Let’s say you are to-be single mom. (the father is donor from fertility clinic) You have more than 25 names on your list. You top names are usually the same, although you have different crushes every month. You state naming rules allow all kinds of names BUT only one middle. You have a baby. [name_m]How[/name_m] do you decide which name to pick?
I would pick whatever name on my list is the one I know I will always love and will be the most timeless.
I’d cross out my new loves and crushes on my list of 25, names with ANY doubt about them (if I have any worries about them, they’re gone) and try out the remaining ones to find out which one makes me happiest to say. If a name doesn’t make me smile just hearing it then it’s gone. I find this works well, I have loads of names on my list but only a few make me all giddy if I, for example, overhear someone else being called it and I know they are the names. They are usually ones which have been sat on my list for a long time.
I’d also make sure that when doing this, I am ignoring nickname opportunities for the names and just looking at the names themselves. I find myself regretting it when I cross off names if they lack nicknames.
I would choose a first name that’s always been on my list and a middle name to honor family.
Definitely be wary of new names and crushes on the list. I’d probably pay more attention to the long-standing favourites, and then if the crushes withstand the test of time during the pregnancy, then I might consider them as well.
Overall, when in doubt, I just ask. I’d see how other people receive the name, see how popular it is and if that sways my opinion, check and see if there’s any unfortunate implications around the name, etc. If I move through that test and there’s still a few on the list, sometimes asking people which name they would choose can make me realize that I secretly prefer one name over the other.
I’d go with the name that I loved the longest as the first, and put a newer crush in the middle.
This is my plan, even though I’ve become to doubt the possibility, but it’s right up my alley. First, unless a new crush feels like the one, I’m going to stick to names that I’ve had at the top for a long time. They’ve been there for a reason. I also organize names by how strongly I feel about them. If someone puts down a name I like and I start feeling hesitant about it, then I would move it further down my list. When I truly love a name, no matter what someone else says I’ll still love it and the negative opinions don’t phase me.
As for middles, I only plan on using one and prefer honor ones. I have a couple of options for each sex. With boys I tend to prefer a family surname in the middle, while with girls my top middle name honors both of my grandmothers.
Hmmm, interesting question…
I’d probably start by visualising myself with a child called each of the names. I have quite extensive shortlists for both genders but sometimes when I try to actually picture myself calling a child by some of the names on there, I just can’t see it. That would be my first strike.
Second thing would probably be to make sure I love all iterations of the name. If there’s a potential nickname I despise, even if I think it might be avoidable, I’d strike it off the list. Bonus points to any name that has several different nicknames that I love.
I don’t know if this is part of the scenario, but thirdly I’d probably think about potential sibling names. If there are quite a few names on my list for both genders that seem to “go” stylistically and just a few outliers, I’d probably strike off the outliers as GPs, because it might be difficult to choose future sibling names for them. I know lots of people think this doesn’t matter, but I love a good sibset so this one is important to me.
Hopefully I’d have narrowed down quite a lot by now so I’d probably then focus on creating combos out of the remaining names, and go with whichever full name I love best. If I don’t know (or don’t think I know), I’d either flip a coin or ask random strangers to choose, and then I’d know by my gut reaction (pleased/disappointed) which is the “true” right choice.
Failing all that, I’d wait to meet my baby and try out different names on them until I find the one that’s the best fit. 
In your scenario, it sounds like I have the baby already, and while I don’t have children myself, I’ve heard that sometimes when parents meet a baby, s/he just “feels like a _____”, or distinctly “doesn’t feel like a _______”. So I would hope that meeting the baby at least helped me rule out some of the names on my list.
With whatever remained, I’d say all of the first name candidates out loud with the baby’s surname and probably rule some out that way.
With whatever remained after that, I’d run them through the President Or [name_m]Rock[/name_m] [name_f]Star[/name_f] Test to make sure I felt they were all versatile enough.
With whatever remained after that, I’d start fiddling around with first/middle combinations and looking at initials (not that they’d be super important, but there could be some really unfortunate ones, which could rule out some more). I imagine I’d probably use a family middle name, which I’d assume would already be on the list I’m working from.
So… I think largely I’d make the decision by process of elimination. I understand the logic of picking a name I’d loved for years rather than a more recent crush, but I don’t know that I’d stick with that necessarily. I trust my taste in names enough that any name on my list of 25 that made it through all these tests could be a viable name for my child.
In your scenario, it sounds like I have the baby already, and while I don’t have children myself, I’ve heard that sometimes when parents meet a baby, s/he just “feels like a _____”, or distinctly “doesn’t feel like a _______”. So I would hope that meeting the baby at least helped me rule out some of the names on my list.
With whatever remained, I’d say all of the first name candidates out loud with the baby’s surname and probably rule some out that way.
With whatever remained after that, I’d run them through the President Or [name_m]Rock[/name_m] [name_f]Star[/name_f] Test to make sure I felt they were all versatile enough.
With whatever remained after that, I’d start fiddling around with first/middle combinations and looking at initials (not that they’d be super important, but there could be some really unfortunate ones, which could rule out some more). I imagine I’d probably use a family middle name, which I’d assume would already be on the list I’m working from.
So… I think largely I’d make the decision by process of elimination. I understand the logic of picking a name I’d loved for years rather than a more recent crush, but I don’t know that I’d stick with that necessarily. I trust my taste in names enough that any name on my list of 25 that made it through all these tests could be a viable name for my child.