Hey Berries,

I’m one of those people who worries about their kids’ names being a mismatch. If this doesn’t bother you then this post probably won’t interest you.

So far I’ve completely settled on 1 girl’s name, and part of what makes me so sure of this name is that I feel the name fits under a couple of different themes (fn: magic, old&undiscovered; mn: beloved character, very rareunique) and I’m fairly confident in my ability to build a second girl’s name that shares at least some of these themes.

Edit to add: girl’s name in mind is Tabitha Kat (not the full middle name, I’m keeping that a secret). Some of the first names I’m toying with for a second girl are Lavender and Waverley (no ideas for a middle yet).

Boys’ names are a struggle. I have one name picked out that I really like, but I feel like the themes are too specific (fn: Irish surname; mn: space-themed) and I’ve caught myself in some sort of naming trap where I would either need to pick a second boy’s name that comes off as extremely matchy-matchy, or feels like a complete mismatch.

Edit to add: boy’s name in mind is Finnegan Apollo.

I think a big part of my struggle comes from having very specific associations between boys’ names and personality type so it takes a lot of names I like off the table. For example, I could never see myself having a son named [name_m]Angus[/name_m] because it feels like a big strong name and I’m pretty much guaranteed to have a scrawny little kid (until adulthood at least). I also love a lot of boys’ names with negative meanings or associations (Maverick, Damon, etc) and I’m worried that if I have a mischievous kid (again, almost guaranteed) that family/friends/teachers will crack jokes about it being my fault for naming my kid X (which would make my blood boil).

Does anyone have any advice for broadening boy name themes (or searches) or how to move past hangups between a name and personality expectations?

Could you let us know the two names you like?

What I do is look at different name lists that have different personalities, such as ‘Upright Elegance’ for girls and ‘Scandinavian Spectaculars’ for boys ( Sometimes mismatched styles in names can make for a cute and quirky set. I don’t think giving one child an Irish surname name locks you into all Irish names.

Say your boys name is [name_m]Rafferty[/name_m], I think that could go well with a variety of styles/personalities:

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For what it’s worth, I grew up around an [name_m]Angus[/name_m] who had (and still has) a lanky, slim build. [name_f]Remember[/name_f] that your associations are unique to you, and not necessarily the associations that everyone else has, and none of that will influence who your future son will become. That will be decided by his innate personality and the values you help to instil in him.

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It’s tough to say without knowing the names you’re thinking about.

I have a similar love for names with “negative meanings or associations,” so I see where you’re coming from with anticipating comments that would be irritating.

But children’s personalities are very unpredictable. I really cannot express how opposite my sibling and I are, in terms of personality. Yet we came from the same parents and grew up in the same household.

I’ve worked with a lot of families on parenting issues (in my education and work). A lot of it comes from having children with personalities that are different from what they anticipated. Because it’s impossible to anticipate this factor. Parents instill values, along with likes and dislikes, in their children, but even that isn’t much of a guarantee for how they will grow into themselves.

The biggest thing about parenting is rolling with the punches and picking your battles. If your kid is being mischievous to the point of family/friends/teachers commenting on it, you’ll be more concerned with the behavior and/or how the behavior is being handled (or not handled) by others, rather than anything to do with personally insulting comments about a name that you love.

Either way, when it comes to names, I feel like you just “know” when it’s the right one. If you have doubts, it’s ok to explore other options. But if nothing makes you feel the love and passion like what you currently have in mind, then that’s really all that matters.

I hope that helps!


Edited to add some of the names I’m thinking of :slight_smile:

Oh yes, we definitely have similar taste in names :heart_eyes:

Tabitha [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f] is on my list to have the nn [name_f]Tabby[/name_f] [name_f]Kat[/name_f] :rofl: I have other names that are more meaningful for me, to use first. But if I have a bunch of kids (unlikely), I’ll use this!

My babysitter growing up had a little boy named [name_m]Finnegan[/name_m] with nn [name_u]Finn[/name_u]. No one (besides his parents) really liked the name, but not due to any sort of association (I actually don’t know of any). We just didn’t like how it sounded. It turned out ok, I guess. His parents opinion is the only one that matters, so no one said they disliked it (it’s no one else’s business anyway).

I can see a child named [name_m]Damien[/name_m] with more of the comments that you’re worried about. I think [name_m]Damon[/name_m] is more “normalized” since it’s a variation.

I think [name_m]Finnegan[/name_m] [name_m]Apollo[/name_m] is a stand-out, handsome name!

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