We are having our second baby in [name_f]February[/name_f]. We have decided on [name_f]Cressida[/name_f] as a first name if it’s a girl and I’d like to use [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] as a middle.
My fathers middle is [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] as is my grandmothers (also spelt [name_u]Vivian[/name_u]).
The question is should we continue the tradition and use [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] or spell it the prettier girlier way [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f]
Thanks!
[name_f]Cressida[/name_f] is plenty feminine, I don’t think you need to alter a family middle name for that reason. [name_u]Vivian[/name_u], despite once being a boys name is viewed as completely feminine these days.
I also think the more paired down [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] is a better fit with [name_m]Caspar[/name_m] [name_m]Dennis[/name_m] and [name_f]Cressida[/name_f]. Some people also pronounce [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] differently from [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] (vih-vee-ENNE vs [name_f]VIV[/name_f]-ee-an) so you avoid that as well.
For us it was totally a pronunciation issue as we really wanted to avoid [name_f]Vivi[/name_f]-[name_f]ANNE[/name_f] so we went with [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f].
However, since you are using it as an honor name in the middle I would just keep the family spelling.
I would use [name_u]Vivian[/name_u].
I personally prefer [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f], and if you’re describing it as prettier, it sounds like you do too. It’s the same name, so you’re keeping the tradition, just expanding the options for future generations.
As for pronunciation issues, that’s really only a first name problem. I can’t think of any instance off the top of my head where someone other than family would be saying her middle name without her telling it to them first.
Middles out in the world are usually just initials, or simply on paper, not really spoken unless, again, by the owner of the name or their family (who would obviously know the correct way to say it). I think you’re good on that front. =]
Basically, just go with whichever spelling you personally prefer, because you’re honoring your family either way and it’s a lovely tradition to continue.
Keep the family spelling! I love [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] but [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] is great too, and I don’t see any reason to change the spelling for a middle name when you already have a girly first name. Good luck!
When used as a first name, I very often do prefer [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f]. In this case, however, I think [name_f]Cressida[/name_f] [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] is lovely! As someone else mentioned, [name_f]Cressida[/name_f] is plenty feminine as is :).
I much prefer [name_u]Vivian[/name_u]. I’d leave it as such. [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] makes me pronounce it “[name_f]VIV[/name_f]-ee-un” but [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] makes me want to pronounce it “viv-ee-[name_f]ANNE[/name_f]”
I prefer [name_u]Vivian[/name_u]!
I prefer [name_u]Vivian[/name_u]. I think [name_f]Cressida[/name_f] [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] sounds and looks better.
I definitely prefer [name_u]Vivian[/name_u]. It is my favorite spelling in genera and it is the family spelling in your case so it makes it that much sweeter 
Keep the family name. It will be more special to your daughter to look at the family tree & see how her name has been passed down
Hey frobskottle! I agree with the majority here; I visually like the [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] spelling better, but since you are using it as a middle name I think the family spelling is probably the way to go. Although, it sounds like you are leaning towards the girlier prettier [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] so if that’s the case then I would use that version. Either way, I’m sure your relatives will be ecstatic and honored to be linked to your little one!
The two spellings have slightly different energy to me. [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] is more fiery, imperious, and brimming with life, while [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] is more delicate, whimsical, and fairy-like. It’s a matter of which energy appeals to you more. I generally prefer [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f], but I do like the look of [name_f]Cressida[/name_f] [name_u]Vivian[/name_u].
Does your SO also prefer [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f]? If so, I’d say you could certainly do that, otherwise I think it’d be better to stick with tradition since it has direct ties to two relatives.