Ttc 2018

Is it too early to start this thread? It’s only like three months until 2018… I figure there are probably a few people out there just waiting anxiously, right? I know the 2017 thread got started in [name_u]December[/name_u] of 2016, because I started posting there and then I got pregnant like a week later (literally on the first cycle we were TTW), so then I left… I’ve also been posting in the Pre-TTC thread, but some of the people there are waiting a lot longer and I don’t want to bum them out.

I’m like 99% sure we’re going to TTC #2 starting in [name_u]March[/name_u], but it might get moved up. We’re kind of just TTW right now, because my cycle still hasn’t come back since my daughter was born last [name_f]September[/name_f]. Yay breastfeeding. We probably should be more careful about using protection, because I know it is possible to get pregnant the very first time you ovulate, but right now I feel like that is never going to happen anyway, because we are no where near being done breastfeeding yet :(. Getting pregnant on the first cycle doesn’t seem very likely, and it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if we got pregnant earlier than we were planning. The only real bummer would be that I’m still working on losing my stupid baby weight from the first time around, but I am working on it! So anyway, we’re just kind of going with it until my cycle comes back, and then we’ll figure our plan out haha.

I’ve been flipping between being kind of baby hungry and wanting to try for #2 just because we don’t want them super spread out. The closest I would want them would be two years, and right now I’m thinking more 2.5-3. If we start TTC in [name_u]March[/name_u] and get pregnant right away (I got pregnant the very first cycle we were kind of thinking about it last time!) then it’d be a little less than 2.5. But, then I started thinking about trying in [name_u]January[/name_u], because what if I had a boy this time and he was born in [name_f]October[/name_f] and I named him [name_m]Casper[/name_m]?!?!? how cute would that be for a halloween baby!?!? Haha, I’m crazy, it’s fine. We’re definitely not officially trying until [name_u]January[/name_u], because we’re going on a big trip in [name_u]December[/name_u] that I would like to not be pregnant for. But other than that, nothing is really set in stone.

So anyway. Hopefully I’m not the only one who is excited for 2018 even though it’s still three months away!

We will also be TTC #2, probably starting early in the year. We’re aiming for a roughly 3-year age gap and we were initially planning on starting in [name_u]January[/name_u] but I think we might hold off for a few months more so that my daughter can be just that little bit older and hopefully understand more what’s going on. She’s still very clingy and a total boobaholic so I’m worried she’s not going to want to share me with anyone! She loves babies though and I know she’ll love being a big sister and having someone to play with at home.

I’m actually not at a baby fever stage right now – I’m still waiting for that longing feeling that I had before TTC #1 – but we’re in a great place to TTC now, and other than DD being quite dependent I’m feeling ready.

I was actually thinking a [name_f]February[/name_f] baby might be nice. Not too close to DD’s birthday but close enough that the seasons will be right for the baby to wear her boxes and boxes of hand-me-downs!

Hey! You’re not alone. We originally wanted an age gap of about four years between kids, but now that our first’s first birthday is mere days away (!!!), we’re talking more seriously about the pros and cons of a second child closer in age.

I wonder if we’ll want to go back to the baby phase all over again if we wait until R is 3+ to think about another kid. Bedsharing, breastfeeding, and diapering will probably be well behind us by then (right?), so I can imagine not wanting the sleeplessness, the nursing x pumping, and packing a diaper bag before going anywhere to begin anew. Now, while all of that is normal, it doesn’t seem so crazy to double down, haha.

Another reason to have our second child sooner rather than later is unsentimental but logistically important: R’s [name_f]October[/name_f] birthday means he’ll start school a year later than some of his classmates, when’s he’s about to turn six. That’s five more years during which I’ll need to be with him during the day, and limited to working and finishing my education (both part-time) at nights. Extending that time-frame from five years to eight or nine by spacing our kids further apart seems impractical, currently. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t know if 6/7 years instead of 8/9 years will make so much of a difference, but especially because we even dream of a third kid, closer age gaps make more sense when it comes to minimizing my time away from my career.

I’m overthinking the season/month in which I’d like the baby to be born. I’d rather not go through a third or “fourth” trimester in the heat of summer, but if I got pregnant in [name_u]November[/name_u] and ended up with an [name_u]August[/name_u] due date, that would be ok. If we want to time things so the baby grows up with a birth month to himself/herself, we’ll try to avoid a [name_f]May[/name_f], [name_u]June[/name_u], or [name_f]October[/name_f] due date. We spend so much of the winter cozied up at home anyway, so wouldn’t it be nice to have a newborn in [name_u]December[/name_u], [name_u]January[/name_u], or [name_f]February[/name_f] (or would cabin fever be exacerbated)? I’m still breastfeeding, and still haven’t menstruated, so we’ll have to wait to see when my fertility returns, anyway. At the very earliest, we might ttc in [name_f]February[/name_f], [name_u]March[/name_u], or [name_f]April[/name_f]. If we hold off or nothing happens, we probably won’t try again until [name_u]November[/name_u]. Fingers crossed for everyone trying next year!

@northernlights, your thinking about hand-me-downs reminded me of a friend who was so bummed that her second daughter would be born two seasons off from her first daughter’s birthday. “Now those hand-me-downs are useless!” she thought, but her younger daughter has such a small build that by the time the hand-me-downs fit, they’re seasonally appropriate, as well!

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all,
Kind of hoping to join this thread. We’re actually looking into adoption, too (long story). If DH is on board and we TTC or take the plunge into adoption, it probably won’t be until [name_u]June[/name_u]-[name_u]August[/name_u]-ish because we are going to a wedding in [name_f]India[/name_f] in [name_u]March[/name_u]. I honestly think it’s kind of unlikely that we will go for another pregnancy because I had so many issues w/ my last two pregnancies, but we shall see.

Wish us luck with these major decisions!

@shalexis, you are right to think about it in terms of pros and cons–lots to think about. On one hand, it’s extra exhausting when they’re very young to have them close in age. On the other hand, they do seem to have a special bond (at least, mine do). My oldest two are actually in the same grade, just started junior high this fall, and I don’t have to worry as much because they walk together to the bus stop (which is actually a city bus; we don’t have school buses in our district anymore). [name_m]Plenty[/name_m] of fighting, but plenty of playing together, too. With a large gap, like between our third and fourth kids, there is more of a nurturing, “little buddy” thing going on, and that can be really neat, too.

@northernlights, it’s tough to know when the best time is for a sibling. The late twos/early threes can still be very dicey and their needs (for independence, but also for closeness) can still be pretty high. I’ve heard people say that three years is most ideal, developmentally. No matter what you decide, it will probably all be fine, though.

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all! I can’t believe I’m posting here, but it looks like we’ll be TTC our first soon… very nervous and can’t believe it could soon be happening!

We’re waiting to start TTC until maybe [name_u]November[/name_u] of this year (does that still count??). We have a big trip coming up at the end of [name_f]October[/name_f]/early [name_u]November[/name_u] and it coincides with my 27th birthday. My husband just turned 30 yesterday, and we always thought this would be a good point to start trying. All three of my husband’s siblings have young babies so there are lots of little kids on his side.

We also have 2 nephews and a niece that all have [name_u]July[/name_u] birthdays, and so maybe it’s silly, but I really want to avoid a [name_u]July[/name_u] due date. I wouldn’t mind a Fall/[name_u]Winter[/name_u] birthday though.

While this will be #1 for us, it’s interesting to read everyone’s thoughts on ideal age gaps… I suppose once you start on the journey of having kids it’s something to think about. But I’d say at this point, I’m most nervous about conceiving… since it’s our first time trying, I just hope everything goes well! Best of luck to us all!

Hey everyone!

So excited to be part of this thread now. [name_m]New[/name_m] years can’t come soon enough! I’ve had serious baby fever for the last couple years but just recently got married earlier this year and we finally agreed that [name_u]January[/name_u] '18 would be a great time to start trying. I’ll be 26 early next year and DH will be 27 this month. We will be TTC our first so that’s exciting and so much unknown too. We actually want kids closer in age as well, especially since we would like 3-4 children. I’m 5 years older than my sister and growing up we were like cats and dogs, yet my DH is 4.5 years younger than his brother and they’ve always been super close and get along great so idk that age gaps have too much influence but still don’t want to wait too long.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] you all have names picked out already? Purchase any baby things yet?

Wishing all of us the best of luck!

[name_m]How[/name_m] great, something more specific for us!

My SO and I have agreed on casually beginning to try for another baby starting in [name_u]March[/name_u] 2018. I’ll be casually ditching the birth control pills late [name_u]January[/name_u] or early [name_f]February[/name_f] in order to start prepping my body. We want a 2 year age gap between [name_f]Eleni[/name_f] and a new baby in order to get her potty trained in time, that’s really important as when I welcomed [name_f]Eleni[/name_f] I was still struggling with [name_f]Ziva[/name_f] on that and it was basically a nightmare!

Beginning of 2018 also gives us enough time to finish fixing the house we bought just last week (yay!!!), she has more room for our large family and a nice big yard with these beautiful trees. I am completely smitten! We start working on her in a couple of weeks so hopefully we’ll be living in the new house by the time baby comes. I’ll also have to go through the grueling process of getting my own house nice and fixed so I can sell it. Kind of breaks my heart at the same time letting the old girl go… But oh well, c’est la vie! :slight_smile: I’m looking forward to reading about your own journeys!

House stuff is so fun and so stressful at the same time! We bought our house a few years ago, and it’s fine, but part of me would really like to move before we have another baby. That’s not likely to happen if we do TTC early next year, so I’ll keep dreaming I guess. My current home is fine for what we need right now, but it’s definitely not our forever home. It’s tiny (like 800 sq feet of livable space, plus a tiny disgusting spidery basement haha), over a hundred years old, and has a really weird layout that I’m getting more and more annoyed with as my baby gets more mobile and is into everything. Basically, the deal breaker is that the kitchen is on the opposite side of the house from the family room, so I can’t cook or clean in there unless I bring my baby or leave her on the opposite side of the house. It’s hard to clean with her in there, and I don’t want to leave her unsupervised for too long, so basically I only clean when my husband is home, which is also annoying because I’d like to spend time with him. I have this dream of having a house with an open living room/kitchen area, so she can play and I can see her. Also, this is silly, but I REALLY want to have a kitchen with a sink in the island, so I can face the living room and do dishes at the same time. Plus it’s a farmhouse sink, so I can also bathe baby #2 there (my family loves to bathe babies in the sink, but I never could with this baby at our house!!). Most of my cleaning problems are probably just due to my own laziness and messiness, but I just feel like I would keep things way cleaner in a different house! Anyway. None of that is going to happen unless we build a house with the layout that I want, and I don’t think we will be doing that for another few years, so I need to stop dreaming and figure out what we’re going to do in our current home if we have another baby. Maybe by the time we’re ready for #3 haha.

I’d love to have my first potty trained before #2 comes, but I’m not sure how likely that is. We’re not even thinking about that yet haha.

I have names sort of picked out, but I probably won’t get more serious about them until we’re officially TTC, and then start really getting into it when I’m pregnant. I have a few girl names that are pretty firm, but I’m currently gutting my boy list and starting over. My first baby is named [name_u]Juniper[/name_u], and we pretty much had her name picked out before I got pregnant, so it’ll be interesting this time around.

I’m not super feeling it yet either. I do get little twinges of baby hunger every now and then, but right now I’m still breastfeeding my first, so even though she’s rapidly turning into a toddler, I think I’m a little in denial? We’re sort of in a better place to TTC this time around. My husband is finishing his [name_m]Bachelor[/name_m]'s degree this semester, and will likely have his master’s done before #2 get here unless we get pregnant sooner than we’re planning right now. We have more loan debt than I’d like, but we both just got pretty good new jobs, and he’s getting a stipend because his dad let him use a year of his GI bill for his Master’s, so between those three incomes we’re hoping to pay the debt off pretty aggressively and hopefully pay it all off by the end of next year. I’m a little worried about insurance stuff. Right now my baby and I are just on a temporary plan, we can enroll with my husband’s job next month, but I have no idea what the coverage is like, so I’m hoping it won’t be too bad for #2. I had really good insurance for #1, but still ended up having all of these issues with my anesthesiologist’s bill, and I’m not even 100% sure that everything with the hospital is paid off yet because they kept having issues communicating with my insurance, but I haven’t received any bills so I’m just calling it good for now.

I’d really like to avoid having an end of summer baby again too. I got SOO big at the end last time, and I’m really hoping to gain less weight next time around, and I feel like the heat made me so sluggish and didn’t help anything. Now that I’m thinking about it, I was still walking a ton, but I was retaining water really bad. I don’t know. I’m just thinking I’d rather not be huge next summer, our house still won’t have AC haha. Other than that, I’m not really picky about the month.

Good luck! That sounds very stressful to be deciding!

I was super nervous about having issues conceiving the first time, because I had an IUD and had read all these things about having difficulties… I did TONS of research into things, and ended up getting pregnant literally the first cycle we were even thinking about it. So I’m probably going to be super nervous when it doesn’t happen as fast the second time! I have book recommendations and things, if you’re interested!

Yay, definitely not too early to start this thread! Looking forward to sharing everyone’s journeys over the next year.

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all, just dropping by to say hello even though we won’t be trying for at least another 8-9 months. My baby boy is only 3 months old at the moment so I’m not remotely broody yet (!) but I’d like a similar age gap between him and our third and final baby as we have between our two: roughly 2 years. For us, it’s worked out really nicely.

I’m still feeding [name_u]Kit[/name_u] around the clock (zzzzz) and if last time is anything to go by, my fertility won’t return until that reduces dramatically. I tend to lose an awful lot of weight breastfeeding too, which doesn’t help on the baby-making front.

Ideally, I’d conceive around the time of K’s first birthday, for a spring baby. Like @lirio, I’d rather not have a late summer baby because of the way the school years work here in the UK; I already worry about how my little [name_u]June[/name_u]-born boy will get on. But we wouldn’t selectively TTC only certain months - que sera sera and all that!

I’ve got a ton of name ideas, as ever (@lailanotlilah - I especially love your style! [name_f]Anouk[/name_f]/[name_f]Anoushka[/name_f] is high on my list too!) I’m sad that I’ll never get to use all of my favourites, but realistically we don’t have the space or the finances for any more than 3 (already pushing it, really!) Maybe I’ll have to give the next one 40 middle names to get them all out of my system! Our (well, my) boy’s name for next time is pretty much set in stone, but I always find it harder to settle for girls. We shall see…

Super jealous of all of you ladies with house projects! I’d love our own home to do up (or not!) but sadly young children and me not working for the time being has set that side of things back quite a bit. But I’d like to move out of our flat to somewhere with a bit of outside space before the kids are too much older, and ideally before adding another baby into the mix.

I’m also training to be a Breastfeeding Peer Supporter at the moment, so I’d like to qualify and start doing some voluntary work experience here and there before being out of action with a newborn again! My dream is to go back to university and train as a midwife once my children are all at school, which is another reason why I don’t want to leave it tooo long before trying for #3. I’m 24 now, so if I had my final baby in the next couple of years, they’d all be in school by the time I turn 30 and I could really focus on the career I never managed to have after falling pregnant while still at uni!

Wishing you all the very best of luck :slight_smile:

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] Everyone,

I want to join you all but nothing for us is set in stone. We know we want a third (in all honesty, we have two boys and would love a little girl), and we know we don’t want a big age gap (our boys are 18 months apart), but there are a few issues to deal with first. We are hoping to buy a house early next year and I’m still carrying baby weight I would like to drop (at least some if not all of it). If things go to plan, this would mean trying for #3 next year (I originally thought this year but it’s not looking likely).

So hopefully 2018. I have baby fever already. I bought the future baby a blanket I saw in hopes it would motivate me to lose weight. So we’ll see if it works.

In answer to the naming question, the baby will be either [name_m]Declan[/name_m] or [name_f]Natalie[/name_f]. We had some difficulty naming #2 so we have had the name talk for #3 several times already!

I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you!

@seedsandstones - Sounds like the earlier timeline will work out well for you. It’s so easy to overthink things, isn’t it? When TTC last time I told myself no way would I have a baby around [name_u]Christmas[/name_u], but when the time came I couldn’t bring myself to take a month off and of course she ended up being due a week after [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] (luckily took her time to come out, but still!). Good to know about those hand-me-downs, maybe our hand-me-downs could work out even if timing doesn’t!

@mill1020 - [name_m]How[/name_m] exciting! You’ll have to keep us updated about what you decide. Wishing you luck. Would you be looking into domestic or international adoption?

@ccmrath - TTC #1 is such an adventure! I was nervous too, and not going to lie, when I got that positive I had this moment of “What did I do?” but it quickly passed. It’s very exciting and nervewracking at the same time.

@bedhead - We don’t have names picked out yet, it’s making me nervous! I know there’s time to figure something out but we seem to talk circles around names. We were pretty set on [name_f]Ro[/name_f]'s name from day one. For #2, our top girl name that we agree on at the moment is probably [name_f]Cecelia[/name_f] (but I’d prefer [name_f]Cecily[/name_f] or [name_f]Coraline[/name_f]); for a boy, I have no idea. My top would probably be [name_m]Theodore[/name_m], his is [name_m]Atticus[/name_m]. But neither of us are in love with any boy names and we have a horrible time agreeing on anything. What about you?

@shalexis - Sounds like you’re in a good place to TTC! It’s nice to hear that someone else isn’t “feeling it” so much too. I have bursts of baby fever now and then but it’s not an all the time thing like it was before TTC #1. Running around after a toddler certainly doesn’t give you energy to brood about #2!

@lirio - That is a lot to think about! Sounds like that delivery service would be a good option for you.

@katinka - The weight loss while breastfeeding thing is one of my worries! I’m still feeding [name_f]Ro[/name_f] and definitely under pre-pregnancy weight (and I was already somewhat slim) so I’ve actually started trying to gain weight back in preparation for TTC. What was your experience with conceiving your second? Did you feel like breastfeeding/weight loss made it more difficult?

@seedsandstones: I used to drive myself nuts thinking about time lines and ideal months and what not but now I don’t care at all and just getting pregnant would be great. That’s so good you have all those hand me downs.

@mill1020: Good luck on your decision!

@ccmrath: We’ll be TTC our first too and I’ve been thinking about this for so long I feel like it will all be so surreal whenever I get that BFP!

@shalexis: I’m actually on the opposite end with full on baby craze lol.

@lirio: [name_f]Hope[/name_f] you all can find what works best for you!

@katinka: I’m actually hoping to breastfeed, was it difficult for you?

@northernlights: Well you’ve still got some time! I’m really hoping for that moment when I see them and the name just “feels right”. I have like top 2/3 names for boys that I’ll just wait and see but I’m dead set on a girls name. Unless of course it doesn’t “feel right” or whatever. DH never has an opinion on any name, one minute he thinks he likes a name and the next minute he thinks it’s weird or ugly. So he pretty much lets me handle the naming situation but luckily he’s ok with all my top contenders so all is good.

I was suuuuper baby crazy when I was getting ready to TTC #1. Like, to the point that I ended up moving our plans up like 9 months. First we weren’t going to TTC until fall of the next year, then I was thinking [name_u]March[/name_u], then I decided I’d better go off birth control so I was for sure ready, then we were lazy about protection after that and we figured we’d just TTW and then TTC at the start of the next year, and then I ended up getting pregnant the first cycle of TTW in [name_u]December[/name_u]. It didn’t help that like a million people around me were pregnant or had new babies, and my sister was TTC. This time around I still know a million people with babies and tons of pregnant ladies, but I’m still breastfeeding my first and adjusting to her walking and lots of crazy stuff, so I’m a lot less anxious about it. I get twinges of it every once in a while, and I think once [name_u]December[/name_u] has passed I will be a lot more on board. It would really help if I could lose the rest of my baby weight, I’m kind of dreading getting pregnant at my current weight and then gaining a ton again!

@shalexis: Lol that definitely makes sense, it’s my first and already stopped BC (which I’d only been on for a few months) now for [name_u]January[/name_u]. Why does it seem as if everyone and their mother is pregnant when you’re waiting to TTC? I’m wanting to lose 5-10lbs. before the new year too as my BC made me gain a few lbs.

@northernlights I don’t think the weight loss was a huge issue in terms of TTC as my cycle did start back up when J was 7-8 months, even though I was much lighter than pre-pregnancy (and I’m slim anyway). But breastfeeding was great birth control for me - even once my cycle returned, it was super-short and I wouldn’t have been able to conceive successfully. I ended up weaning J onto formula at 10 months, which I regret now but at the time I was just so frustrated and baby-hungry :frowning: I really want to take everything as it comes this time and not obsess about age gaps or secondary infertility or anything like that!! I’m a natural worrier and always looking forward rather than fully enjoying what I already have, something I’m really trying to work on.

@bedhead That’s so great! [name_m]Feel[/name_m] free to ask me anything and everything that springs to mind about BF and I’ll try to help out, or at least point you somewhere that can!

I’ve been very lucky in that both of my babies have been born at term with no physiological problems (e.g. tongue tie) that can affect breastfeeding, and both took to it really well. That’s not to say it’s been plain sailing - I’ve had oversupply and fast let-down and mastitis and all manner of other weird and wonderful issues - but it really has been so worth it for me. Almost every woman can breastfeed with the right information and support, so I’m sure that if you want to do it, you will!

(P.S. is [name_f]Theodora[/name_f] [name_u]Temple[/name_u] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] your girl name? It’s GORGEOUS. [name_f]Theodora[/name_f] is another firm favourite of mine - this group had great taste! :wink: )

@katinka: Hoping I have as good as an experience. I’ll definitely need the support too. I’m aware of how difficult it can be and has been for so many women but I’m really hoping it will workout for me and I’ll be willing to try whatever it takes.

[name_f]Theodora[/name_f] [name_u]Temple[/name_u] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] is just a fantasy name but gosh I really wish someone would use it!

I’ve spent the past three days with my one-year-old, my friend’s two-year-old, and her friend’s three- and four-year-old kids. It’s wild to see their range of physical abilities, language/communication skills, and personalities/energy levels all in one small house! My heart aches in a good way.

@mill1020, best of luck deciding between TTC and adoption. We hoped to adopt but we’ve realized it’s not an option for our family (at least not at this point, in these circumstances). I think it is such a beautiful and admirable way to build a family.

@ccmrath, the birth of our first son shook up all the family planning we did before he came along! I felt no urgency to have my kids within a set timeframe when it was all imaginary, but now, I’m excited to try to grow our family more quickly (and be done with pregnancy before I reach my thirties). Btw, I think [name_m]Eamon[/name_m] [name_u]Jude[/name_u] sounds so gentle and handsome!

@bedhead, sibling relationships are such a mystery! We’ll play a big role as parents while our kids are small, and hopefully we prepare them well to treasure, respect, and enjoy each other when they’re grown and it’s up to them. We are thinking about names already, but nothing is settled. [name_f]Theodora[/name_f] [name_u]Temple[/name_u] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] is so, so lovely! Is that what you’ll call a daughter?

@lailanotlilah, congratulations on the purchase of your home! We moved in to our place a little over two years ago and are still working on projects big and small. I feel like that “nesting instinct” kicked in long before I got pregnant and is still going strong!

@lirio, I just wanna validate that the logistics of long-distance insemination are a totally worthwhile reason to consider another donor. When I was 25, I began pursuing parenthood on my own. My #1 potential donor was a good friend who moved while we were hashing out everything that needs hashing out. The 18-hour drive to visit my would-be donor ruled him out after an unsuccessful cycle (and I ended up meeting a partner later that year whose biology works with mine to achieve pregnancy). [name_m]Long[/name_m], expensive flights/drives to get sperm/eggs can make a complicated and stressful business even more so! Best of luck on your alternative path to pregnancy!

@katinka, I’ve decided that after we’re done having babies, we’ll use our remaining favorite names on future animals. Maybe you’ll bestow another fantastic moniker on a dog or cat some day. Like you, I’m hoping to have my kids closer together so I can finish my degree when my youngest starts school. Were you studying midwifery before your first was born? Several of my friends are midwives and I chose the midwifery model of care for my firstborn. I could talk about this stuff for days! I’m debating doula certification, myself.

@northernlights, and @seedsandstones, thank you. I think we’re probably going for domestic, possibly through foster care (if we are so lucky). But, there’s also actually a situation (a fairly unusual situation–judging by my preliminary googling) where someone we already know is talking to us about adopting her relative, and we are strongly considering it [she is this child’s legal parent and feels like she’s getting too old to really be the best parent for him, wants him to grow up with siblings and a Dad, etc]. There is a lot about adoption that I don’t know, though, so I have been trying to read about it. I tend to be an emotional decision-maker and would [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] to adopt this kid, but my husband is a lot more rational and definitely wants to think about it for a long time before deciding something so huge. They offered to just refer us to an attorney, but we’re still mulling it all over-- And wouldn’t we need a homestudy regardless? I absolutely think we’d need a homestudy even in an independent situation like that, and certainly don’t want to cut any corners where such an important matter is concerned. So we’re getting our house ready, just in case, and kind of sitting with the decision. Note: it’s kind of weird to be talking about this on a names forum, because this kid has a name and we definitely wouldn’t try to just give him a new name or anything, unless he insisted for some reason (but I’ve spent time with him and would be really surprised if he did). Anyway, thanks for reading this. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] you are both blessed with 2018/2019 babies very soon. :slight_smile:
I should say, hope you are ALL blessed with new little bundles very soon.

@mill1020 Wow, there’s so much to think about and I have endless admiration for adoptive parents! It’s such a wonderful thing to do for a child and must be so so rewarding despite the challenges. A good friend of mine adopted twins early this year and they have brought so much love and joy to the family. I hope everything goes smoothly for you all if that is what you decide to do.

@seedsandstones That’s wonderful! PM me whenever if you want to talk about all that stuff :slight_smile: My first degree was actually in Slavonic languages and linguistics (pretty unrelated to midwifery haha!) and I did manage to finish it - DH and I both graduated a month before J was born. I had no idea then that midwifery would be something that would appeal to me one day, but I guess my life has taken a different turn from what I expected and it’s opened up some more opportunities for me, even though I haven’t necessarily been able to have the career I thought I would. Life can be great like that!