What do you do when you don’t like your child’s name?
Since your daughter is already 9 I think she needs to have a say in it. I think [name]Marin[/name] and [name]Isla[/name] are both logical nicknames for [name]Kyla[/name] [name]Marin[/name] but I wouldn’t use them unless she likes them as well. Maybe you can start out by calling her [name]Kyla[/name]-[name]Isla[/name] as a pet name and then transition to just [name]Isla[/name]. (Or call her by [name]Kyla[/name] [name]Marin[/name] and then transition to just [name]Marin[/name].) Definitely don’t tell her that you dislike her name. As long as she doesn’t mind the nicknames I think you should be fine.
I don’t think you should change it. It’s not a horrible name. It’s not like she shares a name with a mass murderer or something. [name]Even[/name] though you may have named her on a whim, I think re-naming her for purely aesthetic reasons is an even bigger mistake. There are names that if I look just at the way they sound, or what they mean, I probably wouldn’t care for, but I love them because they belong to people I love.
I think 9 is way too old to try and change a child’s name. If she were only 1 or 2 then sure but at 9 I think a child is too attached to their name to just randomly change it. If your daughter wanted to start going by another name then that would be a different story, since at this point I’d really say that it’s more her decision, not yours.
For what it’s worth, I think that [name]Kyla[/name] is a great name. Very pretty and feminine (and this is coming from someone who also doesn’t care for [name]Kylie[/name], [name]Kayla[/name], etc).
I think you should ask her if she likes her name, then if she wants to go by a nickname after you move. Since she’s 9, it really isn’t your choice to just take part of her identity away. If and only if she is entirely willing, then you can call her something else. Also, does your husband completely agree on this?
PS If she doesn’t want to change her name, don’t try to convince her. She will dig in her heels (trust me-- it has only been a few years since I was 9).
I don’t think [name]Kyla[/name] is a bad choice. My sons little playmate is [name]Kyla[/name] (ok, well it Ahkhylah, which is a tragedy and when they were playing with crayons and she wrote her name out (shes 4, he’s 2 lol), I almost died. O_O) Anywho - [name]Kyla[/name] is pretty and a bit exotic.
As for her going by a different name, ask her what she thinks. [name]Don[/name]'t tell her that you don’t like her name - just bring up the idea of “wouldn’t it be fin to try out a new name!” and see how she reacts. My sisters 11 and she’s very, very fickle where her name is concerned (It’s [name]Hannah[/name]), sometimes she loves it, sometimes she hates it and if you call her [name]Hannah[/name] Horse, she [name]WILL[/name] retaliate in the most obnoxious way possible.
Oh wow! Please don’t tell your daughter that you don’t like her name. I would have been hurt and more than a little resentful at 9 years old if my parents told me they disliked the name they gave me. I think it’s way too late to change it; it’s part of her identity at this point. [name]Just[/name] try to come to terms with it yourself.
I agree with everyone else. It’s totally up to her at this point. I also have a 9 yr old with a name that I am not thrilled about now. I was young and even though I looked for names my whole pregnancy, I picked a very trendy name that I don’t think will age well either. I love it though because I love her. If she wanted to change it, I wouldn’t have a problem with it but she likes it so that’s all that matters to me.
FWIW, [name]Kyla[/name] is an awesome name. It’s more unique than the others that are in that family of names. I’ve only known one [name]Kyla[/name] and she is an adult and I never thought of it as juvenile. She is very pretty and sweet and the name fits her well.
Have you talked to your daughter about it? Without being obvious you don’t like it? [name]How[/name] does she feel about going by something else?
[name]Hi[/name]!
Well, I imagine your situation. Ive always thougth that if you name your kid something, that you aren
t really into it, it just was going to grown with her/him, and you`ll finally like it, so it seems really hard for you!
First, [name]Kyla[/name] is a cute name, is the best one of the family of [name]Kayla[/name], [name]Kyle[/name] and that stuff. Its sweet, and I do think it
ll age well. [name]Marin[/name] is gorgeuse, BTW.
Secondly: she is 9, so any decition you are going to take, she has to be agree. Maybe se loves the name, or maybe she doesnt and she
d prefer to look for something else, but is her decition too.
The name [name]Marin[/name] sounds cute, and I think it wouldnt be weird to call her by her middle name (if she likes it, of course), [name]Isla[/name] sounds like a normal nickname for [name]Kyla[/name], but I know that it
s really hard to change your nickname, Ive always go by [name]Pili[/name], but I
d love to go by a Pipa, and it`s extremly hard to change it!
So, your girls is a big girl, her name is not just your decition anymore, I think her opinion is the most important, and just dont tell her you don
t like the name, it can be disgusting!
Good luck!
Teen_berry
PLEASE don’t tell your daughter that you don’t like her name. I’m a former middle school teacher, and 9 is a very tender age - even 9 year olds that seem like they have things together, or who might seem like they could handle it - because she really might not be able to, and it’s really not fair to tell her something like this.
[name]Just[/name] love her! [name]Kyla[/name] is a FINE name - you might have regrets about it, but seriously, don’t tell her.
She may (and probably will - I can think of very few girls who don’t have moments of envying someone elses name) come to a day when she doesn’t like her name, and you could suggest then that you are “willing” to go by her middle name. But I’d really let her come to that decision or point herself first, without you suggesting or even hinting at it. [name]Even[/name] if/when she came to that point, I think it’d be a matter of still thinking through whether it would better to affirm to her that it doesn’t matter what her name is, she’s still a beautiful person, than support a change of name that really might be sign posting insecurity and self-doubt.
Sorry to come down hard - I just know that the days of pre-adolescence and then young adolescence can be pretty hard, and I’d hate to see a young girl hurt by something like her feeling like her mom didn’t like something about her.
I don’t think I even agree with changing it even if she wants to, as other posters have suggested. I hated my name when I was younger, but now I love it. [name]Just[/name] as you regret making the decision at a young age, she’s even younger, and may regret it if she agreed to change it. [name]Even[/name] if you move, your family still knows her as [name]Kyla[/name]. It’s just not worth all the potential complications and heartache.
Thank you for all your honest opinions and advice on this. I feel like maybe I came across really crazy in my first post by some of your reactions. Of course I love everything about my daughter and I wouldn’t dream of telling her that I didn’t like her name. After all, it’s my taste I wish I could go back and change, not her. I guess I hadn’t really thought through how we would get other people to start using a nn without her thinking that I didn’t like her name though and I agree with you all, it’s not a good idea.
Maybe all I needed was the few comments saying that her name was okay (names like her’s seem to get bashed quite frequently here). I suppose there are several people who wouldn’t name their last baby the same thing that they named their first baby because their tastes and styles change and that’s okay. The name does fit her, I can’t imagine most of the names I love for babies now on her which is why I was considering a nn that sounds so much like her name. Anyway, it’s beside the point now.
Since I do love [name]Marin[/name] and I think [name]Kyla[/name] [name]Marin[/name] sounds great together, I think I’ll just start using both more frequently. That way, I’m not taking away part of who she is, just adding the part of her name that I really love. Btw, she’s always loved her mn, especially because of the meaning it carries; she smiles whenever I use the whole thing… (that is, she loves to hear it unless she’s in trouble and that’s why I’m using it ). Maybe someday she’ll decide she like [name]Marin[/name] better and maybe she won’t. I’ll leave it up to her. Thanks again!
I love the name [name]Kyla[/name]. You did a great job! It’s my favorite of all the [name]Ky[/name]/[name]Kay[/name] names. Find a reason to fall back in love with the name!
I think on the boards there may probably be more people that like it than are willing to admit it…