The PERFECT name....How do you know when you've found it?

General Name Discussion
1

[name]Baby[/name] #3 in the works. Absolutely no regrets on my 1st 2 kiddos. But I didn’t ask for any opinions out side of the family for those two either. This time I did because it’s so much harder to a pick a name after already using your fave girl & boy name. “Aces in the hole” my hubby calls them. :slight_smile: Hubby didn’t want to even discuss names until after the anatomy scan ultrasound & finding out the sex. I brainstormed for boy & girl names so that I’d be ready when he was ready to start discussing. Was pleasantly surprised with a girl! Before finding out, I ran my top boy & girl name passed my mom. She like the boy one & hated the girl saying “that’s not a name”. Well it is, just not generally for a girl. It upset me 'cause mom’s are s’pose to be supportive & not say “I’m not gonna call her that if you name a girl that.” So I vented on babycenter & got bashed. Came to Nameberry & got equal positive & negative feedback on using this name for a girl.

I have regrets about venting on babycenter 'cause that only ticked me off more.

I feel that God led my husband to the PERFECT name for 1st daughter. I could only come up with boy names the first time. It took us 3yrs to conceive our son. My husband only had one name on his “list” before we even conceived. I knew that again was the PERFECT name. This time, before I made my list. There was one name in the back of my head that I kept pushing to the back of my head for months because it was quite “out there” & yes theme-y.

I have read some posts about having regrets on the name AFTER baby was born. I don’t think I will, but this does make me think harder. ALL the other girl names on my list hubby said no to for the first name; most he said no to for the middle name. It wasn’t till last week that hubby told me the name he had picked out & the first name was the only name on my list he didn’t cross out. I had asked him the other night if he agreed to it because he really likes it or if he agreed to it in spite of all the online controversary I’ve gotten for it. He said “For something that’s somewhat permanent, I would never do it in spite of.”

We are still undecided on the middle name & this is what’s 'causing me to question if it’s the PERFECT name or if maybe she doesn’t need a middle name at all.

So how do YOU know when you’ve found the PERFECT name??

(If you don’t already know what the name is & you wanna know, just look at my profile & recent threads. :slight_smile: )

2

We picked a name most people on Nameberry don’t really like for our daughter but we’ve gotten a lot of positive responses in real life. It wasn’t a name our family thought we would pick based on previous conversations about names, but I know it suits her. Its almost as if the baby just came with this name, and nothing else seems as good. That’s how I know it perfect.

If you love the name you’ve picked (and it seems you do) then just stick with it. I don’t think you’ll regret it.

I don’t know what advise to give for a middle name. You don’t legally need it I suppose. My brother’s middle name is J. It doesn’t stand for anything its just the letter, so that could be an option if you feel it needs something to connect the first and last name.

3

It’s probably different for everyone, but it was a number of things for me.

First it started with a feeling of rightness, for lack of a better term…a sort of “OMG, I think that’s his name!” feeling. It wasn’t on my pre-pregnancy short list. Actually, the only list it was ever on was a long list of potential middle names I had written twelve years before he was born. Over Thanksgiving, though, my mom was reading aloud from a baby name book, and it struck a chord. I just kind of knew.

After that, I just had to make sure that it fit my definition of a “good name” and that I wasn’t swept up in some sort of hormonal insanity. :smiley: It ticked all my good name boxes: easy to pronounce and spell, obviously masculine (although it can be legitimately feminine, it’s not likely where I live), has a real history I can connect to, has good namesakes I can admire, won’t provoke laughter, derision, or pity, doesn’t have funky nicknames or create bad/rude initials, doesn’t bring negative images to my mind, and would grow with him and would suit him no matter what he chooses to become as an adult. I also had to make peace with its popularity because it was far more common than I told myself I wanted.

The result: the perfect name and no regrets. 6+ years later and just saying his name makes me happy.

I do worry that, if I have another child, I won’t be as happy with his/her name. My plan is to start with a name I love the sound of, make sure that it meets my naming criteria, and search my heart for that feeling of rightness. When I have all three, I’ll have the name.

ETA: If your other children have middle names, I say don’t short change this child by not giving her one. It would also give her an option if she decides her first name doesn’t suit her, which can happen with any kid and any first name.

4

Anyone else care to comment?

5

I think what I see as ‘knowing you have the perfect name’ is when you stop looking at different names, because when you look at different names you just keep coming back to the original one. The you know it is the one.

Perhaps the middle name just hasn’t presented itself yet. Since your DH likes your name, perhaps that is THE mn?

emiliaj

6

Funny one emiliaj! I would never feel comfortable handing down my name. Maybe the 2nd half of it, but DH said no to all names that have “elle”.

7

Have you considered choosing a mn that links to birth month? eg “[name]May[/name]” [name]Mae[/name], [name]Mei[/name], “[name]June[/name]”: [name]Juno[/name], [name]Juniper[/name] or the birthstone? eg [name]Pearl[/name], or flower? or link to your local area? Or the place you had a honeymoon? Maybe a name with a particular link or meaning would click for you?

emiliaj

8

The perfect name will give you a sense of belonging and ownership to the name. You will feel at home with it and have a sense that it is right for you and your family. All the really important criteria for the name will be met. The sound and sight of the name will give you a thrill. I always dissect a name, and want to appreciate and enjoy the sounds of each syllable.

I agree with other posters that you should give your daughter a middle name. As far as I know, everyone I’ve heard of without a middle name feels left out, different, and cheated. I hope you will give her a middle name. Best wishes!

9

I thought [name]May[/name] would be “perfect” to go with it, but DH doesn’t like using months as names. [name]Even[/name] for middle names.