We have done it differently with each of our four. The initials-at-the-baby-shower game is a fun idea, but I’m afraid people would think you were super obnoxious if they didn’t get to find out at the end of the shower.
With our first we never really decided on his name until about a week before he was born, and changed the middle name once we met him. We had been throwing around an unusual name the whole pregnancy though, so some people were really surprised when we actually used it, and some people were not surprised at all.
Second baby I was well into the third trimester before I found the name. I thought I told the whole family, but 6 years later only my mom says she knew! So I guess we only told the parents.
Third baby we didn’t announce anything AT ALL because we chose her name super early and were dead set on it ([name]Eve[/name]). But that Pixar [name]Wall[/name]-E movie came out at the same time and all my younger teen siblings were going around saying “EEEEVAAAA” in that annoying robot voice. I was super paranoid that she would get stuck with that robot nickname instead of the nn we wanted ([name]Evie[/name]) so we didn’t breathe a word of it until she showed up. It made everyone crazy, lol.
This time it took forever to decide on something we liked but we did tell the immediate family a few weeks ago, about a month before the due date. We thought they might want some time to get used to it, lol. They are good about not being rude though, I think they are prepared for something obscure and unusual at this point.