If you hang around in the forums at all, you get used to seeing a near-constant stream of posts about people’s negative reactions out in the real world to parents’ beloved name choices for their soon-to-be or brand new children. Some of them are really heart-wrenching stories, and almost always, I’m left sitting in mild outrage thinking what my mom and grandma often repeated to me growing up: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
I’m hoping that this post might act like a place to share your story of how your friends and family reacted to your child’s/children’s names. I’m really curious to hear a more balanced perspective about how your chosen names ultimately went down… both the good and the bad.
Were you hesitant to share your chosen name with certain family members and ultimately relieved to discover their open-minded reaction? Did you pick a safe name you thought everyone would like only to discover friends were negative about it anyway? Did you tell your family your favorite name before birth and get bullied out of using it?
I’m less interested in reactions from strangers and acquaintances, because we all know they can be rude, but if that’s a major part of your own story, then please feel free to share. Whether you chose to tell the world your baby’s name before birth or kept it a guarded secret for weeks postpartum, I’d like to hear your stories!
Great question. My parents were very happy with our choice of the name [name_u]Sasha[/name_u], our first daughter. But when we told them we were planning to name our second daughter [name_f]Aviva[/name_f], my dad said, “like the paper towels?” which gave us a bad taste for the name. We wound up naming her [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] (a family name) instead. I don’t exactly regret letting his reaction color our decision because [name_f]Mimi[/name_f] has embraced her name and loves that it also belongs to hear great grandmother - but I sort of wish I had stuck with [name_f]Aviva[/name_f] since I actually like that name better. Our third daughter was to be [name_f]Cosette[/name_f] but wound up being [name_f]Juliet[/name_f] after too many people told us [name_f]Cosette[/name_f] sounded like a boy’s name (really?!?). I don’t regret that choice though as [name_u]Jules[/name_u] is very much a [name_f]Juliet[/name_f]. I wish the three girls names sounded better together though - but we’re expecting a fourth, which means we still have a chance to balance things out. I love [name_f]Xanthe[/name_f], by the way!
@lisaemmerich, I fail to see how [name_f]Cosette[/name_f] is masculine in the slightest… people can be so strange. I love [name_f]Aviva[/name_f] as well; I’m sorry you talked yourself out of using it, but your daughters’ names are lovely nonetheless. Best of luck naming your new addition. You have some great options!
I don’t actually have any children yet, but I was recently talking seriously about names with my mom. After talking a bit about how I got my name she asked if there were any names I was thinking of using in the future. I told her the “rules” my husband and I had laid out for ourselves, and the major contenders. When I told her that our current favorite for a girl is [name_f]Josephine[/name_f], her exact response was “it’s your baby…” After another half hour or so of discussing names that fit though, she had come around and was saying how cute she thought it was.
My daughter is [name_f]Agatha[/name_f] [name_f]Daisy[/name_f].
My [name_m]SIL[/name_m] and my boss both had the only real ‘negative’ reactions that I can remember. My [name_m]SIL[/name_m] didn’t try and talk us out of the name so much as express her wish for us to choose something else. She came around soon enough because we didn’t entertain her. I think it’s more-so just deciding on the name you like, and TELLING someone what the kid’s name will be: rather than letting them anywhere near you and your choices during the planning stage.
For example: I loved the name [name_u]Dove[/name_u]. I was trying to convince my husband on it, so I made the mistake of asking for outside opinions. LOL. If we have another child, I’ll finalize the name with my husband before sharing it with anyone else. That’s what I’d recommend. It’s no one else’s business and it cuts down on hurt feelings.
She’s 10 months old and my boss still calls her [name_f]Abigail[/name_f]/[name_u]Abby[/name_u] rather than [name_f]Agatha[/name_f]/[name_f]Aggie[/name_f]. I can’t figure out if she’s doing it on purpose or if she literally just forgets. I’ve stopped correcting her because it really doesn’t matter what she thinks.
I’ve run our names by a few people. I keep getting the same response to [name_m]Joel[/name_m]; they repeat it, thoughtful silence, then “not bad”. I don’t really care if people love it, we do and thats what matters, but it is interesting that everyone seems to react the same way. I haven’t gotten any negative reactions, but our names do lean to the “safe” side.
I might have more to say when we are actually expecting, but thats what I have so far.
I actually used to not tell my mother what names I liked, because [name_f]Florence[/name_f], [name_f]Stephanie[/name_f], [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], [name_f]Martha[/name_f], etc were all met by harsh criticism by her when I brought them up (when I told her S/O disliked [name_f]Florence[/name_f], her response was “oh thank god!”).
Reasonably so, I was a little hesitant to mention any names S/O and I are currently discussing for when we do end up having a baby. My mum asked recently though, and much to my surprise, she loved both [name_m]Aaron[/name_m] and [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] (and quite a few others)!
Today when I told her about our top girls name being [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] [name_f]Juliette[/name_f], she actually adored it, and mentioned that it reminded her of the eternal class of [name_f]Jacqueline[/name_f] [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] - one of the many historical women I admire, and my reason for adoring the name [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u].
It made me feel so happy to hear that she loves it this much, I was rather worried as in [name_f]Canada[/name_f] (at least where I am), [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] seems to be completely unheard of.
As far as I know, my parents really like the names we chose, but I’m not 100% sure because they’re the type that won’t say anything negative to the people involved, but will talk behind their back. I know this because they told me that they thought my nephew [name_m]Braden[/name_m]'s name was weird and made-up, and they kept accidentally calling him [name_m]Brandon[/name_m] for the first few months. ([name_m]Braden[/name_m]'s not my style, either, but I already knew that it was a popular (and real) name, so I didn’t have a problem with it. I was just happy that it wasn’t a name that I wanted to use myself!) Still, I at least know my mom loves [name_f]Catherine[/name_f]'s name because she would have named my little sister [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] if my dad hadn’t vetoed it due to an ex-girlfriend by the name, and I don’t see what complaints they would have against [name_m]William[/name_m] and [name_f]Veronica[/name_f] when they gave their own daughters equally classic names. Now the middle names… I really don’t know!
Everyone was very happy (or at least they said they were!). We were careful to choose a name that both sides of the family could pronounce easily and that sounded like a natural choice for both an English baby and an Icelandic baby. We are a bilingual and bicultural family and I really didn’t want to alienate anyone or alienate her from either side of her family/heritage (although her full name does come off pretty Icelandic). I think we did a great job because nobody in [name_f]England[/name_f] or Iceland has ever had any trouble with it (apart from getting the [name_f]Freya[/name_f] spelling a few times from English people and sometimes randomly [name_f]Freja[/name_f]… but spelling is not such a big deal). Actually, you know what, one person (a friend in [name_f]England[/name_f]) did say the spelling was confusing and that it reminded them of a fridge. But I thought that was a super stupid comment since it is the original spelling and the appropriate choice for the country we live in.
We didn’t announce it until we had chosen it, which wasn’t until she was 3 weeks old. So I suppose it would have been rather undiplomatic to make a fuss at that point! No way would I discuss names with anyone other than my partner before the birth. I don’t think it is any of anyone else’s business, even though as I said, I do take their needs in terms of linguistic and cultural concerns very seriously. I think my mum really was a little concerned that we would pick something she couldn’t pronounce easily, but I would never have done that to her.