Using a name friends and family have already used (twice!)?
Hello berries! My husband ([name_m]German[/name_m]) and I (American) are expecting our first and likely only child, a boy, and I feel like we need some non-familial input on a potential conundrum.
Our favorite boys’ name has been [name_m]Theodor[/name_m]/[name_u]Theo[/name_u] since before I was pregnant, but recently, both a close friend of mine and my cousin (who both live in the US) have had little Theos. My friend’s son will be almost two years older than our own, though, and unfortunately (since we live in Germany), we probably won’t get to see much of her family, and I haven’t seen or even talked to my cousin in about fifteen years. (No animosity – we’re just not very close with that side of the family.)
[name_u]Theo[/name_u] has also, of course, gotten more popular than we’d hoped in countries, so these two little Theos are unlikely to be the only ones our son encounters anyway. So is this a big deal? It obviously feels a little strange, but since it’s still our top choice, we’re very reluctant to let it go!
In case it helps, the other names on our shortlist are: [name_m]Benedict[/name_m], [name_u]August[/name_u], [name_m]Arthur[/name_m]
Names we can’t use, for various reasons: [name_m]Henry[/name_m], [name_m]Samuel[/name_m], [name_m]Casper[/name_m], [name_m]Julian[/name_m], [name_m]Adrian[/name_m], [name_m]Anton[/name_m], [name_m]Mateo[/name_m], [name_u]Max[/name_u]
Since you’re not close to them or seeing each other regularly and it’s a name that’s gained popularity, I’d say use [name_m]Theodor[/name_m]. It’s not quite the same as [name_u]Theo[/name_u] to cause upset but it means you get the nn [name_u]Theo[/name_u] and your top choice
This is a dilemma only you can solve. To some people when a friend or family member uses their favorite name, it takes away the excitement. A name that previously gave them butterflies of excitement now makes them sigh and think meh… It’s still handsome but just not the same. And if this is the case, if the excitement is gone, I think it’s best to look for a new name.
For others the name still gives them butterflies of excitement. The thought of not using the name makes them sad. They feel strange using a name that’s “taken” but their feelings for the name have not changed. If you fit into this scenario (it sounds like you do) absolutely use it. Any awkwardness you feel (if you feel any) using the name will be gone 2 days after you announce it. He’ll have his name his whole life, you shouldn’t settle for a name you’re not as excited about just because you know of other people who also like the name and uses it. Especially since you won’t be seeing them frequently.
Good luck and congratulations!
I agree with the previous posters. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t give up the name if you only decide to do so because you feel like it’s what other people are expecting you to do. If you both still love the name, then I’d say use it for sure! The fact that he would share a name (or nickname) with some other little boys you know will probably not even be an issue after the birth announcement, since it seems like your [name_m]Theodor[/name_m] and the other little Theos won’t be together very often. And even if so, I bet the kids would think it was a cool connection.
Besides, you already have the extra difficulty of choosing a name that works for two countries and languages, so I urge you to not give up your favorite name unless you personally decide that you want to.
Coming from an almost similar situation (not pregnant at the moment but one of my best friends used a top contender which is a rare name) Now unfortunately for me I see her maybe once - twice a month, in the same city and we have the same circle of friends.
Sounds like you can get away with using the longer [name_m]Theodor[/name_m] nn [name_u]Theo[/name_u] due to location and hardly seeing them there should not be an issue.
Since your child would meet these [name_u]Theo[/name_u]’s very rarely, I wouldn’t say the shared name is an issue. The popularity of the name where you live (and [name_u]America[/name_u] if you are considering moving there) are the only things I would really worry about.
We have had lots of repeated names used within our extended family and it has never been a big deal, if anything it is seen as quite lovely and familiar. I say go with the name you love, you might regret finding something new that you dont share the same attachment for…
I’m going back everyone else up. I would use it. [name_u]Theo[/name_u] and [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] have been rising. There are at least 6 little [name_u]Theo[/name_u]'s on my social media accounts. I’m sure my area may be a hot spot, but it’s rising everywhere. If we were talking about something rare like, or less popular like say [name_m]Reuben[/name_m] and these people were closer I might say reconsider to avoid conflict (even then at the end of day you should use what feels right to you). However, this is [name_u]Theo[/name_u] we are talking about. Your cousin and your friend likely knew that [name_u]Theo[/name_u] was gaining steam if they did any amount of research and aren’t living under a rock. They knew there would be plenty of other [name_u]Theo[/name_u]'s around the same age. That’s just how it goes if you name within the top 200 especially if the name has been on the rise. If [name_u]Theo[/name_u] still makes you happy, use it.
People dont own names. If you really love the name and you think this is your only chance to use it…then use it. You could always use it in the middle spot too if you’re really unsure about the popularity and how many other [name_u]Theo[/name_u]'s you may meet.
I would use them. [name_m]Theodor[/name_m] nn. [name_u]Theo[/name_u] or just [name_u]Theo[/name_u]. If you rarely see these people, and it’s such a common name right now, and you’ve loved it for so long–don’t let it go! If it was a highly unusual name and/or you saw them all the time, maybe I would be concerned about “copying” them, but honestly, even if it was and I loved it so much, I might use it regardless. If it was your sibling’s child or best friend’s child, that would make me reconsider, but many names are repeated in families anyway and [name_u]Theo[/name_u] is a great choice.
