Using family names you personally dislike

[name_m]Say[/name_m] you had a family member with a name you didn’t particularly like - maybe it’s dated, unattractive or you just plain dislike the name, but you still wished to pay tribute to its bearer when naming your kid. Would you pass the name on anyway because you love the relative enough despite disliking their name, or not use it/come up with an alternative that you liked better?

I’ve been thinking this topic over myself as there are quite a few names in my family I dislike and wouldn’t ever use, and as choosing a name that wouldn’t cause me embarrassment if it were mine is important, I’d rather leave them out altogether. [name_m]How[/name_m] does everyone else feel about family names they don’t like?

Personally, if I didn’t like a family name I just wouldn’t use it.
The family member knows I love them without passing on their name to my child, and I’d want my child to have an attractive name! Plus a name that I like saying. I mean, if you went through the process of becoming a parent you deserve as much!
If I really wanted to honor someone I’d use a name with a similar meaning, a variation, or be creative and use the family member’s favorite flower, maiden name etc

If honouring them meant a lot to me, but I reeeeallllyyy hated the name, I’d find another way to honour them. Maybe a diminutive (hate [name_f]Margaret[/name_f]? Maybe [name_f]Maisie[/name_f] or [name_f]Maggie[/name_f] or even [name_m]Peal[/name_m] instead), their middle name, their surname, their birth month, their birth season, their birthstone/flower, their favourite bird or place to travel etc etc etc.

I feel like there’s a difference between naming after and naming in honor of, but both convey the same idea: that this person made a positive impression and their legacy will go on. I’m currently navigating this in effort to honor my grandma and grandpa who are both [name_f]Frances[/name_f]/is. I love the meaning of the name both personally and in general, but I don’t like the name itself. Testing out [name_m]Franco[/name_m] as an alternative.

I think you can honor someone without directly naming your kid after them, alla previous posters’ suggestions of finding a tangential link to the person that would be meaningful to you both. Variations work well and are probably the easiest connection to make, but the person’s favorite flower/color/author or significant place names could work well too.

I’m not too big a fan of any of my family’s names (or family names in general). One side is quite dated, and the other is completely not my style. At best, I’d be okay with using them as a middle. The way I work around it is using similar names I do like or things I associate with them. For example I used to have [name_f]Georgiana[/name_f] (a name I really like) for [name_f]Georgina[/name_f] and [name_f]Ann[/name_f], which are just okay to me. I even count [name_f]Pandora[/name_f] and [name_f]Evanthe[/name_f] as honours, as well as [name_f]Ann[/name_f]- and -ana names, because they have ‘An’ in them. I plan to honour my dad by giving my first daughter a name with a positive combined meaning, as he did with my name. It’s something I love about my name, and is a bit of a trend on my paternal side. [name_m]Caspian[/name_m] reminds me of the time I spent watching the [name_f]Narnia[/name_f] TV series with my mum, so there’s significance there. I don’t mind honour names being a stretch, because hopefully you’d have the chance to explain the importance of the name to your children.

Well, some names you can kinda play around with. Like if you want to name your daughter after your grandma, [name_u]Jean[/name_u] is a variant of [name_f]Jane[/name_f], [name_f]Betty[/name_f] is a variant of [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], [name_f]Mae[/name_f]/[name_f]May[/name_f] is a short form of [name_f]Mary[/name_f]. Stuff like that. But honestly, if you hate the name so much that you don’t want to use it, just don’t.

I’m not a big fan of family names in general, so I’d have to really like it to use it. If I did still decide i wanted to honour, I’d definitely come up with an alternative - something with a similar meaning or sound, a name starting with the same letter or even just a name that reminds me of the person?
I’m quite open to more obscure/discrete honours (as an example, I’d use [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] to honour [name_f]Jane[/name_f] because [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] Brontë wrote [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_f]Eyre[/name_f]) but I think it totally depends on what you think works as an honour

If the relative is still living I would ask them for their favorite names and see if anything strikes your fancy.