[name]Both[/name] my husband and I have names that start with J and our daughter’s name starts with A. Now we are expecting again and I have a few J names on my list both for boys and girls, but a friend of mine pointed out that [name]Ainslea[/name] might feel left out when she is older and realizes that everyone in the family has a J name other than her. We are only planning on having 2 kids. Obviously we didn’t CHOOSE for both of us to have the same initial, but that’s how things work out. So my question is, how big a deal is it if we choose a J name for our second child? [name]Will[/name] [name]Ainslea[/name] even really notice, because she wouldn’t be calling us by our first names, we would be “Mom” and “Dad” right? Thoughts?
My best friend’s family had a dad named [name]John[/name], mother named Drita.
Her siblings names were [name]Joseph[/name], [name]John[/name] [name]Jr[/name]. and [name]Julie[/name] and she was the only non-J name. She loves her name! I imagine she feels unique.
I don’t think it really matters and you are possibly thinking too into it.
I honestly don’t think it’s a big deal. If you truly fall in love with a J name, then go for it.
In my opinion, i wouldn’t feel left out but kids today can be tough so even if she doesn’t feel bad about it, another kid might point i tout and make fun of her for it. I have seen something like this before. I have also seen where someone had named their first three children with 2 middle names and the last child with one so the older siblings always gave her a rough time. I would say if you can avoid a bad situation, avoid it.
This is a tough one because it can go either way. I have a friend and she and her sisters have a “V” name, and even though they all have the same letter, she hates it, she wishes she would have her name with a different letter than the rest of her family. On the other hand, I know a family who are all named with “S” except for the younger daughter. Often when the family introduces themselves, people are like "oh wow, all of your names start with “S”, and then they have to point out “except for my daughter” and the little girl always looks unhappy.
I kind of think it’s different when this comes up with parents’ names as opposed to siblings’ (although even then I think it can be OK if handled well). Like you said you didn’t get to pick your own name and I think if this ever comes up you can explain that. My husband and I also both have J names and it’s quite likely one of our kids will have a J name but not another. I mean you can also think of other similarities with your names: my husband’s name is timeless with mild bordering on “dad name”; my name was a 1980s explosion name. Regardless of first letter our kids’ names are going to be stylistically more similar to his than mine, and I’m not worried the kids are going to think I didn’t want them to be in a family with me : D. I have two cousins in this situation: one has the same initial as both parents and the other doesn’t: I don’t think it’s ever been an issue, and they were twins! I do think though that the twin with a non-matching initial had a name that was very meaningful for other reasons: that’s something you could think about. That way if she/he ever does feel left out you have a great story to make him/her feel included. I have stories like that for all of my non-J name options.
Having been in a similar position i can say from experience that it won’t effect her. In my family my mother, brother and sister all have the same starting letter for their names, i am different and my dad also has a different name starting letter.
It has never been something i think about, consider or analyze.
We all perfectly suit our names and i couldn’t care less that those 3 have the same strting letter.
Whats more important is choosing a name you love, and a name that seems to suit your baby, once you give birth of course! 
I don’t think it really matters much at all. 
There are 25 other letters to choose from and it sounds like you have some non-J names on your lists. If you were in love with a particular J name, I’d say go for it, but if there are others you like just as much, use one of them. Your daughter might not care at all, but if you don’t create the situation, it definitely won’t be able to bother her.
I don’t think it’s too huge a deal for most ‘themed’ names. (ie: all w/flower names, all the same # of letters, all starting with the same letter, all after presidents, etc.)
I don’t think it’s a big deal. [name]One[/name] of my cousins is named [name]Kim[/name], her husband is [name]Bart[/name] and their kids are [name]Cale[/name], [name]Connor[/name] and [name]Kennedy[/name] (not the same letter, but the same sound, obviously). None of the kids have ever asked why their dad doesn’t have the same letter/sound, or indicated that it would bother them if it was reversed.
It’s the same to me as if all but 1 person has 4 letters in their name, but 1 has more or less than the others. I know a [name]Stacey[/name] and her husband [name]Harold[/name]. Their kids are [name]Cole[/name], [name]Ella[/name] and [name]Grayson[/name] (called the full name 99% of the time). Mom and dad each have 6 and [name]Cole[/name] and [name]Ella[/name] each have 4. [name]Grayson[/name] is the odd one out, and I don’t think he’ll fully ever realize that or care if he does.
Another cousin and her husband ([name]Amanda[/name] and [name]Tommy[/name]) have [name]James[/name], [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Amelia[/name] “[name]Mia[/name]”. They definitely nixed [name]Mia[/name] having a ‘j’ name because they didn’t want jokes about the Duggar’s!!
I’d say pick a name you love, and don’t worry about the starting letter.
If you like a J name, go with it. My family all have E middle names except for me. I don’t care at all!
I was in the middle between two sisters with S first names and both of my parents with S names, when my younger sister was first born it did bother me. I felt like the odd one out (mind you, I was 9 so I was old enough to know there was a difference) If you really like a J name, go for it. But for me personally, I would avoid A or J names, just to avoid the situation.
Thanks for asking this question! I’ve been wondering the same thing, as I’ve been musing over names for a possible second child. [name]Both[/name] DH and I have names that start with a T, and our daughter’s starts with I. I’ve really been drawn to the name [name]Tess[/name] if we had a second daughter, but didn’t want [name]Ivy[/name] to feel left out. Good to know what people’s reactions are