Respondents: 90 (This poll is closed)
Stranger things have certainly happened, but I think you should keep looking around a bit before you settle on [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] again.
Surprisingly, I don’t disagree with any of your reasoning in your post. If you love [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] that much, and if that’s the only possible name you can imagine calling your potential second son, then go for it. Personally though, I’d want my own name. What if you happen to have a third son in the distant future? [name_m]Will[/name_m] he be [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] II?
I don’t think you’re insane or uncreative for wanting to use your favourite name again, but there are hundreds of names out there to choose from. One of them might jump out at you as the perfect fit for your new baby.
If it is that important to you, then I think you could get away with it. Especially if you can’t find anything else that you two agree on…if nothing else holds a candle to [name_u]Ellis[/name_u], then you’d both just be regretting not using it in favor of something else. I’d still keep your eyes open for other options, just in case.
I wouldn’t do it personally, sorry. I understand that you love the name, but that’s why you chose it for your first son. It’s not just that it seems a little “unimaginative” to choose the same name again for baby 2, it’s also that [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] is your firstborn’s “special” name from the two of you - the one you chose for him just because you loved it, not because of family tradition or expectation. I think it’s wonderful that he has both a family name and a beloved favourite of yours, and I think it would somewhat diminish that (from both children’s points of view) to reuse the name for your second child.
There are so many wonderful names out there that fit the “cool classic” bill like [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] - surely there’s something else that appeals?! Perhaps your love for [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] is stopping you from appreciating all the other really great options out there?
Some ideas:
[name_m]Harris[/name_m]
[name_m]Willis[/name_m]
[name_u]Elliot[/name_u]
[name_u]Roscoe[/name_u]
[name_m]Jarvis[/name_m]
[name_m]Felix[/name_m]
[name_m]Magnus[/name_m]
[name_m]Rufus[/name_m]
[name_m]Huxley[/name_m]
[name_m]Linus[/name_m]
[name_m]Amos[/name_m]
[name_m]Abel[/name_m]
[name_m]Angus[/name_m]
[name_m]Fergus[/name_m]
[name_m]Silas[/name_m]
[name_m]Dashiell[/name_m]
[name_u]Rex[/name_u]
[name_m]Cosmo[/name_m]
[name_m]Hugo[/name_m]
[name_m]Heriot[/name_m]
[name_m]Bennet[/name_m]
[name_u]Pascoe[/name_u]
[name_m]Finbar[/name_m]
[name_m]Boaz[/name_m]
[name_m]Otto[/name_m]
[name_m]Wilder[/name_m]
Go for it! My great-grandmother had 7 boys named [name_m]Henry[/name_m] [name_m]Joseph[/name_m], [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] [name_u]Michael[/name_u], [name_u]Michael[/name_u] [name_m]David[/name_m], [name_m]David[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [name_u]James[/name_u], [name_u]James[/name_u] [name_m]Andrew[/name_m], and [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] [name_m]Robert[/name_m]. It’s never been an issue for them and as men I don’t think they ever think about it!
Agree 100%
It has nothing to do with parents not being imaginative or what others think, it has to do about the children. Each child should have a special name that is theirs.
I voted no but not because you’re unimaginative. It seems like a sure fire way to stir up sibling rivalry. It also seems like your taking the name away from your older son because he probably won’t use it. I totally get the temptation. We have 7 children and my 9 year old’s middle name is [name_f]Rose[/name_f]. Recently I was considering naming a future girl [name_f]Rosemary[/name_f] and my daughter was bothered by it he similarity between [name_f]Rose[/name_f] and [name_f]Rosemary[/name_f].
I think it would be best to find something else if possible. Why? Flexibility in the future. One of my children started using his middle name in elementary school and has never gone back. Another kid in his class did the same thing that same year. I know plenty of people of all ages that have shifted from middle to first or first to middle during their lifetimes. The reasons vary, but naming your new child your first son’s middle essentially takes that option away from your first child. [name_m]Just[/name_m] something to consider.
I completely agree with both @katinka and @lovemysweeties. Each child should have their own unique name that is theirs. I personally share a family mn with several aunts and cousins, but that does not bother me; if my mom had used that name on one of my sisters, however, it would feel less like mine, like I couldn’t be the only one to carry on the family name. And I think it’s the same for personal favorites as it is with my family name example.
Use [name_u]Ellis[/name_u]. Who even knows anybody’s middle names?
I don’t have any older siblings, but if my first name was my older sister’s middle name, I think I would feel like my name wasn’t very special; you came up with a name you so loved for big sis, but you just weren’t feeling inspired when it was my turn to be named ? I also don’t think hearing that “we used it twice because we loved it so much” would be any consolation for not being given an individual name. I know it’s hard when you feel like you just don’t love anything else, but you should definitely keep looking.
I knew a set of 3 sisters when I was younger whose parents did this. No one in school really knew or realized but my mom was childhood friends with their mother so we knew of the connection. The parents divorced years later and the father remarried and continued the tradition with his 4th daughter! I always thought it was kind of cool! I say go for it, if you had 3 boys you could use [name_u]Ellis[/name_u]’ middle as his 1st. Or pick a gender neutral name you would be happy naming a boy or girl next?
I think the notion that each kid has to have their “own special name” or it will do them some sort of psychological harm is putting way too much stock in middle names. The kid having the same middle name as their brother’s first name is not going to be disturbing to the kid or cause sibling rivalry. I know a family where every child had the same middle name, and a family where none of the kids have middle names, and I’m sure we know families with Jrs. and Srs. and even IIIs and IVs. None of these people have a diminished sense of their own individuality or their parents’ love for them.
[name_m]How[/name_m] old is your son? What if you asked him about it, so that if he agrees to it, it’s sort of like he was “giving” his middle name to his brother? You could even let him pick out a different middle name if he wanted!
None of these people have a diminished sense of their own individuality or their parents’ love for them.
Well that’s a blanket statement and is certainly not the case from my experience. I have known plenty of people, adults included, who hate being a junior, hate having the same middle name as other relatives, or hate not having a middle name. I never hear parental love being called into question but as children people can have really strong (and silly and maybe unfounded depending on who you ask) feelings about all kinds of things, what they eat, what they wear, what their called for their whole life etc. Not to say that children or adults with these feelings will suffer emotional or psychological damage if they don’t get a unique middle name or whatever, but I guess I just think why NOT at least try to give your child an individual name?
I have an [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] so I understand your love for the name. That being said, I think you should keep searching. I have 3 sons and a daughter. I’m pregnant with boy 4 (baby 5), and I feel the same way as you. I have used all the names I really really love. I just can’t imagine using one of my sons’ middle names for the new baby. I agree with other posters that each child should have their own name. Not that it will do psychological damage by any means, it just seems weird to me to have two kids who share a name. Then again, there are worse things! Good luck.
[name_m]How[/name_m] old is your first son? It would have made more sense for him to go by [name_u]Ellis[/name_u]. I assume it’s too late for that, although he could still choose to go by [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] at any point in his life. That option for him will definitely be eliminated if he has a brother with the same name. Something to think about.
Any of these interest you?
[name_m]Miles[/name_m]
[name_m]Davis[/name_m]
[name_m]Amias[/name_m]
[name_m]Caius[/name_m]
[name_m]Cassius[/name_m]
[name_m]Hayes[/name_m]
[name_m]Otis[/name_m]
[name_u]Rhys[/name_u]
[name_m]Silas[/name_m]
[name_u]Quinn[/name_u]
[name_m]Thayer[/name_m]
[name_m]Vaughn[/name_m]
[name_m]Wesley[/name_m]
[name_m]Rhett[/name_m]
[name_u]Lennox[/name_u]
[name_m]Kellan[/name_m]
[name_m]Jasper[/name_m]
[name_m]Dashiell[/name_m]
[name_m]Calvin[/name_m]
[name_m]Callum[/name_m]
[name_m]Brooks[/name_m]
…
Thanks everyone! I see all sides for sure. For those who may think I’m not trying to find another option - OF COURSE I am trying to avoid using the same name - but the simple truth is nothing holds a candle to it for his father or me. I have been searching far and wide for inspiration, too. And there is something about naming a second kid a name I just don’t love the same way that feels wrong to me. Obviously if it were my first son’s first name it wouldn’t be an option, but as it’s the middle name I do think it can be in the running. Definitely not ideal. Would be nice if the universe gave me a girl so I can avoid all this mess 
Perhaps sharing a name can even be something that creates a bond between my two potential boys. If it were a family name I doubt anyone would even blink! And although I understand emotions running high on names (I hated mine until I was old enough to know better), perhaps sharing might help with the precious snowflake syndrome a lot of kids have?
I’d like to push back against the idea that by using her older son’s middle name as a first for her younger son, the OP will be in some way violating son #1’s “right” to a “special name.”
First of all, no one’s name is special. Unless your parents made up your name completely using a random assortment of Scrabble tiles, you share your name with at least one other person on the planet. In many families – my own included – the same name(s) will be shared by multiple members. [name_m]Son[/name_m] #1 doesn’t “own” his middle name; he is in no way being wronged should his parents decide to use that name for a brother. It isn’t even unusual.
Second of all, I think we here at NB seriously overthink the importance of middle names. In the course of a person’s life, they will typically write their middle name on official documents…and that’s about it. Thinking about my own circle of friends, I don’t know anybody’s middle name. I don’t know my coworkers’ middle names; I don’t know my students’ middle names. Of my relatives, I know the middle names of my mother and sister…and that’s it. Middle names are not that important. They certainly are not in any way central to a (sane) person’s identity.
Nope - I adore my first son’s first name as much as [name_u]Ellis[/name_u]! And he was named after my late uncle, a real gem. Thanks for all the name suggestions!
I agree entirely @lee_augusta. It is rare to know another’s middle name…even those with whom we are quite close!