When did you start leaving breastfed baby with other caregiver?

[name_m]Hi[/name_m], just wondering about others’ experiences with this (for mothers who breastfed their baby) - when did you first try leaving them alone for a bit with their father or another caregiver, and how did it go? I would like for her father to have a go being completely responsible for her, and it would also be nice to be able to go out and see a friend or something for a couple of hours without worrying about her, but of course it is tricky because she is still very unpredictable with when she wants to eat. When did yours get into a routine such that you could feed them and then be confident that dad or someone else could look after them for a bit without you and they wouldn’t want to eat again until x o’clock? With Freyja it could be 2 hours until she wants more or 15 minutes!

We have also tried having him give her a bottle of breastmilk a few times (while I am still in the house though) and she drinks it but is very unhappy about it! It seems to do nothing to comfort her like breastfeeding does, and I have actually had to put her on the breast right after to settle her, so it has not really reduced the need for me to be there when she is hungry at all. I did stay in another room so she wouldn’t get angry about me being right there but not breastfeeding her, but apparently it didn’t work! Plus then she seems to eat too much, because a couple of times she has spit it all up again. Does this just need more practice or do you think she simply isn’t ready for it?

I know she’s still very young (almost 8 weeks) and I’m not trying to rush it, but just curious as to when babies can generally handle being without mum and the boobs for a short while?

P.S. So far all the separation we have tried is me popping out to the shop while she is napping (gone about 15-20 mins) and him taking her out for a walk in the pram, which she generally sleeps for (gone about 20-30 mins).

I exclusively breastfed and went back to work at 13 weeks. I know I left her for little trips to the mall, etc before then, but at 13 weeks my husband took his paternity leave and kept her home. I pumped milk while I was home on leave and pumped multiple times while I was at work. I also say keep at the bottle. We tried to give Saela a bottle for the first time in weeks right before I went back to work and she totally rejected it and stressed me out. We finally found a lansinoh bottle that she liked.

You need time away too. Obviously dad should be able to handle keeping her while you go somewhere. You could probably afford to leave for like up to 2 hours. I would feed before I left, and leave milk. If she can wait to eat until you get back, great! If not, he can feed her and you can pump when you get home and save the milk for your next outing. :slight_smile:

My daughter needed to supplement so she got a bottle at about a week old and took to it fine.

From what the other moms in my BFing support group who introduced a bottle between 6-12 weeks say, the babies don’t particularly like it at first, but as long as she’s drinking it, she will be fine. Could your partner wear her or do skin-to-skin to make her more comfortable while you’re gone?

With this baby, if I am able to stay off medication and exclusively breastfeed, I do plan on introducing a bottle around 6-8 weeks of age.

I’ll be honest, I was quite a nervous first-time-mother, and I don’t think I would have left her with DH/my parents for a couple of hours until she was over 6 months old? Like you, I could do a quick run to the supermarket, or send them out for a walk but that was it.

But in saying that, she was fully breastfed, refused to take a bottle, and wasn’t interested in solids until almost a year old. Which made getting out of the house on my own quite difficult! I would say though, just give it a crack - the worst thing that can happen is you will get a call asking for you to come home early!

I think DH would have been great with her on his own even when she was little, I was just too anxious to do it :frowning: you know your baby/husband best though :slight_smile:

I’ve been in pretty similar situations with all my girls and in all honesty I barely left the house alone in the first year I don’t reckon. None of mine were very interested in the bottle and after my first I couldn’t be bothered to pump anyway. I was very keen to get my partner to be able to take tallulah as a baby and give me a break but it never worked out for very long. My break used to be a ten minute shower which I would have pumped milk for earlier so my partner could feed her and I could have a peaceful shower. Pretty tragic really.

I think after 3-4 months when naps and feed times are more established it is easier because you know you have a window of opportunity but it’s still a very small window! Then once solids are on the menu they can be offered instead of a breastfeed if she will tolerate it. I always just timed my outings with nap times and if I had an appointment and it was going to be a while then my partner would come with me and walk the baby to sleep while I was busy or whatever.

I don’t think I was particularly anxious or overbearing but I have no family nearby so no real baby minding options so I just have always been the caregiver. It always just seemed easier and I knew my baby would be happiest with me and my boobs nearby.

It is really hard to get used to with that first baby to be needed so much all the time. It does get better and it won’t be long until she is in a routine with feeding and sleeping and you can go out for an hour or two between feeds. So long as you feed her when she wakes then go out and dad can do the changing and playing and settling to sleep then she sleeps and by the time she wakes again an hour or so later you are back, tah dah!

With my first he was about a month. I knew that I was going back to work when he was three months old so I needed to get him used to it. My second we were lazy about and I think she was a few months old? She never took a bottle. Now with [name_f]Maggie[/name_f] we’re really trying hard to get her used to bottles since I hated having a baby who wouldn’t take one. She’s gone to a drop off childcare while I exercise since she was 6 weeks. And a couple weeks ago at 2 months I took just my older daughter out for lunch while my husband stayed with the baby and our oldest.

Edited to add: Go ahead and give it a little try. Plan something that’s nearby and won’t be difficult to get away from if necessary and see how it goes. Worst case you need to come home early.

Thanks everyone!

I want to get her used to this as much for her and for him as for me. I think a father should get time with his baby, and although of course he does anyway when I’m around, it’s a bit different when he can’t just give up and hand her over if he runs out of ideas. Also I will be going back to work when she’s 6 months and for the next 3 months after that she’ll be home with him, so she has to be OK with it (and bottles) by then at the latest!

Last night I went out for a 45 minute cycle and left them alone with a bottle in the fridge, and it went fine, she was calm and happy when I got back. Doesn’t sound like much but it was really nice for me, and that’s the longest we’ve done so far. She could definitely have handled longer as well, I think. On the downside he did try to give her the bottle, though, and she wasn’t having any of it this time. I think it may have been because she just wasn’t hungry yet, or so I hope. We’re trying another one this evening, because we really can’t afford to have her get worse at bottles instead of better. When she did start fussing I offered her the bottle first and she just looked at me with the most forlorn expression, like ‘Why are you doing this to me?’. It was kind of funny, but I heard it’s pretty common for them to refuse a bottle from mother when they will take it from other people so fingers crossed this doesn’t become a whole drama.