This might be complicated but stick with me. My S/O’s ex’s father is named [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] (not sure if it’s [name_m]Charles[/name_m] or not) and she has always said that her first daughter would be named [name_u]Charley[/name_u] after her dad. My S/O and his ex have a son, my step-son, [name_u]Bentley[/name_u]. We are currently loving [name_m]Charles[/name_m] nn [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] as our top choice for a boy.
That leads us to the problem of… what if [name_u]Bentley[/name_u] ends up with a half-brother named [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] & a half-sister named [name_u]Charley[/name_u]? Is that possibility enough reason to scrap the name? I know his ex will definitely still use it even if we do, and probably even more so if we do! We will definitely have a child before she does since we are TTC and she is single right now, so is it fair game or should we choose something else? What would you do?
Our other top favorites are [name_u]Hayden[/name_u] or [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m].
I wouldn’t use it, she’s already made it clear she wants to use however it’s not particularly confusing, I know someone who has two stepbrothers with the same name and lives half the time with each stepbrother and parent set, he says it’s not that confusing except at his award nights and stuff when the family all come together. It technically is fair game and [name_u]Bentley[/name_u] and [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] are an adorable set, if she does use it after though then that’s not particularly considerate of her, especially of her son. I don’t feel like [name_u]Hayden[/name_u] or [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] have the same flow as [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] with [name_u]Bentley[/name_u]. I’m not sure, I think I’m just waffling now, hope this helps!
Not a big deal. You don’t need anyone’s permission to use [name_u]Charlie[/name_u]. There’s no sense in taking a name off of your list because of your husband’s ex’s hypothetical daughter.
I don’t think you should use it and I kind of feel that it would be seen as petty if you did use it, knowing full well that your S/O’s ex will for sure use the name. It would be a different story altogether if you didn’t know her plans, but since you do and [name_m]Charles[/name_m] was her father, it’s actually really rude to use it and could make relations terrible. It’s not worth it, there are thousands of handsome names that go with [name_u]Bentley[/name_u]. Be the bigger person here.
I assume if you had a son named [name_u]Bentley[/name_u] you would have not refused to date or marry this man because he had a son named [name_u]Bentley[/name_u]. And that could be the children living under the same roof. Things like this happen.
People [name_f]DO[/name_f] NOT own names. We can all use the names we love and adore (within the laws where you live). If someone takes issue with that, it is their issue.
Ouch. To be fair, she has never told me that she wants to use [name_u]Charley[/name_u], she told my S/O 6+ years ago when she was pregnant with their son.
Eh, if you can love a different name then I would use something else, just to avoid complications. But, like they said above, the daughter is hypothetical. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if she does eventually have a daughter, she may not want to use a name she seriously considered with an ex, if that makes sense. Still, I personally wouldn’t do it unless it’s your absolute favorite and you think you would regret not using it
This is a tricky situation. I personally wouldn’t use it just because I think it would be confusing. At the same time though, she may never end up having a daughter. The most important thing is that you’re happy with the name, so if [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] is the only one you really love then go for it.
I wouldn’t, just for the simple reason I wouldn’t want my kid to share a name with anyone I knew let alone their father’s ex’s (possible) child. It would have tainted the name and my attachment to it, I think. It wouldn’t feel perfect enough to me.
I’m not saying it’s a terrible idea. Of course it might irritate or upset his ex but worse things have happened and it’s clearly not with bad intent. The kids having the same name is inconvenient but not tragic.
It just doesn’t seem like [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] is your only choice and your doubt speaks for itself here, I think.
Although you do have the right to choose any name you like I wouldn’t use [name_u]Charlie[/name_u]. [name_m]Reading[/name_m] between the lines it appears that there is at least a little bit of animosity between your husband’s ex and your family, and I would hate to have something as inconsequential as a name stir the pot. I am sure that you care deeply for [name_u]Bentley[/name_u], and for his sake I would make every effort to maintain a positive relationship with his mother. Although [name_u]Bentley[/name_u]'s mother has never told you directly that she plans to name a daughter [name_u]Charley[/name_u] she obviously did make this very clear to your husband, and particularly because [name_u]Charley[/name_u] would honor a loved family member I could understand her feeling slighted by your choice of name and even upset that she would look like the petty one if she ever used the name for a future daughter.
