Hello all, I’m so glad this thread had been created!
We’ll be trying for #2 in the spring. Originally, we.were thinking of a 3 or 4 year gap, but we hit a lot of bumps in trying to conceive our first, and the journey was much longer and more difficult than expected. [name_m]Long[/name_m] story short, we’re going to aim for closer to a 2 year gap. I’m a little anxious about that, but I’d love nothing more than to give [name_f]Jane[/name_f] a little brother or sister.
[name_f]Glad[/name_f] to be here, and to have some fellow mamas to share in the journey with!
@katinka - Great to know that weight loss wasn’t an issue! My cycle returned almost a year ago despite breastfeeding on demand, and while I’m still breastfeeding I don’t think it’s affecting my cycles. Still thinking about weaning before #2 though as she is obsessed and I’m not sure if I can keep doing it while pregnant (for my own sanity!). Also, I love that you’re going into midwifery. After having [name_f]Rosie[/name_f] I thought to myself, “Being a midwife must be one of the most rewarding jobs [name_u]EVER[/name_u].” I could never do it myself (I’m too squeamish about blood etc) but it just seems like an amazing thing to do!
@mill1020 - So much to think about! [name_m]How[/name_m] old is the child you’re thinking about adopting? [name_f]Do[/name_f] your other children know you’re thinking about adding another child to the family? It sounds like it would be a wonderful opportunity for all involved (though I’m a bit of an emotional decision-maker too!).
@mamacat - I understand the house thing! That was at the top of our “to-do” list before having Rosie. We didn’t end up buying before she was born. We had an offer accepted when she was around 3 months but it ultimately fell through, and we only just purchased our house this past June (she was 16 months). I see you’re in Australia too so I know how miserable the market is at the moment!! I think it would definitely be good to get the house before baby if you’re going to need to fix it up a bit – one of my top priorities for a house was to buy one that was in a pretty much finished condition because I didn’t see how we were going to have any time or energy for renovations with a baby. Good luck with whatever you decide!
[name_f]Welcome[/name_f] to those who are new to the thread!
I’ve had several moments this week where I felt more “baby feverish.” My daughter has had a few weeks of being a bit miserable (sick, and I think maybe also a mental leap) and just came out of it and is back to her happy self. But now she’s doing so many big girl things like trying to put her own clothes on and playing independently and speaking in full sentences (yesterday, clear as day: “[name_f]Jacaranda[/name_f] tree! MORE jacaranda tree! 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10!”) and it made me miss those tiny baby cuddles so much!
Apparently on Friday DH asked her, “[name_f]Do[/name_f] you want a baby brother or sister?” and instead of her usual answer (“NO!”) she said “[name_u]Baby[/name_u] sister.” Then he explained things big sisters could do (kiss, cuddle, fetch nappies, help with bath) and she seemed pretty agreeable to all of it. I said thank goodness you want a sister because we have no names for boys!!
For those who already have one, anything you’re looking forward to or nervous about for #2?
I’m hoping to join this thread, but our TTC date is still a little up in the air.
Our wedding date is set for [name_u]July[/name_u] 7th, 2018, and while we’d love to TTC immediately after that, it’s kind of dependent on our financial situation after that point.
I’m not entirely sure where to begin with TTC or how to prepare for it, to be honest. It’s a totally new thing for me, haha.
@lirio, He’s school-age, but I don’t even know what the right thing is in terms of whether to ask him if he wants to be adopted by us. G-Gma is almost certainly the person he is most attached to in the whole world, but because of her limitations (and obviously because she loves him so much and wants to make sure he has a safety net for someday when she’s no longer with us) she seems very intent on finding him a new family. I feel kind of guilty thinking about “taking him away” from that bond. We wouldn’t be taking him away, though–I think we are both expecting that he/we would probably have visits with her often, since she lives pretty darn close to us and still wants to be involved in his life. I’m sure this would feel like a huge loss and major upheaval, however nice it might be to have two parents and lots of new sibs. I just have no idea whether it’s right to give him a “choice” if this is what his current parent thinks he needs, you know?
@northernlights, not to give away too much about his personal details, he’s young school-age. I’ve broached it a tiny bit with our big kids, but DH doesn’t want to talk about this specific child with them yet in case things don’t work out. From the little I’ve said, they do seem somewhat open (except that my daughter is very torn due to wanting a sister SO much and not necessarily another brother!). I honestly have no idea what to say, and when. Probably if/when we make the big decision to begin a homestudy we will dive into these talks, but honestly I’m still fuzzy on the order of things adoption-related.
@katinka, thank you for the well wishes! I’m hoping my husband does come around to a definite yes.
[name_m]Just[/name_m] popping my head in to say hello
I’m thinking I’ll try for number 2 around [name_f]October[/name_f] next year. While trying sooner is tempting, especially when I take into account the difficulty I had getting [name_f]Nola[/name_f], I’ll have a lot on my plate next year with my return to work, the last year of my Masters, and [name_f]Nola[/name_f]. I just can’t add morning sickness into that mix! Plus [name_f]Nola[/name_f] still wakes countless times a night and I don’t have my period back yet anyway. And I want to continue breastfeeding as close to her second birthday as possible, but don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding while pregnant after my miscarriages. So lots of reasons to wait.
@lilhan, welcome. I really like your girl names list. [name_f]Rose[/name_f] would be especially nice with sister [name_f]Nola[/name_f]. Still pining for a [name_f]Rose[/name_f] of my own someday, though it might be the name that got away!
@mil1020 thank you! I love your names too, particularly [name_f]Elise[/name_f].
Once again my naming choices will be limited to what my husband agrees to, and he won’t start that discussion until I’m pregnant
I’m really hoping I won’t be in the ttc 2018 group, so I just popped in to say
@thishollywoodgirl, the advice I didn’t expect was to start taking prenatals before ttc. I also got an app to help track my periods. not knowing what kind of birth control you’re on or if your a big planner I don’t really know what else to add.
@mill - That is a tricky situation! It sounds like your family would be wonderful for him but it would definitely be an adjustment. It’s great that your children are open to the idea! I’d love to hear more about the adoption process if you decide to go through with it, I’ve been interested but it definitely seems complicated.
@thishollywoodgirl - Preparing to TTC is a little different for everyone I think. I prepared by taking prenatals and researching where I wanted to give birth (ended up choosing a birth centre within a hospital). This was good because it was a difficult place to get into and I had to tell the doctor that was where I wanted to give birth at my first appointment in order to get in. I also ended up using a fertility app and ovulation tests around month 3 and spent a lot of time watching TTC and pregnancy vlogs on YouTube.
@mill1020 Obviously you’re the one who knows the situation and everyone involved, so all I can do is suggest what I think I would think about if I was in your shoes. From what you say it sounds like his current parent is elderly (sorry if I’ve misunderstood), and is worried about what will happen to this little boy when she is no longer around. If that’s the case, then he is sadly going to experience loss and upheaval at some point whatever you do. The question seems to be not so much how you avoid upheaval in his life, as how you can all best prepare for and help him through it when it inevitably comes. A transition period where he lives with you, getting used to his new family, while still seeing his current parent regularly without having to make a complete and sudden break sounds like a very positive and healthy way of doing it, if you can make it work without him feeling abandoned in any way.
Again, I don’t know this little boy at all, but thinking back to my own childhood I feel like this is the kind of thing I would have liked to be consulted about, and perhaps felt upset or excluded or resentful if I wasn’t consulted. You don’t necessarily have to leave the final decision up to him (although if he has very strong feelings about it either way, that is something to take into account) but at least make him feel part of the process and that he has a voice. At a time when he might be feeling a bit lost/insecure anyway, involving him and making him feel important and listened to seems like it can only be a good idea. For all of us, change is much scarier when we don’t have the power to accept or reject it, and the last thing you want is for him to feel powerless in his own life. Good luck, and I hope it all works out. It really is an amazing thing you’re considering.
@lirio, thank you so much for your thoughts. Yes, she you’re correct that she’s elderly; it’s pretty remarkable how well she has done to take care of him for so long (and somewhat interesting to me that she was able to adopt him at the age she was when he first went into kinship care or however exactly it went). You are right, he needs to be involved in these decision(s) as much as possible. Feelings of abandonment are very traumatic and we do have to be very careful to make sure he has a voice and feels heard. It’s really challenging to find stories of adoptions in situations similar to this particular situation, but I continue to search for a “template” to follow for doing something like the transition you’re describing–he’d probably live with us and see G-Gma once a day for awhile or something like that. Maybe she could still pick him up after school for awhile or something. Anyway, thanks again for speaking up & giving me a sounding board here.
Thank you both!
I will definitely have to try out an app to track my periods though, and the prenatals before TTC - we wont be trying until [name_u]July[/name_u] or later of next year but it’s good to have an idea of what to do.
As for birthing options, I think S/O and I are likely going to use our local hospital - it recently opened a new birthing centre though, [name_m]SIL[/name_m] used it last year and she seemed to have a good experience with it.
We plan on TTC in 2018, our 4th and last child. Pregnancy doesn’t come easily to me. It took me four years of trying naturally, three miscarriages and 4 rounds of ivf until we had our son [name_m]Walter[/name_m] who is now 7-years-old and it was two years on the list for fostering-to-adopt until in Nov. 2017 Joly and [name_m]Mac[/name_m] came home. I’m going on 35 now and feel like I’m now mentally prepared for trying to get pregnant one last time. I think that at least I won’t have the pressure, fear and anxiety that I did before [name_u]Wally[/name_u] because now we have 3 healthy and beautiful children.
[name_m]Hi[/name_m] girls! It feels strangely official to write this out, but we are tentatively planning to TTC #2 in 2018. Ideally we’d like a two year age gap and I would love another spring baby. We have never had any problems conceiving -I’ve been pregnant four times- but I had three miscarriages before our daughter was born. I’m 24 years old, married and work as a biochemist. We live in Scandinavia
I definitely don’t feel pushed, which I’m thankful for. However, I feel like I do fluctuate a lot on the topic. Some weeks I feel like we could happily go for it reasonably soon, other times the thought totally overwhelms me. So I think a year or two will do me good. Definitely don’t want to rush through our newlywed years trying to get to “the next thing”.
I’m 99.9% sure I will feel much better about babies once we sort out the house. I really want our own space and to be settled before kiddies. So mostly I feel ttc depends on how soon we manage to tick that box.
Husband and I are going to start TTC [name_u]January[/name_u] 2018 (3 months), but I can’t wait. We got married this [name_u]July[/name_u] and it’ll be our first. I came of BCP in [name_f]September[/name_f] and haven’t gotten AF yet so I am getting a bit frustrated as I was hoping to have a normal cycle and track for a little bit before we tried. I have an OBGYN appointment in Nov. and will ask her about prenatals…not trying to wish away the next 3 months but I am super excited to start TTC. Anyone else?
I hope it’s okay if I join in. My Hubby and I just agreed that we are officially TTC in [name_u]March[/name_u] 2018. We just bought a house in [name_u]August[/name_u]. We have been married since 2014 which is when I started having baby fever. I’ve taken a huge break from name’s and now that we have an official date I’m back to be obsessed.
@mommag0708: We’re in the same boat! So ready for 2018. We want to start in [name_u]January[/name_u] too. I finished my last pack of BC in [name_f]September[/name_f] and started taking prenatals already. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] AF shows up soon. Currently waiting for AF myself, as this will be my first AF off the BC.
Is anyone else here have pcos and trying? I’m super nervous and kind of thinking of getting an ovulation kit to see if I’m even ovulating way before [name_u]March[/name_u].
