Thank you! Those are my thoughts exactly. ahem
I don’t like, on a girl:
[name]Riley[/name]/ [name]Rylee[/name]/ any other butchered form
[name]Rowan[/name]/ [name]Rowen[/name]
[name]Lindsey[/name]/ [name]Lindsay[/name]
[name]Ryan[/name]/ butchered form
[name]Alexis[/name]
[name]Mackenzie[/name]/ butchered form(s)
And there’s probably a lot more that I’m not thinking of.
Like all names, i think it is up to the parents to choose a name that they love. We all have different tastes and that is a good thing or else we would all have the same names.
My favorite boy name is [name]Sawyer[/name]. [name]Do[/name] I like it for girls? No. I don’t see anything girly about it. [name]Do[/name] I think it is unacceptable for someone to name your daughter that? No. If that is your favorite name, then use it. Would I still use it for my son? Absolutely! [name]Do[/name] I think the girls are stealing those names? No. Take [name]Casey[/name] and [name]Jordan[/name] for instance. They’ve been popular for boy and girls for over a decade and I’ve never heard that boy [name]Casey[/name]'s are weaker than a boy named [name]Matthew[/name] because their are girls out there with the same name. Here are the last posts I’ve done on my blog about unisex names if anyone wants to check them out.
[name]Charli[/name] & [name]Charlie[/name] CHARLI & CHARLIE (unisex names) | FOR REAL BABY NAMES
[name]Addison[/name] & [name]Adyson[/name] ADDISON & ADYSON (unisex names) | FOR REAL BABY NAMES
Why would that name be unusable? Maybe boys dont want ‘girly’ names but many of you think [name]Elliot[/name] is a boys names, not a girl name so why not use it? Everyone seem to think it is a boy name so one or two (thousand) girls with that name DONT make it a girly name. ITs unisex.[/quote]
Oh, I don’t think they are unusable at this point. (I can see where my post made it seem that way though.) I just meant that if girls continue being named [name]Ryan[/name] and [name]Elliot[/name], fewer parents of boys will use them and they will eventually become unusable for boys. (Think [name]Lindsey[/name].) I mean, if your best friend named her daugher [name]Elliot[/name], would you still feel comfortable naming your son [name]Elliot[/name]? Probably not. It would have become a “girl” name in your circle of friends.
I, too, am not a fan of unisex names. I think there are plenty of unfrilly girl names that people can use if they don’t want something too feminine. I don’t understand why people would want to make it difficult to determine a child’s gender with these unisex names. I prefer it to be cut and dried, and I’d prefer nice boy names to stay with the boys instead of becoming trendy girl names.
Why would that name be unusable? Maybe boys dont want ‘girly’ names but many of you think [name]Elliot[/name] is a boys names, not a girl name so why not use it? Everyone seem to think it is a boy name so one or two (thousand) girls with that name DONT make it a girly name. ITs unisex.[/quote]
Oh, I don’t think they are unusable at this point. (I can see where my post made it seem that way though.) I just meant that if girls continue being named [name]Ryan[/name] and [name]Elliot[/name], fewer parents of boys will use them and they will eventually become unusable for boys. (Think [name]Lindsey[/name].) I mean, if your best friend named her daugher [name]Elliot[/name], would you still feel comfortable naming your son [name]Elliot[/name]? Probably not. It would have become a “girl” name in your circle of friends.[/quote]
I see your point. But, I, however, wouldt ever name my child the same as someone close to me. I would never name my daughter [name]Elisabeth[/name] if one of my friends named her child that. Same with unisex. Unless it was on my list since forever.
Oh, I don’t think they are unusable at this point. (I can see where my post made it seem that way though.) I just meant that if girls continue being named [name]Ryan[/name] and [name]Elliot[/name], fewer parents of boys will use them and they will eventually become unusable for boys. (Think [name]Lindsey[/name].) I mean, if your best friend named her daugher [name]Elliot[/name], would you still feel comfortable naming your son [name]Elliot[/name]? Probably not. It would have become a “girl” name in your circle of friends.[/quote]
I see your point. But, I, however, wouldt ever name my child the same as someone close to me. I would never name my daughter [name]Elisabeth[/name] if one of my friends named her child that. Same with unisex. Unless it was on my list since forever.[/quote]
I agree with suzannevk; if a close friend were to use a name for whichever gender I would be unlikely to still consider it, not because of the unisex factor but for the same reason as any other name. If I merely hear of a birth announcement for a girl named [name]Elliot[/name] for someone I don’t know personally (for example), that wouldn’t turn me off of using it for a boy (assuming it was one I liked and was considering anyway).
My wife works in HR and she recently received resumes for college age kids looking for internships. She brought home some resumes and we had a fun time playing guess the applicants gender. It really had us thinking about what we had chosen for our future son or daughter. We think that we want others to denote the childs gender based on their name.
Believe it or not, given two candidates with the same qualifications, most HR people will chose the person with whom they can connect a gender.
I just have a few quick comments.
First, @justme – I’m intrigued by your statement that HR people prefer resumes from people with a clear gender rather than gender-neutral names. I’ve looked around online for studies to back that up, but all I’ve found is the opposite. Girls with gender-neutral names are more likely to go into math or science, girls with gender-neutral names are much more likely to be appointed judges, etc etc. [name]Do[/name] you have a site that you could give us that goes more into this? The only related thing I could find online was that it helps if you include your middle name or a Miss/Mrs/Mr on your resume to help HR out a bit – problem solved?
Second, I find the example of ‘[name]Rowan[/name]’ to be odd in this discussion (and full disclosure: my daughter’s name is [name]Rowan[/name])-- Nameberry says that some scholars believe [name]Rowan[/name] was originally a female name related to [name]Rowena[/name], while other scholars believe that its been always used for both sexes. So it just seems like a bizarre example of a name that, at best, was stolen from the boys, and at worst, was a classless choice on our part. But no offense taken lol. 
Third, (and I’m sorry for repeating this from the last discussion on gender-bending), I don’t see what the big deal is in boys sharing names with girls. I think that when we insist that boys have distinctly masculine names, we perpetuate the whole idea that boys have to be masculine at all times. Choosing soft names or unisex names might be the first way we as parents help our sons embrace balance, right from the beginning.
I’m one of the few people on the fence. There are certain names that can work for girls and guys, and others I absolutely hate on a girl. Like I like [name]Sawyer[/name] and [name]Devon[/name] on a girl but despise [name]Elliot[/name] and [name]Spencer[/name] on a girl. I feel strongly about when you use [name]Spencer[/name] on a girl. It sounds so nice on a boy but so HIDEOUS on a girl to me. I can see a [name]Sawyer[/name] as a girl in a sundress, others I can’t.
I wouldn’t worry about there being no boys names left over, because you have to be super crazy to name your daughter [name]Abraham[/name] or [name]Hugh[/name]. Besides, there are people who will use super frilly names on their girls, so there’s nothing to worry about.
I hate to admit it, but I kind of like some boy’s names on girls. But I would never use one for my own daughter, but for others, its fine. I think I shunned the thought of it so much because its the popular opinion.
For instance, I like [name]Quimby[/name] (Okay, this is more of a surname), [name]Flynn[/name] and [name]Max[/name] (As a nickname).
Names that I think are great but I don’t understand why they are unisex are [name]Grady[/name] and [name]Jasper[/name]. I love those names for boys, I love [name]Jasper[/name] quite a bit 
Why would that name be unusable? Maybe boys dont want ‘girly’ names but many of you think [name]Elliot[/name] is a boys names, not a girl name so why not use it? Everyone seem to think it is a boy name so one or two (thousand) girls with that name DONT make it a girly name. ITs unisex.[/quote]
Oh, I don’t think they are unusable at this point. (I can see where my post made it seem that way though.) I just meant that if girls continue being named [name]Ryan[/name] and [name]Elliot[/name], fewer parents of boys will use them and they will eventually become unusable for boys. (Think [name]Lindsey[/name].) I mean, if your best friend named her daugher [name]Elliot[/name], would you still feel comfortable naming your son [name]Elliot[/name]? Probably not. It would have become a “girl” name in your circle of friends.[/quote]
Regardless of what my best friend named their child, of cours I wouldnt feel comfortable also using that name… Whether it was a daughter namd [name]Sawyer[/name], a son named [name]Ashley[/name] or a son named [name]Peter[/name], [name]Paul[/name] or [name]Joseph[/name]…
Two co-workers at my work have children named [name]Kelly[/name], around the same age, (4ish) one is a boy, one is a girl… They always jolke that “There Kellys will get married” They love it.
I wish namberry had a like" button as facebook does, because I would like your post 1000x!
I agree with just about everything you have to say! and [name]LOVE[/name] the name [name]Rowan[/name]! Good picking!
Most of the names on our list for the boy we are having in the next couple of weeks are boy’s names that have become unisex (eg [name]Sacha[/name], [name]Robin[/name], [name]Avery[/name]). It really doesn’t bother me too much, though I am in Australia and none of these names are popular for either gender.
I think people stress about such things far too much. In the end it’s about an individual name that strums a certain chord for you. I think the way trends are going, people are going to care less and less about gender marking through naming. Isn’t it just another way of saying up yours to the patriarchy?
Incidentally, my children also have double barrel surnames - mine and my husband’s names joined together. They often ask about this and love the idea that because we joined up our bodies to make them, we joined up our names to make their names. And yet other people, complete strangers to us, feel free to consider it an issue.
If you love and support your children and give them a name out of love and respect because it resonates for you, I don’t see how you can go wrong, no matter where society’s tastes lie.
[name]Eglantine[/name], I’m curious–what do you think your children will do when they marry/create a family? I only ask because the last name issue is a big one in my profession. Lots of people look at me funny because I took my husband’s ln. I admit that I’m not always thrilled with that decision (I exchanged a common last name for a weirdly pronounced [name]German[/name] one), but I honestly couldn’t imagine having a different name than my children, or creating a new name. I have students (college-age) with hyphenated names and often wonder what they will do (both men and women) when they marry.
Hopefully non of the [name]Jolie[/name]-[name]Pitt[/name] girls marry men with long last names.
[name]Imagine[/name] [name]Shiloh[/name] [name]Nouvel[/name] [name]Jolie[/name] [name]Pitt[/name]-Schwarzenegger?
Thats actually a very good point,tarat3232, so many families combine the last names these days, esp. with alot of coples not being married when they have a child, they want the kids to have both parents last names, Its an idea I love, but [name]Ive[/name] never really thought about the children when they grow up, not only whn they too get married, but the profession they chose… If they are a doctor, teacher… they will often just go buy last names…
[name]Imagine[/name] a Dr.[name]Jolie[/name] [name]Pitt[/name] Rosdale?
Mrs.[name]Jolie[/name] [name]Pitt[/name] [name]Smith[/name]
Or what if they marry someone with a similar sounding last name, or something that gets you tongue-tied… [name]Jolie[/name]-[name]Pitt[/name]-[name]Peterson[/name].
Or, what if they child they marry also comes from a double last name home.
[name]Jolie[/name] [name]Pitt[/name] [name]Stefani[/name] Rosdale.
Traditionally in Spain, everyone has two last names. The first is their father’s first last name, the second is their mother’s first last name. Women keep their names in marriage. So a family would be named something like this:
[name]Jose[/name] [name]Garcia[/name] [name]Perez[/name] (father) and [name]Lucia[/name] Lopez Covas (Mother) and their daughter [name]Isabel[/name] [name]Garcia[/name] Lopez.
[name]Isabel[/name] would then pass on the [name]Garcia[/name] as the second last name for her children.
Sorry for the delayed reply, but I have been rather busy over the last few days. I live in [name]Canada[/name] and my wife’s company does not require people to put a salutation before their name, and the studies that she used in school and work were mostly Canadian and some were from certain provinces and the like.
I am an author so my name is actually part of my professional identity. Changing it seemed terribly complex because I would have had to function under two different names. Besides, it just didn’t make sense for me to change it, I totally understand why people do, and would never judge anyone’s choices, but I couldn’t do it myself. I like that my surname connects me to my upbringing and history and I felt my husband’s name would align me with his family and his identity and his history, and at that time it didn’t feel right to me - not that I don’t get on with his family but I just didn’t feel connected to them.
We angsted over the name thing a bit when it came to the kids. My husband wouldn’t consider the option of the kids having my name (I think because his conservative parents were still in conniptions that a) we eloped secretly and b) I’d kept my own surname), and I had this stupid irrational fear that if they had his name schools and other institutions might think I wasn’t their real mother and we’d have problems with communication (I think that was probably daft pregnancy obsessive paranoia). Anyway, double-barrelling was the only solution, even if it wasn’t entirely elegant, and the name has come to feel real and special to all of us now - it’s part of our family narrative. At the kid’s school adn kinder we are the R-J family, so in a way it has sort of become mine and my husband’s name as well. Not everyone embraced it, it took years for all the grandparents to accept it (and I don’t think my in-laws ever really have) and many people assume that they will have his name. But they still love the kids (and they still love us) - nothing stands in the way of that.
Obviously it will be completely up to the kids how the resolve the problem when and if they marry. We’ve always said they are welcome to drop a name if they want, so far both find the idea very unappealing. I know couples who have chosen completely new last names when they marry. My daughters might have different values to me and be happy to take their husband’s name. It might take a bit of problem solving, but they’ll find their own solutions I’m sure.
[name]Eglantine[/name]–I think those are very reasonable considerations for the last name dilemma. I’m not sure that my solution will be nearly as elegant professionally (academic–I’m a nerd in every sense of the word). I changed my name, but use both last names professionally. I haven’t published yet, but someday I’m going to have to choose whether I am officially tarat Maiden Married or just tarat Married. I really think that this is an issue that the next few generations will struggle with.
And I know that my in-laws would have PITCHED A FIT had I not changed my name. Kudos to you!