Hey! You’re not alone. We originally wanted an age gap of about four years between kids, but now that our first’s first birthday is mere days away (!!!), we’re talking more seriously about the pros and cons of a second child closer in age.
I wonder if we’ll want to go back to the baby phase all over again if we wait until R is 3+ to think about another kid. Bedsharing, breastfeeding, and diapering will probably be well behind us by then (right?), so I can imagine not wanting the sleeplessness, the nursing x pumping, and packing a diaper bag before going anywhere to begin anew. Now, while all of that is normal, it doesn’t seem so crazy to double down, haha.
Another reason to have our second child sooner rather than later is unsentimental but logistically important: R’s [name_f]October[/name_f] birthday means he’ll start school a year later than some of his classmates, when’s he’s about to turn six. That’s five more years during which I’ll need to be with him during the day, and limited to working and finishing my education (both part-time) at nights. Extending that time-frame from five years to eight or nine by spacing our kids further apart seems impractical, currently. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t know if 6/7 years instead of 8/9 years will make so much of a difference, but especially because we even dream of a third kid, closer age gaps make more sense when it comes to minimizing my time away from my career.
I’m overthinking the season/month in which I’d like the baby to be born. I’d rather not go through a third or “fourth” trimester in the heat of summer, but if I got pregnant in [name_u]November[/name_u] and ended up with an [name_u]August[/name_u] due date, that would be ok. If we want to time things so the baby grows up with a birth month to himself/herself, we’ll try to avoid a [name_f]May[/name_f], [name_u]June[/name_u], or [name_f]October[/name_f] due date. We spend so much of the winter cozied up at home anyway, so wouldn’t it be nice to have a newborn in [name_u]December[/name_u], [name_u]January[/name_u], or [name_f]February[/name_f] (or would cabin fever be exacerbated)? I’m still breastfeeding, and still haven’t menstruated, so we’ll have to wait to see when my fertility returns, anyway. At the very earliest, we might ttc in [name_f]February[/name_f], [name_u]March[/name_u], or [name_f]April[/name_f]. If we hold off or nothing happens, we probably won’t try again until [name_u]November[/name_u]. Fingers crossed for everyone trying next year!
@northernlights, your thinking about hand-me-downs reminded me of a friend who was so bummed that her second daughter would be born two seasons off from her first daughter’s birthday. “Now those hand-me-downs are useless!” she thought, but her younger daughter has such a small build that by the time the hand-me-downs fit, they’re seasonally appropriate, as well!