What happens if you met someone mean with your intended baby name?

[name_m]Hi[/name_m],

I recently had a name on my shortlist which I loved. It was on my first shortlist and was on my shortlist second time around.

However, I met someone in my parent circles who was very nasty to me during a previously tough time. Some people don’t want to be reminded of school bullies, or exes, or work colleagues with any given name.

I was hoping that I would be able to avoid this person, but they’ve popped up again in my circle. And still horrible :roll_eyes:

I wouldn’t want to name someone after a negative person, but I’m also of the opinion that lots of people repeat names. You can have millions of [name_u]James[/name_u] and Johns or [name_f]Janes[/name_f]. Not all of these people are mean.

For me, it was enough to not use the name that I loved. I didn’t want the person to think I was naming after them. Mean people might be temporarily in my life, but some people leave bad taste or memories for a reason.

What do you all think? Is this a common thing?

What would you do in a similar situation?

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it really depends on how deeply the person is associated with you

like if you hear/see the name and still think of your future child, then it’s okay, but if you think of that person it might be an issue.

i feel like i might have not used the name i love, especially since people would assume that i am honouring that person, which would be pretty annoying.

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I can see your points! :grinning:

In my case, I was in a similar boat, but I can use another honour name, but it is a very unique name. I think you should always have a plan b.

1, that wouldn’t happen, I like very unique names. :slight_smile:

2, it would be absolutely RUINED for me! :sob:

[name_f]My[/name_f] cousin is named [name_u]James[/name_u] & [name_f]My[/name_f] aunt’s ex is [name_u]Jamie[/name_u] though, so…

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If I know someone unkind with the name, the name can get ruined. That happened to me with [name_f]Meryem[/name_f]. I still like the name but wouldn’t use it.

If I meet a person with the name, that would be nice! [name_f]My[/name_f] names are mostly unusual so I’d like to know they exist :slight_smile: And maybe I’d ask them how they feel about living with that name.

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I’ve never had this experience with any of my favourite names (thankfully), but there are certainly some names I don’t like because of bad experiences with people named them.

If I was in your position, I would probably drop the name. I can’t imagine using a name that I have a strongly negative association with. And I certainly wouldn’t want a unkind person to think I named my child after them.

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For me after a while if I meet someone just terrible it can mess up a name for me, but me personally after a while the association the association starts to go away (harder for you though cause you’re in more in contact), or you met/hear of a much better association with that name.

Bit of a story

An example for me, I absolutely ADORE the name [name_m]Joaquin[/name_m], I’ve loved it since I’ve heard of it when I was little, but when I got older I met someone named [name_m]Joaquin[/name_m] who literally shaped one of my worse memories in my life and messed up my already horrible mental heath even more. I couldn’t hear the name without thinking of pain, but as time on, and years passed, I got a lot better and I discovered one of my favorite actors [name_m]Joaquin[/name_m] [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u], he after a while because my main association and now I’m back to loving the name. Yea I still think of the other [name_m]Joaquin[/name_m], but he’s much more insignificant now than he was before.

So like this there’s always a chance that a better association could come up or maybe after a while you just simply don’t associate it with her. If I were you I’d keep it on the list, but maybe take it off the short, and hope that one day she’s completely out of your life or something better comes up, I totally get you not wanting to think it’s an honor for her but I think if you really really love it and it’s something you could completely imagine naming a kid then I think it’s still worth some consideration, or maybe for a middle.

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If I really loved the name I wouldnt let that one nasty person get in the way. Dont worry about them thinking youve named after them (would they really think that??) since if they ask you can just tell them nope! Your child would be the most important bearer of the name, not them. Of course this assumes you actually do love the name. Personally I have known some questionable people but no names that I love have been ruined. Some names that were neutral have been ruined though!

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Thanks for your advice everyone!

Unfortunately since my OP, this individual’s child recently attacked mine during a play time meet (:face_with_symbols_over_mouth::cold_sweat:). It’s not behaviour I model and knowing the adult is a bully just makes me sad about the situation…I got out of dodge and keeping well from that pit of negativity.

Might need some garlic and holy water for extra “keep the hell away” for good measure (for adult not the child).

I feel like the name is ruined for good :thinking: On the plus side I think I found my Plan B:

The name I liked is distinct (liked it to honour someone else)…but the name “sound” can be found in a couple of other names.

[name_u]Silver[/name_u] linings!

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Exes, even ones with nice names, also count on the “no go list” :sob::sob::sob:

I agree!

I mentioned it up above, but now my child was attacked by this individual’s child during a mass play session (the mean person’s child boldly walked up to mine and went for it) - definitely off limits :dizzy_face:

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Awe, I hope your kid is doing ok! The situation sucks, but at least you you got some good out of it being able to find similar names! Best luck :yellow_heart:

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Personally, I don’t think I’d really mind… Enough people hate me as it is

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That won’t happen, I like very unique names.