So I was talking with my sister today and I was going through the names that I like for a kid and when I mentioned [name_m]Gilbert[/name_m], she said she would love to nickname the kid “[name_u]Gilly[/name_u]” I do not like the nickname [name_u]Gilly[/name_u], nor [name_u]Bert[/name_u] or [name_u]Bertie[/name_u]. All three sound those annoying nn’s your grandma gives you when you go to visit. I would only use [name_m]Gil[/name_m]. I’m a bit interested to see how all the parents or prospective parents out there deal with things like this (I’m not a parent and won’t be for at least ten years probably) has anyone given or tried to give your child nicknames that you find ugly. And if so, what did you do about it or did you just let them?
I’m not a parent, so I don’t know if what I have to say is any good, but you can’t help what other kids/people will nickname your children. You can give them the nickname (if at all) that you like, but once they start school, the kids may give them another nickname and unless your child tells them not to, it’ll probably stick. They may also dislike the nickname you gave them and pick another one which you don’t like, or allow family members/friends to call them the nickname(s) you don’t like. That’s life. If it bothers you that [name_m]Gilbert[/name_m] may be nicknamed [name_u]Gilly[/name_u], [name_u]Bert[/name_u] or [name_u]Bertie[/name_u], don’t use it, because it’ll probably be shortened.
Thanks! It’s just that [name_u]Gilly[/name_u], [name_u]Bert[/name_u], and [name_u]Bertie[/name_u] sound just so embarrassing/childish to me and I definitely would hate to be called those names if I was named [name_m]Gilbert[/name_m] and [name_m]Gil[/name_m] by itself is too much a nn. I don’t think it would bother me if I named a kid this and he preferred going by those names. i might end up calling him those names if that case, though idk since I’m not in that situation yet. I’d like to think so, anyway. My mom tried to force everyone to call my sister [name_u]Andrea[/name_u] On-dray-uh because [name_f]Ann[/name_f]-dree-uh was the name of Dad’s ex and my sister now only goes my the ex’s name. Idk what my mom thinks about that, but I’m sure I wouldn’t mind if he liked those kind of names and it isn’t a deal-breaker to me just because one of my sisters wants to call him something different.
I’ve had quite a few people try to nickname my son & they’re always corrected & told that he won’t be called any those NN’s. I always try to word it nicely but after having to correct the same person a few times I do end up getting quite blunt with them as by then I just find it disrespectful especially as my sons old enough to decide himself & has never liked his name being shortened.
Thanks for your insight! I’m not certain I’d truly be so assertive as to really correct most people, but that’s just because I’m a fairly passive person. Though, thinking about it there was one case in my family that nicknames and other people’s suggestions was a good idea though! My mom wanted to nickname me Aliss but my great-grandma (passed away when I was 13) stepped in and asked for my nn to be [name_u]Ali[/name_u] instead. I do not like Aliss or my name ([name_f]Alisa[/name_f], continues to be confused for [name_f]Alyssa[/name_f], [name_f]Alicia[/name_f], and [name_f]Alisha[/name_f]) I only go by [name_u]Ali[/name_u], sometimes [name_m]Al[/name_m], and my s/o and her sister calls me only [name_u]Ari[/name_u] (short for my favourite girl name and what I’d change my own name to if I had money)
I think that full names and nicknames are sort of a package deal and I’d only choose names whose most obvious nicknames I didn’t dislike/mind as it could very well be that they go only be their nickname when daycare or school starts. I also think that nicknames should come natural and that people who give nicknames to your child (or generally others) tend to care about them, it’s a sign of friendship and/or love, so I’d never tell others to stop (unless the nickname is rude, etc.).
I think once the child is old enough to have an opinion about their name and say “I don’t like that nickname/can you please not call me that”, I’m going to stay out of it as I don’t think it’s business anymore.
Before, I’ll introduce them by their full name and since I’ve never met a person who started calling others by a nickname from the moment they’ve met (unless instructed), I don’t think there will be a problem until that person plays a bigger part in their lives and when that is the case, I’ll handle (or not handle) it as described above!
This makes sense! Thanks for your thoughts!
Here’s the thing about a name - it’s a gift to the child, who then owns it and does with it what they wish. Parents don’t get to correct others for very long. I personally think that’s quite rude, not to mention useless, to correct someone unless the nickname was hurtful or mean-spirited, or the child spoke up for themselves and said they prefer a different name. As someone else said - if you love a name but strongly dislike an obvious nickname for that name, you should probably go with something else entirely.
Thanks for your thoughts. Ultimately it’s up to the person in question, the kid. It is the kid’s name, not the parents, after all. I really don’t think I would mind someone calling a kid a nickname (regardless of the name) I don’t like to the point of crossing the name of my shortlist. [name_m]Gilbert[/name_m] is one my absolute favourite names. I still find [name_u]Gilly[/name_u] to sound fairly embarrassing because of the childlike sound, but I believe earlier I gave an example about another one of my sisters. My mom hated that pronunciation of [name_u]Andrea[/name_u] that my sister uses to the point of correcting everyone when she was a kid, and my sister still uses it.
Thanks everyone for all your input on this topic. I really appreciate it.
From my experience longer names like [name_m]Alexander[/name_m], [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] and [name_m]Maximilian[/name_m] tend to almost invariably get shortened where I live. I think that since [name_m]Gilbert[/name_m] has only two syllables it’s short enough for you to avoid an unwanted nickname.
Thank you for your thoughts. I’ve decided that I wouldn’t mind too badly if it’s just certain members of the family doing it (such as my sister or my mom or whatever) though I (and the s/o) would use [name_m]Gil[/name_m] for short. I also wouldn’t mind if the child wanted to be called [name_u]Gilly[/name_u] over [name_m]Gil[/name_m] and [name_m]Gilbert[/name_m]. My main issue is the way that [name_u]Gilly[/name_u] and [name_u]Bertie[/name_u] sound to me and the fact that I associate them with cutesy nicknames, I think.
NN consideration has been huge in our selection of names for our children. If a name has an obvious short form that we do not like, we won’t use it, no matter how lovely the full name is. For example, my husband and I both love [name_m]Patrick[/name_m], but do not like [name_u]Pat[/name_u], [name_f]Patty[/name_f], [name_u]Paddy[/name_u] at all as a NN/short form. Given how common and obvious those forms are, we recognize that we cannot reasonably avoid people using those forms of the name forever, especially once the child is of school age, and we decided to axe the name from consideration as a result. Same with names like [name_m]Joshua[/name_m] or [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m] - both perfectly fine names, but hubby doesn’t like [name_m]Josh[/name_m], and I don’t like [name_m]John[/name_m]. If it has an obvious NN or short form, we have to agree that we like that form enough to be used interchangeably with the full form, because it is going to happen.
My 1st child’s name is [name_u]Owen[/name_u], and we selected this name in part because there are no obvious NN/short forms that could be embarrassing or annoying. For some reason, my husband’s parents started calling him “Owie” which drives us both nuts. It took 3 years for hubby to actually speak up, but it was made clear that that is not his name, nor do we like it or find it cute or endearing. It’s just obnoxious and whiny sounding to us. We hear the slip every now and then, but it seems to be improving. I see absolutely nothing wrong with correcting people, especially in instances where the NN they use is a pretty ridiculous leap vs. an obvious short form.
Not a parent, but personally I did get the NNs I disliked. In my case, just correcting people may or may not work. So in the future when I have my own kids, I prefer not to use the names with obvious nicknames that I don’t like at all.
Thank you for your thoughts! Wow, Owie sounds like an awful nn to have. I’ve just kind of gotten to accept that [name_u]Gilly[/name_u] isn’t that bad. I still don’t exactly like it much, but I like the name more than I dislike the obvious nn’s.
Thank you. I don’t think I would toss out any name, especially boy names (I like so few of them and even less combos) because of the nn’s I dislike unless if was a nickname I really really really hated (haven’t found any that turn me off enough to dislike a name). I’m just asking for thoughts on similar situations.
On that topic of unwanted nn’s for myself, my own name has so few nn options and I don’t like any of them or my name. In fact, most of my nn’s that I do get from peole stem from my most common nn, or from my favourite name, Arsinoe, and not my full name.