What are your thoughts on shaming a mother’s name choice?

Some people have no tact and some people delight in taking every opportunity to knock down a mother trying her best. It unfortunately sounds like your friend is dealing with both. People are jerks. [name_u]Tatum[/name_u] is a fine name. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if it wasn’t, you don’t comment on the name of a child who has been born, period, ever.

[name_m]Even[/name_m] if someone asks for my opinion on a name, I have completely different approaches to talking about a name in theory (where I’m way more likely to be blunt and say “it’s tryndee and cutesy and not good” if I feel that way) and talking about the name to someone who likes it as a potential name for their child (where you just…do not do that, if you’re a decent person). You can say it seems likely people will misspell [name_f]Chelseigh[/name_f] throughout her life, if mom asks. You can say Americans who encounter Aodhla may not know what to do with it, if mom asks. You can say [name_u]Elliott[/name_u] may not like being assumed to be a boy, if mom asks. If you’re not asked, you can assume your opinion is neither needed or valuable on this particular matter. [name_u]Tatum[/name_u], [name_f]Chelseigh[/name_f], Aodhla, and [name_u]Elliott[/name_u] are not going to be harmed by their names even if they’re not your personal style.

If someone was announcing prior to birth and I had serious reservations about it’s impact on the child I would perhaps bring it up to a close friend. My framing would be something like “you may have already considered this but (reason why name is a bad choice.)” And would be delivered privately via text or chat that way it can be ignored if she wants to.

If the feedback is delivered prior to birth they always have the easy out of saying “Yes we were going to name her X, but once we met her she was a Z through and through.”

We always announced how babies name after birth since our choices were very unique for our families.

When we told our first daughter’s name to people, they would say ‘’[name_f]Magnolia[/name_f] is not a name’’ ‘‘It can’t be a name for a human’’ ‘‘It’s a flower name not a name for a child’’, etc. Let me tell you it didn’t phase us at all. We more than loved her name and we had a very strong meaning behind it- Before we were together we went to japan with our friends (we both secrectly had a thing for each other) and long story short, our first kiss was under a magnolia tree. It has always been so meaningful to us since then.

So I think before you shame a mother’s name choice, ask the meaning or just remember that there might be a special meaning behind it.

Oh and now we get lots of compliments on it :slight_smile:

When we were expecting our first, we announced his name before his birth to our family and friends and regretted it. My [name_f]MIL[/name_f] was especially opinionated on it—she kept telling me how everyone was going to assume [name_m]Autry[/name_m] was a girl or call him [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] instead. When we found out we were pregnant again, we decided not to tell anyone the name until after she was born. People are less likely to name-shame once the baby is actually here. And now we get nothing but compliments on how unique and handsome our son’s name is.

So in my opinion, unless you have genuine concerns that the name will have a severe negative impact on the child (ie. [name_m]Lucifer[/name_m] or [name_m]Adolf[/name_m]) I would keep your opinions to yourself. No need to bring others down. :slight_smile: