We went with Vivienne and I can't get behind it 100%

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] berries,

It was so incredibly hard for me to name our third daughter. I see other posts with baby name regret lately and that helps me to know I’m not alone! The whole pregnancy I thought I loved the name [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] because I loved calling her [name_f]Vivi[/name_f] in utero. Then she arrived and I couldn’t commit. We went back and forth with a few different names - and finally settled on [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] [name_f]Lena[/name_f].

It’s a beautiful name, BUT - sometimes it bothers me when people don’t say vivi-N… and I feel like I shouldn’t have picked a name that could be so easily said 2 different ways.

My husband loved [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] but I wasn’t into it because of the popularity - now I think that name is so pretty and I can’t get over her name just being [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] [name_f]Lena[/name_f]…or [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f], even.

She’s 3 months and we do already call her [name_f]Viv[/name_f] and [name_f]Vivi[/name_f] - but, ugh - every day I think about this!

Should I just stick it out? [name_m]Will[/name_m] her name grow on me? Am I being crazy?

It’s the worst feeling to not [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] your child’s name. Any advice is so welcome!

You can change it, but I almost guarantee it will grow on you. I had a hard time with two of my kids, I think name regret is so common now. But now I really do love their names. [name_f]Viv[/name_f] and vivi are adorable. You could even change the spelling to [name_u]Vivian[/name_u], might help with pronunciation. Good luck! Also a lot of kids go by their middle, you can just call her [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] if you really prefer it.

If you mostly call her [name_f]Viv[/name_f] or [name_f]Vivi[/name_f], perhaps look into changing her legal first name - a couple of examples that would work would be [name_f]Olive[/name_f], [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], [name_f]Aviva[/name_f]… but I’m sure we could come up with MANY more ideas if you were interested in pursuing that route.

First of all, I love love love [name_f]Vivi[/name_f]! And [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] is such a gorgeous name… But I totally understand where you’re coming from.

Here’s my story, maybe hearing it might help? My daughter is 9 years old. Her father (an ex who is very uninvolved in her life) was a nightmare when it came to naming her. He wouldn’t consider any of the names I loved. Not one! We finally arrived at her name (kiana) right before I was due and after that I felt like there was no room for changing my mind and honestly I just wanted the fighting to stop… Well fast forward 9 years, my daughter hates her name, she cringes every time someone says it, and exclusively goes by [name_f]Kiki[/name_f] (which suites her to a T! She such a little firecracker!) but I feel absolutely horrible that I didn’t stick up for myself and my daughter. I hate that she hates her name (which her father continues to call her despite her wishes) and I wish she had a name to fall back on when she “grows out” of the nickname kiki. She won’t want to put kiana on a resume and I doubt she’ll want to put a cutesy nickname like kiki either.

My point is, if you love [name_f]Vivi[/name_f] and [name_f]Viv[/name_f] but not [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f], find another full name that you can still use them as a nickname (I particularly love the suggestion of [name_f]Aviva[/name_f]). However, I’m sure a little [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] wouldn’t dislike her name the way my daughter does.

Good luck!!!

[name_m]How[/name_m] are you prn her name? I would say [name_f]Viv[/name_f] ee uhn. I think you are over thinking it. Keep the name. It’s beautiful.

I love Vivienne & the nn’s. I never even knew there was more than one way to pronounce it! It that is your main concern, I would keep it. Isobel (and many other names) seem more easily mispronounced to me than Vivienne. Vivienne is gorgeous.

[name_m]How[/name_m] are you pronouncing [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f]? I would pronounce both [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] and [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] as [name_f]Viv[/name_f]-ee-an. I think [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] [name_f]Lena[/name_f] is really pretty.

I would pronounce it Viv-ee-en
If others pronunciations are bothering you I would correct them. If they say Vivian and you want Vivi-ENNE then I would clarify. If she goes by Vivi I don’t think it matters too much since you can generally introduce her as “Vivi-ENNE but we call her Vivi.”

It’s such a beautiful name!
However, since her middle name is one you love you could always try calling her by that…if it’s a better fit than she can be “Vivienne but she goes by her middle name Isobel.”

I love her full name - you picked a beautiful combination of names :slight_smile:

I have always pronounced both spellings the same way: [name_f]Viv[/name_f]-ee-un. I think you’ll probably continue to get mispronunciations if you are set on hearing the -en ending. But it’s not the end of the world if strangers pronounce her name incorrectly, and for people who you see often, you can correct them.

My daughter’s name is [name_f]Maeve[/name_f], which I thought was pretty safe for pronunciation, and she’s been called Meeve, [name_f]Mauve[/name_f], and other non-names. I don’t let it bother me because I love the name so much.

I think her name is lovely. If you aren’t sure, then there is nothing wrong with changing it. However, you will probably find that it grows on you - most names do.

What pronunciation do you want?? As far as I thought, there was only one way to say it…

I suppose a lot of this depends on what the laws on naming are where you live and the logistics of the question. My baby already had quite a few identity documents and official paperwork by 3 months and changing his name would have been nightmarishly difficult at that point. I know this is not the case everywhere, though… Maybe looking into the practical side could also help you gauge how serious you are in wanting to legally change your daughter’s name.

But all that aside, first of all let me tell you that I think [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] [name_f]Lena[/name_f] is really, truly a gorgeous name. And I’m sorry to hear it’s lost some of it’s shine for you. My advice would be to consider a few options that might make you fall back in love with her name and see whether any of those quash the baby name regret before you turn to legal name change as an option.

  1. Use [name_f]Viv[/name_f]/[name_f]Vivi[/name_f] almost exclusively. These are both great nicknames, and I think you could start introducing her simply as [name_f]Viv[/name_f] or [name_f]Vivi[/name_f], since this is what led you to love the name [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] in the first place. I think [name_f]Viv[/name_f] or [name_f]Vivi[/name_f] are nicknames that could work equally well on an adult, especially with the more refined [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] as a legal name to put on resumes, etc.

  2. You could try calling her by her middle name, [name_f]Isobel[/name_f], even without changing her name. You could also call her [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] [name_f]Isobel[/name_f], [name_f]Viv[/name_f] [name_f]Isobel[/name_f], or something like that with two names so that you don’t feel like [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] is “hidden” as a middle name, and you still get to enjoy the beautiful name of [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] without eliminating [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] as the first name. If you start doing this and [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] really sticks, I also know a few people who are exclusively known by their middle names. She could receive mail as V. [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] LastName and essentially be [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] without changing her name.

  3. Being a stickler about pronunciation. If you really want the ENNE emphasized, you could try gently correcting people every time: “Actually we pronounce it [name_f]ViviENNE[/name_f].” Of course, there are always some people who will just never pick up on the distinction, and this doesn’t work when being read aloud for the first time, but it could help for the people close to you. I would also remember that SO MANY names can be pronounced a little differently by different people–mine is, for example, and it has never bothered me. So while I sympathize with your frustration, I don’t think you need to feel like you’ve made a bad choice simply because the pronunciation isn’t always just what you’d hoped for.

I hope some of that might have helped you, and above all I hope you can find a way to feel peace and enjoyment about your daughter’s name–whether that means making a legal change or not. Congratulations on your still-new baby. It just gets better and better from here on out :slight_smile:

PS: Since my advice is mostly on the non-change side, I thought I’d add that I have a friend whose name was changed by her parents at some point in her babyhood–more towards a year than 3 months, I believe, and it was absolutely fine for everyone involved. Her (new) name fits her fabulously :slight_smile:

It’s a truly gorgeous name and it would be a shame to change it! [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] ([name_f]Isabelle[/name_f], [name_f]Isabel[/name_f], [name_f]Isabella[/name_f] etc.) is beautiful too but given the sheer popularity of the name a lot of the beauty is lost.
It sounds like you don’t have an issue with [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] itself but people’s ocassional mispronunciation in which case the spelling [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] maybe a better option for you. Soon she’ll be old enough to introduce herself and pronounce the name how you like (by emphasizing the -an or -enne part of her name) which will likely eliminate the issue. Plus it sounds like most of the time she’s [name_f]Vivi[/name_f] or [name_f]Viv[/name_f] anyway! I wouldn’t worry about it, I truly believe it’ll grow on you, it’s a fantastic name. Good luck!

[name_f]Do[/name_f] you like the prounciation vivi-[name_f]ANNE[/name_f]?

I think vivi-ENNE and vivi-EN are too close for most people to really differentiate. If it bothers you too much, change it. But since you love [name_f]Vivi[/name_f], I’d personally stay with it. I like the vivi-[name_f]ANNE[/name_f] prounciation a lot though.

The distinction is between vi-vi-ENNE and [name_f]VI[/name_f]-vi-en. It’s about which syllable is stressed, not a subtle difference, as opposed to ENNE vs. EN which is the same sound (in English, that is).

I had a hard time connecting my daughters name to her. I hadn’t even fully chosen a name by the time I went into labor. We decided on [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] ([name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] was actually on our list, along with [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] and [name_f]Calliope[/name_f]) - it took a good 6 months or so for it to be HERS. It’s a big name for a baby and apparently no one can pronounce it, she goes by [name_f]Evie[/name_f] to everyone except her father and I, who call her [name_f]Evangelina[/name_f] (which my husband had originally been against) at times. I feel like if you love the name an are persistent with pronunciation - you will fall in love. At least from my experience. I think [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] and [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] are fabulous names, just give it time, one of them will click.

I would change it. It is early days yet.

I’m not sure how anyone could pronounce [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] any other way than vivi-n?

To me, [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] is pronounced [name_f]Vivi[/name_f]-anne and [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] is pronounced [name_f]Vivi[/name_f]-N. Maybe just changing the spelling to [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] will solve your frustration? All variations of the names you mentioned are beautiful but the easiest route might be to just change the spelling.

thank you all so much for taking the time to write such thought through responses. i really do think it helps to read your advice and stories and suggestions. i think it’s a combination of a lot of things. like @coddiwomple said, it feels like a big name for a baby, so serious in some ways…and when i think about what i would prefer to be called myself, vivienne or isobel, i think i would prefer isobel! even if it is popular. hmmf. thank you all so much !!! hopefully i will feel at ease about this soon one way or another.