Anyone who has ever been pregnant or had children knows all about those questions that shouldn’t be asked, yet always seem to be asked by everyone whether they know you or not. Whether in Target, at the playground or at work, we are faced with question that run from the absurd to the down right rude just because people seem to think that if you are pregnant they have the right.
Here are some of the questions I have been asked either during this pregnancy or my previous one:
‘Woah, another set of twins? Did you want to shoot yourself when you found out?’ (what? who says that?)
‘Did you circumcise your sons?’ (asked by a complete stranger at the park)
‘Two sets of twins? You must be done having children now, right?’ ([name]Said[/name] with a look of horror at my husbands office party)
‘Are you going to breast feed?’ (asked in the check out line of Target)
‘[name]How[/name] long were you in labor?’ (Waiting to take the boys home after giving birth)
‘Did you have a c-section?’
‘[name]How[/name] much weight have you gained?’ and then ‘Have you lost all your pregnancy weight?’
‘[name]Do[/name] your boobs hurt?’ (at work after announcing my first pregnancy)
Anyways, what are some of the questions that you have been asked? [name]How[/name] did you react to them?
Haha. I just had a relative, who incidentally I like very much, send me an email where she asked me if I knew my options for birth control now that I’ll be finished having my third child.
Nothing as outlandish as yours (!) but when still just barely pregnant with my first child, everyone kept asking me how many I was going to have. Or when holding my 2 or 3 week old - when am I going to have another. Can’t I just enjoy my daughter!?!?! It happened so frequently that I started responding, “well, I’m not tired of this one yet!”
So many people (friends, family over the phone) have asked- how much do you weight now? or [name]How[/name] much weight did you gain? Uncomfortable to talk about considering that I feel like a blimp.
People have also asked me whether it’s a boy or a girl, and when I say girl, a few people asked “Are you planning on having a boy too?” as if I could just magically decide that the next one- if there even IS a next one-will be a boy or a girl. That’s not how it works!
I’ve had lots of trouble with vomitting this pregnancy, to the point that I had to be hospitalized twice for IV fluids, and now starting my 7th month I’m STILL vomiting and have to take prescription drugs every day just to hold food down. Something I hate that people say is “oh, the nausea really isn’t that bad”, or “I never threw up once during my pregnancy” or my favorite- from my boyfriend;s mom who recently read a book about gluten being the source of all problems- “Maybe you’re throwing up because you eat too much gluten. Why don’t you try a gluten free diet?”
I knew I wanted to have an unmedicated, “natural” labor, if it was reasonable to do so. I’m a very flexible kind of person, so I knew that medical troubles may arise that required a c-section, or maybe the pain would just be way worse than I was expecting, and in those cases I totally would have considered an epidural. But the point is, I wanted to give it a try.
A friend of mine was due the same month as I was. At her baby shower, I mentioned to her mom that I was taking natural childbirth prep classes. She said “Haha, just wait! You’ll be in the hospital about five minutes before you’re screaming for the epidural.” (I guess that’s more a statement than a question!) I just smiled, said “You never know…” and pretty much forgot about the incident.
A couple months ago, I was at my friend’s son’s first birthday party. I hadn’t seen friend’s mom since her shower over a year earlier. She came up to me and smugly said, “So, how did that whole natural drug-free childbirth thing go for ya, huh?”
I said, “Great! I got really lucky and had no complications. Fortunately, it went very smoothly.”
She made a shocked face. My husband added proudly, “She made it look easy!”
The mom replied, “Oh, I find that hard to believe!”