Unisex names: do you prefer them on one gender over another?

It depends on the name. My first name and middle name are both unisex, which is unfortunate for me most of the time. My middle name ([name_u]Taylor[/name_u]) is fine for a girl or boy, but I don’t like my first name ([name_u]Brett[/name_u]). I can’t even tell you how tired I am of having to correct everyone. The other day, I went to Walgreens to pick up my medication. The second I said my name, it went from “what prescription do you need?” to “what prescription does HE need?” Seriously. My medication is birth control, btw. [name_m]Even[/name_m] at restaurants, when I pay with my debit card, they almost always return my card to my husband. I can almost guarantee they assume he’s [name_u]Brett[/name_u].

Anyway, unisex names like [name_u]Leslie[/name_u] fit better on girls, while others like [name_u]Elliot[/name_u]/[name_u]Elliott[/name_u] are probably better on boys.

See this is interesting to me - if it starts being a thing that names not only migrate from male to female, but also female to male, I’d probably have way less of a reaction to male names on girls. [name_f]Cadence[/name_f] is a good candidate, since [name_u]Cade[/name_u], [name_m]Caden[/name_m], and [name_m]Clarence[/name_m] are all familiar male names now that sound super similar. It didn’t exist as a name until the past decade or so, so it would fall in line with other modern word-names like [name_u]Sage[/name_u], [name_u]River[/name_u], etc.

You’re definitely not sexist for having a daughter [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] and son [name_m]Aaron[/name_m]! I mean, maybe the sexist conditioning we all have is part of why [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] on a girl sounds cool and modern in the first place, but I don’t think it actually says anything about the individual person’s gender politics, at least consciously. I think what really bothers me is the trend of ever-more masculine names for both boys ([name_m]Archer[/name_m], [name_m]Gunner[/name_m], [name_m]Maverick[/name_m]) and girls ([name_u]Tyler[/name_u], [name_u]Dylan[/name_u], [name_u]Ryan[/name_u]). So I’d have way more of a reaction to someone with a daughter [name_u]Elliott[/name_u] and son [name_u]Blaise[/name_u]. A name like [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] still has a vaguely masculine feel but is pretty solidly female at this point, so using it on a girl isn’t really pushing the trend any further so much as maintaining the status quo, and liking it probably just means you like modern-sounding names, many of which happen to follow this pattern. So yeah, even if the pattern has sexist undertones, it doesn’t make you personally a sexist.

But really there’s just only so far it can go - even the macho [name_u]Hunter[/name_u] is being used on girls now. Optimistically, I hope this means gendering all gets muddled, the pendulum swings and it seems less weird to see boys with vaguely feminine names. A female [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] with a male [name_f]Cadence[/name_f] I’d think was pretty cool, and genuinely modern!

I don’t want you to think I’m arguing with you, but variants of [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] have existed since before the 5th century. [name_m]Saint[/name_m] [name_f]Bibiana[/name_f] was a female saint that existed in the 4th century, and it’s derived from a Latin name, which have both feminine and masculine forms just by changing the last part of the name in most cases (Vivianus -> [name_f]Viviana[/name_f]). [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] was derived from [name_f]Aveline[/name_f], a feminine name.

A lot of neutral names also started off as surnames, so aside from gender markers (-son, Mc-), just from an objective standpoint, are the lot of them truly boy/girl names?

I address the recorded history thing in my original post. I understand the statistics used aren’t indicative of all time, and I certainly wasn’t accusing you of of just skimming wiki articles. I think it’s generally more complicated than just declaring a name boy or girl though. We can debate name history and derivatives all day, but most names have long and complicated timelines or questionable sources. The majority of people probably aren’t thinking back that far though. Like I said, I get your point about names being condemned for boys after they go to girls, and parents using obviously and historically male names for their girls is a questionable trend. I am on the same page as you when it comes to the gender equality deal. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t grit my teeth every time I see someone name their daughter [name_u]Asa[/name_u] because it “sounds” like a girls name. I don’t think society at large really cares about name history or traditional usage, but what can you do?

Thank you for your response! The thing you mentioned about the percentage of boys in 2016 who get a top ten name is equal to 1900’s #20 was really interesting.

Unisex names are strange, I don’t like most of them but there are a few I don’t even realise are unisex. [name_u]Skylar[/name_u] is definitely one of them. [name_u]Darcy[/name_u], [name_u]Rue[/name_u], [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] and [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] are a few others. [name_u]Riley[/name_u] is one I love but only on a girl and I only like [name_u]Ash[/name_u] names on boys.

In general, I prefer them on boys. As for names on my actual lists though, I have slightly more unisex names on my girls list.

In my view, a name is only truly unisex if it arose simultaneously for both genders. [name_u]Hilary[/name_u], which is the English form of both Hilarius and [name_f]Hilaria[/name_f], is a good example, as is [name_u]Aubrey[/name_u], which comes from both Alberada and Alberich. I tend to enjoy these names equally for men and for women.

However, these names are the minority of all the names that are considered sexually ambiguous today. The biggest category is probably names that were originally genderless surnames, but then started being given as personal names. Historically this was done far more for boys, but there are exceptions, and there is no reason why names that were originally surnames should be exclusive for one gender. Surnames are everybody’s heritage, after all, so nobody can argue that names like [name_u]Blair[/name_u] and [name_u]Percy[/name_u] aren’t unisex.
I appreciate these names on both genders, but, taking the example of [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], I would be far more likely to give it to my own son than my own daughter. It’s a question of style; on boys, surnames have an understated and gently classic vibe, which matches my taste in names far better than the modern and dynamic, or relaxed and tomboyish, feel they have for girls.
I absolutely love the diversity in feel surnames give to the name-pool for girls, though, and I would love to meet more women with these names.
(Note: not all surnames are genderless. I personally find it disrespectful to the baby’s sex to give him or her a name that means the opposite gender, which makes me believe that all “son of ____” names are inappropriate as first names for girls and names like [name_u]Dexter[/name_u], which means “female dyer”, are inappropriate for boys.)

Then, there are names that are coined from the dictionary, like [name_u]River[/name_u], [name_f]Willow[/name_f] or [name_f]Hope[/name_f]. English nouns, of course, aren’t gendered, so even though these usually have a history of use on one gender over the other, there’s nothing to say that they can’t be used for both.
Personally, I usually like them for both, but it does depend hugely on the individual name. I like [name_f]Dawn[/name_f] for both, for example, but [name_u]River[/name_u] only for boys.

The final category is that of names which were originally gendered, but somewhere down the line just started being given to children of the other sex. Some find “gender-bending” justifiable, and others don’t. I’m of the opinion that a name is more than a combination of sounds, used to address a person: its etymology makes it what it is, which means that its gender is inherent to it. [name_u]Avery[/name_u], [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] and even [name_u]Joyce[/name_u] will always be male names, no matter how many women have worn the names, and no matter how long ago.

[name_u]Evelyn[/name_u], by the way, is an interesting case of how a girls’ name became a boys’ name and then switched back again. Although it has been used for boys over the years, it’s strictly speaking no more of a boy’s name than [name_f]Rose[/name_f] is.
It started off as a Medieval variant of Avelina. It would never have appeared in Medieval records as a woman’s name, because although they were called [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] in day-to-day life, the name was latinised as Avelina on documents. But then, like many Medieval names, [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] and Avelina fell out of use, surviving only as a surname. Once the original feminine name [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] had been completely forgotten about, the surname started occasionally being given to boys, as surnames often were. There are plenty of other examples of female names having created surnames that were then given to boys when the original girls’ name became obsolete, such as [name_u]Emmet[/name_u], a diminutive for [name_f]Emma[/name_f].
With Medievalism in the nineteenth century, [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] was revived for girls.

I have always thought of ‘boy names on girls’ as a modern phenomenon. And when I think of it I have always thought about names like [name_u]Ashley[/name_u] and [name_u]Quinn[/name_u]. I was recently browsing the top 1000 for 1905 and [name_m]Robert[/name_m] caught my eye on the girl side. It piqued my interest and I discovered that [name_m]Eric[/name_m], [name_m]John[/name_m], [name_m]Robert[/name_m], [name_m]Joseph[/name_m], [name_m]Anthony[/name_m], [name_m]David[/name_m], and [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] had all been used on females for decades, some since 1900 or before. The really interesting thing (at least to me) is that all of these names in particular ALL dropped off the top 1000 in 1988. [name_m]David[/name_m] fell 250 places in a year. Some others stayed put for another year or two ([name_m]Christopher[/name_m], [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], [name_u]Michael[/name_u], [name_u]James[/name_u]) and some had fallen away a few years before ([name_m]Charles[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]William[/name_m]) but for the most part by 1990 the true BOY names (and I don’t mean surnames, occupational names, etc.) were off the top 1000 for girls. Of course a few exceptions popped up and lingered for a bit ([name_u]Corey[/name_u], [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m], [name_u]Tyler[/name_u]) and a rare few are still there ([name_u]Stevie[/name_u]) and then a resurgence of some have shown up ([name_u]Frankie[/name_u]) but for the most part - names that you would read on paper and have absolutely no doubt that the person with that name is male - are not on the top 1000. I’d call that improvement. Of course people will disagree and say [name_u]Harper[/name_u], [name_u]Avery[/name_u], [name_u]Everly[/name_u], etc are 100% male names that are just called unisex - but I’d say they’re in a different category than [name_m]John[/name_m], [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], [name_m]Robert[/name_m], etc.

Anyway, just something I found interesting! There are women born in the 80’s walking around with the name [name_m]Robert[/name_m] and [name_m]William[/name_m] which is a much heavier load to bear than a 2017 baby girl being named [name_u]Riley[/name_u] or [name_u]Skylar[/name_u]!

I vary wildly depending on the name.

I like [name_u]Morgan[/name_u], [name_f]Briar[/name_f], and [name_u]River[/name_u] on both boys and girls.

I don’t like [name_u]Dakota[/name_u] on anybody.

I think of [name_u]Skylar[/name_u] as a more androgynous version of [name_u]Schuyler[/name_u] which I think of as masculine. I wouldn’t use it in any case though.

I like [name_u]Linden[/name_u] and [name_u]Quinn[/name_u] more for boys.

I could be persuaded to think of [name_u]Rowan[/name_u] as either.

I wouldn’t really use [name_u]Rory[/name_u] or [name_u]Riley[/name_u] but I like them on girls. Well, I might use [name_u]Rory[/name_u] as a NN.

I prefer [name_u]Michal[/name_u] and [name_f]Noa[/name_f] on girls but they have plenty of their own history as girls’ names. I find [name_f]Noa[/name_f] a lot more interesting than [name_u]Noah[/name_u].

It’s difficult for me, because I love the idea of unisex names on boys or girls, but so many unisex names are completely not my style ([name_u]Taylor[/name_u], [name_u]Quinn[/name_u], [name_u]River[/name_u] to name a few). I tend towards nature names on boys ([name_u]Sage[/name_u], [name_u]Rowan[/name_u]), excepting [name_u]Wren[/name_u] which is decidedly feminine for me. I do like the occasional surname-name on either gender ([name_u]Harper[/name_u] and [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] for girls, [name_m]Cooper[/name_m] and [name_u]Linden[/name_u] for boys, [name_u]Avery[/name_u] for either). I love [name_u]Page[/name_u] on boys, and I’m ambivalent about it on girls, but I dislike the [name_f]Paige[/name_f] spelling.

Definitely boys. It makes my skin crawl when [name_u]Casey[/name_u], [name_u]Riley[/name_u], [name_u]Peyton[/name_u], [name_u]Reese[/name_u], [name_u]Cameron[/name_u], [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], [name_u]River[/name_u], [name_u]Elliott[/name_u], [name_u]Dakota[/name_u], [name_u]Spencer[/name_u], [name_u]Morgan[/name_u], [name_u]Ryan[/name_u], [name_u]Emery[/name_u], [name_u]Hayden[/name_u], [name_u]Cody[/name_u], [name_u]James[/name_u], [name_u]Bailey[/name_u], [name_u]Micah[/name_u], [name_u]Logan[/name_u], [name_u]Sawyer[/name_u], [name_u]Jordan[/name_u], [name_u]Parker[/name_u], and many more are given to girls.

I guess I prefer most for girls because I grew up in the generation of girls named [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], [name_u]Quinn[/name_u], [name_u]Jamie[/name_u], [name_u]Emerson[/name_u], [name_u]Avery[/name_u], [name_u]Skylar[/name_u], [name_u]Riley[/name_u], etc. so I picture them all on girls. People in my area often give their daughters unisex names (i.e. [name_u]Madison[/name_u], [name_u]Addison[/name_u], [name_u]Avery[/name_u]) and give their sons very masculine names (i.e. [name_m]Jackson[/name_m], [name_m]Colton[/name_m], [name_u]Brayden[/name_u]). The frilliest that people get with their daughters’ names are [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] and [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]. I’ve met boys named [name_u]Taylor[/name_u] (went by TJ though so not really) and [name_u]Quinn[/name_u] from the names I listed earlier but other than that, only girls. I actually prefer [name_u]Quinn[/name_u], [name_u]Jamie[/name_u], and [name_u]Emerson[/name_u] for a boy though. I love [name_u]Schuyler[/name_u], [name_u]Reilly[/name_u], and [name_u]Avery[/name_u] for girls, but not for boys, although I could see them working for boys (with the exception of [name_u]Avery[/name_u], honestly. I’d have to meet one first).
Since I’m used to people not using very frilly names for girls, so I can see harder sounds working for girls. For example, my little cousin is [name_u]Auden[/name_u], so even though the name has hard consonant sounds in the D and N, I think the name is very feminine. She’s also the only [name_u]Auden[/name_u] I’ve ever met. In fact, a lot of my close friends have traditionally masculine names: [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], [name_u]Sydney[/name_u], [name_u]Ashley[/name_u]; and I think all of those are more feminine, despite their hard sounds. The first (and only) [name_u]Rowan[/name_u] I’ve ever met was a girl so I find that to be feminine. I’ve only known one [name_u]Sage[/name_u] ([name_u]Saige[/name_u]) who was a girl. When I was younger, there were two girls named [name_u]Devyn[/name_u] in my grade, so I didn’t believe it when my sister told me she had a boy [name_u]Devon[/name_u] in her class. Most of the unisex names that people on Nameberry like to complain about ([name_u]Evelyn[/name_u], [name_u]Vivian[/name_u], [name_u]Tatum[/name_u], [name_u]Hadley[/name_u], [name_u]Emerson[/name_u]) I didn’t even know were unisex until I got here. I think I just grew up in the unisex names for girls generation.

I’m quite split. Some names I see as masculine, others as feminine. There’s a scarce amount that I associate with both genders.

For example, one of my favourite names for a boy is [name_u]Misha[/name_u] but I wouldn’t use it for a girl, mostly because I was introduced to it by two males. [name_u]James[/name_u] is another name I like on a boy, but I can’t see it at all on a girl (it’s, as a @thirteen_roses said, 100% masculine to me). I tend to prefer word or nature names for girls, but only as middles ([name_f]Snow[/name_f], [name_u]Winter[/name_u], [name_u]Grey[/name_u] etc.). [name_u]Grey[/name_u]/[name_u]Gray[/name_u] is one of the only unisex names I can see on both genders, though I tend to prefer the former spelling for girls and latter, males.