I know a lot of people like names to “go together”, some people even like patterns, or things to match in the names.
I’m curious as to what you guys think makes a pattern.
After three names that are the same are you stuck with the pattern? After two?
Does gender render a new pattern? Does it include both genders?
Would you use a pattern or similarity? Have you used them? What are they?
Thanks.
I’m kind of obsessed with using another 4 letter names to go along with my son [name_u]Owen[/name_u]. Not sure what I’d do with a 3rd!
I definitely am more lenient on style matching across genders though (in the same sib-set).
This is a very subjective topic so you may get entirely different answers from every poster because it totally depends on each individual’s preference and comfort level when it comes to baby naming.
Patterns come in many forms and “going together” doesn’t necessarily mean “matchy”. I have one guideline that I follow: two names that share a similarity are a COINCIDENCE (eg. your two long-time favourite names happen to begin with the same initial); three or more names that share the same similarity is a PATTERN. Once a “pattern” has begun, the pressure to break it will become more difficult and therefore your name choices are limited.
I prefer sibling names that have a certain cohesiveness so the children sound like they’ve been named by the same set of parents and belong to the same family unit. The names just seem like “natural fits” for siblings rather than being “matchy” in sound or look.
Style - many styles can be mixed quite easily (eg. classic, traditional, vintage and mythological). If I had two daughters, I would not feel comfortable with one girl having a unisex name while the other has a frilly and feminine name. I prefer to be consistent so this guideline applies to both genders.
I love history and literature so the names I like usually reflect those loves. I gravitate to names that have a history behind them. Modern inventions really don’t attract me because they have no past assocation that I can relate to (eg. a great historical namesake or literary character).
Length - I don’t care so much about syllable count because some short names can have multiple syllables. However, the length of the name is important to me. Does one name look really short compared to the others? For example, the names [name_f]Claire[/name_f] and [name_f]Isabel[/name_f] have different syllables but they’re fine together because they’re both classic names of six letters each.
I prefer each child to have their own unique name and that means no shared initial (the Kardashians), similar sounds ([name_u]Aiden[/name_u], [name_m]Kaden[/name_m] and [name_u]Jayden[/name_u]), the same ending (n’s are my pet peeve). There are always exceptions of course. For example in some European countries, the only choices for girls are names ending in the letter “a” so it wouldn’t bother me if someone named their three girls [name_f]Renata[/name_f], [name_f]Emilia[/name_f] and [name_f]Leonora[/name_f].
I would NOT choose a THEME as far as FIRST NAMES are concerned as it seems a bit cheesy to me. However, I think it would be ok to put the names [name_f]Rose[/name_f], [name_f]Violet[/name_f] and [name_f]Lily[/name_f] in the middle spot for a more subtle connection between the girls.
In the end though, whatever guidelines you follow (or whether you have guidelines or not), the best advice I can give is to choose a name that you [name_u]LOVE[/name_u], that means something to you, that you feel a connection to.
I don’t think you are ever “stuck” with a pattern. It’s one thing for kids to have a pattern because the parents like similar names, but I don’t think it’s right to pass over a name that is loved for one that matches the pattern. Siblings are only together for so long. Once they are adults, unless asked, no one will know the names of the person’s siblings or if there is a pattern.
I’m not big on patterns/themes in a sibset, especially when it comes to twins. It’s too Kardashian/Duggers for me. I would rather give a name that I love and sounds weird with the other siblings rather than a name that fit a certain pattern.
There are some patterns that aren’t too bad. For example, the middle name connection between siblings can be really cute. It’s not in your face as a first name and something special they share. I also think that subtle themes can be cute. Like if you name your children: [name_m]Caspian[/name_m], [name_u]Kai[/name_u], [name_u]Brooke[/name_u], and [name_f]Rhea[/name_f]. There is that water connection between them that isn’t in-your-face for most people who don’t know the meaning of names.
Edit: I just realized if I went with my first choice names, they would all start with vowels. I guess I don’t dislike patterns as much as I thought 
I feel that the name of the first child (for me) will definitely set a tone. I think if we named our first child Ingimar or Svala, then we would not be able to name the second child Óskar or [name_f]El[/name_f]ísabet. I mean, yes, obviously we could, but they are so different in style to me that it would feel weird. Plus depending on how our children feel about international vs Icelandic name I don’t want one sibling to feel like they got short-changed in some way, like jealous of the other sibling’s name. So I think I would definitely prefer to have two children with Icelandic names, or two children with international names. Not one of each.
Having said that, I feel that too much similarity is just as important to avoid, for me, as too much difference. I would not particularly want names to begin with the same letter, or end in the same way, or mean the same thing, etc etc.
For me, the sex of the children makes no difference, I would feel the same way about 2 boys, 2 girls or 1 of each.
I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to a loose theme (e.g. I love a lot of bird names, so it would be easy for me to have a ‘bird sibset’ and I wouldn’t consider that a deal-breaker), however it wouldn’t be my first choice.
This is actually one of the reasons I quite want to have a boy first, because I love a lot more boy names and it will be easier to pick just one girl name (if the 2nd child should be a girl) to fit with that. 2 girls would be a real naming challenge for me because the names I love are either very similar or too different!
I only want 2 children, so I don’t think I will ever get into serious problems, though.
Patterns to me are three or more. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom’s half siblings are [name_m]Steven[/name_m] [name_u]James[/name_u], [name_f]Susan[/name_f] [name_f]Jane[/name_f] and [name_f]Sally[/name_f] [name_u]Jo[/name_u]. There is a very set pattern. Had they been [name_m]Steven[/name_m] [name_u]James[/name_u], [name_f]Sally[/name_f] [name_u]Francis[/name_u] and [name_f]Susan[/name_f] [name_u]Ren[/name_u]é; it still a pattern but (to me) a much more tolerable one.
With my future children there might be some similarities in the middle names. [name_m]Gawain[/name_m], [name_m]Caradoc[/name_m] and [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] or Hycainth, [name_f]Dahlia[/name_f] and [name_u]Sage[/name_u]. Or if I’m crossing genders [name_m]Leif[/name_m], [name_m]Rune[/name_m] and [name_f]Eira[/name_f].
However I wouldn’t use names that started with the same letter in either spot or ending with the same syllable (for example [name_m]Tanner[/name_m], [name_m]Connor[/name_m] and [name_m]Oscar[/name_m]).
For me a pattern is set by the first child’s first name but it isn’t determined completely by that name. For example:
[name_f]Holly[/name_f] - can be seen as a nature name or just a normal girls name
[name_f]Amethyst[/name_f] - very unusual object/nature name
If [name_f]Holly[/name_f] is the first name of the first child then I can go in a lot of different directions: nature, traditional, vintage, unisex - it’s pretty open with the next kids names.
If [name_f]Amethyst[/name_f] is the first child’s first name then I have made a commitment. The next names could be nature names, gem names, or unusual names but not conservative-traditional. Can’t do DD1 [name_f]Amethyst[/name_f] and DD2 [name_f]Mary[/name_f].
Second child, opposite gender
But if the second child is the opposite gender of the first child, then I have the opportunity to go in a different direction because gender offers leeway for a new or different pattern. So if the first kid is named [name_f]Amethyst[/name_f] then I could probably get away with [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]…but I’d feel more pressure to choose something like [name_m]Cyrus[/name_m].
Two kids & expecting a third:
Let’s say I chose [name_f]Holly[/name_f] & [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] for my first two. For the third could I choose [name_f]Amethyst[/name_f]? Probably I wouldn’t. But [name_f]Holly[/name_f] is a nature name: so maybe [name_u]Rowan[/name_u] for the third. [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] is a old traditional name so maybe [name_m]Walter[/name_m] for the third. [name_u]Marion[/name_u] feels like a similar era to [name_f]Holly[/name_f] and [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]. At this point I’m aiming for boy & girl names that fit either rule: 1) nature names that aren’t too far out or 2) traditional names from roughly the same era-feeling as [name_f]Holly[/name_f] & [name_m]Thomas[/name_m].
Lets say I chose [name_f]Amethyst[/name_f] & [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] for my first two. Can I choose [name_f]Holly[/name_f] for a second girl? [name_f]Amethyst[/name_f], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], and [name_f]Holly[/name_f] - suddenly [name_f]Amethyst[/name_f] doesn’t make much sense. So in this case I would use gender-specific rules: 1) look for unusual, gem, or nature name for a second girl - like [name_f]Pearl[/name_f], [name_f]Opal[/name_f]. And 2) an old-traditional name for a boy - [name_m]Walter[/name_m], [name_m]George[/name_m], [name_m]Arthur[/name_m].
Unisex names versus gender-specific names:
If I name a first girl [name_u]Avery[/name_u] or a first boy [name_u]Morgan[/name_u] then I have a particular dilemma. Unisex names are a commitment to, well, unisex names. The reason why is if DD1 is [name_u]Avery[/name_u] and I name DS1 [name_u]James[/name_u], then [name_u]Avery[/name_u] & [name_u]James[/name_u] look like I have two sons, not a daughter and a son. Unisex names usually mean that the next child, regardless of gender, will have to have a unisex name too.
Unisex names often pair rather well with nature names, since nature names are often unisex (at least in English). So if the first kid is named [name_u]Morgan[/name_u], I’d consider another unisex name, like [name_u]Avery[/name_u], or a nature name like [name_u]Sage[/name_u].
I have just noticed on the three girls name I love all of their middle names begin with an M:
[name_u]Shannen[/name_u] [name_f]Moira[/name_f]
[name_f]Heather[/name_f] [name_u]Michele[/name_u]
[name_f]Vada[/name_f] [name_f]Margaret[/name_f]
I don’t necessarily mind the pattern but now I wish I hadn’t started one. [name_m]Both[/name_m] of my sons have ah ending names and now I feel obligated to find another ah ending name. Granted when I found those names I wasn’t as enthralled In the naming world as I am now so I’m not sure I would have found the names I have now but still. I feel like if I pick another a ending name that’s it, I’m stuck.
I think maybe it’s harder for people like those that frequent websites like this on a regular basis. We are so exposed to so many names that it’s hard to say yes to one pattern or theme where as someone who just looks at names while pregnant might be able to stick to a theme or pattern more easily. I mean it was for me when I had my second son. Had I known then what I know now, I can’t say he would have the same name.