My daughter and I live with my parents, so the naming thing is a little different. I’m still mom, and my mother is still grandma, but she does call my father ‘daddy’ since hers isn’t around. At first we tried, to talk her out of it, but it made her self-conscious, so we’ve just let her be. She understands he’s grandpa, but she feels better calling him daddy; plus, now that she’s six, I’ve noticed she’s started to grow out of it, so I’m not worried about it. As for given names, she hears my parents call me by name all the time, obviously, and I do call my parents by their given names, occasionally, although it’s usually just to clarify who I’m talking to. However, she knows she’s not really supposed to use them unless she’s trying to get out attention and we haven’t responded to mommy/ grandma/etc. But all aunts and uncles just go by their given names (or nicknames) with the various kids.
With my grandparents, it was easy to distinguish, because they were from two different cultures-there was grandma & grandpa and abuela y abuelo.
My parents named and nickname me, so I can name and nickname them. Mostly I call them Mum and Dad. Other times my siblings and I call them fun things like the Latin Mater/Pater, the French Maman/Papa, the humourous Mother/Father. Sometimes we call them by their first names as a joke, too. My parents find it funny, not disrespectful.
I can see how for many people it would represent disrespect but I’ve never seen it this way because of how I was raised. My mum always says to us that she never wants there to be anything we can’t say around our own family - we are, after all, a family. I think for this reason, I respect and obey my parents more comfortably. It’s nice knowing we can freely say amusing stuff to each other without anyone finding it disrespectful. You’re much closer to someone when you can trust them to say anything to them and they won’t be angry. That’s how I see it, anyway. Call your parents what you want, as long as it’s not deliberately hurtful and offensive.
I still call my mom, mom or mama, or just plan ma. I also have pet terms for her that are based on the word mom. My grandmother is grandma or grandma [name]Bev[/name]. My uncle is uncle [name]Rick[/name]. My mom’s boyfriend even if they were to get married tomorrow would still be [name]Mike[/name].
I know if I was a mother I wouldn’t want to be called by my first name alone. I’m bisexual so I don’t know if my partner to be will be a man or a woman, but that person will be called some variant of dad or mom.
I’m used to hearing parents being called by their first names from stories and the like when the person in question wants to disassociate from their family. So that’s the immediate image I get.
I’m flexible on how teachers should be addressed. When I was in preschool my first teacher was Miss [name]Phyllis[/name] and they would either go by Miss/Mrs./Mr. first name or just by their first name. In elementary it was always Miss/Mrs./Mr. last name. In college it was always by the teacher’s first name unless the teacher made a preference.
Always called parents Mom and Dad (or some variation thereof: Mommy, Daddy, Mama, etc.) Grandparents were always Grandma Lastname and Grandad Lastname- aunts, uncles, and older cousins are the only adults I ever remember being allowed to address by first name, and then it’s always “Aunt [name]Sylvie[/name]” and “Cousin [name]Donna[/name],” never just the name alone.
It’s not the norm where I grew up for teachers or parents to be called by first names, so if I heard it done there I would think it was meant to be rude or offensive. Where I live now, though, I hear more adults preferring to be called by their first names, so if I heard it done here I wouldn’t assume it was meant to offend unless it was said in a rude tone.
My son just turned one, and he says mumma, or mum (for me) and dadadad (for his dad, and sometimes the cat).
My parents were Mum & Dad, both are with new partners now and I call the partners by their first names. When I was little uncle’s and aunty’s were “Uncle Firstname/Aunty Firstname”, but now I just call them by their first names. I still call my Great Aunt, “Aunty [name]Sally[/name]”.
[name]Nana[/name] & Poppa were my dad’s parents and Grandma & Grandad were my mum’s mum and her step-dad.
Teacher’s through primary and intermediate (which i think is like junior high) were always Mr/Mrs/Miss. Lastname. But one we hit highschool things could be a little more informal. Example, we had a PE teacher called Mr. Sutherland, who everyone called Suds. Another teacher was Mr. [name]Kirkby[/name], who we all called “Kirky”, best teacher ever. A lot of teachers just became “Miss”, even if they were married, the male teacher’s were usually “Sir”.
We have 5 years at highschool and by the final year, things get pretty informal between the teachers and students (or did at my school), sometimes you’d even get kids calling particular teachers by their firstname, or a nickname. It really depended on the teachers.
[name]Hi[/name] [name]Rin[/name], since you mentioned Aunts and Uncles…
When I was younger, I realized that I only call two people with that reference; which, are both my mom’s brothers. I never called her sister–aunt and the youngest brother–uncle (we are around four years apart). I am not sure why, but when my aunt tried to get me to reference her that way, it somehow felt uncomfortable.
On my dad side, I do not call them Uncle and Aunt either and it 10 is of them. However, if I was to introduce someone to them, I would call them Aunt or Uncle. [name]Hi[/name], this is my Uncle [name]Tim[/name] and my Aunt [name]Jane[/name]. However, I do have an Aunt that insist I call her Aunt “[name]Claire[/name],” which just rubs me the wrong way, but I am respectful, and I do so when I am around her. I also noticed, I rarely call their name, unless I absolutely have too.
Not sure if I mentioned this since it’s been a while and have not read back, so forgive me if I have.
My two older sisters call my Grandma–Momm@ and my Grandpa–Myd@ddy. Their daughters call my Grandpa either Grandpa, Papa, or Daddy since theirs are not in the picture and he is the only father they know. Outside of my sisters husband for her two kids.
I call my mother Mom, Mammy, and when talking about her to other people, Mother. I occasionally call her by her first name, in a non disrespectful teasing manner that we’re both okay with.
If she’s nagging me to do something, I’ll usually say something like “Okay girlfriend, I’ll do it now!”. Again, a joke we’re both in on. She calls me girlfriend too, its our way of teasing each other.
I call my father Dad, daddy and Buddy. I never call him by his first name, so when teasing, I call him Buddy instead. As above, its a teasing term of endearment we’re both okay with
I don’t think calling your parents by their first name is disrespectful. I also don’t believe that parents are above their children in any way. Being older than someone and having control over them does not make someone deserve to be above someone, imo. I believe they are equals and should be treated as so. I don’t believe my parents are above me and they don’t believe I’m below them. We mutually respect each other without crossing each others boundries.
I would never want my children to respect me just because I am “above” them, or because I have control over them. Idk, maybe its a cultural thing.
I live in [name]Sweden[/name] and I allso find it odd when people here call their parents/grandparents by their names.
It’s as if there’s some kind of distance between them, no love.
Me and my brothers and sisters call our parents mamma & pappa, mor & far or morsan & farsan
My kids call my parents mormor & morfar and my husbands parents teta & jiddo (arabic)
I think it can be disrespectful for a child to refer to his/her parents by their first name, but it doesn’t have to be. Between my brothers and me, we have 10 children between 1 and 11. All of us were at my moms tonight, and sometimes talking over one another made it difficult to hear who was addressed, and at one point I did call my mom by her first name. She (my mom) was raised in the South and there is a very distinct expectation of respect for your elders there. If she was more true to that southern stigma, it would never ever have been okay for me to do that. But she also knows I love her, and respect her, and would never do that under normal circumstances. She does have a sister, [name]Barbara[/name], whose kids call her “[name]Barb[/name]”. I think it’s odd. They do it frequently, and refer to her that way even when she is not in the room with them. They are all quite a bit older than me, and have gone to great lengths to take care of her, and maybe that’s why they do it. But it feels disrespectful to me. I would never call her “[name]Barbara[/name]”. She is and always will be “Aunt [name]Barbara[/name].” The title is important.
My sons call me momma/mommy and DH is dada/daddy. DH’s mom is Yaya, and his dad is Papa. My mom is supposed to be Grammy, but [name]Nicolas[/name] has a hard time saying it still, and made up his own name for her which is “Famfie.” (pn. fam-fee.) She loves it because it’s a connection only the two of them share, and he says it in the sweetest little voice.
I love to be called momma, and hear my boys call my husband daddy. It feels wonderful to be acknowledged in that way. It feels satisfying and prestigious. (Maybe that’s not the right word? But I feel like it’s earned.)
Sorry for the long post…
I find it interesting that a lot of you are expected to call your extended family by their titles ie. Aunt [name]Mary[/name] or Uncle [name]John[/name].
In my own family, we always just called aunts/uncles by their first names. We had our own nicknames for some of them, ie. my aunt [name]Fiona[/name] was always called Fi or [name]Fifi[/name] by us kids. My aunt [name]Eileen[/name] was Eil or Eily (eye-lee) from the time we were tiny.
[name]Even[/name] with my own nieces and nephews, I’m [name]Gracie[/name], never [name]Grace[/name] or Aunt [name]Grace[/name].
These responses are very interesting to me, I’m really enjoying this thread.
Awesome discussion! I’m not sure where I stand on the “calling parents by their first names” issue. I was quick to think that it’s disrespectful, but after reading & thinking about it, I’ve decided that it’s just strange to me. I would never call my parents by their first names. [name]Even[/name] when I’ve had to get their attention in a hurry, I’ve gone up to them and talked to them, instead of called out their first names. It’s just weird and totally unnatural for me.
Most of the time, my extended family has been called by titles w/ first names or just titles. My dad’s parents were Gommy & Paboo, which I came up with as a tiny kid, and no one ever tried to correct me. My younger brother called them that too. But in recent times, I’ve figured that Grandma & Grandpa are probably better. lol I have one aunt who is only 11 years older than me. So, I fluctuate between Aunt [name]Sheri[/name] and just [name]Sheri[/name]. [name]Even[/name] she does in cards and things. It’s like calling her Aunt [name]Sheri[/name] is unnecessary & formal because we feel more like cousins/friends when we get together. Same with her husband, who is usually just [name]Kevin[/name]. Uncle [name]Kevin[/name] seems formal & unnecessary.
On my mom’s side, my grandparents are Papito & Abuelita, as my mom’s heritage is [name]Costa[/name] Rican. Only my mom’s sister is [name]Tia[/name] though. Her brothers are Uncle Wag ([name]Wagner[/name])/[name]Rob[/name]/[name]Max[/name]. I’m not really sure how that happened. And like with my aunt [name]Sheri[/name], my uncle [name]Max[/name] is sometimes Uncle [name]Max[/name] and sometimes just [name]Max[/name] for the same reason. I guess it’s because I’m closer with them than other aunts & uncles, and they’re younger than the others. So I don’t feel the need to use titles.
I hope that when I have kids, we’re Mom & Dad or whatever variations. I have no idea what our parents will want to be called.
My friend’s due next month. Her in-laws are [name]Candy[/name] ([name]Candace[/name]) & [name]Bob[/name] and want to be called [name]Candy[/name] [name]Gram[/name] & Grandbob. lol Too funny!
Parents: Mom/Dad/variations thereof
Stepdad: given name
Maternal Grandparents: Grammy [Surname], Grampy
Paternal Grandparents: Grandma, Grandpa
Step Grandparents: Grandma GivenName, Grandpa GivenName, Grammy [Surname], Grandpop
I also had a great grandmother whom we just called Great Grandma [Surname]
We were never supposed to call older people by their first name. It was always Mr./Mrs./Miss and then either their first or last name. We even had a few close family friends we referred to as Aunt or Uncle, but I think that is a little confusing for kids.
Calling a parent by hiis or her first name tends to be a sign of disrespect. However, I’m sure there are some families where the parents made the choice and this is not the case. My cousin has called her father by his first name since she was 12. It definitely was meant to be taken as a direct insult and she did it purposely to annoy him as a teenager. That seems to be the type of situation I’ve heard happening the most, although that doesn’t mean there are not plenty of exceptions.
I’m Mommy or Mama - the two-year-old still calls me this last one. I’m sure I’ll eventually become Mom as my kids get older. My oldest is only five.
Their grandparents are Grandpa and [name]Nonnie[/name]. My Mom didn’t want to be called Grandma so she came up with this for herself. Some of my kids have started calling her Grandma anyway.
My kids call me and DH Mommy and Daddy - [name]Cora[/name] has always said these properly, but [name]Eliza[/name] called us Mama and Da for a while - she still does occasionally. My parents are Grammy [name]Laura[/name] (my mum’s name is [name]Laura[/name]) and Grandpa, although [name]Eliza[/name] called my mum Gammy-Lo for a while. My in-laws are Gran and Papa.
All mom & dad in my family. I’d prefer something different so threads like this are fun for me!
Hubs calls his father by his first name, but it’s more playful and also due to the fact that father-in-law has kind of a funny sounding name that’s fun to say. He calls extended relatives by first names, but grandparents grandma and grandpa ______. I call aunts and uncles Aunt _____ and Uncle ______.
I’m in high school and don’t have any kids, but I call my parents mom and dad! I think it would be wierd to call them by their first names! As for aunts and uncles, when I’m talking about them like to my parents or something, I’ll say “Aunt [name]Lissa[/name]” or “Uncle [name]David[/name]” but when I’m actually talking to them I just call them by their first names! I call all my grandparents (even my great grandparents) just plain Grandma and Grandpa! I say them more like “Gramma” and “Granpa” though! Unless thats how everyone says them… Lol. But when I’m talking about a specific one, I’ll say “Grandma [name]Elizabeth[/name]” etc.
This is an interesting topic in my family. Different branches have their own names.
My parents, though I’m 23, are playfully called Mummy and Daddy. In casual conversation they’re just Mum and Dad. In reference to them with others they are Mother and Father.
My grandmother is called Mamaw, unless I want something and then she’s Memaw. My grandfathers were Papaw and Papaw _____.
My great grandparents were Mama surname and Papaw surname.
My mother for the longest time said she would never be called Memaw because it made her sound old. She chose to be called Gamma instead. As in ‘alpha’, ‘beta’, and ‘gamma’.
My cousin’s fiance upon hearing the name for the first time chose to use it for my aunt. My mother was taken aback, as she had “claimed” the name for years. The woman didn’t know, of course. So, my aunt teases my mother about it. Being the two youngest in their family, they refuse to share.
A few months later my niece was born and my parents are called Memaw and Papaw.
I’ve decided these are not the names my child will use. I think I like [name]Nana[/name] and Papaw more. I’ll have to take some time to research before my child is born.
I suppose I’ll be Mum as well. Mama when the child is young.
As for other branches, cousins and such, they tend to use first names. At first I was shocked. I would never talk to my parents that way! [name]Just[/name] their way, I suppose.
Mostly I call them Mum and Dad. Other times my siblings and I call them fun things like the Latin Mater/Pater, the French Maman/Papa, the humourous Mother/Father. Sometimes we call them by their first names as a joke, too. My parents find it funny, not disrespectful.