UGH!!! And now he wants to change her name! UPDATE! See pg 4

Put caitlin in the middle keep [name]Sariah[/name].

It is difficult to sort out what is important from what is less so in so complicated a situation. There are competing issues here.

One thing I would rate not so important (at least in this stage of the game) is that [name]Caitlin[/name] is hugely (and let me add deservedly) popular. That is a consideration early in the naming process. Not so much in the case of considering a name change for a baby half a year old. Whether individual posters like [name]Sariah[/name] or [name]Caitlin[/name] best doesn’t seem relevant to me – now. Before this child was born and had a history – yes. Very much so. That is why we are here. But this is an unusual case.

I think there is one important basic conflict here. (Although I’m always open to the idea I’m wrong. I’m wrong more often than most people, I swear!) Is it worse for a mom to be uncomfortable with her kid’s name? Or is it worse to change the name of a born baby, a name that is somewhat established as the child’s name?

I think there is a lot to be said for both sides of this argument. But I think I land on the unpopular side that is it more important AT THIS STAGE for a mom to like her kid’s name. Throw in that the dad too thinks his daughter’s name doesn’t quite fit, and the delicately balanced scales tip.

That this mom even started this thread says if all for me. This is no normal case of “car buyer’s regret” when the morning after a big decision you start to exam critically all the doubts you were suppressing when you made your choice. This mom has genuine reservations about her daughter’s name, and that is NOT A GOOD THING.

Some have argued [name]Sariah[/name] is the child’s name, so live with it. If the baby were old enough to have an identity and to associate her name with that identity, I would agree. But at six (or so, I forget) months, I don’t think that has developed yet. This baby doesn’t even know she is a separate being from her mom. And her world is filled with sounds she does not decode the way adults do. She might also link her identity, such as it is, with “mama’s littl’ punkin pie!”

Usually I don’t make comparisons between the dog world and the child world, but in this case, I think it might be helpful. Some people who get rescue dogs imagine they have to keep the original name (if known), even if they loathe that name. They think it they are honoring their new dog’s old identity. But dogs don’t think about names the way we do. [name]Nor[/name], in my opinion, do babies. Trained rescue workers encourage people to chose a name they like. All the dog needs to know is when you want his attention or when you want her to come. She doesn’t feel bad you are calling her “[name]Willow[/name]” instead of “[name]Chloe[/name],” a sound she heard a lot in her old world of pain and suffering. Honest. If these parents were adopting little “[name]Sariah[/name]” from [name]Africa[/name] at six months, I would say the same thing. She’ll figure out her name is [name]Caitlin[/name] if that is your pleasure. She will have no memory of [name]Sariah[/name].

If changing this baby’s name makes the parents both more comfortable and brings a harmony that has been elusive, by all means do it. For the baby – it will make a great story by the time she is five. I can see this as a bragging point. “I was [name]Sariah[/name] for seven months as a baby!” Adolescent eye roll here.

And this happens all the time, albeit a little differently. [name]Remember[/name] that the world isn’t flooded with Tippers, Happys, and Kikis simply because of odd parental choices for given names. It happens because parents start calling their babies something that works for the parents and seems appropriate for that baby. There are plenty of people out there who get questions such as, “Why do they call you [name]Teddy[/name] when you aren’t even a [name]Theodora[/name]! Your name is [name]Elaine[/name], for heaven’s sake!” [name]Answer[/name]? “Because I was my dad’s little [name]Teddy[/name] bear.” (Sigh.) I just love my Aunt [name]Toni[/name] (given name [name]Marilyn[/name]. [name]Don[/name]'t ask.)

The parents might get some flack from others, but I think it shouldn’t be too hard to deflect. A simple, firm “She’s our [name]Caitlin[/name] now,” should do it. If either parent wants to get into the complex, juicy details, he or she can, but outsiders don’t really have a say in this, and they are being inappropriate to imagine they do.

As for the name, how about [name]Caitlin[/name] [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Raquel[/name]? A little stately like the opening lines of the name of a Russian princess, but might work.

I agree, [name]Lauren[/name]. I love [name]Caitlin[/name], and I have come to love [name]Sariah[/name]. So when we change her name do I put [name]Caitlin[/name] in the mn spot, and just call her [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name], or do I actually make her first name [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name]? That would probably too much - all her teachers calling her [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name]

My husband had a friend who was named [name]Eric[/name] [name]Sumner[/name] [name]Shaw[/name] LN. Everyone called him [name]Shaw[/name] though. This kind of reminds of him - if we were to name her [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] or [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] [name]Raquel[/name], then only call her [name]Caitlin[/name]. But I like [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] - it’s the best of both worlds (not quoting [name]Miley[/name]). I haven’t had a chance to talk to DH about this exact arrangement yet, so we’ll see what he says.[/quote]

Are you asking if you should name her [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] Gorman or [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] [name]Raquel[/name]? Gorman is the last name, right? I can’t really remember back that far…

I remember early on you saying you weren’t a huge fan of double middle names, or maybe that was [name]Patrick[/name]. I think, for simplicity’s sake, I’d keep it as [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] Gorman, without the [name]Raquel[/name] - even though you aren’t using a family name then. I wouldn’t necessarily consider [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] to be a double name; rather, I’d treat [name]Sariah[/name] as her first name and [name]Caitlin[/name] as her middle name. That absolutely doesn’t mean you can’t call her [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] - or [name]Sari[/name] [name]Cait[/name], or some other nickname - but it does make it a bit easier for friends, other family members, and future teachers. [name]Jacob[/name] and [name]Alanna[/name] can keep their nickname for her, and if your husband really wants to, she can be his [name]Caitlin[/name]. Best of both worlds, for sure!

[name]Lemon[/name] :slight_smile:

I am very sorry that you are having this conflict. When you announced her name here originally I thought it was a beautiful combo and I loved that it honoured you also.

I would leave it and if you wish to call her [name]Caitlin[/name] or any other name you like as a nn go for it. My mother [name]Margaret[/name] was never ever called [name]Margaret[/name], her father called her [name]Jane[/name] but nobody else called her [name]Jane[/name], just give her your favourite nn and forget about changing it.

I say keep it. It’s meant to be.

Save [name]Caitlin[/name] for your next baby.

When you look at your younger daughter and say her name, it is important that you feel a sense of peace and pleasure rather than a mix of doubts and regret. YOU will not quickly forget the emotional journey this has been, but – whatever transition friends and family need to go through – it will all pass very quickly and soon become a faint memory.

Your daughter’s name should be absolutely whichever suits her best and brings you the most peace and joy when you look at her or call her name!

I think that if you have found a name better suited for her then you should change it. People change their own names all the time. I know three people who have changed their name at a later age and everyone else around them gets used to it rather quickly. Your daughter is only 7 months old, people may find it odd at first to start calling her something else but by the time she’s two years old, she’ll likely be known only by her new name.

When I look at my son, I think to myself how much I love his name and how fitting it is for him. I think you owe it to yourself and your little girl to love her name…even if it means changing it.

Good luck!

Ahhhh, I am conflicted because [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Raquel[/name] is such a perfect name! I love it just like that! But if you and hubby are both having second thoughts, I think you should probably take heed of that and change it.

My vote would be for [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name], or [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] [name]Raquel[/name], and call her [name]Caitlin[/name]. There are plenty of people who go by their middle names, so that wouldn’t be weird. But I think [name]Sariah[/name] is her name and you should keep that.

That’s the thing - I’ve started loving her name again, until he said he’d rather have [name]Caitlin[/name], which was my favorite for her. Oooooo!!! I just wish that he would have thought about this BEFORE we named her. I feel like I settled on [name]Sariah[/name], but am starting to love it. I know alot of parents settle on something because their spouse doesn’t like the name that he or she loves. But, it’s like I’m getting a second chance with the name I love.

At this point I am so confused. While I have been calling her [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] all day, I’ve also been agonizing about it.

To the poster that suggested using it for a future child… that would be nice, but I can no longer have any more children.

Here is what I’ve been thinking
PROS:
[name]Sariah[/name]: beautiful, uncommon, will probably be the only one in her class with this name, it’s HER name, [name]Jacob[/name] and [name]Alanna[/name] know it, have nn’d her, and [name]Alanna[/name] (the younger of the 2) can say it very well)
[name]Caitlin[/name]: beautiful, THE name I wanted for her since the beginning of the pregnancy, Irish - like we wanted, to honor DH’s heritage, pairs a little bit better with [name]Jacob[/name] and [name]Alanna[/name], fits her better than [name]Sariah[/name] - she is Irish thru and thru with piercing blue eyes, strawberry-blonde hair, and fair skin.

CONS:
[name]Sariah[/name]: not very well accepted by many people (family or strangers), maybe a little too different, has pronounciation issues, not to mention spelling issues, doesn’t fit her as well as [name]Caitlin[/name] does.
[name]Caitlin[/name]: lots of girls have this name, but she can go by [name]Sariah[/name] if she wants, would probably only have spelling issues due to the umpteen ways to spell it, [name]Alanna[/name] can’t say it very well (Kaywin she says), and [name]Jacob[/name] doesn’t really like it too much.

SIGH… I’ll have to talk to DH when he gets home. I need to get off here, and really think about what I want. Whatever we decide, I want to make sure it’s right. If we want to change her name, I want to call her by it for a month or so so we know it’s right and not just a fly-by-night decision. Looking back on our decision for [name]Sariah[/name] I feel like it was rushed, and we didn’t really take our time compromising on the name that we wanted. It was more like it just felt right at the time. I think I’m also going to get out the stuff from the hospital that has her name on it to try and conjour up the feelings we had when we named her that, and see how I feel then.

Thank you every one so, so much for your help. I will let you all know what we decide.

[name]Raquel[/name]: I feel for you, I REALLY do. I can honestly, whole-heartedly say, I KNOW what you are going through. I once again cannot believe how closely are circumstances are and how close the names we are second guessing really are ([name]Sariah[/name] and [name]Soraya[/name]). I actually feel sick to my stomach even reading your post and imagining that there is a high likelihood that this will be me, too, in 5 months. I agree so much w/what the previous poster [name]Bonnie[/name] said. I believe she is very intuitive based on her post in this thread and the response she gave me in my thread. She really seems to understand our situations succinctly. I agree that this isn’t just passing ‘buyer’s remorse’ so to speak since it speaks volumes that you even started this thread. I feel helpless, as it seems you do, too and I wish I could solve this dilemma for both of us. The name [name]Mara[/name] is almost like your [name]Caitlin[/name] for me. I dropped the name because it rhymed w/my first daughter’s…you dropped the name because your dh contested it. I wish I would have listened to my dh when he said he saw a ‘[name]Mara[/name]’ in the hospital; I feel like a fool that I did not and that I let my number one choice go because of it’s similarity to Navarra. That was not a good enough reason looking back to drop it. I feel waves of regret so strong when I read your post. I know this sounds selfish, but it makes me feel better to know that there is someone else out there going through this same exact thing, though I wouldn’t wish it on you or anyone else. And it seems no one can understand unless they go through it themselves, just like the death of a child. I want to be IN [name]LOVE[/name] w/my daughter’s name…just like my other kids’ names…I never ever went through this w/their names! My husband gave me a deadline to make a decision to change it, and that passed 2 weeks ago…but I still go back and forth, and reading your post helped to clarify once again, that I, too, am having doubts AGAIN, and I wish they would go away and stop haunting me, as I share your agony. I am sorry if I am mixing sympathy for your situation w/tid bits on how I am feeling about my own currently. I know this sounds bad, and I am beyond caring what people think, and no offense to any posters of [name]African[/name] American origin, but I am starting to wonder if [name]Soraya[/name] also sounds like it is not fit for a Caucasian girl either. I so hope you find your answers [name]Raquel[/name]…I feel so sick, I am getting offline! [name]Hope[/name] to hear from you soon!

Sweetie I think you have to do what you want! I agree with [name]Bonnie[/name] as well - it’s not going to hurt your daughter to change her name at this stage. The only reason she would even know is that you or someone else will probably tell her the story when she’s older. The older kids will be a tougher sell, but they’ll get used to it, too, and if you leave [name]Sariah[/name] in one of the spots, they still have the option to call her that.

I think a lot of posters feel really attached to [name]Sariah[/name] because we all took part in your naming journey, and it’s a more “Nameberry” name. But really, it doesn’t matter. What you and your husband think is way more important.

And I can definitely see why you’ve had problems with other people’s responses. That must be really tough. I think you will feel much better once you give her the name you wanted for her all along. [name]Caitlin[/name] is a beautiful name. Good luck hun.

I second every single thing [name]Bonnie[/name] said.

You have had issues with the name [name]Sariah[/name] from the beginning. If it was meant to be her name, you wouldn’t be agonizing about it 7 months later.

Try just clearing your mind, meditate. Try to forget everyone elses opinions. Look at your baby. Who is she?

Goodness!! This you guys and this name can’t seem to keep falling out of sorts!! I think that seven months is a little too late. I have flipped back and forth a few times with my daughter’s name, in love out of love, remembering the important reasons I chose it, not giving a crap about the reasons behind it, back in love, meh…on and on…but dispite these shifts I can’t imagine my DD with any other name ([name]Caitlin[/name] [name]Harper[/name] ironicly enough :p). I did for some time consider calling her by her MN as [name]Caitlin[/name] is fairly common (as pointed out by ssooooo many previous posters lawl) but she IS her name!! There is no way I could see her beautiful little face and think another name. The last time you posted your concerns about your DD’s name I said think of the reasons you originally chose her name and what made you fall in love with it and I think you and your DH should do that now also. If those reasons are paled in comparison for your love of another name I say go fir it but do do soon as your time to consider is running out. Good luck…again :stuck_out_tongue:

I don’t think 7 months is too late to use the name you loved all along. If I was you I’d take your opportunity to finally have some peace with the situation. Regardless of what anyone else thinks of both names, [name]Caitlin[/name] is the name YOU love and have loved as you said, since the beginning of your pregnancy. That’s the name you will regret using!!

I think you should call her [name]Caitlin[/name] [name]Sariah[/name] so that [name]Sariah[/name] is still in there but you can call her [name]Caitlin[/name]. You could even nn her [name]Caitlin[/name] [name]Sarai[/name], or Caiti [name]Sarai[/name].

I just think if you’re still struggling with this at 7 months, and your family aren’t particularly supportive of [name]Sariah[/name] either, then maybe you should listen to your heart and call her the name that you feel is really “her”.

I wouldn’t worry too much about your children, they’re young and they’ll get used to [name]Caitlin[/name] pretty quickly and your 2 year old will likely forget that her name was ever [name]Sariah[/name] eventually! And as for things with the name [name]Sariah[/name] on, well it is a pitty but are they worth more than your peace of mind and being content in the name you chose?

Personally, I think [name]Sariah[/name] and [name]Caitlin[/name] are both beautiful. [name]Sariah[/name] is unusual, but not weird, beautiful, feminine and pretty with a lovely meaning. [name]Caitlin[/name], yes it is too popular but it’s also my baby sisters name (I say baby, she’s almost 11!) which I chose for her when I was 13 so clearly I love that name too! And if it helps your husband, my sister [name]Caitlyn[/name] has never gone by [name]Kate[/name] or [name]Kate[/name] in our family, always by [name]Caitlyn[/name], but I think some school friends do call her [name]Kate[/name].

I think you know what you want in your heart, and you’re just worried that people will judge you for changing her name at this late stage but honestly, don’t worry about it!! [name]Just[/name] do what’s right for your family. From the things you’ve said, I believe you’ll be happier with [name]Caitlin[/name], and [name]Sariah[/name]'s still there in the middle slot so that you never really have to let go of it. My name’s [name]Laura[/name] [name]Jane[/name] and some of my family members occassionally call me by both names, something they do to most of the girls in my family as a kind of affectionate thing ([name]Kelly[/name] [name]Marie[/name], [name]Amy[/name] [name]Megan[/name], [name]Francesca[/name] [name]Louise[/name]…) so [name]Sariah[/name] will still get used, but [name]Caitlin[/name] will be upfront where you wanted it all along!

Anyway I hope you make a decision you’re happy with and that your husband is on board too. If it feels right to change it to [name]Caitlin[/name] I would just do it now before anymore time passes and she starts to learn her own name, then it would cause more problems.

I know it would have been a BILLION times better if your husband came around before your baby was born but better late than never hey! And at least now you get your second chance at the name you wanted and you can put all of this trauma behind you :slight_smile:

Best of luck to all of you

[name]Laura[/name] x

I have no opinion about do or don’t change her name. That’s up to you as a couple and a family. However I will say that I’ve seen quite a few of your posts about this and I don’t honestly know if [name]Sariah[/name] is the right name for her. It sounds like you’re talking yourself into loving her name, not actually loving it.

As for [name]Caitlin[/name] v. [name]Sariah[/name]…
I am a [name]Kaitlin[/name], and I’ve always loved my name. I think the nickname potential for [name]Caitlin[/name] ([name]Cate[/name], [name]Catie[/name], [name]Cat[/name], et c.) is better than it is for [name]Sariah[/name]. In my graduating class, there were four of us: two Caitlins, one [name]Caitlyn[/name], and one [name]Kaitlin[/name]. But the popularity of my name has never bothered me, it’s a beautiful name with strong roots to my Irish heritage.

For those who are concerned that [name]Sariah[/name] (or [name]Soraya[/name]) would be weird on a caucasian child… I know two women with this name. They spell their names Serayah and Surayyah. Serayah is Irish and Hungarian, she has big blue eyes, brown hair, and freckles all over her! She loves her name. The other is M___ Surayyah but she goes exclusively by her mn. She is petite, with long blonde hair and blue eyes.

So far as I know neither of them get comments about not being middle eastern enough (really?!) for that name. And in regards to the comment on [name]Sariah[/name] being a “black person’s name”? My boyfriend thinks [name]KAYLA[/name] is a black person’s name. I don’t mean to offend anyone here, but if your daughter was named [name]LaToya[/name] or Ayodele or something that is traditionally an [name]African[/name] American name I could see the concern, but really? Everyone is going to have a different opinion because of that one time they met their dad’s second cousin’s boyfriend’s accountant’s daughter’s sister-in-law named [name]Sariah[/name] and she spilled a drink on them.

[name]Long[/name] story short: go with your heart, go with your gut, and let us know what you decide.

And her name will be [name]Sariah[/name]! Quite a lot of factors went into this decision in the short time that it has been since I’ve last posted.

First, DH and I talked about it last night, and we decided [name]Sariah[/name] is her name… who cares what other people think. It is HER name, and “[name]Sariah[/name]” will become her, and she will become “[name]Sariah[/name]”.

Also, I woke up this morning and went on FB, I saw that a friend’s brother lost his little boy last night. Knowing what this family is going through, I immediately thought to myself “how can I be so selfish? I am taking time away from my baby thinking about her name not fitting her. If anything happened to her today, she would be [name]Sariah[/name] forever. I need to start loving my baby for who she is, and what name she has”. If I really want to have [name]Caitlin[/name], I’ll put it in the middle. There is a reason why we chose [name]Sariah[/name], and for the past month I have been completely satisfied and happy with her name, until DH suggested renaming her [name]Caitlin[/name].

I also looked at some of my younger cousin’s pages on FB and saw so many Caitlins and their variations. The main reason we chose [name]Sariah[/name] is its uncommon trait. When she is older and meets the man of her life, I want him to say “what a beautiful name”, not “oh, that’s my sister’s name” or “i have an 3 ex-gf’s with that name”.

I might change her mn to [name]Caitlin[/name], but DH thinks it should stay [name]Raquel[/name]. It feels weird to say my name in hers, and when she gets older and I yell “[name]Sariah[/name] [name]Raquel[/name]!”, it’s like I’m going to be hearing my mother yell at me!

Janda… it dawned on me last night that you might be having such a difficult time with [name]Soraya[/name]'s name because you wanted [name]Mara[/name], which is so close to Navarra. The fact that the two of them are so close might be why you are mourning not having [name]Mara[/name] as her name, like it’s your last link to Navarra. What if you used [name]Mara[/name] as her mn?

Yay! I’m glad that you made a decision and seem to feel good about it! [name]Sariah[/name] is an absolutely gorgeous name. I’ve always really liked the flow of it. I’m sure she will [name]LOVE[/name] her name.

I just typed out this whole super-long thing and then lost it. Oh, well…

Yay, [name]Raquel[/name]! I’m glad this is over for you and you’ve decided that [name]Sariah[/name] is her name. I knew there was an important reason you chose it when she was born, and I’m glad you remembered how you felt then. If you feel like you need to change her middle name to be truly happy, then go for it! I know your husband really wanted to carry on the family names and keep [name]Raquel[/name] in there, but I get the sense that [name]Caitlin[/name] is it for you in the middle, especially since [name]Raquel[/name] is your name. Maybe you just need a totally new middle name! I know you probably don’t want to do that, but you could do something stemming from your maiden name, which begins with Kar-, right? [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Kara[/name], [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Karan[/name], [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Karen[/name], [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Kari[/name] - okay, you catch my drift. Whatever name you choose, I’m sure you’re little “princess” will love it…

[name]Lemon[/name] :slight_smile:

[name]Raquel[/name]-
You are exactly right; I am mourning the loss of [name]Mara[/name] so much because it is the name I REALLY wanted even though it is so close to Navarra. And by not using it, it is like losing my last link to Navarra…but the fact that I just wrote/agreed w/that really makes me second guess the reasons why I toss back and forth every other day changing her name from [name]Soraya[/name] to [name]Mara[/name].
However, I am SO RELIEVED for you that you found peace w/your decision to stick w/[name]Sariah[/name]…I hope I find that same peace sooner than later, as I really would like to move on w/my life!

Best wishes to you and [name]Sariah[/name]!

Janda

[name]Lauren[/name], [name]Sariah[/name] Kar… probably not. :frowning: Though it’s a good idea, I don’t care too much for [name]Karen[/name], [name]Kara[/name], etc. I’d rather see [name]Josephine[/name] (which I almost gave her as her mn, in the final moments it was between [name]Raquel[/name] and [name]Josephine[/name]) to honor my father, [name]Joseph[/name], and my dad’s aunt [name]Josephine[/name] (r.i.p. my dear Aunt [name]Josie[/name]) - she was such a fun, wonderful, and loving lady! The ONLY reason I went with [name]Raquel[/name] is b/c I wanted DH to like it, but he gave me complete authority to name her, and I made it [name]Raquel[/name]. So I will toss back and forth for a while what I really want her mn to be. [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Raquel[/name], [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name], [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Josephine[/name], hmmm…

That is another name I am sad I can’t use, while I didn’t want it for her as much as I wanted [name]Caitlin[/name], and I’m so glad she’s not a [name]Josephine[/name] as it doesn’t fit her, I wish I could have another baby just to use that name! Although, “[name]Josie[/name]” alone might fit [name]Sariah[/name]… anyway, I’m babbling!

Oh! I can’t believe how much of a doofus I am! [name]Patrick[/name]'s grandma’s mn is [name]Catherine[/name], [name]Caitlin[/name] is the Irish form of [name]Catherine[/name] - soooooo if we changed it to [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name], it would still honor a family member!

Janda, what about [name]Soraya[/name] [name]Mara[/name] or [name]Mara[/name] [name]Soraya[/name]? [name]Mara[/name] [name]Soraya[/name] is beautiful, actually they both are! Let me know what you do, please!