a huge problem. Learning foreign languages is something that’s greatly encouraged in Iceland, so a lot of Icelandic people speak another language besides Icelandic and [name_f]English[/name_f]. I’m sure my twin brother would love to teach my SO some Icelandic, so who knows
I’m Mexicana and Chiricahua Apache living in the U.S.; it’s infinitely important for my children to learn about our culture, especially considering the fact that they can’t be registered with my tribe. I’m the only person who can teach them.
@MirandaElizabeth Registered? [name_m]Aren[/name_m]’t you just biologically/ culturally part of a tribe? I didn’t realise there was a legal element. (I’m sorry if this is an odd or impersonal question, I’m Australian so I’m not familiar with US protocols.)
In the U.S. there’s something called blood quantum you have to meet to officially be a member of a tribe—it’s basically a percentage of your ancestry and it’s super racist but it’s the only way you get access to any of the benefits the U.S. government is supposed to be paying Natives in reparations (not that the benefits are good or that we even get them consistently). It’s complicated.
My great-great grandfather was Welsh and that’s quite an important part of my heritage (hence my name). Me and brothers all love [name_m]Wales[/name_m] and we holiday there almost every year, one year even staying at a converted mill where my ancestors used to work, so to me it’s very important that my children understand that part of our heritage. I love the idea of using a Welsh name like my parents decided for me since they likely won’t have the surname.
@MirandaElizabeth I can’t even fathom that information… You shouldn’t be allowed (or not) access to your heritage and culture based on a number! What an awful system! I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. That really does just boggle my mind.
@BronwynParry1 Oh wow! What a great way to keep your connection to your heritage alive! Those trips sound lovely. There a definitely some lovely Welsh names to choose from.
I did the ancestry.com DNA test and the surprising thing was that all genetic markers agreed with where y family tree had taken me. That to me was amazing.
I think family is very important. I try to make sure my kids know as much about their family history as possible. For me tho, I think its because my mother died when they were babies and they never got to know her, instead of a cultural thing.
Heritage is quite important to DH and I. All of our children have names that honour our heritage. DH is half [name_u]French[/name_u]/ half Greek and I am half British ([name_f]My[/name_f] mom is [name_f]English[/name_f]/ Irish) and half [name_u]French[/name_u]. I am also Jewish. We are connected to our heritage and our kids names show that.
[name_f]Hermione[/name_f] [name_f]Elise[/name_f]: [name_f]Hermione[/name_f] is Greek, [name_f]Elise[/name_f] is [name_u]French[/name_u]
[name_m]Ferris[/name_m] [name_u]Jay[/name_u]: [name_m]Ferris[/name_m] is Irish
[name_u]James[/name_u] [name_m]Theodore[/name_m]: [name_u]James[/name_u] is [name_f]English[/name_f], [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] is Jewish
[name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] [name_f]Hallie[/name_f]: [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] is Greek, [name_f]Hallie[/name_f] is [name_f]English[/name_f]
[name_f]Lucia[/name_f] [name_u]Teagan[/name_u]: [name_u]Teagan[/name_u] is Irish
Our hope is that the children grow up feeling like citizens of the world, and understand the way we live or the ways in which they will live in the future are no more valid or desirable than others. However, when DH and I started planning a life together I was fully honest and told him that Judaism, as a religion and as a culture, shaped my childhood and my youth, and that I had no other point of reference to raise a family beyond what was passed down to me. He is Jewish too, but not as interested or in-touch with his heritage.
We agreed that we would use the tools available to us as best as we could, and Jewish ethics, holidays and culture include are part of that. [name_f]My[/name_f] family and his has been all over the place (Ukraine, Poland, [name_f]France[/name_f], [name_u]Israel[/name_u], [name_f]Argentina[/name_f], the USA, [name_f]Canada[/name_f]), and the languages that have been salvaged from this saga are [name_u]French[/name_u] and Ukranian, which we speak among family members.
I don’t know what do we expect the kids to do with it, if anything, but right now our home is built on this foundation. DH keeps things interesting by constantly questioning our culture and helping the kids see that there are other ways of doing things, which is also valuable and welcomed, as nationalism and self-involvement is not something we would want to foster. [name_m]Just[/name_m] a sense of home and family that has survived through many generations.
I couldn’t agree more with those who have said that being in the states people tell you exactly what they’ve been told their whole live. “[name_f]My[/name_f] great-great-grandma was Native American” and stuff like that.
Personally I’m quite mixed. I’ve done the ancestry DNA test which supports everything my dad knows about his own heritage. He’s very into keeping track of where our ancestors came from.
So my dad is both Native American and African American; however, likely due to the colonizing and slavery of both he’s likely got some European in his genealogy. His tribe, who he’s a member of, are those that participated in the first thanksgiving. [name_f]My[/name_f] great grandma actually passed down her regalia to me (even though she had multiple grand/great grand-children) and it’s one of the most special moments for me. We didn’t get to grow up near our tribe though and that’s been tough. So I think it will be tough to pass on that culture outside of exposing them to the annual powwow instead of the 4th of [name_u]July[/name_u]. I will however dedicate a lot of time teaching them the real history behind events that isn’t taught in public school systems. Which is a whole other topic.
Then the other part of my father is black. In reality I think they were mixed race, but they did escape from slavery and use the Underground Railroad. We have documentation of their journey and settlement. They were the first black people to settle in that county and not long after the first black persons ever to be in the state. So, we have a very strong connection to that culture. Our annual reunions are massive!
Lastly, my mom is likely [name_f]English[/name_f], Irish and [name_m]German[/name_m]. Her last name and my grandmas are very [name_m]German[/name_m]. So nothing that’s extremely verifiable without taking to my grandma.
Essentially I’m a mixture of a lot of cultures but I feel connected to all of them thanks to my parents. I will likely pass on information and realization of what happened to the minority part of me. The struggles they’ve went through and continue to go through on a daily basis. [name_f]My[/name_f] dad and his family face a lot of those issues still today. If I have children with my current partner, my children will likely appear Caucasian.
). I only speak Icelandic with them at home though, so my son doesn’t speak it perfectly and makes some mistakes. But he has a very good idea of the language and I tell him all about Icelandic culture and traditions. He loves all the stories and legends.
Given the political climate at the moment, it’s been interesting to see how much judgement has fallen on the US, regardless of similar problems in Australia. You’re right in saying that the scale of one verses the other is vast - so much so, I think most Australians forget that we’ve had our own issues and done poor things in our past as well. I’ve been listening a lot to Aboriginal and Maori people on their points of view in the last few weeks, and heavens, is it eye opening! 
[name_f]Every[/name_f] person from a colonisation background should have a deep and meaningful conversation with a first nations person - oh the things they’d learn!
Well, so far there are nine other children who want to join, but Hjörtur gave him the idea. He also says he wants dreadlocks just like his dad, but I told him he has to wait a while for that 
So far he doesn’t seem to be aware of the fact that he looks a bit different than his little brother. In school he’s had a few remarks though, the city where we live is rather “white”. But it doesn’t seem to bother him at all.
People tell me it’s a difficult language to learn though. [name_f]My[/name_f] ex-husband tried once, but he didn’t get past “how are you?” and “could you tell me where the airport is?”. [name_f]My[/name_f] SO doesn’t speak it either, which isn’t easy since he usually doesn’t understand a word of what I’m saying to the children. I’ve noticed that I sometimes stop speaking Icelandic to them because of this.
Learning traditional dance would be a great way for him to be connected to his father’s cultural traditions. I love that other children are interested in it too - what an exciting venture and opportunity! 
Oh I’m sure he’d look awesome in dreads haha! Very stylish 
