I found myself to be in quite the predicament today. Myself and a few friends met up for coffee, and what with two of us being pregnant, the conversation turned to baby names. Past experience has showed me that I don’t share name taste with any of my friends, and they almost put me off using [name]Amelie[/name] on my older DD, so I have avoided this topic of conversation with them for this reason. They haven’t been told any of our considerations for this baby.
My friends tossed around their favourites (Think [name]Jayden[/name], [name]Lexi[/name], etc) and I remained quiet, apart from throwing in a non committed “that’s nice” every now and then.
Next, one of my friends said: “[name]Noah[/name] is my favourite boy name, I’ve had it picked out for years, and I plan on using it for my first son, so none of you can steal it!”. [name]Noah[/name] is a top contender for our baby if its a boy. Now, if we do use it, it’ll look like we’re copying her even though we had long considered this name before she mentioned it.
This friend is single and is a long way off having a family of her own, though I feel that point is kind of irrelevant.
So Berries, if a friend “claimed” one of your favourite names before you, what would you do?
No one can “claim” a name (especially a name as popular as [name]Noah[/name]). The rule is: whoever has the first child, gets the name! When your friend said [name]Noah[/name] was her top name, did you say that you were considering it for your child?
I think [name]Noah[/name] is too popular to claim. I feel like you can throw a stone into a crowd (or a playpark anyway) and hit someone named [name]Noah[/name].
If you love her and she’s your friend, I wouldn’t use it. [name]Just[/name] because someone’s single and not having babies yet doesn’t mean they love the name any less. But you did have the name already, you just didn’t tell her… If she loves you, she shouldn’t get upset about you using it. Seen the Friends episode where [name]Rachel[/name] has her baby? I’m not gonna tell the whole story, but basically [name]Monica[/name]'s had [name]Emma[/name] as the name she wants for a girl for years, but she lets [name]Rachel[/name] use it because she loves her friend more than the name. That is how it should be if she’s your friend, and [name]Noah[/name] is the name that fits your child.
I always try to reverse the situation in these cases, how would you feel it if you had loved [name]Noah[/name] for ages and she used the name after you told her you loved it? You should talk to her about it, tell her that you love it and want to use it for your baby. She might very well be ok with it, and it essentially boils down to what’s more important, your friend or the name (and that goes for her as well!).
While I would put more weight on her “claiming” it if she was already pregnant too, you say it’s a top contender, not your favorite or the name that’s been chosen. It is a commonly used name so it’s not surprising that one of your friends likes it too, and it’s probably too common to be claimed at all, but if you have other names on your list that you love just as much, why make a fight over it?
As a single girl who’s loved the name [name]Elizabeth[/name] for years I can say if one of my friends used it first I would be ok with them useing it since they had a baby first but they better not have an issue when I use it one day because it’s my name! So my question for you is if you use it first and she still uses it one day would you be ok with it? If not then I wouldn’t use [name]Noah[/name] if I were you.
I think this is great advice!
I also agree with averelladavina- that you using it doesn’t mean she won’t use it. I can tell you that if one of my friends used the name [name]Edmund[/name] before I have the chance to, they’d better be fine with me having an [name]Edmund[/name] as well because that’s what I’ve wanted to use for a son since I was in grade 3.
“First come, first served” is great, but it doesn’t mean “first come, only one served.”
Thank you for all of your replies. I know [name]Noah[/name] is very common in the US, but where I live, it isn’t. I don’t know a single [name]Noah[/name] of any age, and its definitely considered unusual where I am.
When she said she had chosen it, I was so speechless and shocked, I stayed quiet. I’m now kicking myself for not speaking up.
To those who asked about how likely we are to use it…Its a toss up between [name]William[/name] and [name]Noah[/name] at this stage, so yes, it is/was a strong contender.
The opinions so far have been really helpful, thank you.