Ok so I am normally a firm believer in people naming their kids whatever name they love regardless of what other people think or say. However I am strongly considering breaking my rule and strongly advising my friend from using a name.
background. She has not asked my opinion on the name. She simply said this is what she was going to name her daughter. The name is Dreamer. I can’t even. I really want to tell her this is setting her daughter up for failure but don’t know if it is my place. Should I just not say anything ? Please tell me what you would do in this case taking into account she has not asked for my opinion or advice.
Maybe just suggest she use it as a middle name? My attempts at talking friends out of awful names have been less than successful but I actually think this could be decent in the middle so maybe just find a way to tactfully mention that [name]Eloise[/name] Dreamer/[name]Cate[/name] Dreamer/Whatever Dreamer is such a pretty name. It might not be you’re favorite name but she obviously likes it so maybe just try to find a happy medium where she can use the name she loves without making it something her child will have to deal with on a daily basis.
I might try to ask her questions like: “what made you choose that name?” “how do you think other children will react to that name?” or “what have your other friends said about that name?” Without judging her, or saying that you hate the name, you might be able to raise some questions in her mind that would push her towards reconsidering the name as a first name. Her answers to your questions might help you know whether it is appropriate to mention your opinion or to actively encourage her towards another name, or whether the subject is closed in her mind. However, if she is early in her pregnancy, she might just be trying names out and will change her mind later on as the due date comes closer. Or, her partner might have a say in the matter which will sway her mind. It would be sad if you had an unnecessary fight about this when it was just a temporary idea.
It would depend on my relationship with the person. I’d probably ask something along the lines of “what a bold choice, can I ask what the meaning behind Dreamer is for you and your husband?” Maybe there’s a good reason, though I honestly can’t think of a good enough reason for that. It may be worse than [name]Nevaeh[/name].
She can always go by [name]Dee[/name] if she knows what’s good for her.
I knew a guy named [name]Dream[/name]. It was puke-worthy on him, because he seemed to think he truly was one. Good job, parents.
Dreamer isn’t awful; I’ve certainly heard worse. I do agree it isn’t very practical on a human, though. Perhaps you could start by asking your friend why she likes the name and what kind of person she would imagine a Dreamer to be (the answer seems obvious, but you never know). Ask your friend if she would like having the name Dreamer and what sort of advantages and disadvantages she would imagine someone named Dreamer to experience in the world.
Honestly, it feels like a joke just typing this. Are you sure your friend isn’t pulling your leg?
Honestly, I think you have your answer. She didn’t ask your opinion, so don’t give it.
Dreamer is far from the worst name ever bestowed on a child and while it’s certainly not one I’d choose, I don’t see that it’s setting her up for failure. As an aside, it doesn’t strike me as a stripper name at all. I’d consider it more of a hippy name really, and while I might make some assumptions about the parents of a child named Dreamer, I wouldn’t necessarily see the name as reflecting badly on the child.
I tend to agree with the above poster. If she hasn’t asked your opinion, I would just not comment on it. This may be a name she has loved since childhood, and after she has gone through the pain of childbirth, she deserves to at least be able to call the child what she has…well, dreamed…of. I agree with you that it’s an odd name, though like the above poster, I don’t think of a stripper. I give her credit for creativity, and would prefer to meet a newborn named Dreamer over a newborn with one of the top names like [name]Sophia[/name] or [name]Emma[/name]. Maybe the child will wear it well. I can’t think of [name]HOW[/name], at the moment, but you might be pleasantly surprised!
I agree with the first response. Suggest that it might work better as a middle name. The suggestion of [name]Nava[/name] Dreamer is a great one. I bet she’d love the idea of beautiful dreamer.
You could suggest names that mean dream or relate to dreams. I tried looking it up, but I was a bit lazy. I found [name]Aislinn[/name] which is pronounced [name]ASH[/name]-lyn and means “dream”. It can be spelled [name]Ashlyn[/name], of course. Another thing was using [name]Josephine[/name] (the nicknames like [name]Josie[/name] and [name]Posy[/name] are so cute!) because [name]Joseph[/name] interpreted dreams in the Bible. [name]Just[/name] some suggestions.
However, I would tend toward not mentioning anything at all. I know that with most of my friends I could just tell them that I think a name is rather ridiculous or maybe even that I just don’t like it. But the fact that you are not sure whether to give your opinion or not means you believe your friend ill react badly to your opinion. And… unfortunately that means you probably have to keep it to yourself or wait for an opportunity to mention when she seems more open to discussion rather than statements of her favorite names. Good luck!
While I have never been in this situation, I would probably follow this advice and say something to the effect of “that’s an interesting idea. I would have thought of using a name that means dreamer or dream instead”. Then I would suggest names such as [name]Sonya[/name] (which in Spanish, spelled Sona with a tilde over the n means dream)
oh my, what parents will name their kids these days… Does she have a significant other? Is he on board because my fiance’ just burst out laughing…
Anyway, if it was my friend, I would probably keep quiet. I’d roll my eyes of course and think she was crazy and that her child might demand a name change later, but it’s not my business. Thankfully, I know my friends very well and their name tastes, so they will all have normal names. Mine are considered unique to them.
I don’t think dreamer works even as a middle, though that would be a better place for it for sure. Maybe suggest she can use a name that means dream instead?
I know I’d be tempted, but I probably wouldn’t say anything unless she asks for an opinion. “Dreamer” is pretty bad, but at least it’s not a totally random noun like “Apple” or something ;). It definitely has positive associations, but it’s really literal. If she asks for your opinion, maybe point her towards something a bit less “out there”, with a similar meaning or feeling. “Luna”, and Selene, while not favorites of mine, are kind of “nocturnal” and somewhat related to dreaming I guess? I can’t think of names that actually mean “Dreamer”, but I’m sure they exist. Choosing a name is an important decision, but it’s hard to predict how people will respond to a name or how the child will ultimately feel about it. A family member recently chose “Adelaide” for her little girl. I didn’t like it, but other family and friends thought it was great, which really surprised me and made me glad I’d bitten my tongue. There are likely people out there who respond positively to “Dreamer” too, so it may not be as bad for the kid as you think. If all else fails, the kid can go by her middle name or change her first when she gets older.
Honestly, I wouldn’t say anything. I don’t think Dreamer is setting up a child for failure, like “Perfect” or “Brilliant” might. Yes, it’s odd, but at least people know how to spell and pronounce it, which is more than I can say for half the names I see these days. You’ve had some great suggestions already on how to broach the subject, if you decide to, but if you she responds negatively to your questions, I would drop it.
I’m also in the “anything can go in the middle” camp, so if she seems open to discussion, you can always ask her what her perfect name would be, if there were no limits. You might be surprised that it’s something crazier than Dreamer. Then you can always suggest using a name that means dreamer for the first (and I loved the suggestion of Dreama - unique but totally wearable), and using her “dream name” (haha) in the middle.
I definitely have opinions on babies’ names, but I agree with those that have told you to remain silent unless asked. To each his own. I know I wouldn’t appreciate unsolicited input. Too many people in this world like to live others’ lives for them. And naming one’s own child is truly one right we have that no uniterested party’s input is needed. It’s a free world!
I like Dreama. I would criticize it to hard if you don’t have that kind of relationship. If you do & she still uses it she will always remember that you hate the name.
Yes, it’s odd, but at least people know how to spell and pronounce it, which is more than I can say for half the names I see these days. You’ve had some great suggestions already on how to broach the subject, if you decide to, but if you she responds negatively to your questions, I would drop it.