What to do when you love a name but hate nick names.

Girl Names
1

I am not a nick name person. My living children are [name_m]Milo[/name_m], [name_m]Holden[/name_m] and [name_f]Izabella[/name_f] and they all get called those names. I’ve never been into nick names much or occasionally I like a name where one nick name isn’t bad but I hate the others. My top names.

[name_f]Evangeline[/name_f]- I like [name_f]Lena[/name_f], evie or [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] hate the idea of [name_u]Angie[/name_u] or vangie

[name_f]Felicity[/name_f]- I like this name because there aren’t a lot of obvious nick names but don’t like some that people have said like flick, fliss.

[name_f]Gillian[/name_f]- I like [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] if I had to choose a nick name maybe even gilly (jilly) but I find [name_f]Jill[/name_f] rather dull.

[name_f]Lorelei[/name_f]- don’t care for [name_u]Rory[/name_u] or [name_f]Lori[/name_f] but like [name_u]Rory[/name_u] better if I had to pick. I prefer [name_u]Rory[/name_u] for a boy and I just loathe [name_f]Lori[/name_f]. I was cheated on a with a [name_f]Lori[/name_f] so that’s a sore spot for me.

[name_f]Matilda[/name_f]- I can stand [name_f]Millie[/name_f] but cringe at the thought of [name_u]Matty[/name_u].

I’m running out of names I like and the few left I do like I either hate the nick names for it or the ones I like aren’t the first most obvious ones.

What would you do? I have tried telling people not to call my daughter izzy but kids at school do and family still does they just don’t listen :confused:

2

I love almost all the names you suggested. Evangeline is a beautiful name, while Lorelei (spelled Loreley) and Matilda (spelled Mathilda) have been longtime favourites. I like Felicity but not as much as the other names, I like its sound but I don’t like to use words as names even if they are used for years. To me it’s weird but everyone has their own tastes. I’m neutral towards Gillian but definitely I don’t like it as much as your other names.

I could not understand why is a nickame so important. I named my daughter Maria and she goes by it. In our family there are Russians who called her Masha, Germans who called her Maike while on school many called her Mary. I don’t like them but neither does my daughter so she always corrected them and now everyone calls her Maria (except of her boyfriend who calls her Marilyn. We like it because the reason behind it is sweet).

I think that if you like a name, use its full form or the nicknames you like. Maybe your daughter has to correct people sometimes but I think she will mostly go by her full name (school, work etc.). Family and friends will call her by the name she goes, either it’s a full form or a nickname you or she chose. But if your little Izabella loves Izzy, you should accept it, if she doesn’t she has to tell it. If your future Evangeline or Lorelei wants to go by Angie or Rory, it will be her choice but you can always call her by her full name or the nickname you like (I always go by Nora but my father insists on calling me Leona).

I suggest that you use one of your favourite names and always refer to your future daughter by it or your favourite nickname. You should also teach your children not to answer when somebody calls them by other names. When my daughter was younger she told me to tell people she’s Maria and not Maike/Masha/Mary etc. I told her not to answer. Maybe it’s somehow rude but this was the only way my family learned to call her Maria. Something like “How’s Angie?” “Who’s Angie?” until they learn to call her Evangeline.

Good luck :slight_smile:

3

I have this problem sometimes, too.

I love the names…

[name_m]Theodore[/name_m] - but really don’t like nicknames [name_u]Teddy[/name_u], Ted or [name_u]Theo[/name_u]. Though I am warming up to nn [name_u]Theo[/name_u] because I know [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] is the type of name that would be very hard not to have a nickname come along with it.

[name_m]Samson[/name_m] - I don’t mind the name [name_u]Sam[/name_u], but it’s a little blah for me. I would much prefer them to just be called [name_m]Samson[/name_m] all the time.

[name_f]Clementine[/name_f] - I reallllly don’t care for any nicknames that goes with this name like, [name_u]Clem[/name_u], [name_u]Clemmie[/name_u], Menty, [name_f]Minnie[/name_f]. [name_m]Just[/name_m] not my style. But [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] is a bit of a mouthful. I would probably save this for the middle name spot.

[name_m]Cormac[/name_m] - A new favorite of mine. I don’t like nickname [name_m]Cor[/name_m] or [name_u]Cory[/name_u] though. I think [name_m]Cormac[/name_m] is so handsome and unique on it’s own. But I could deal with nickname [name_m]Mac[/name_m].

[name_u]August[/name_u] - Another handsome name. Not a fan of the nickname [name_u]Gus[/name_u] or Auggie though.

[name_f]Matilda[/name_f] - Really don’t care for the nickname [name_f]Maddie[/name_f], but I could probably deal with nickname [name_f]Tillie[/name_f].

4

Also, your situation reminds me of my sister. Her name is [name_f]Gabrielle[/name_f] and she prefers to go by [name_f]Gabrielle[/name_f]. But ALL of her friends growing up called her [name_u]Gabby[/name_u]. She cringes every time. I think once they are old enough to understand, you just have to keep telling them to tell their friends not to call them a nickname. Sometimes as a young child though is can be hard… especially if children have trouble pronouncing their name.

5

It depends how much you hate nicknames. If your family still calls your daughter [name_u]Izzy[/name_u], you can stop them from seeing [name_f]Izabella[/name_f] until they learn to call her by her real name. If kids at school do it, you can tell your daughter to correct her classmates that her name is [name_f]Izabella[/name_f] and if her classmates refuse, talk to the teacher about it and have the teacher discipline [name_f]Izabella[/name_f]'s classmates and teach them about respect.

6

I have this problem with [name_m]Philip[/name_m] and [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] (I can’t stand [name_u]Phil[/name_u] or [name_m]Ed[/name_m]). I think as long as you only call them by their full name it’s fine. They may get people who call them a nickname, but you can always correct them. Of all your names I would say [name_f]Felicity[/name_f] is the least likely to get nicknamed as it doesn’t have any that are super intuitive. If I had to choose a nickname for [name_f]Felicity[/name_f], my first instinct would be Lissy, but I would never call her that unless I had heard someone else call her that first.

7

I think it’s hard to enforce no nicknames, especially with a longer name. I agree that [name_f]Felicity[/name_f] doesn’t have any obvious nicknames, and I feel the same about [name_f]Gillian[/name_f] (especially with the “G” spelling!). [name_f]Jill[/name_f] is no longer in style, and, as for as I know, the two little Jillians I know are both just [name_f]Jillian[/name_f]. [name_f]Matilda[/name_f], [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f], and [name_f]Lorelei[/name_f] I can see being shortened (although [name_f]Lorelei[/name_f] was just [name_f]Lorelei[/name_f] in GG!). My sister is a [name_f]Natalie[/name_f] and it was never short for anything until I suggested [name_u]Tallie[/name_u] one day, and [name_f]Matilda[/name_f] and [name_f]Lorelei[/name_f] have just as many syllables (and letters!). [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] is a little longer, and I can see it getting shortened to [name_f]Evie[/name_f] pretty quickly. But if you don’t mind that, then I think it’s fine. I go through phases of LOVING nicknames and then liking the full names, but some names on my list I wouldn’t want to be shortened (like [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]! I hate [name_m]Tom/name_m, lol. I guess I could go for Tommo or Masso if I really had to, but I love the gentle, wise, intelligent feel of just [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]. [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]. It’s so beautiful. I used to be that way about [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f], too. I’m happy with [name_f]Bella[/name_f] when she’s little, now, but I love just [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f] and would call her that about 85% of the time.), and I guess it’s just a risk I’ll have to take. I think those are on the verge of being nn’d. I think your best bet is to choose a name you love, and plan on not using nns, but if one you don’t like starts to crop up, have a back-up nn that you’d be okay with picked out. [name_f]Matilda[/name_f], for example. You don’t like [name_u]Matty[/name_u], so you could plan on no nns, but if [name_u]Matty[/name_u] starts creeping up, offer politely, “Oh, we call her [name_f]Millie[/name_f].” Or [name_f]Tilly[/name_f]. Or even [name_f]Lily[/name_f] or [name_f]Tilda[/name_f], or [name_f]Em/name_f. Whatever.

I don’t think they’re totally preventable, but if you have another option, it seems to help quite a bit. My sister is [name_f]Rebecca[/name_f] and HATES [name_f]Becky[/name_f] with a passion, but she quite likes [name_f]Becca[/name_f]. So when a new acquaintance tries to pawn off [name_f]Becky[/name_f] on her, she just says, “No, sorry, it’s just [name_f]Becca[/name_f].” or “[name_m]Hi[/name_m], I’m [name_f]Rebecca[/name_f], but call me [name_f]Becca[/name_f].” or even just “Call me [name_f]Becca[/name_f].” It’s worked for her. :slight_smile:

8

I think you’d be fine with [name_f]Felicity[/name_f], [name_f]Lorelei[/name_f], or [name_f]Matilda[/name_f]. [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] and [name_f]Gillian[/name_f] are just too easy to shorten to [name_f]Evie[/name_f] and [name_u]Gilly[/name_u]. Unless you establish [name_u]Rory[/name_u], or [name_f]Millie[/name_f] as nicknames, I don’t think people would assume and call them that. However it’s mostly impossible to control what a child’s friends or other family members want to call them if they are nickname people… as well as what the child themselves will want to be called as they get older.

9

It seems reality that when we choose longer names for our children, they do get shortened to a nickname so we should avoid any of those names where we strongly dislike the nn. I actually prefer short names that would be very difficult to shorten.

10

There is a persistent myth on nameberry that a parent can control the nicknames given to her child.

It is ridiculous!

The most you can do is name your child something nice that you like, hope that she likes it too, and that she doesn’t change her name.

While you don’t have to use a nickname, it is none of your business if other people do. You don’t own your child and there are certainly a lot bigger things to worry about in life than this.

I just read some responses including asking the teacher to discipline other children for using a nickname for their child. Geez Louise! Do we live in a police state? Let’s get some reality folks!

11

Longer names tend to get nicknames unfortunately. People are too lazy these days lol That’s why you have more issues with your daughter’s name than your sons. Theirs are already short. If you hate nicknames, I would suggest revamping your list and find a 1 to 2 syllable name that you like.

12

I think that while a child is really young it’s understandable for a parent to dictate what the child is called. If people are not cooperating, a parent can take a stand and say something to the ‘name offender.’

When a child gets older, there’s little a parent can do to prevent a child being referred to as a nickname, assuming, of course, that the child doesn’t mind or likes. In the end of the day, it’s about the child and his/her social identity. Not the parents’.

I happen to have kids who go by very specific things (multiple names, or a double name with one of thing being a nickname…) and we always tell/correct people who get it wrong. When the kids get old enough, they’ll either do it themselves, like we do, or they’ll decide to go by something else. We hope they love their names and want to stick with what we (and everyone else) calls them now!

13

There are certain names that people will naturally shorten, usually without asking for permission to do so - Izabella is one of those. Unfortunately, Gillian, Matilda, and Evangeline would probably go that way too.

What you CAN do is ask teachers, loved ones, etc. to use her full name and also teach the child to correct others when they try to shorten her name, but eventually the child may not want to do that. You could also choose a NN you do like as opposed to the more standard NN for that particular name, and let teachers/loved ones know and teach your child to correct the NN if needed. Again, in the future the child might decide they like whatever they’re mistakenly being called or don’t care one way or the other.

I’ve included some thoughts about the NN situation and alternative possible NNs for those on your list below:

Evangeline: I also like Lena and Gigi, but I think this name is most likely to get shortened to Eva or Evie by people that don’t already know the nickname (like teachers), but you could also go with Eve, Elle, Ellie, Lia, Lila, Vee, Nina or Vivi.

Felicity - I’d say this is the least likely to get shortened against your will, unless it’s by a very close family member or friend using it as more of a term of endearment/“just between the two of us” special NN rather than something that will catch on. If you wanted to introduce a possible NN for loved ones to use, Lissa, Lettie, Tia, CeCe, Cissy or something silly like “City Girl” works.

Gillian - People will probably assume she goes by Gill unless she actually goes by Gigi most of the time. Ali, Lia, Lily/Lilly, Lena, Gina and Nina are also options.

Lorelei - People might naturally shorten to “Lor” but I can see that being more like friends or family members trying to get her attention rather than what they actually call her or what teachers call her. I’d say NN options you could actually introduce people to (as in, they probably would not pick it up for themselves) include Lo, Loe (however you want to spell it… like it rhymes with Zoe and Chloe), Lorna, Lora, Leila/Lila, Leia, Lia and Lola.

Matilda - Probably naturally going to get shortened to either Mattie or Tillie, like you said. Other NN options you could introduce to people though include Mia, Tia, Lia, Ali, Mila and maybe Maya.

14

I have a friend with a daughter called [name_f]Katherine[/name_f]. She hated most of the nickname options and didn’t want anyone to call her daughter by those nns so she chose one herself ([name_f]Kitty[/name_f]) and called her that from the day she was born. As a result everyone calls her [name_f]Kitty[/name_f] including school teachers and all family members.

So I think that if you want to pick the nickname that is used for your daughter the best thing you can do is to choose one you like and use it always. You can’t exclusively call her by her full name yourself but also pick what others call her. You’ve got to lead the way.

This will only work until she gets to school age. If she introduces herself by the nickname you chose others will probably use it. If she prefers something else or a friend suggests something else then she’ll use that.

[name_f]Felicity[/name_f] is often shortened to ‘[name_u]Fee[/name_u]’.

15

Well where I live, nicknames are the norm, and they are picked by the parents, and those nicknames are respected. So it’s not the parents trying to control their child; them giving them a nickname is the same as giving them a first name, or a middle. It’s just how it’s done here. My name is [name_f]Josephine[/name_f], my parents nicknamed me [name_u]Jo[/name_u], and that’s what I go by. If someone says [name_m]Hi[/name_m] [name_u]Josie[/name_u], I correct them just as if they had called me [name_f]Karen[/name_f]. [name_u]Jo[/name_u] is as much my name as [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] is. The same goes for my husband, his name is [name_m]Robert[/name_m], but he is known as [name_u]Robbie[/name_u].
So we will be picking a nickname for our child, as that will be the name that is used on a day to day basis. If we use [name_f]Matilda[/name_f], [name_u]Mattie[/name_u] will be the nickname, I loathe [name_f]Tillie[/name_f]. If we use [name_f]Adelaide[/name_f], [name_f]Ada[/name_f] will be the nickname. We put as much time and thought into the child’s nicknames, so for people to disregard that would be seen as disrespectful. [name_f]Pet[/name_f] names are completely different, my siblings call me Phiney now and then, and that’s fine. But nicknames around here are used more regularly then full names. I think a lot of people on here automatically presume nicknames are like pet name, but that’s definitely not always the case.

16

Thank you! My thoughts exactly.