Well, it's finally happened

I’m pregnant with a baby boy due on [name_f]October[/name_f] 11th! If you’ve read any of my posts, you know I’m really into boys’ names, so this put me over the moon. I love a lot of different names, but my husband has turned out to be extremely, extremely picky and anal. He doesn’t like much of anything, and doesn’t give much of an explanation for why. He has hated everything I’ve loved. In addition, he overthinks initials, so we have had to compromise on the middle name I wanted, which was to be my maiden name, because of certain letter combinations. There’s just no way I will get anything I love otherwise, and I don’t want the story of our child’s name to end up being, “Well, we both could live with it, so…”… All emphasis on sentimental value or personal meaning ultimately goes out the window when almost everything is vetoed outright. He also flip-flops on whether or not he likes things, and seems to have contradicting views i.e., nothing too “out there” because the child may be teased (and his version of “out there” and tease-worthy is not mine, or based on current popularity standings…), and yet all reasonable, familiar names I have presented to him ([name_m]Timothy[/name_m], [name_m]Peter[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]John[/name_m]…) are just outright denied. So it feels I can’t win with him. Not to mention, he hardly wants to talk about names at all, and if he does, jokingly suggests ridiculous things like [name_m]Tiberius[/name_m] or Gregorius or [name_m]Octavius[/name_m]. (These names are ridiculous to us, anyway…) Last night, I finally got him to talk about it seriously for a little while. I said we could choose any middle name if it went with the first name. We have agreed on three names on the list for right now.

[name_m]Cormac[/name_m] [name_m]Alan[/name_m]
[name_m]Conor[/name_m] [name_m]Patrick[/name_m]
and
[name_m]Dawson[/name_m] [name_m]William[/name_m]

The only name I feel very strongly about is [name_m]Dawson[/name_m] [name_m]William[/name_m], because [name_m]Dawson[/name_m] means “son of [name_m]David[/name_m],” and my husband’s name is [name_m]David[/name_m]. He didn’t used to like it, but he says it’s grown on him. However, he doesn’t want it for a first child if there could be a second… The other two combinations, I like fine, but I am more into plainer, more common or “traditional” names now than I was when I first fell in love with [name_m]Cormac[/name_m] or [name_m]Conor[/name_m]. Lastly, my father-in-law says he doesn’t like [name_m]Dawson[/name_m], and my mother-in-law says she doesn’t like [name_m]Cormac[/name_m]. That doesn’t matter much to us, but it’s on the table, nonethless. I have been over the Social Security Top 1000 countless times, going through everything that is even mildly appealing to me, and I’m tired of looking at it, and then being told no to everything.

Does anyone have any ideas, maybe based on the ideas above, so we can have more to talk about? Our last name is [name_m]Kane[/name_m], but spelled a little differently. Avoid monosyllabic names, names that end in “N,” or names with a hard “k” sound at the end. However, none of these are absolute deal-breakers.

I find it funny that [name_m]Conor[/name_m] is an unusual name to you. I know several (in varying age groups) and consider it a common, normal name. (but spelled [name_m]Connor[/name_m]) I would honestly say I think it’s a good middle ground for you if he doesn’t really want to use [name_m]Dawson[/name_m].

I also want to ask if he has looked at any names on his own? maybe HE should do some looking and make a list of names he actually likes. then you could talk about it from there.

See, I don’t personally know any Conors (or Connors), and only know it as a name that is moderately common on little kids today. [name_m]Just[/name_m], to my ear it is more unusual than something like [name_m]Jacob[/name_m], for instance. I think it’s a good middle ground, too, but I’m not in love with it. I think it’s a good, strong, masculine name. But I just want to explore other things first.

Oh, we’ve definitely been down that road. He doesn’t look up names for himself. I told him last night that this is a team process, and I can’t know which direction to go in if I have no idea what he likes that he feels is usable for the real world, and all I hear is no.

[name_u]Con[/name_u][n]or is probably my favorite of your names, [name_m]Dawson[/name_m] being second. I know lots of Connors, however, and have only met one [name_m]Dawson[/name_m]. That makes me lean towards [name_m]Dawson[/name_m]. Plus, the meaning is great, and I don’t think it will matter if you do have more children because you will certainly find a name just as meaningful for them. I would so encourage you to stick by [name_m]Dawson[/name_m]:slight_smile:

I can definitely commiserate with your husband-vetoes-everything predicament. I like the names you’ve got. [name_m]Conor[/name_m] is very handsome, and [name_m]Cormac[/name_m] is so original! Maybe it’s just me, but [name_m]Dawson[/name_m] makes me think of that cheesy TV show [name_m]Dawson[/name_m]'s Creek! :stuck_out_tongue: but I really don’t think that’s a reason not to use it.

What helped with my DH was to have him find a few lists and read them aloud to me, or just the names he likes on them. It made the discussion a little more cooperative instead of me feeling like I was suggesting names that would inevitably get rejected! :mad: Maybe that could help! Good luck :slight_smile:

I’m sorry this has been such a frustrating process for you!

Of your list, I like [name_m]Conor[/name_m] (but I’d probably spell it [name_m]Connor[/name_m]) and [name_m]Dawson[/name_m], especially with the meaning.

Here are some other ideas, paired with middles just for context. I’m sure you’ve looked at some of these a zillion times, but still…

[name_m]Bennett[/name_m] [name_u]Ryan[/name_u]
[name_m]Collin[/name_m] [name_m]Anthony[/name_m]
[name_m]Colter[/name_m] [name_m]Andrew[/name_m]
[name_u]Curtis[/name_u] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_m]Desmond[/name_m] [name_m]Timothy[/name_m]
[name_u]Dexter[/name_u] [name_m]Alan[/name_m]
[name_u]Lawrence[/name_u] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u]
[name_m]Linus[/name_m] [name_m]William[/name_m]
[name_u]Neal[/name_u] [name_m]Henry[/name_m]
[name_m]Matthias[/name_m] [name_u]Evan[/name_u]
[name_m]Ross[/name_m] [name_m]Patrick[/name_m]
[name_m]Shepherd[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]
[name_m]Simon[/name_m] [name_m]Louis[/name_m]

Thank you for all your input, guys. ceryle, I really like your list of suggestions. I had been pushing for [name_m]Dawson[/name_m], but my husband finally came around and conceded to a name that I really love, [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]. I gave him a sound argument, and we agreed on [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] Calkins Kaen. Calkins is my maiden name.

[name_m]Thomas[/name_m] is a wonderful name! I’m glad everything worked out.

Oooo that’s a great name! I like it! [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] is wonderful and I’m so glad you got to use your maiden name too!