WDYT About Bedroom Sharing?

Would you ever have your kids share a bedroom? Or, if you already have kids, do they share?

Personally (provided I can afford it) I wouldn’t as I think every child needs somewhere private they can go to be alone, but I also know that it can give siblings a bond that they wouldn’t otherwise have. I would also never have boys and girls share above age 5, but I’ve heard of some people doing it until around 12/13. What do you plan to do, or do already?

I think it really depends on a lot of factors, including each child’s individual needs. Whilst I think most people would give their kids a room each if they could afford it, there’s plenty of people who can’t, and I’ve actually known a few people who’s kids prefer to share a room, at least when they were young.

The guidelines here are that for council tenants (people who live in government owned property) different sex children are entitled to their own rooms once they’re 8, but same-sex kids are expected to share until they move out. But for me personally, I’d rather have different sex siblings that are 8 and 10 share a room than same sex siblings aged 8 and 15, for example.

For what it’s worth, most people I know shared a room with a same sex sibling until they were teenagers or even right through to adulthood. My mum and her sister shared a room until they were 18 and 21, and neither of them were bothered by it.

I would have hated to share a room with my sister, we get on really well and sometimes when there were house guests we’d share, but that was always a ‘fun treat’ rather than us actually having to share space all the time. We’d probably have had some massive fall outs if we’d had to share.

I would much rather give all my children separate space. I don’t know what I would do regarding different sexes and sharing.

I really want to avoid having my kids share a room. The only time I’ve ever shared a room with my siblings was about 4 months when we lived in an apartment while we waited for our house to finish being built. I was 5 at the time and my sister was almost 2. Other than that, I’ve spent a couple nights in the same room as one or both of my sisters when we’re on vacation but that’s it.

I share a room now as a sophomore in college and I hate it. I love my roommate to death, and she’s one of my best friends. We get along well, never fight, rarely disagree, but I’ve realized over the last year that I need my own space. It’s gotten to the point where I plan my day around when she has class because that’s when I know I’ll be able to get the most work done. I’m looking forward to when I can go home and have my own room again.

I shared a room with both my younger brother and younger sister until I was 13… but there wasn’t much choice in the matter. We finally moved to a house and I got my own room while my siblings still shared a room til my brother turned 13 and moved to the basement. I have mixed feelings about it. It seemed so normal for us. I wouldn’t mind having my own kids (of the same gender) share a room until a certain age or until another option becomes available!

Finances mean that my children will be sharing, at least for the foreseeable future. I’d like to give them each their own space by the time they’re teenagers, but we’ll see if that’s possible. My big two (3.5 and nearly 2) share currently and absolutely love it, but I’m aware that’s not likely to last!

I shared with my younger brother until the age of about 10 and it was fine. We’ve never been the sort of family who spend a lot of time in bedrooms — just to sleep, really, so space never felt like a big issue. If I wanted my own space, I could find it elsewhere in the house or garden. We did make lots of dens!

I think it would be quite nice for similar-aged siblings to share a room, until they were about 7 or so. Then you could have a room for sleeping, and a separate room for playing. Once they are older I understand that they would likely want their own space, especially if they are opposite genders.

For what it’s worth, I am in my late teens and I share a room with my sister when we are both at home, and always have. It has always been a great experience - as well as confiding in each other and supporting each other, we have created whole worlds while we were supposed to be asleep!

There have been occasional minor disagreements about one wanting the lights on when the other wants to sleep and that kind of thing, but we have certainly never “fallen out” over sharing a room. I have never lacked a private space; if I needed to be alone, I could always go in the garden or elsewhere in the house, like @katinka.

I grew up sharing a room with my younger sister. We argued like crazy, but we were also so close growing up. The arguments were mostly over bedroom space and bedtimes, that was it. I got my own room when my older sister moved out when I was 16, and have had my own room since (my younger sister doesn’t live with me anymore though). We couldn’t afford to have a four bedroom property, and so it was my older sister in a room by herself (3 years older than me) and my younger sister and I in a room (she’s 2 years younger than me).

My younger sister and I would stay up late talking, watch films together, generally have fun. But due to the age gap (which isn’t even big, but when it’s an 11 year old and a 13 year old, it feels like a huge gap) we argued like mad over bedtimes as they were usually at the same time (which I hated), but obviously that didn’t become an issue when we got past our tween years.

I never knew any different growing up, and I liked the sense of security it gave me sleeping in a bedroom with someone else. I was never alone, which was usually a good thing but when I did want space I had to go and find it elsewhere, which got irritating real quick.

For my own kids, I’m not bothered. I’d like them to have their own nursery, but if money doesn’t allow me to give them their own rooms, then the girls will share and the boys will share. I think this varies depending on whether or not you grew up sharing a room, well it seems to be so going off this thread!

I think that if you can say “my children will never share a room” you are very privileged and should be grateful. There is of course no problem with children sharing bedrooms.

@wandsworth I totally agree. While I personally would rather my children all had their own room I recognise that I am very fortunate to be in a position where I will likely be able to make that a reality.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with children sharing rooms.

I shared a room with my brother for a long time, we didn’t mind it at first but as we got older we wanted our own space to do things and be apart but we requested it and had that privilege. There is nothing wrong with it but it may be a cause for fights etc.

I’ve always been of the mind that a person should have a separate room, a safe space to be alone if needs be. I know how crucial this was for me. It made me independent and self-sufficient and confident in many ways… aware of my right to a space of my own for example. Also I had a space to reflect on problems and come up with solutions in my room, or a place to cry in privacy for example. My dignity was well-mantained.

Someone I knew shared a room with her sister who was 2-3 years younger up until she left for uni. It seemed to me that this was unhealthy for both sisters as one had become entirely dependent on having someone with her at all times (she confided in me that she couldn’t stand being alone), and her sister seemed the opposite, an introvert who needed her own space, and often felt smothered by her sister’s presence. This, in my opinion, pushed the sisters further from each other as I could tell a resentment had built up between them. However, I should note an important detail which was pressure from their mother to stay close and hang out with each other. This probably made it worse.

Maybe if the room is large enough and the siblings aren’t forced to form a bond, and there is, communication it would be okay. Though they might not know of the advantages that I did for example.

I shared with my older sister until I was about 8 and she was 13. I loved being close to her but it was a revelation when I got my own room because I’m such a neat freak and she is the messiest person alive. I did miss her when we got separate rooms because she used to make up bedtime stories for me.

I agree that it depends on finances, the reasons we shared was because in the first house it was only a three bedroom so we got a bunk bed in the smallest room; my brother and stepbrothers had the largest room; and my mum and stepdad had the medium sized room. In the second house we shared because most of the house was under renovation for like 2 years and then we got our own rooms, although I apparently used to sleepwalk into my sisters room a lot so I guess I subconsciously missed her.

My brother and I had our own rooms since we moved to this house. But I was terrified of the dark, so my little brother and I shared a room until I was thirteen. He was about ten when I moved to my own room.

Now I can’t sleep without pure darkness. :slight_smile:

My kids share. They have bunk beds and are in heaven getting to share. [name_f]Emiliana[/name_f] is 5 and [name_m]Caspian[/name_m] is almost 2. We live in [name_f]China[/name_f] where 3 person families are “standard”, although 4 person families are becoming more common.

I’d prefer that they don’t share past 10 or so, as they will have puberty-related things… and that means they need space. However, if we live in [name_f]China[/name_f] I’m not sure whether we will have enough money to rent such a big apartment. If we live in Iran, bedrooms aren’t as much of a thing.

We are a family that doesn’t spend that much time at home, though. We prefer to be out playing, hiking, working, or just generally on the go. So I don’t think it’s such an issue for us, at least not yet.

You do get a special bond from sharing a room, but I’ve always been one to need my private time. It’s very important to me. But I want five kids, so individual bedrooms are unfortunately out of the question. This would be my preferable birth order and age I’d like to have them at (using names from my signature):
[name_m]Wes[/name_m] and [name_f]Fiona[/name_f] (twins) 27
[name_f]Anneliese[/name_f] 30
[name_u]Michael[/name_u] 33
[name_u]Eloise[/name_u] 36

[name_m]Wes[/name_m] and [name_f]Fiona[/name_f] would share a room until they start preschool. When [name_f]Anneliese[/name_f] is born, she will have her own nursery since she’s a baby and is going to need silence to nap. Then [name_f]Fiona[/name_f] move into the fourth bedroom and [name_m]Wes[/name_m] will have his own room. When [name_u]Michael[/name_u] is born, he will have his own nursery, meaning he will take [name_f]Anneliese[/name_f]’s nursery, who will move in with [name_f]Fiona[/name_f]. When [name_u]Eloise[/name_u] is born, [name_u]Michael[/name_u] will move in with [name_m]Wes[/name_m]. When [name_u]Eloise[/name_u] is around three, [name_f]Anneliese[/name_f] will move in with her and [name_f]Fiona[/name_f] will have her own room.

It’ll be a long complicated process but I feel like it’ll be the best for our situation.

I would ideally love to give each child their own room, provided I’m financially stable enough to do so (I’m not sure how many kids I’d like to have, but it would be no more than three). I probably would try to avoid putting more than two children in a single room.

My younger brother and I were 5 and 9 when we stopped sharing a bedroom due to moving into a bigger house, and 8-9 was definitely the age range where I was getting pretty unhappy with the arrangement and needed my own private and personal space. I see nothing wrong with kids of any genders sharing a bedroom for as long as circumstances dictate, but I also know I would have acted out more if I never had a space to recoup away from everyone else into my teenage / puberty years.

[name_f]Every[/name_f] child having their own room is a privilege. Many families can’t afford a house big enough to have a room for each child, especially if you have more than 2 kids. I shared a room with my sister until she was 15, I was 16. My husband shared a room with his brother until they were 18 & 19, and they didn’t mind it at all.
Of course, if you live somewhere large enough to give each child a room, I’m sure the children would enjoy having their own space, but this is a bonus and not a necessity, perhaps unless a child is not neurotypical and needs privacy for their own mental/behavioral reasons. For instance, a family member of mine who is still a child, is autistic and needs to go to his room by himself for a little while when he gets upset.
In a way, sharing a room with a sister my whole life created even more wonderful memories of my childhood. Late night chats, building forts, jumping on the big bed we shared together, etc :slight_smile:

My sister is four years younger than me and we shared a bedroom until my family moved in 2018 when we were 23 and 19 (granted from the time I was 20 onwards, one of us was always away at school, and for a year I had moved in with a now-ex S/O, and when I moved home, my sister was gone to college).

My family just didn’t have the money to move into a larger home so we got used to sharing. We had a curtain/partition set up so we had privacy and we got along just fine. Now we have moved and each have our own bedrooms, which is nice, but we certainly weren’t damaged or anything because we had to share.