Using the same girls name as a friend

My husband has loved the name [name]Norah[/name] for a long time (since before we got married 4 years ago). My friend who lives far away and we meet maybe 1 time per year has a 1 year old daughter named [name]Norah[/name]. This is the only name my husband and I both love. My friend is on the fence about us naming a daughter [name]Norah[/name]. We have one child and it would not both me if the neighbor used the same name. You are always going to find someone with the same name as your child.

What do I do? My friend and I have only discussed via email. Is it too strange for us to have the same name? We are friends, but not best friends. We have known each other for many years (10 plus). I feel like the strange feelings will dissolve as our daughters get older. Please help, I am due in 11 weeks.


Given the physical distance between you and your friend, I don’t think using the same name is a big deal. I think you need to have an honest talk with your friend, though, to make sure she feels the same way. She might feel proprietary about the name and threatened for some reason if you use it. It’s a lovely name, but there are other equally wonderful names out there. If it came to that, is the name worth more than your friendship?

I don’t think it should come to that, personally; if I chose a certain name and a faraway friend wanted to use it, I would be fine with it. When I thought I was having a boy, the name I really wanted to use is the same name as a friend who lives in another country gave her son last year. I was ready to have the conversation, and to be flexible either way.

Good luck!

I would go for it. In the world there are many people named [name]Norah[/name], and one is not going to propel it to worldwide [name]Emma[/name]-like status. Names can be a sensitive topic, but your friend, I imagine, will come to accept your decision, or at least should do. The physical distance between you makes the matter of your children having the same name even more trivial, in my opinion.

[name]Norah[/name] is a beautiful name, by the way :slight_smile:

Good luck!

Go with your heart and name your daughter, [name]Norah[/name]. No one owns a name.

You have already explained your long time love of the name to your friend and I am sure that she knows you are not copycatting (is that a word?), and no it is not strange for you both to have a child with the same name. The girls will probably love the idea, and it may draw you all closer.

If you are still feeling uneasy phone her and have a heart to heart so that you feel you have her blessing (not that you need it except for your own satisfaction).

Good luck

My mom and her best friend both have children with the same names. Actually two sets of kids with the same names (different middles). We probably saw her family once a year as they lived far away. And when we did get together us older kids felt honored that there were two younger girls with our names that were my mother’s best friends kids. I dont think that its a big deal to do this at all. Go with the name you love.

Ugh…tough situation. Have you thought about using other variations of the name [name]Norah[/name], and then [name]Norah[/name] as the nickname to get around it?

Here are some:


I would use it. [name]Norah[/name] is really pretty and considering the distance between you and your friend, I don’t think it is really a problem. Go for it!

I am on the fence about this.
As no one “owns” a name, you can name your daughter any name you like. A woman who lives down the road from me, who was becoming a friend (if that makes sense - our older girls are in class together) used the same name as me. And I am talking about a name in the 300’s that is not popular (though reading these posts makes me see that others are thinking of this name too!)
My daughter does view this baby as a “namesake” and likes it. I personally hate it. Granted, you do not live down the street from your friend but I have to make it clear which girl I am talking about ALL THE TIME. And I also spent a lot of time thinking about these names. She did not.
That said, it is YOUR baby and you can name it whatever you want. I think you are being very respectful to your friend.
I liked the suggestion of going with a more formal name with the nickname [name]Norah[/name]. good luck!

I think if your friend understands that your husband “picked” this name long ago and it is one of the few (or maybe only) name you can agree on, she cannot possibly fault you. You are not copying her and have every right to use it. A REAL friend would not hold that against you. Only seeing her once a year means it will have no actual affect on your lives. It might be fun (in a friendship bonding kind of way) to know you are both calling out “[name]Norah[/name]” like the other one is everyday. You said she lives far away. Remind her that there are going to be several Norahs in between you and her. Neither girl is going to be the only one. She will adjust to it if she is a true friend.

I totally understand your friend being offset by you naming your baby [name]Norah[/name] because I know when I think of baby names I eliminate all family and friend names as I want my child to have something different than the rest of the people I know (which is hard)…but with that said if you and your hubby love the name then you should name your daughter [name]Norah[/name].
Clearly this name means a lot to you as you are having a hard time with this decision. AND the fact that your friend lives far away makes it easier I think.
Also, you don’t live with your friend but you will live with your child and therefore have to say the name everyday for the rest of your life, so why not name your child something you will love saying :slight_smile:

Congrats! and GOOD [name]LUCK[/name] :slight_smile:

This happened with two friends of mine with the name [name]Abigail[/name] a few years ago. They are quite good friends living in the same city and see each other regularly. One had a baby girl and named her [name]Abigail[/name] about 6 months after the other friend had a baby girl given the same name. She was quick to tell everyone that they had discussed using the name with the other friend before officially announcing the choice and that it had been done with the friend’s blessing.

I quite imagine they would have gone ahead anyway, but to me discussing it with (or perhaps warning!) the friend seemed like the decent thing to do.

It’s good that you’ve talked to your friend about it. I would be a little surprised if she forbid you from using the name, hopefully she’ll do the decent thing and release you from any ‘copy-cat’ guilt if that’s the way she sees it. As others have said it is of course entirely up to you what you name your daughter and [name]Norah[/name] is a lovely choice.

All the best :slight_smile:

I dont think anyone owns a name. It is also hard to come up with a name that both partners love. Your friend should be understanding and come around.
btw…our first choice in a girl’s name right now is [name]Honorah[/name] nn [name]Honey[/name]/Nory…
so I love the name [name]Norah[/name]! beautiful… good luck (:

If you were best friends who saw each other daily, I think that would be one thing, but like you said, you’re not best friends, and you see each other only once a year. Because of this, I personally think it would be sad to avoid [name]Norah[/name], a beautiful name and one on which you and your husband agree.

Best wishes to you! :slight_smile: