The Right Age To Have A Baby?

I recently had a conversation with my younger sister, who’s been married for about a year now. She’s only 23, but said that her and her husband had better get on with having a first child before she left it too long, and it got me thinking. What is the right age to have a baby?

I’m 25, nearly 26 and I’ve had so many comments from others how I’ve waited a long time for my first. I’ve been married for 3 years now, but we only felt it was right to have a baby at the beginning of this year.

I feel the ‘right’ time is when you and your partner feel ready, but so many others have a set age for when you should have your first.

When did you have your first? Or when do you expect to? Is there a ‘right’ age to have a baby?

Of course it varies by person. I am 27, and looking to start TTC in 2014. If all goes well, I’ll be 28-29 when I have my first. I went to graduate school and law school, and I wanted to be financially stable before we tried. My mother had her first at 30, which was “old” for our area of Appalachia, but it was right for her. Some people I went to high school with had a baby when they were definitely not financially ready or emotionally mature enough at 25 or so. Others became parents at 19-20 and have been fantastic. It all depends on where you are in life, your maturity level, and you financial ability to care for a child.

I had my first pregnancy at 26, but after two losses, I got pregnant with my daughter and gave birth at age 29. I’m now 33 and ttc again. I wish I had started having babies a bit earlier. I feel like I had a lot more energy in my 20s. I think whatever time is right for each couple is the best time.

@ccomp12, I’m an Appalachian too. :wink:

I’m 21 and expecting. I’ll turn 22 a few months after the baby arrives. We have known each other since we were 16 and have been together without problems since 17. We felt like we were ready because of how long we’ve been together and how much more mature we feel after being through a lot together. So, I think the right time is when you feel like it is. I think you should be able to financially support yourself and have enough time in your life where you can dedicate yourself to someone who is going to need you for a lifetime.

[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let anybody tell you when your “right time” should be, especially when it comes to another human being’s life. The right time is when you and your partner decide it is the right time.

My husband and I dated 10 years before getting engaged. We got lots of flak from friends and family for not moving ahead faster, but now what we counsel younger cousins is: do it in your own time. [name_m]Don[/name_m]‘t be pressured to live by others’ timelines. I’m not saying it wouldn’t have worked out if we had gotten married when everyone else thought we should have, just that it would have been a lot harder. Getting married when we did was the easiest, most natural thing.

And now, 2 years later, we are pregnant. This actually does fit in with most people’s timeline of when others ought to start having babies, so at about the time friends and family started goading us to get started, we were already one step ahead of them! But again, we were operating based on what felt right and natural for us. We were ready to have a family. We were ready to have kids. In fact, at a family gathering shortly after announcing our pregnancy, where for the first times we were surrounded by a bunch of little 2nd cousins (cousins once removed? I dunno…our cousin’s babies), my husband said to me, “I wish we had gotten started earlier, I want to be part of that club right now.”

Having a kid because you’re “supposed” to at a certain age is completely unfair to that human being that you are bringing into the world. Having a baby because your family has a hole that can only be filled by that little one, that is the reason to do it.

ETA: And yes the other posters brought up some good real-life details as well: much better to make sure you are financially and physically in a place to support a baby, and consider how a baby will impact things like school and career goals. Doesn’t have to change any decisions, just things that need to be factored in as well as a general intuitive sense of “readiness.”

The right age is whatever is age is right for you.

(Personally, I was an a** in my twenties. I’m 32 now.)

Well, obviously, there is no “right age”. It’s when you feel prepared and ready. For me, that’s now at age 29. But I think, ideally, the best time is anywhere between 25 and 35. Yeah, I know, you can be a great mum at 20 or 40. But I think 25-35 is best.

There is no right age or time to have a baby, in my opinion. It varies for every couple when the best age or time is. I was younger(I mean [name_m]YOUNG[/name_m]) when I got married. We decided to start trying soon after we were married. It took years to get pregnant. So even though we thought we were ready to have a baby a few years ago, it wasn’t meant to be for us at that time. Now, that we’re nearly pregnant, we feel it’s the best time. “Everything happens for a reason” is my life motto. I live by it and preach it to the world.

We had our first the year I turned 25 & my husband had turned 27. We were already happily married for a few years, financially stable, DH has a good job, we owned our own home… There are a number of factors to consider before TTC, but those for us were the big ones. Honestly we didn’t expect to get pregnant so quickly when I came off birth control so we would have been totally fine with waiting longer before we had our first.
I would encourage anyone to wait if possible until at least their mid 20’s before trying to have kids, just so you have time to live YOUR life a bit. Otherwise you might become a bit resentful that you have to stay home with your children instead of going out and doing all the thing people in their 20’s usually do. I would not have wanted to start having kids any earlier than we did. We are happy with where our life is now, but like I said we would have been happy to wait longer too.
But don’t let anyone determine what’s right for you.

I was 24 when I got pregnant (almost exactly a month before my 25th birthday) and 25 when I gave birth. I just turned 27. I read in a magazine once that 24 was the optimal age for a woman to get pregnant. I honestly don’t even remember the reasoning they gave, but I did make it my goal. We started TTC just before my 24th birthday and it took us a whole year to conceive (I have PCOS, I don’t think it takes women with normal hormone levels that long usually). We had been married for 3 years when we started trying. Kids were always a major priority for us, and we both agreed we wanted to have them when we were “young enough to keep up with them”. I personally would have loved to start TTC right away when we got married, but it wasn’t a responsible choice at the time. I was student teaching to finish my degree program and we were living in a studio apartment in a not-so-nice part of town. So, we made goals. I had to finish school, we had to move to a bigger and better place, we needed to feel like we could handle it financially, and once I was diagnosed with PCOS getting that under control became a priority (since it makes getting pregnant most difficult and miscarriages more likely). I don’t believe think there is ever a truly perfect time, you can never be totally prepared, but I think you’ll know when if feels “right”. The age will be different for everybody.

The answer is that there is no *right age. I just read an article stating that 25 was the optimum age to have your first child, but I think it’s kind of toxic to put that out there in that way. I don’t think anyone should get to it at 25 with a partner that they aren’t certain about or a lifestyle that they don’t want to compromise just cause they’re 25. I also don’t think anyone in their 30s & 40s should fear having an “inferior” baby or that people in their early 20s who have lived several lifetimes & are settled & ready should put it off to avoid criticism. It’s all about the individual & their partner.

I’m 44 and pregnant with our first–yes, conceived naturally–so the idea that mid or late twenties is late seems absurd to me. Our lives were much too unstable when we were younger and we were building our careers. [name_f]Do[/name_f] what seems right for you.

I am 25 and will be when my little one gets here in February. I feel like this is the right time for us. I agree with the others, there are so many other factors that are more important than age. It is different for everyone and only you know what is right for you!

I agree, it really depends on the person. The right time for me was 31, because that’s how old I was when my body finally decided to get it’s act together and get pregnant. lol. I wish it would have been younger but now I am happy to have been able to have kids at all!

I am 27, almost 28 and husband is 30 almost 31. We’ve been together 6 years but just got married 1 year ago. We are tentatively planning to try for a baby in 2016. I will be finished with school, we will have had time to enjoy each other and be selfish, and we will have had time to become more financially stable. We own our home, both have steady careers, both have newer vehicles, etc. If all goes according to plan I will have my first at 30 or 31 - one reason to look forward to my 30th birthday right?

There’s no right age. Ideally, one would have their own home, an established career and financial security before becoming a parent. But when it comes down to it, all a baby needs is love. [name_f]Love[/name_f] can be given by parents of any age, whether they be 18 or 45. That’s all that matters.

I had my first aged 21 and I thought that was quite average, if a little young? DH was 25 and our financial situation was stable. His job was secure as he’d been in the Marines for 8 years already so we just felt like it was the right time to start. I was adopted in my teen years so it was important to me to be able to have a family of my own as soon as possible. To be honest I think the ‘right’ time is whenever you can comfortably care for your child both financially and emotionally.

I was 26 when I had [name_m]Elijah[/name_m]. We had been married for 3 years by the time he was born. I think it’s so personal to each couple that there is no set right age. 26 was just perfect for us, but if we had him when we were first ttc (23 years old), that would have been perfect too :slight_smile:

I completely agree with what basically everyone else has said about there being no ‘right’ age. My husband and I are both 26 and are expecting our firsts (twins!) in the new year. We were ‘a couple’ for ages before though, and like capturedcastle said, we just waited until it felt right. We wanted to be financially secure with our own house, stable jobs and the right mindset before we started our family. And now we are, and it’s great!

My husband and I are 22, been together since we were 15, and have been married for a year and a half. Everyone is shocked that we haven’t had a baby yet but we are going to start trying within the nest year. I think with us, we are at the stage in life that most 26/27 year olds (as far as careers, marriage, etc.) are but that is just how we do things. I understand that most people our age would not be ready to have children but we are so I say it all depends on you and your spouse. Children are a huge responsibility and you should not try to conceive until absolutely ready. There is no “right age” in my opinion.