When your partner doesn’t love your fave name?

One for discussion… what if you love a name and your partner isn’t convinced? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you persist and try win them around? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you try compromise by getting it in there as a MN? Or do you give in and let it go, hoping you’ll find another name you both love?

Thoughts please! :blush:

I give in. I wouldn’t want our kid to have a name he didn’t absolutely love too. (Almost all the names on my lists get turned down)

For our first, we were lucky to have liked the same kinds of names. I did have a few names on my short list though that got vetoed, and I still love them but we won’t use them because, as @kipperbo1 says too, I wouldn’t want to use a name that my partner didn’t also really love.

I haven’t had this issue, thankfully. My husband’s only criteria was that we needed to use his grandfather’s name as a middle for q son. He was more than fine with me naming out daughter [name_f]Audrey[/name_f], especially since I told him that was the name I had picked out when I was 18 (I was 32 when she was born). With our second child I let him pick the name. Now we are trying for #3 and are set on a full boys name, but having trouble with a girl’s middle name.

ETA: If my husband absolutely hates a name then I won’t use it. I don’t want my child thinking that one of their parents doesn’t love them as much because of their name.

Our naming tastes are thankfully somewhat similar. He really likes uber popular names but keeps an open mind with my more ‘out there’ suggestions. Mainly, when we do disagree on names (whether they be his favorite or mine) we try to hear each other out. He didn’t like one of my loved names because it reminded him of one of his mom’s abusive exes. I didn’t like one of his favorite names because it sounds bad with our last name. We acknowledged each other’s points and feelings, then chose to move on from those names. There are soooooooo many names out there that we were bound to find at least a few that we liked in common, more than the favorites we had to abandon.

I want our child to have a name that we both love. Obviously, one parent may have a stronger attachment to the name than the other, but I want it to be fully agreed upon to use the name. Right now, my husband isn’t sold on my longtime favorite, [name_f]Ada[/name_f] [name_f]Rosemary[/name_f]. I find it so beautiful and delightfully old-fashioned yet not clinky. He likes it but I know there are names he likes more. My attitude is that we’ll just keep the name on the list and decide when we actually get pregnant/have the child. We may like another name more than [name_f]Ada[/name_f] or maybe something else will happen to prevent us from using the name. We’ll see :slight_smile: I just try to be realistic and not allow myself to picture a future daughter solely as [name_f]Ada[/name_f].

Styles change over time, so if my fiance hates something, then I usually put it on the backburner and ask again at a later date. If he gives me the same response of truly hating it, then it gets kicked off the list. He changes his mind as much as I do for his favorite name. Luckily our top 5 names, we have finally been able to agree on after a bit of back and forth.

DH and I have very different naming styles. My style is somewhat more eccentric, while his is more classic. When I was pregnant with Hjörtur it almost made me desperate. I tried to convince him to like my favorite names, but after a while I realized that liking a name is mostly not rational, so arguments wouldn’t make things better. So we looked further for common ground, and we found it in not-so-eccentric-and-rather-classic Icelandic names.

With a partner I couldn’t use a name they hated.

For my second born my partner was by then my ex and EXTREMELY disagreeable. I was admittedly fixated on a name but open to suggestions (I think ex gave the suggestion of [name_u]Leaf[/name_u] / [name_m]Leif[/name_m], I don’t remember any others). The concern with my chosen name was worry about the common shortening of it (name is Demitris) to [name_f]Demi[/name_f] given the meaning in [name_m]French[/name_m]. (This we do increasingly, now up to 60% of the time perhaps). It hasn’t really been an issue (child 11) and even [name_m]French[/name_m] speakers I have questioned do not pick up on it as they pronounce the word differently. I hated it that ex didn’t like the name (well, the nickname, there was no issue with the name itself) but baby was last day ‘required’ naming and I wanted a passport so something had to give.

ETA funny Demitris isn’t highlighted while Leaf and Demi and French are- it is a genuine spelling and admittedly I used it rather than the more popular Demetris as I suspected Demi would be used- and it helps people pronounce it first time.

I’ve been pretty indecisive, lol, so our process is that I obsess over names and write a long list. Then DH looks over the list and gives me his opinion. Generally when he doesn’t like a name, I get his reasoning and we strike the name off the list. I know some moms want their husbands to also compile lists, (and mine did make some suggestions), but his narrowing down of the list is actually very helpful to me. Otherwise I would be overwhelmed with options and unable to pick just one.

My husband and I have polar opposite taste. Luckily he is patient and committed to working together with me until we find names that we are both excited about. In that way it doesn’t even feel like compromise. Total win-win.

We’ve talked about names before. Mostly just me saying “Hey what do you think about so and so for a girl/boy?”. And then I either get “the look” or the “eh, it’s ok”. Very rarely has he said he likes it. “[name_f]Cadence[/name_f]” was one he really liked. But he’s also said he could really care less about that kind of thing and whatever I want would be fine. I wouldn’t want to name one that he didn’t care for though. I know he really likes [name_m]Xander[/name_m] and [name_m]Xavier[/name_m] but I don’t care for either. Maybe [name_m]Xavier[/name_m] for a middle. We’ll see.