To Be Surprised?

It’s funny that so many people say that they want to wait to be surprised, because “there are so few surprises in life”. I feel the opposite! There are so many unexpected things that come with being pregnant, giving birth, and raising a human. You don’t know what their personality will be, what health conditions they might have, or any other good and bad things that will come you way during parenthood. Finding out the gender early won’t affect how I decorate the nursery or what clothes I’ll buy really, but it will give me some sense of knowledge, a known variable. Pregnancy is a difficult and mysterious process, I’ll take whatever insight I can get!

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I’ve encountered this with my pregnancies as well…. All the doctors and staff get so excited. I had to learn with my second that it’s even a surprise for them (minus the ultrasound tech) as well. I kept thinking they knew and were trying to drop hints in what they were saying but then nope. A doctor with my third even said, “I know what you’re having…. A baby!”

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So true! Definitely nothing wrong with knowing if that gives you peace of mind and seems best for your family!

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We also had this! All doctors, medical staff etc said they rarely encounter it.

Out of all of our peers I can only think of one other who waits to find out.

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When I was pregnant with our first child together I wanted it to be a surprise, but my husband preferred finding out. We had a blood test done, and at that point we decided my husband would find out and wouldn’t tell me. That didn’t work :sweat_smile: He was terrified of slipping up while talking to me about the baby. It lasted a week, then I just asked him to tell me because it was causing him so much stress :joy:

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I can definitely see that. Once you know it would be hard not to share with your partner!

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The gender reveal trend might also be motivating more to find out, I am tempted…but it might just be desire for a good cake. SO and I went for surprise for our kiddo, but discussed finding out for number two if it ever comes with the logic that we could experience both methods as well as pump up an older sibling.

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That’s a good point! Definitely something to consider if there’s another child to prepare.

I always thought I would want to find out but now that I am pregnant I don’t want to. [name_f]My[/name_f] boyfriend doesn’t want to find out and I’m cool to go along with that which is weird considering what a control freak I am but at the end of the day the baby’s gender is going to be whatever it is whether we find out or not and I would like the surprise after the labour.

I agree about the gender neutral products and clothes so that they can be passed down. [name_f]My[/name_f] sister-in-law (to be) bought a lot of boy/blue stuff for her first and now she’s having a girl and is regretting it because she’s having to buy lots of things all over again.

I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant with our first (and possibly only!), and we aren’t finding out the baby’s sex. We knew that we wouldn’t want to find out even before I got pregnant.

I want to hold out just a little longer before I have to deal with society pushing gendered stereotypes onto this baby - honestly, even though we’re a queer couple (not straight and not cis), I think I could easily be swept away with those assumptions - because they are so prevalent - and start placing expectations on the baby’s personality just based on their biological sex.

Not finding out until the birth has helped me to let go of those stereotypes and feel completely open to letting this kid grow up to whoever they want to be. Although I am curious, waiting is like an exercise in getting used to not knowing who my child is until I meet them and find out more and more about them as they grow older. (I had to deal with heavy parental expectations as a child and a teen, so this is something I might be extra sensitive about, to be honest.)

We’re happy to dress the baby in any colours / patterns so aren’t stressing out about clothes. We do like clothes that are gender neutral, but we’ve got some blues, pinks, trucks, and florals in this baby’s wardrobe as well. The clothes are mostly whatever we have been gifted or been able to buy second hand.

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We found out with both of ours at our anatomy scan. And tbh though I thought I would want to be team green I am so glad that we did. Beyond just the logistical planning stuff (we did get most of our big purchase like strollers, beds, carriers etc gender neutral anyway) but it gave me time to start to bond with my baby before they were born. It just made me feel closer to them. It also for me was just one less thing to think about, there’s so much unknown when you have a baby even now with all the ultrasounds and measurements and tests they run, that just to have one thing solidly (generally speaking) set in stone. I just love it, I love knowing who is growing in my belly.

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