[name_m]Hi[/name_m] everyone. I live in the US and I’m entering my first year of teaching (public high school) this [name_f]September[/name_f]. My husband and I both want children and we definitely both agree that ttc/birthing our first child during my first year of teaching is not a good idea. My question is this: Is aiming to give birth at the end of my second year of teaching (ideally in early-mid [name_f]May[/name_f] so that I can get my 6 weeks of maternity leave as well as the summer to bond before the new school year) a good idea? I’m asking this in relation to the stress of teaching. Obviously the first year is the hardest, but I’ve also been told that it really isn’t until after you’re done with your third year that it starts to get a little bit easier. I don’t want my job to cause me tons of stress during my second year and, on top of that, worry about doctor’s appointments, morning sickness, getting proper exercise, sleep issues, etc.
Would the second year of teaching coupled with a normal/average pregnancy be stressful or manageable? Should we aim for the end of my third year of teaching to give birth? I know that everyone’s experiences vary on these topics (and at the end of this upcoming school year I’ll certainly have a better idea of how stressed I’ll be during year two), but I’m trying to put feelers out because I’m excited to start ttc and I want to have some sort of timeline in mind. What are your experiences/what is your advice?
(I’m also 26 right now, so I don’t feel too too rushed with my biological clock, but I’d like to start sooner rather than later.)
I’m not a teacher, but have a few teacher friends. [name_f]One[/name_f] is due this upcoming march, her second year of teaching. Others have had their babies after teaching for a few years.
I think your best bet is to get a little ways into the first year, then decide. It might not be too stressful, and you’ll choose to ttc as soon as you can, or it might be kind of tough and you’ll want to wait a bit until things calm down. A lot might depend on the school system, budget, age group you’re teaching, commute, etc. once you start teaching you’ll get a better idea of how much personal contribution you’ll really be making, how much time for meetings and what the administration is like.
I am a high school teacher. I am starting my 10th year at the end of the month. I can say that the first three years were really hard. I was doing a good 60-70+ hours a week, obviously most of that at home and weekends. Figuring out what’s best for you and your style and philosophy as a teacher takes time. Developing lessons, figuring out a new curriculum, establishing yourself at the schoo, etc, is very time consuming. You don’t mention how far you live from school, how much PD you’re required to do, how many meetings you’re required to attend, etc. I cannot imagine having a baby during my first three years of teaching. I’m not saying it is impossible, but it would have been way too stressful for me.
Congratulations on the new job. Being a teacher is the hardest but most incredibly rewarding thing I have ever done. I cannot imagine myself doing anything else.
Thanks dindlee and leadmythoughts for your responses and they lead me to think the same thing as before–wait and see how it goes and take it from there. Hopefully I’ll be able to find a satisfying balance and know when is the right time for a baby.
[name_m]Hi[/name_m] Mayjune -
I am starting my 5th year of teaching tomorrow. [name_m]Just[/name_m] wanted to add an additional perspective. I have been trying to conceive for a year now without any luck. Last year when we starting trying, we naively thought we’d get pregnant right away and that I would be due in the spring of my 4th year. Month after month it wasn’t happening, but we continued hoping even though the projected due dates would have been very inconvenient from a teacher’s perspective. We’re doing some fertility treatments now, and I will be happy to get pregnant whenever.
I’m not saying all this to scare you or anything, and you will most likely not have any problems conceiving. BUT, even couples without any fertility problems take a few months on average to get pregnant. I would not place all my hopes on trying to have a baby in just the short span of late [name_f]May[/name_f]. It might take a couple months to get pregnant. This past school year, some of the teachers at my school were discussing best times to get pregnant with a teacher that was due with twins in [name_u]November[/name_u]. The pregnant teacher said something like, “Well we all try for those [name_f]April[/name_f]/[name_f]May[/name_f] babies as teachers, but sometimes nature has different plans.” [name_m]Just[/name_m] goes to show, you never know when it will happen.
Additionally, I think you will be fine having a baby in your second year. Yes, it takes a few years to get the hang of everything when you’re a new teacher, but even veteran teachers stress out and have lots of things on their plate. As a teacher, we just learn to juggle the chaos of our job with the demands of our family life/spouse. Year 2 is A LOT easier than the first year, and I think putting off having a baby is too much to ask from our jobs. I’ve been married for about 2 years, so it’s not that I waited this long because of teaching to try for a baby.
Good luck!
Nowakasia-
I appreciate your comments so much! I do realize that we don’t all have the luck of having children when we want, but a girl can hope, no? 
Truthfully, I would rather have my children’s birthdays from [name_u]November[/name_u]-[name_u]March[/name_u] so that they aren’t the youngest in their classes in school, but any child at any time is an enormous blessing.
As a teacher, we just learn to juggle the chaos of our job with the demands of our family life/spouse. Year 2 is A LOT easier than the first year, and I think putting off having a baby is too much to ask from our jobs.
I think you put it so well when you said this.
I wish you all the best in your quest for a baby, as well as good wishes for this school year!
The first year is definitely the hardest. Aiming for the end of your second year is a good idea, but your chances of choosing exactly when your child will be born are pretty low! You can try for [name_f]May[/name_f], but be prepared that things might not work out that way. Only 20% of women conceive their first try.
My first daughter was born a week before my first year teaching at a new middle school (I had previously been in a high school and was forced to switch schools the for the next year) and it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I missed the first 6 weeks of school and I was absolutely miserable. Being a first time mom and teaching the first year there was almost unbearable. I wanted to go home and never go back!
This time around, my husband (he’s a teacher too) and I are trying to get pregnant now to be due at the end of school. I’ve decided to take off all the days I have saved up at the end of the year if I get pregnant, even if I’m not due until mid [name_u]June[/name_u]. If I don’t get pregnant in time, we plan to take a few months off from trying so I’m not due at the beginning of school again. This will be our second month trying and we hope it works out!
Good luck with your first year of teaching and trying for your baby!
I’m starting my 12th year of teaching and I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I think it would have been very difficult for me to have a baby in the first year or two of teaching. After that it would have been fine, but the longer you teach the easier it (probably) will be to deal with balancing both.
We were one of the lucky couples who got pregnant on month one or two of trying with both kids. I had [name_u]Jan[/name_u] and Feb babies and the really nice thing was that I was on summer break when I had the first three months of all-day nausea and extreme tiredness. I really don’t know how I would have functioned at work during the first trimester. When I started back in the fall I felt great. It was difficult to go back to work after maternity leave was up (I went back in [name_f]April[/name_f] and [name_f]May[/name_f]) but it’s not that bad because you only have to get through a few weeks and then it’s summer again 
Good luck with your first year of teaching!
I would suggest waiting until you get the second year under your belt, but I know how hard it can be to make yourself wait when you want a family right now. I taught one full school year and then through [name_u]December[/name_u] 2012 (half way through the 2nd school year) before my husband and I decided to start our TTC journey. We ended up not getting pregnant until this past [name_f]May[/name_f] (the end of my 2nd year) and due to some different circumstances, I have decided to take this coming year off from teaching. I wanted at least some experience before I started having children, but ultimately you have to decide what will be best for you, your husband, and your future little one(s).
I was pregnant during my first year of teaching. I thought I was so clever having a baby in [name_u]June[/name_u] so that I could have a few weeks and then summer, but it turned out later that trying to plan my daughter’s birthday parties right at the end of the school year madness was, well, maddening. I was pregnant again my third year of teaching and I didn’t find it to be any more or less stressful than the pregnancy during my first year. Since I had decided to stay home for a bit after my second, I went ahead and had her in [name_f]October[/name_f] and I’m really glad that she will be almost 6 when she starts K as opposed to my daughter who didn’t turn 6 until almost the end of her K year. Now, I’m pregnant for a third (and LAST) time with twins who will hopefully debut in [name_u]December[/name_u], I worked until the end of the school year when I was 12 weeks pregnant and this was the most stressful work/pregnant situation for me because I was very worried about the high risk pregnancy early on and I was juggling my job and my two older girls. So, I guess the long story short would be to do what works for you! [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t worry too much about the timing, I’ve heard it said a million times that if you wait until the timing is “perfect”, you’ll probably be waiting forever.