I’ve been wrestling with the idea of TTC so I thought I’d get some opinions from personal experience. For anyone who has miscarried, did you start TTC right away again or did you wait a cycle or few? What did your doctor advise? I did not have a D&C or D&E and my second ultrasound looked clean. Has anyone that had a natural miscarriage had a second that was attributed to getting pregnant too soon? That, of course, is my concern.
Although she is an excellent OB/GYN (very highly recommende also) and very sensitive to my loss, I felt like we didn’t get a definitive answer from my doctor, mostly just a suggestion. She said she generally advises waiting three months because that’s what they (she and the other OBs in the practice) have discovered to provide the optimum emotional healing.
At this point, I have allowed myself to grieve fully and not held back and I believe that has been immensely helpful. Although I miss my baby, the thought of getting pregnant again no longer bothers me. I am not trying to replace a baby, but I have not lost my desire for one. I’ve realized now that it might actually be more emotionally straining for me to force myself to wait 3 months than to just move forward and let things happen.
I’m sorry to hear of your loss.
After being blessed with 2 beautiful girls, I had a miscarriage in the middle of last year. I had never expected it to happen to me, I thought that since I had 2 healthy babies it would all be okay but I guess that’s what everyone thinks. After our loss my husband and I waited 3 months before TTC again but it wasn’t easy to wait. A month after the miscarriage we thought we were ready but 2 weeks later it hit me hard again and I don’t think I could have coped with pregnancy. It’s an emotional roller coaster and since the miscarriage my cycle has been all over the place which doesn’t help. We are still TTC and some days I still feel like it’s never going to happen. Give yourself time to heal. Again, sorry to hear of your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I haven’t experienced this myself, but I do know many women who have. [name]One[/name] in particular (my best friend) miscarried around 10 weeks and was pregnant again within 2 months. 9 months later after a relatively simple pregnancy, she had a beautiful and healthy little girl. I believe her OB also suggested waiting longer than that, but she still felt the need to have a child. I don’t know if there is a medical reason that you shouldn’t start trying again right away.
As for the emotional part of it, I think that only you can truly decide when you’re emotionally ready because everyone will approach the situation differently. If you think it will hurt you more to not try, then I say try. Perhaps, take it easy, but don’t necessarily prevent anything. Whatever you decide, I will hope for nothing but the best for you.
I suppose I should clarify. TTC is perhaps not the best term. I simply mean going back to our previous strategy–not trying, but not preventing. I do not want to deal with the stress of actually TTC at this point in my life, but would rather just let things happen if they will.
I too am very, very sorry for your loss.
I suffered a miscarriage after 2 beautiful children and so i can very much relate to what you are going through. In our case we waited 1 full cycle and then started trying again and I am happy to report that i became pregnant the the 1st month we tried, just 2 months following our loss. I am now 10 weeks 5 days pregnant and so far everything seems to be fine with this pregnancy ( fingers crossed).
I think they mostly suggest waiting three cycles to allow for emotional healing and a sense of closure. I do believe waiting at least 1 cycle is important to ensure the uterine lining can build up again.
I should say that I suffered a missed miscarriage ( my baby had died at 6 weeks gestation, but my body held on to the baby for 3 weeks.) I had a natural miscarriage, did not have a d and c.
I wish you the best, take care.
I really empathize with your situation, because we struggled with the same questions after I had a second miscarriage in [name]September[/name]. With our first loss, the pregnancy had been unplanned, but the miscarriage at 12 weeks was devastating. Neither my husband nor I could think about trying again, and it took us 18 months to feel ready. With the second loss, it was early - 5 weeks - and hurt in a different way because we had been so certain. We weren’t prepared for anything to go wrong. I think because we were so committed to actively wanting a second child, the motivation allowed us to feel ready sooner - we waited the recommended 1 cycle, then moved to “not trying not preventing”, and I was staring at a positive test less than 8 weeks after the miscarriage. I’m now 16 weeks with a very active kicker! So I think it’s a very individual process, and for us the grieving time was different for each loss. My advice would be to periodically check in with yourself and your husband - how does it feel to imagine being pregnant again? Seeing the test, waiting for the tricky 3 months to pass, etc. If those things feel good, or manageable, then you’ll know when you’re ready. Medically, my OB said the 3 months is usually in cases of intervention (D&C etc). For a natural m/c he recommended 1 cycle “simply for dating purposes”, and said there was no risk of repeat loss based on timing. In fact: you are more fertile in the 6 months after a m/c than 1 year after. [name]Just[/name] ensure that you are taking care of your body and your spirit.
Having a period before becoming pregnant would be beneficial in determining how far along you are. That’s the reason for waiting until after your next period that the doctors gave me. Of my seven pregnancies I have had four miscarriages, three natural, one D&C. Emotional healing is a very individual process that only you will know when your ready. With a D&C you would want to wait a few cycles to let your uterine lining build-up.
When I miscarried naturally at 12 weeks I didn’t know until the day before it happened that my pregnancy was non-viable. I wanted to start trying again as soon as possible, but knew I should wait at least 2-3 months from what the mid-wife said. We didn’t “try” but we didn’t prevent. Since I was measuring/graphing my BBT daily and using OPKs I observed that the first month after the mc I didn’t ovulate and my temps were all over the place. It seemed like my body regulated the second month after the mc. I’ve heard/read that some women are super fertile after a mc (not sure how long after) but it was not like that with me and I’m not sure if that 's a myth or not.
After we started trying again 3 mos after (would have been 2 but I was out of town during our fertility window the 3rd mo after the mc), I waited til it had been a year from when we first started TTC and got a fertility work up. Nothing was physically abnormal. Unexplained Infertility. Finally 6 mos after starting TTC after the mc we have finally gotten a positive. If we didn’t make it this month I was going to go into counseling as it’s been extremely difficult emotionally. The monthly cycle of the two week wait, then disappointment, depression, anger, preparing for the next cycle, it was becoming more than I could bear. It would be very difficult if not impossible to control my emotions at times. Sometimes when I was feeling terrible about my situation, I averted my eyes from babies I’d see in the store and resented pregnant women when I saw them. After the mc I got off of facebook completely due to constant pg announcements, birth announcements, baby updates, it’s way too much to take and I found myself comparing myself to these women and putting myself down. It helped a lot to get off fb. For me, getting pregnant and having a child is the most important thing for me right now, I’ve got all my eggs in this one basket, and to fail month after month took its toll. But not TTC at all would have been much worse for me. I just had to keep going, it was like running a marathon, at points you don’t know how you are able to keep going, but you just tell yourself, I have to keep going, I have to keep going, If I keep going I will eventually cross the finish line. Now, it can be the opposite. I have a friend who is bipolar and is also having trouble TTC, but she has needed to stop in order to get her meds and mental health back where it needs to be before starting TTC again. There’s not one way to go about it. You just have to go with what your better judgement tells you. Whether you feel you need to start TTC right away or wait, it depends on where you are at physically, emotionally, mentally.
[name]HI[/name] I had a mc unplanned pregnancy, we didn’t wait we just tried (I had a natural mc). we got pregnant the 3rd cycle from MC. I now have a beautiful 17month old daughter. Someone told me that your body won’t let you become pregnant if its not ready
I had a miscarriage last year after 3 healthy easy pregnancies. I started ttc right away, but I was only pg for about 10 days, so it was more like late period rather than a miscarriage. It took me another 11 months to conceive but I am pg again. I am an older mum so that played a big part in my troubles conceiving.
Definitely take time to grieve if you need it, there’s no rush. [name]One[/name] or two months isn’t long in the grand scheme of things. good luck.
