What did you do differently with your second child?

Parentberries
1

My husband and I are TTC for #2. We bought a lot of our “big ticket” items in more unisex colors (bassinet, bouncy seat, mobile, activity gym, swing, high chair) so we could use them again. Unfortunately, when our daughter was about 1, my husband was in a car accident with her. Not severe, but obviously we had to get a new car seat and since we were planning on getting a convertible (she was in an infant seat at that point), we bought the Britax Marathon convertible seat. I absolutely love it and plan on getting another one for our next child. I’m toying with the idea of not getting an infant seat at all and just getting another convertible. I’m just trying to decide if I can get over the convenience of the infant seat those first few months before they can hold their head up and sit upright…

I wasn’t a big baby wearer the first time around. I tried, but it wasn’t “convenient” for me (I didn’t feel like I could easily get things done like cleaning or laundry like many others claimed - I felt like I was going to bop her in the head!) and it got frustrating for her as well (she wasn’t a big fan - lots of screaming and fussing because we were both too hot). Obviously, if I’m going to try and avoid an infant seat, I’m going to have to become a serious baby wearer, especially those first few months. I sort of regret not being more of one my first time around and wish I were more persistent. Is this realistic? Has anyone done this or do I really need to just suck it up and accept I’m going to be dropping a bunch of money on two car seats (again) within a year for our next baby?

If I decide to get another infant seat, I don’t want to drop another $150-200 like we did with our daughter because we won’t be using it long. I was looking at [name_u]Baby[/name_u] Trend Flex Loc infant seat or some Safety 1st seats. Anyone have either of those or recommend something else? I just don’t see the point dropping that much for an infant seat since I’m going to spend over $200 for another convertible seat shortly after. However, I still (of course) want it to be quality and not some flimsy cheap-o thing with barely any padding.

I was also looking at the [name_u]Baby[/name_u] Trend sit n stand universal stroller. Anyone have that? Like it? Hate it?

Any other things you want to share that you did differently with your second child? Obviously, if I have another girl, aside from the car seat dilemma and the stroller, I’ll be set but if I have a boy, I don’t plan on spending almost 200 bucks on crib bedding this time around! But let’s be honest, I will still probably spend a lot on clothes. :wink:

2

We have mostly unisex large-ticket items, too, though some of them are bit more on the boy side of unisex.
We have our original infant car seat, and will be using it. I never baby-wore, so I can’t help you with that one. Too hot for me, too, as my son was born in the spring.
I sew, so I made everything from our nursery. I am tired of it, and I want this baby to have his/her own, so I will make everything new for this one. It’s one area I want to splurge for this baby.
As for clothes, since I have a boy and the clothes aren’t as fun, I won’t be spending much on another boy. If it’s a girl, it’ll be the first grand-daughter on both sides of the family. So I’m expecting more clothing gifts than she can wear! :slight_smile:

3

Car seat: are you comfortable asking around to see if anyone can lend you an infant seat for the first few months? I do think that going straight to a convertible car seat is fine, but if you both want an infant seat but don’t really want to pay for one, borrowing might be an option. If it is a close friend or family, you can be sure that it wasn’t in an accident, etc.

We started with just a convertible (Britax Roundabout.) I felt like he was too floppy in there, it didn’t cradle him as much as an infant seat. In retrospect, this was a foolish decision bc he outgrew the infant seat by four months. So we should have just stuck to the convertible, but c’est la vie.

We had a Graco snugride infant seat and it was perfectly fine, about $80. I passed it on when he grew out of it super early, it has now been through three additional babies. I have friends who have an even cheaper Cosco one. They like it just fine. They all have to meet the same safety regulations, so that is nice.

[name_u]Baby[/name_u] wearing: we wore our son almost constantly for the first few months- really until he was mobile. So I might not be the best person to ask on this bc I loved it and found it very convenient. Gear-wise, I liked the [name_m]Moby[/name_m] for the newborn stage and then the Ergo. If I was going to buy just one, it would be the Ergo. I hated the slings, they made the weight-bearing arm go dead. I never got super into it, I never did any of the fancy wraps, etc. I was more of a baby wearer for convenience rather than deeply philosophically committed to it.

That said, I do not know if it is realistic that you and the new baby will love it the second time around. There are babies who do not like to be worn- the little boy I babysit for is one of them. So it is not necessarily that you did anything wrong, or weren’t persistent enough, maybe your baby just didn’t like it, or maybe you just didn’t. But maybe this baby will love it and you will love it this time. I would give it a try, but not count on it working out. I think it makes a difference when you are due, as well. My son was born in [name_u]November[/name_u], so wearing him kept both of us nice and warm. If he had been worn in [name_f]July[/name_f], I cannot promise I would have been as enthusiastic.

I do not have a sit and stand. I have friends who have them, and they seem great. If you want to save money, look for a used one. These things are short lived. My neighbors were getting rid of their double stroller, so that is what I use for my son and the little boy I watch. I thought I would put one in the single stroller and wear the other, but since the baby I sit for hates being worn, I ended up wearing my toddler and while that was a good work out, it was not so much fun.

4

With carseats, I personally found a baby capsule (infant seat? not entirely sure if we’re talking about the same thing but I think so) way better than a convertible carseat. Because a) you could take it out and save having to disturb your baby when you get out and b) most convertibles where I live aren’t ideally designed for infants, and I found the strap that went across the top a real hassle (we had a Safe n Sound, found a Cosco later on which was better as it didn’t have that strap). Where I live (NZ) its easy to hire a capsule for about $50 for the first six months and then move them to a convertible carseat.

With regards to babywearing, what you use to baby wear can make a huge difference. I started off with a front pack (Elite Cruiser) for my first. I really liked it, though not til she was a little older - but then I got a [name_m]Moby[/name_m] wrap and I am completely and totally in love with it! I didn’t use it much around the house (like you say, its not that easy to do things with them in it) - but my #3 lived in it whenever I went supermarket shopping, to play groups, school and kindy pick ups etc. Found it just sooo handy (and has the added advantage of keeping everyone from putting their grubby hands all over your baby!)

5

I personally [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] the infant car seat. There were just too many times when I felt like it was a life saver like bringing a sleeping baby into the house and being able to put away groceries while they snoozed. Also when we went out to eat. I don’t mind baby wearing but baby wearing while eating just never works well for me. So we’d bring the infant car seat and put it on a booth or in a sling at the restaurant and that was really helpful. Not that we ate out with an infant all the time but enough that I would have regretted not having one. I would just ask family and friends perhaps on Facebook if anyone has a infant car seat you can borrow. I’ve been lucky twice now. My aunt gave me my cousin’s car seat (he’s only a couple years older then my son) when we were expecting our first and it expired when our daughter was six months old, which was fine since she was already past the infant car seat at that point. My [name_m]SIL[/name_m] has already promised us her infant car seat for our next one. They really use them for such a short period of time. Also I would buy the cheapest you can find when all sales and coupons are taken into a account. My [name_m]SIL[/name_m] managed to do a trade-in at BRU (we gave her our expired car seat and they gave her 20% off a new car seat) plus catch a car seat that wasn’t being manufactured anymore and she had a gift card so it only cost her $30 out of pocket. All car seats on the market have passed safety standards so I don’t think you need to spend all that money on a Britax.
We have a [name_u]Baby[/name_u] Trend Sit-N-Stand convertible meaning it can be a regular double stroller or a sit-n-stand. It’s not my favorite and we actually replaced it with a Maclearn Twin Techno for a trip to Disney. It’s pretty big still while folded and heavy and I find it difficult to steer. However it also depends on your children’s ages and temperaments. My son was two years old when my daughter was born and we never really used the sit-n-stand because if he was in a stroller then he was probably having some trouble following directions and needed to be strapped into it. It may be easier to push if it’s converted to the sit-n-stand. Also we bought ours for $65 on Craigslist in great condition. I would definitely plan on purchasing it used since most people that I know got less use out of their double strollers then they expect. Also at 4.5 my son almost never needs a stroller excluding something like Disney World.
In terms of what I did more with my second it was definitely baby wear and just put her down too. I got a mei tai carrier, which I really liked and found a lot easier to put on and use then the ring sling I had when my son was a newborn. I never really was one to baby wear around the house a ton although I tried it a few times. I mostly baby wore when we went out of the house. Like at playdates, storytimes and shopping it was a lot easier to have the baby strapped to me then keep track of two children especially at first. I also found baby wearing plus a single stroller made getting around easier because any double is pretty big and unwieldy compared to a single stroller. When my kids were younger I’d wear my daughter and my son would be strapped into the stroller. Now my daughter rides in the stroller and if my son gets tired like at the end of the day at the Zoo then I’ll wear my daughter so he can sit in the stroller for a little break.
I also put her into baby containment devices a lot more often. With my son I used the swing, bouncy seat and when they are bigger the exersaucer but with my daughter they were lifesavers since it let me really focus on my son who had a rough adjustment. I also used my crock pot a lot more with two kids since somebody was always melting down when it was dinnertime.