I get where you’re coming from. If the situation was reversed, I’m sure I’d have similar questions. But, I think it’s really really hard to make any generalizations about Americans. Individualism has played a big role in American history and culture and [name]America[/name] is a melting pot- theoretically everyone is accepted for who they are. But community is important as well, but I don’t think in the US community and naming necessarily go hand in hand. Naming trends, for example, tend to be more community based than names themselves. Currently “[name]Bella[/name]” and “[name]Ayden[/name]” trends are sweeping the US and there are lots of Isabellas, Bellas, Annabellas, Aidans, [name]Jayden[/name], Haydens and Kaydens. So I’d consider that a form of community naming. But I really think it depends on where in the US you’re from. I’m from New [name]York[/name] City. Being different is valued here. I went to very progressive schools that emphasized that each child is different and special and, yes, unique. My family is artsy and academic and my parents encouraged me to follow my heart and not the crowd. But that’s not true about everyone. [name]Urban[/name] areas tend to be less homogenous and more diverse. I’d say that in the south, in small town/rural [name]America[/name], on the west coast, in the south east, the trends and the communities would be different. [name]How[/name] different? I can’t say because I’m not from there, but the US is a big country and there’s lots of different influences and pressures based on where you live and how your raised.
Ouch. That’s kind of harsh. I’ve participated in plenty of wonderful “real” discussions here on Nameberry.
[name]Hi[/name] freckles - my friends and I have an impression of New Yorkers and Californians as progressive and the rest of [name]America[/name] as deeply conservative. This might be wrong but I think it is what a lot of foreigners think. I get what you are saying though - it is a big country (I know I lived for a year in San [name]Francisco[/name] and New Orleans).
I was harsh. Sorry (I kind of meant it though. It would be good to have discussions without everyone getting offended all of the time).
Oh and I am not saying American’s value uniqueness over community - I am asking: do they? Because these posts suggest they do.
I think most nameberries value uniqueness in names. But in terms of Americans in general, the US is a country of over 300 million people, many of them originally from other cultures. Of the first 10 or so houses on my block, there are naturalized citizens from Lebanon, [name]Cuba[/name], [name]Peru[/name], the Philippines, Portugal, and [name]India[/name]. They are all American citizens, but their values, beliefs, traditions, and backgrounds differ immensely from my own, and from each other. There is no possible way to know what Americans as a whole value.
I don’t know where your comment about class conciousness is coming from.
Another recent post.
You berries seem easily offended: shall we stick to flower names instead of discussing any thing real?
No. I’m not saying that. Like you said, I’m engaging in discussion.
In the spirit of “discussion”, let’s consider this: does it have to be one or the other? Individualism versus collectivism? Yes, there is a lot of research on this subject classifying cultures as one or the other. But really, all cultures have some aspects of both. While I value uniqueness, I also strongly value family and connectedness, which is why, for me, middle-name slots are reserved for family names. Name choices can indicate both types of values. In fact, it might be argued that my appreciation for unique names shows a connection to my family’s tradition of using unique names.
Personally, I don’t like people generalizing or -dare I say it- stereotyping cultures or countries. And if I feel like this kind of activity is going on, I’m going to say something. As an American, I have heard way too many “all Americans are fat”, “all Americans hate the Middle [name]East[/name]”, and “all Americans are greedy capitalists” to want to listen to any more generalizations about what Americans are and what they value. Of course, none of the opinions on this board were that offensive, but, to me, any kind of generalizing feels like that.
I completely agree with freckles: every pocket of the United States is different. Our cultural trends are defined by states, cities, or even neighborhoods - certainly not as a whole country. So when the original poster asks, “I am asking: do they?”, I would have to answer that honestly, you can’t tell. Sure, some Americans do. Some Americans don’t. While some may think that is a copout answer, its the truth. Many people on the Nameberry boards ask for “different names” or names they’ve never heard before, while statistics show that hundreds of people choose the same name. Here in [name]California[/name], we have our fair share of [name]Camryn[/name]'s, [name]Kaylee[/name]'s, and [name]Aydin[/name]'s - all which appear to be following community naming trends. However, I also know children with very unusual names. I don’t think our even our state necessarily values uniqueness over community.
Personally I loved growing up with a name that was a bit out of the ordinary. I have run into a few others with my name, but not many. I like that I know my mother made sure that when she was naming me she found a name that reflected her and not just the trends of the time. I much prefer that to being named [name]Ashley[/name] or [name]Brittany[/name] like a lot of other girls in my generation just because those are the names that were popular. However; if you have loved the name [name]Emma[/name] all your life I don’t see anything wrong with using it. I just think that people should be sure to put a significant amount of thought into a child’s name and not just go with what is trendy.
While we all might have an impression of other countries and ethnicities (example: all Americans hate Muslims, and all Muslims hate Americans), doesn’t mean that they are correct or should be acted on in such a way. I am not an easily offended person, I just don’t stand for unncecessary rudeness. And, quite frankly, some of your comments regarding this post were slightly rude.
I enjoy discussions, and I appreciate you bringing up this discussion, but it is not fair to generalize and, since you sparked the debate, disregard what others are saying. I feel that I should post this because I enjoy discussions about things like this, but not when they turn into a series of rude comments and generalizations - about both other countries and Nameberries.
Now, for me, I think uniqueness is pretty important. In my high school in my grade there are at least:
12 Tylers
10 [name]Caitlin[/name]/[name]Kaitlyn[/name]/[name]Katelynn[/name]'s etc
7 Johns
5 Jordans (girls)
7 [name]Brianna[/name]/Briannes
I was talking to my friend [name]Caitlin[/name] today, and she mentioned how she wished she had a more unique name, since there are so many other Caitlins, just in our grade. We have a friend named [name]Orion[/name], and he is definitely the only guy I’ve met named [name]Orion[/name], and I think it’s really cool.
I think individuality is important, as is community, but I’ve learned that, at the end of the day, all you’ve got for sure is yourself. And having a sense of self, be your name [name]Jessamine[/name] or [name]Isabella[/name], is the most important. I personally feel like having a special or unique name adds to that.
As someone who has worked as a statistician for a good portion of her life, the biggest issue in this debate for me is the fact that Nameberry should not be used as a sample that accurately represents any sort of greater population. Nameberry is a site often frequented by people with more than a passing interest in names - people who are interested in the meanings, in creativity, and yes, uniqueness (just definitely not Youniqueness :D). So it would stand to reason that the overall NB penchant for seeking more unusual names and staying away from popular trends is a characteristic of our particular group within the larger society.
As a nameophile, I have no idea what else goes on in the greater world when naming a baby, but after talking to my cousin who gave birth last month, it seems to be either process of elimination (crossing names off each other’s lists until they settle on an acceptable choice for both) or naming to honour someone, usually a family member. The search for a unique name was far beyond what she was concerned about when she was 8 months pregnant and grouchy and hormonal… she just wanted something that hubby would agree to, and that wouldn’t get her child teased in school! (Actually the teasing factor would probably lead most parents to choose something more traditional/popular than unique, if anything). I know that’s just one example but my point is, you can’t let our neuroticism for the unique and unusual (and that’s meant in the best possible way, Berries! I have it too! :D) dictate opinions about the entire country. In fact, just looking at the SSA list and seeing that hundreds of thousands of people are continuing to name their children [name]Isabella[/name], [name]Sophia[/name], [name]Jacob[/name] and [name]Alexander[/name] would draw the logical conclusion that namers are drawn to the familiar, rather than the unique… but that’s just my two cents worth
For me personally - I see value in both uniqueness and conformity. In terms of naming, though, I would prefer my child to have an unusual (or at least not a commonly heard) name because I adore naming and there are too many interesting, exciting and underused names in this world for me to just give in and use something that everyone is calling their baby. I take an interest in this area, so why shouldn’t I display that? However, I think the overriding opinion on NB is that if a parent simply just loves a name, popularity shouldn’t matter - they should go with what they love. And I think that’s a fantastic attitude when it comes to naming.
