Two Middle Names

[name_f]My[/name_f] 6 year old son has had the middle name of “Thomas” (named after my husband’s father). I’ve always felt guilt that we never used a name from my family. Well, we finally decided to give my son two middle names, where we will also use my dad’s name, “Charles”. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband never liked this idea, but finally agreed since I’ve still been dwelling on this six years later. I feel it’s a nice way to honor both sides of our families.

I was set on doing:
“John” [name_u]Charles[/name_u] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] “Doe”.

[name_f]My[/name_f] husband made a comment though, he wants his dad’s name to appear first (since my son already has this name):
“John” [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [name_u]Charles[/name_u] “Doe”.

I personally don’t think this flows as well as the other. Any thoughts? Does it matter which grandfather’s name is listed first or should it be what sounds better?

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I personally like [name_u]Charles[/name_u] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], but they both sound nice

and welcome to Nameberry

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Hmmm…. I agree with your husband. Legally, yeah, you could put it how you want, but it makes sense in my mind that it should just be added to the existing name…so would go on the end. I also think that [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [name_u]Charles[/name_u] flows the best.

It seems like a good compromise to me. You both get the honor names you want want without it being too much of a change for the child, who will be the one to use the name. Actually, since he is old enough to know his name, how does he feel about this? Six is young but this is an important part of himself: his identity. I’d perhaps talk to him about it or maybe wait even longer until he can have more of a voice/agency in this.

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As @namergirl3 has commented I agree that [name_u]Charles[/name_u] should be added onto “John Thomas” as this is the original name and also it could feel like a slight for your husband’s father and family being bumped out of position. “John [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] Charles” is a handsome name.

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I love both but I think [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [name_u]Charles[/name_u] flows a little better. :slightly_smiling_face:

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I think both variations flow well.

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[name_u]Charles[/name_u] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] maybe flows a little better but [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [name_u]Charles[/name_u] sounds good too. I’d probably keep [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] first since that’s been his middle from the beginning (nothing about order of importance etc. just your six year old might find it easier if his name is still [name] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [new name]?)

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I think adding [name_u]Charles[/name_u] on the end makes most sense!

Good luck

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Thanks for the suggestion and for welcoming me!

Thanks for the feedback.

I actually don’t use my sons middle name and we never shared it with him either. Only because I’ve never really liked it (I like the name itself, just always had the guilt of not using a name from my family too.) But to your point, he is old enough now where it would good if he knows what his middle name is.

Thanks for the feedback. I was really set in my head on doing “Charles Thomas”, but after my husband made that comment to me, it makes wonder if he’s thinking that too - like he doesn’t want to be bumped out of position.

Thanks for the feedback.

[name_f]My[/name_f] son actually doesn’t know that he has a middle name, only because we never use it - and honestly, because I never liked it. But he is old enough now where it would good if he knows what his middle name is.

When he was born, we went back and forth on what name to use (tossing out other names as well), and finally it was like, ‘ok, just use this’. But then soon after, I had regret, which seemed to hurt my husbands feelings. And that has always been the discussion, if we change it, it would be disrespectful to his father/family. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband finally said, ‘6 years later, if it bothers you this much, then lets have the two names’ - so I’m glad we finally came up with the compromise.

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Thanks for the feedback! :blush:

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I agree with most everyone else that adding on the second middle is the way to go. The flow matters less but its luckily pretty nice both ways! I also like how this way it breaks up [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] “Doe” since thats literally your FILs name? [name_m]Just[/name_m] a random thought.