I’m [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], and I’m 19, which means that I have the most popular name in my age group. I’ve never felt like a [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], as much as I think it’s beautiful it just isn’t me. This has been made worse by the fact that quite literally 10% of the women in my (admittedly quite small) college are called [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], and that’s not counting the [name_f]Sara[/name_f]'s. I don’t respond to my name anymore when I hear it called in the dining hall or quad because it’s almost never me they’re looking for.
My concern is my parents. I don’t want to change it legally, because I am only 19 after all and don’t want to make any permanent decisions at this point, but I still feel like it might hurt my parents’ feelings. I don’t want them to think I don’t appreciate the time and thought they put into choosing my name. For those of you who have kids, would it hurt you if your child changed their name when they got older?
I don’t want to change it too drastically. I’ve been considering either [name_f]Sadie[/name_f] or [name_f]Sally[/name_f] as they are diminutives of [name_f]Sarah[/name_f]. I’m leaning towards [name_f]Sadie[/name_f]. I would keep my middle name, so it would be [name_f]Sadie[/name_f] [name_f]Megan[/name_f] (pronounced MAYG-in, my mom is very adamant about this). [name_m]How[/name_m] does that sound? Is [name_f]Sally[/name_f] [name_f]Megan[/name_f] nicer?
I have been thinking about this for a few years, so this isn’t just something I woke up one day and decided to do. I know it’s a very teenage-ish thing to want to do, but I am considering it very seriously. Any opinions would be much appreciated.
I’m not a parent, but I think if you explain everything as you did here and emphasize that it’s not for-sure permanent they should maybe be okay with it? That’s how I would go about it at least. If you do legally change it, maybe you could keep [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] as a fourth name?
[name_f]Sally[/name_f] [name_f]Megan[/name_f] is so cute! While I do prefer [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], I understand why it could be incredibly annoying to have such a popular name. Funny thing is, I’m 17 and I’ve only met 2 girls named [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] and nobody named [name_f]Sara[/name_f] in my life. Weird.
Thanks, that’s a good idea. I think they’d be much more okay with a temporary name change, especially since I just got a tattoo which they weren’t thrilled about lol.
[name_f]Sadie[/name_f] is really cute. I like [name_f]Sally[/name_f] as well, but prefer [name_f]Sadie[/name_f], especially with [name_f]Megan[/name_f]. I agree with not legally changing it at this point.
My one concern with this is that “[name_f]SADIE[/name_f]!” or “[name_f]SALLY[/name_f]!” shouted across a quad would sound a lot like [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] and the name change would thus not solve your problem. Are there a high concentration of [name_f]Megan[/name_f]'s? Or maybe you could go by [name_f]Mae[/name_f], short for [name_f]Megan[/name_f]?
As a parent, if my son decided to change his name or go by a different one as an adult, I think it would be hard to adjust to. I don’t think I would be offended. I mean, maybe if he told me this in a really offensive way (like, “my name is stupid and so are you, you big stupid head!”) But you are just saying that while you think it is pretty, it is popular to the point of confusion in daily life. I don’t think that would hurt my feelings as a parent.
Thanks for the feedback. I’m not terribly worried about the similarity in sound, as I do want it to be similar-ish to avoid totally confusing my friends and family, and at least there would be a chance of hearing a difference, because anything would be better than having it be exactly the same. I think you’re right, it would be tough for my parents to adjust. Maybe I’ll consider just having people at my college, where it’s really a problem, call me by a new name.
Since [name_f]Sadie[/name_f] and [name_f]Sally[/name_f] are nicknames of [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], I wouldn’t even consider it a real change of name, especially if you aren’t planning to change it legally as of yet. You would just be choosing to go by a nickname in order to stand out a little from all the Sarahs you know. I don’t see why your parents would have a problem with that, unless they just happen to hate [name_f]Sadie[/name_f] and [name_f]Sally[/name_f].
I think just having a nickname for college is a great idea. College is a great place to try it out and it sounds like that is really the only place you have an issue with your name anyway. Maybe you’ll make it more permanent later or maybe you won’t find the need or maybe you find that [name_f]Sadie[/name_f] or [name_f]Sally[/name_f] feels more right than [name_f]Sara[/name_f]. Since it’s a common nickname for [name_f]Sara[/name_f] you don’t really ever have to change your legal name. You can cross that bridge if/when you get to it.
I don’t think you have to change your name in order to start going by a diminutive of your name - I don’t consider that to be ‘changing your name’. You wouldn’t even have to use the same name with everyone. Wouldn’t it be OK if you were [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] with your family and [name_f]Sadie[/name_f] to your new friends at college? I don’t know, maybe you don’t want the confusion, but plenty of people do it. My brother always goes by his surname amongst his friends (he also has a very common first name), but obviously we (his family) still call him by his first name.
I think yes, I would be upset if my child decided to actually change their name. Although I think it would be slightly irrational of me, it would probably hurt my feelings a little bit. Giving a name is such a personal thing that it would have to be a little disheartening. But if I named her [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] and she told me she wanted to go by [name_f]Lizzy[/name_f], I mean that’s not really the same thing. Parents should know the potential short forms of any name they give and have no right to get upset if their child decides to use them one day!
I’ve told my parents that I don’t like the name they gave me and that I will now be known by a diminutive of it, thank you. I did this back when I was a child and I don’t think they had any real problems adjusting to not using my full name. I have never considered changing it legally, though.
I changed my name. But my parents gave me a name that got teased all the time, and it had a “yooneek” spelling so I always had to spell it out. It also got pronounced wrong (there have been a small, small few who got it right) and I was always having to correct people. To make matters worse, I had a STUTTERING problem! [name_f]Imagine[/name_f] having to spend about 2 minutes each time you’re trying to tell someone how to pronounce your name, and then having to try and pronounce it for them… When you really can’t even pronounce your own name
My parents understood the trouble I was going through my entire life, and they didn’t get offended in the least when I changed it to a four letter name that a 1st grader can spell correctly. [name_u]Kiba[/name_u] isn’t my real name, it’s just a name I like that I go by on the Internet. My old name I prefer to keep private, but my new name is [name_u]Alex[/name_u]. It’s easy to sound out, it’s pronounced correctly if you know the English language, and I no longer have to correct people. The only time I had to correct someone was when they said “[name_m]Alec[/name_m]” but that was once out of the hundreds of people I meet. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though I don’t have my stuttering issue anymore, and if I still kept my old name, it would still be a hassle.
So my opinion on name changing is that it’s not bad at all and I don’t blame anyone who does. Plus as you have said, sometimes you just don’t feel like you ARE a [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], [name_f]Mary[/name_f], [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], [name_u]Lisa[/name_u], etc. Or in my case with it always being pronounced and spelled wrong.
[name_f]Sadie[/name_f] and [name_f]Sally[/name_f] are both nicknames for [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], so I’d just pick one you like and start using it. No need for a legal change.
I’ll be really honest, and say that my legal name is [name_f]Alyssa[/name_f] [name_f]Nicole[/name_f]. I never cared for it whatsoever it as a young child and always wanted to change it. [name_m]Just[/name_m] like with you, it never fit me. I never felt, nor thought I looked like, an “[name_f]Alyssa[/name_f]”. It didn’t fit my personality.
Fast forward to when I was a young teenager, around 13-14, and I began writing. My mother said that I needed a pen name, advising me to use [name_f]Zoey[/name_f] as it was a name that she was going to give me when she was pregnant with me.
A few years later, around 15, which I’m nearly 19 now, I had grown to love the name [name_f]Zoey[/name_f] so much and I felt that it fit ME so much better. I felt/feel like a “[name_f]Zoey[/name_f]”. (Which, after being on Nameberry for a while, I found the cuter and more unique spelling of [name_f]Zoie[/name_f] that I now use.) So I have decided to legally change my name to [name_f]Zoie[/name_f].
When I informed my mother however, she freaked. The story had always been told that my step-father named me [name_f]Alyssa[/name_f], and he’s perfectly okay with me renaming myself, and yet my mother isn’t. So, in efforts to ease tensions, I decided to legally change my name to [name_f]Zoie[/name_f] [name_f]Alyssa[/name_f] [name_f]Willow[/name_f]. ([name_f]Willow[/name_f] is a name that she has also picked out, it’s her favorite name that she’s also admitted that she wished she name me instead. I love it and it too fits my personality a lot more.)
I have yet to officially legally change it, but I will soon. And that’s my story. It’s a rough road, parent wise, but it’s worth it. I hope telling you this all helps.
I agree with all of this. I know where you’re coming from; as an 80’s-born [name_f]Amy[/name_f], I know how exasperating the popularity factor can be. I think going by a nickname with your friends is a great idea and there’s nothing wrong with that. Most people I know go by a short form of their name anyway, unless their name is so short that there are no diminutives. (Heck, some of my friends even called me Aims growing up.)
Please, please, though, think long and hard before you change it legally. I’m speaking for myself, of course, but I would be very hurt and angry if a child of mine changed a name that I put years of thought, consideration, and personal meaning into. It’s the main reason that, even though I’m not wild about my name and find it rather dull, I would never legally change it. For one thing, my family wouldn’t make the adjustment. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if I insisted on being called [name_f]Amaryllis[/name_f], for example, and legally changed it, I’d be [name_f]Amy[/name_f] for the rest of my life as soon as I walked through their door. Secondly and more importantly, I think it’s very much a matter of respect to your parents. The only exemptions to this in my opinion is if your parents named you something horrific that you simply cannot live with, like [name_m]Adolph[/name_m] or Osama.
Look at it this way: if you go by [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] with your family and [name_f]Sadie[/name_f] or [name_f]Sally[/name_f] with your friends, no harm done; your family probably wouldn’t even know about it. On the other hand, if you legally change it and try to coerce people who’ve known you your whole life into calling you [name_f]Sally[/name_f], many people might be confused (best case scenario) or quite upset.
To me it’s a path-of-least-resistance thing. Especially when there’s a possibility of your getting what you want without ruffling any of your loved ones’ feathers.
I want to change mine too. The thing is, you need to break it to them slowly. Start by asking if it would hurt their feelings. Then let them know you’re considering changing your name. Give them time go adjust to the idea. They’ll support you in the end.
