I’m pleased to announce that [name_m]Harold[/name_m] [name_m]William[/name_m] has arrived, early but healthy! That’s right, we have three boys! (still getting my head around that!). We have had him home for almost a week and I can say that having three kids under three is even harder than I ever imagined, but at the same time, it feels absolutely perfect (well most of the time)!
Of course I have a question for my nameberry friends!
Does anyone have any tips on minimising sibling rivalries with a new arrival?
So far both of the older boys are great with [name_m]Harold[/name_m], no issues there, but his arrival has stirred up rivalry between the two of them- they are constantly fighting over toys ([name_u]Max[/name_u] used to be a gold star sharer!), pushing, hairpulling, scratching (doesn’t matter how often I cut [name_m]Felix[/name_m]'s nails, he still manages to scratch!) etc.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you think that this will ease off as [name_m]Harold[/name_m] settles in, or will it get worse!? With the two older boys being only just over 12 months apart ([name_u]Max[/name_u] turning 3 and [name_m]Felix[/name_m] 2 next month), rivalry has always been a big concern of mine, I want them to grow up not feeling as though they are in competition with each other!
Sorry for rambling, just having a little freak out!
My oldest are girls an they can get into fights every now and then. They are still young so maybe not always able to verbalized their issues. I just explain to them that you don’t fight with family. You love your family, you protect your family and you care for your family. And when that doesn’t work because it doesn’t always then I just remove from the situation and explain in child appropriate language that it is unacceptable.
Thank you for the reassurance- the boys have been a bit better over the holiday season (and birthday season in our house!), hopefully it will stay this way!
Congratulations! I love the name [name_m]Harold[/name_m].
We had three under three. [name_u]James[/name_u] was 2.5 and [name_m]Will[/name_m] was 1.5 when [name_f]Elise[/name_f] was born. The boys definitely picked on each other (or, more accurately, [name_u]James[/name_u] picked on [name_m]Will[/name_m]) both before and after [name_f]Elise[/name_f] made her appearance. I can see those dynamics really well now when I look at old video clips that we took at that time.
The best advice I can offer you is to 1) get a postpartum helper/nanny/doula that will help you give attention to both older boys as well as the baby (and don’t forget yourself!), and 2) figure out how to spend time with each of the older boys individually. This second thing is really tough to do (you will have to enlist the help of a few other adults) but it is really important.
The good news is that a little bit of special time with each of them goes a long way. The bad news is that, now that our older three are 9, 8, and almost 7, I can confirm that the sibling rivalry between close-in-age siblings won’t go away anytime soon (especially if you decide to have more children).
Best of luck and please keep us updated.
[name_f]Laura[/name_f]