Today I met a 16 month-old girl named Peishens. I was embarrassed because I had no idea what her name was when I saw it on paperwork, I assumed it was a family name being used as a first or a name from a culture I wasn’t familiar with. I thought maybe it was pronounced pie-SHENZ but I didn’t want to butcher it, so I introduced myself and politely asked her mother how to pronounce it before I said it aloud. Her mother looked at me like I was incredibly dumb, and very bluntly and rudely replied, “It’s [name]Patience[/name].” This woman was very well-spoken. I had read something she had written and it was grammatically correct and free of spelling errors, despite containing some elaborate speech, not to mention it actually contained the word “patient.” She simply chose to use a different spelling for fun, and then was angry with me for asking to clarify her daughter’s name. We also had a Kaeilla (think ‘[name]Kayla[/name]’). Kaeilla’s father told me, after her mother became annoyed and complained that one of my co-workers mispronounced her daughter’s name, that they couldn’t decide between using an I or E instead of Y so they did both and “we wanted it to be really different, we don’t like popular names, so we threw in an extra L for good measure.” I kid you not.
I can’t stand it when people butcher the spelling of well-established names, especially word-names, on purpose. I recognize that some names have had many accepted spellings for a long time, like [name]Caitlin[/name]/[name]Katelyn[/name]/[name]Caitlyn[/name], etc., and all the variations make sense phonetically. Accidents, accents, weird English spelling rules, learning disabilities, etc., can also be understood. I know someone whose mother spelled her name A-L-E-A-S-E because she had recently immigrated to the US and heard [name]Elise[/name] colloquially and thought it was beautiful, and she knew the word “lease.” The white sweetener you use in tea was “shooger” to me for the first six years of my life, until I realized that the word was written on the damn bag. This is how children learn to spell, by sounding out words and making connections, and that is understandable. However, naming your daughter Keighttlynn shows that you have enough of a grasp of the English language that you will exploit it for fun. When someone sees Peishens, or Payshenze, or Peighshonce, they don’t automatically think [name]Patience[/name], and I’m offended and tired of getting rude reactions from these parents. If you want to name your daughter [name]Holiday[/name] but that’s just not different enough for you, please, please, please don’t spell it Hallideigh and then be angry with someone for asking you to clarify.
Seen any crazy examples of this trend?
Had any parents give you some lip for making a mistake when saying or spelling their baby’s name?
Any other trends that are driving anyone bonkers?
I did have one mommy snap at me because I mistakenly assumed that her little [name]Logan[/name] was a boy. I had only a name on a page to go by, and [name]Logan[/name] is a mega-popular name for boys…honestly, how was I supposed to know? I’m with you on this. If parents choose a name that is typically used for the other gender, is spelled differently, or defies all rules of phonics, they need to go into it with their eyes open and be prepared to correct people. If it’s going to be a constant source of irritation for them (and for their child!), I think maybe they should reconsider.
I’ve come to this conclusion regarding situations like this one: I think these parents are rude because the spellings make them “seem” dumb so they try to turn it around and make the person who asks the question or makes an understandable mistake “feel” dumb in their place. Plus, it would probably have been the hundredth time someone has asked them this question about the name so they become fed-up with having to explain why they “look” like idiots. They’re not very good role models for their daughter called “Peishens”, are they?
I’m a substitute teacher, so I just have the rude parents’ rude kids snapping at me for mispronouncing their misspelled/made up names. sigh I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and tell myself they have just grown up thinking their name is perfectly normal, so they don’t understand why everyone says it wrong, but probably their parents are just as rude about it. The kids with ethnic names that I just butcher are almost always polite when they correct me.
I don’t understand the creative spellings at all. It’s not like people spell names at each other. And most of the time when names are written then last names get written down too. It’s not helping your child stand out it’s just causing trouble.
Ugh, I hate this too! It’s like if you know you picked a gender bending name or chose to spell a name differently, then you shouldn’t be flabbergasted as to why someone might think it’s a boy/girl or pronounce the name wrong. People need to seriously think about things in the long run, sure it might not bother you the first few times you have to correct people, but if you are going to become annoyed at the 50th, then you shouldn’t use the name.
Oh, I’m so with you! It a ridiculous trend and makes the parents seem illiterate and uneducated. And, unfortunately, a silly name reflects badly on the child, even though it’s not their fault.
First, I completely agree with you and everything that’s been said. This is one of my biggest pet peeves, it makes the parents look like idiots, and when the kids grow up, it kinda makes them look like idiot adults too, because you’re not quite sure if they chose that spelling to be different or their parents did. Especially teenagers.
It particularly irks me because they think they’re being so unique and original for their little prince/princess, and they’re not. They’re just being obstinate, and putting their kid at a disadvantage. I’m going through the process of obtaining a student loan for grad school right now and if I had to deal with trying to explain Peishens and spell it for every single person at the Department of Education I’d still be on the first phone call I had to make. Poor child!
But I think the mindset is that they’re naming a baby, or a little kid, and they don’t think about them as an adult. They don’t consider that their newborn will one day have to deal with student loans or a mortgage or job applications, and all the phone calling and paperwork that comes along with those and what a major freaking headache it is without the “unique” spelling of their name… much less with it!!
Although I would never name my child a name like that, it’s fine with me if they spell it however they want as long as they aren’t rude about it. Having grown up with a tough-to-pronounce last name, I’m used to correcting people or letting it slide. I’ve told some of the funnier pronunciations as faux-annoyed stories, but I would never be rude to someone because they couldn’t pronounce a name they’d never seen before.
The price for pushing the envelope is raised eyebrows, so if you want your name to be “new,” “unpopular,” or “unusual,” you HAVE to realize that means unfamiliarity for people and that they are going to mispronounce.
I don’t know why people think changing the spelling of a name makes it “unique.” The name Kaiella is always gonna be pronounced “[name]Kayla[/name]” now matter how you spell it. My idea of a unique name is something you don’t hear very often like [name]Caledon[/name] or [name]Kellan[/name].
Weirdly, I knew that was supposed to be “[name]Patience[/name]” at first glance. Not saying that it’s obvious (it’s totally not obvious and on second glance I probably would have second guessed myself and tried to say ‘pie-shins’ or something), I think it’s actually a statement about how little I’m surprised when parents stupidly misspell their kids’ names on purpose.
My name is [name]Kaitlin[/name], and yes, I have to spell it all the time. But it doesn’t bother me that I have a variant spelling of a popular name - which by the way, everyone constantly spells wrong, even people in my family, as either [name]Caitlin[/name] or [name]Kaitlyn[/name] - because it’s an accepted variation. Like [name]Catherine[/name] vs. [name]Kathryn[/name]. When people misspell names in ways that don’t even phonetically make sense (“Qathyrhynne” for [name]Kathryn[/name] as an example) that irks me. What I hate the most is when people take a WORD name and then purposely spell it wrong. It just looks illiterate and tasteless.
Same thing with the gender flipping. I don’t mind unisex names, I really don’t. But one of the pitfalls of unisex names is that there might be someone, someday, who mistakes your kid for the other gender so I think as a parent if you want to use a unisex name, you have to come to terms with that and be understanding.
Also, I find it really ironic that someone who named their daughter “[name]Patience[/name]” didn’t seem to have any of their own.
My thing is ok you admit you spelled it that way to be different, so clearly you wouldn’t expect the person to have seen the name before. The parents should be offended if you don’t mispronounce it… like it’s the 3rd Peishens you’ve talked to that day.
Same with gender-flipped names: if you chose a boy name so your daughter will be one of a kind (or so most parents seem to think), then you should be happy when people assume you have a boy because that means they would never expect it to be a girl’s name.
I never understood people giving their kids uncommon or kr8tive names then getting upset when people can’t spell/pronounce it. Wasn’t that the point of you picking it?
Yes, they are getting exactly what they wanted but they won’t admit it to themselves. That’s like putting your son in a pink dress and getting mad when people think he’s a girl. You chose to present him as a girl! When you give a girl a man’s name you are choosing to present her (on paper) as a male.
I like lots of androgynous names so I am choosing to present my kids (on paper) as ‘gender unknown’. It would be insane for me to be upset if people confuse my child’s gender from their name.
I think if you choose to spell your child’s name kre8tivly then you should expect to be constantly asked how to pronounce it, and if you find yourself getting irritated it is your own fault. Same with if you give your child a name that is typically given to the opposite gender - especially if a person is only seeing the name in print - it is ridiculous to get upset when a person assumes your [name]Logan[/name] is a boy, not a girl. Are people supposed to read minds? Have premonitions?
The most common reason I hear/read for people using the crazy spellings is that they want their child to be “unique” (and to me, this is especially odd because I kind of figured everyone was already unique. Apparently two Sophias are actually the same person simply because of their name, lol). I get this idea, really. It is a concern of mine to choose names for my future children that will not be shared by 5 other kids in their school/class. So if you don’t want your kid to be the 3rd [name]Sophia[/name], name her something other than [name]Sophia[/name]! And Not Sofeeya. Or Sohffea. Because guess what? Names are almost always spoken more than they are written. So on the playground [name]Sophia[/name], [name]Sofia[/name], and Sohffea will all still have the same name.
I recently met a baby named [name]Jonah[/name] wearing a green onsie. I assumed it was a little boy but when I said “he is adorable!” HER mum got mad at me and said “[name]Jonah[/name] is a girl! Can’t you see that? Everyone always think’s she’s a boy!” My thought were something like…
Your daughter is dressed in gender natural clothing.
At only 6 weeks old babies don’t look like a a boy or girl, they look like a baby!
Maybe it’s [name]Joanna[/name] and I misheard her (I checked she name is definitely [name]Jonah[/name])
YOU named your daughter [name]Jonah[/name] lady don’t get snippy with me!
Instead I smiled apppologised and asked why they chose the name [name]Jonah[/name]. She said they like to bend the rules am use boys names on girls and they like biblical names. Since she knows it’s a boys name I don’t get why she was so rude!
Peishens is horrific. If you give your child a word/virtue name, at least have the decency to spell it correctly. Spelling [name]Patience[/name] as “Peishens” makes you look illiterate. There’s no getting around that. What frustrates me about all of these “creative” spellings is that a) they don’t make the name more unusual, b) they usually don’t follow the rules of phonetics or standard English pronunciation, c) whether anyone wants to admit it or not, these children will be judged unfairly because of their names, and d) they’re just flat out tacky. Kaeilla pronounced “[name]Kayla[/name]?” Seriously? I know a precious little girl named [name]Jordan[/name] whose mother spelled her name Jhordynn. “Jh” is not a valid consonant combination in the English language.
I’ve also noticed an influx of girls named [name]Talon[/name], [name]Logan[/name] and [name]Mason[/name], which I don’t personally like, but I’m not annoyed by. AND couple of weeks ago I had year-old twins named [name]Mason[/name] and [name]Dylan[/name] - I was shocked when [name]Dylan[/name] was the girl, because I’ve met two other little girl Masons but never a girl [name]Dylan[/name], even though I know [name]Robin[/name] [name]Wright[/name]‘s daughter is a [name]Dylan[/name]. The twins’ mother was delightful and only laughed when I momentarily mixed them up, and said she’s guilty of the same thing. That is how parents should act when giving their children unusual/gender-bending/yooneekly-spelled names!
@jazz1509 - My younger sisters used to be mistaken for boys all the time, even with their feminine names, so much so that my mother would only dress them in pink and purple for the first year or so of their lives. Of course that did nothing to help, but I don’t ever recall my mother snapping or getting frustrated with a stranger when they mistook [name]Lacey[/name] or [name]Kaitlin[/name] for a boy. She always just laughed and said she didn’t get it, because no one mistook my older sister and me for boys even though our names have very gender-neutral nicknames that we were called as children. Maybe it was because they were totally bald while my older sister and I always had a full head of hair?
