If you already have kids, where did they sleep for the first 12 mos. of their lives? Thanks if you feel comfortable sharing, no judgment, am just wondering what others have chosen to do.
Both my boys slept in a bassinet by my bed for the 1st 4months…with the occasional early morning sleep in my bed.
Then into a cot in own room.
Both boys preferred sleeping in mum n dads bed though after moving into cot.
Moved 1st born 2 a bed around 20months slept much better.
Number 2 pretty much would only sleep with us. Went into a double bed around 12months! But still preferred sleeping with mum. Now 18months pretty much sleeps in his bed.
We do play musical beds most nights in our house though…
I do love my babies in bed with me though. We all have better night sleeps, but does likely created the bed sleeping problems when their toddlers
Hey they’re only little once right!!
With our first, she slept in a bassinet by our bed until she was 6 months old, then she went to a crib in her own room. We moved her into a regular bed somewhere between 18 months and 2 years old. With our second, he moved from the bassinet into a crib in his own room when he was four months old. He was a much better sleeper so we made the move earlier (would sleep 6 hours straight from the start, only needed one nighttime feeding at 3am). He was in a bed at 18 months since he kept trying to climb out of his crib.
Ok. So I know sleep is super divisive. I’m sharing this now with the best of intentions. No judgement.
With my biological child, we did planned early bedsharing to 3 months, from his first sleep (I had a homebirth), in our bed. I knew then I wanted him in his own room by 4 months. I knew that moms of newborns get the most sleep when they bed share (following safe bedsharing guidelines) in the early days. I also personally know so many moms worn down by later bedsharing and I knew I wanted him to be able to sleep on his own. This was in 2017. The 12 month cosleeping (in the same room not on the same surface) guidelines were much more recent. I did know about them at the time but I really valued my own sleeping space so used my own intuition. He also had no known risk factors for SIDS.
At 3.5 months, we slowly began to gently transition him to his own room. First I started putting him in a crib for one nap a day. Then we worked up to two naps a day. Then three. Then he would go down in his room for the first part of night and then come in with us upon first waking. Then the second waking. And then when we had about half the night in his room, I moved a mattress into his room temporarily and I slept in his room the whole night. He would sleep in his crib and if I was really not having luck putting him back to sleep there, he would come into the bed with me on the floor. Then with fewer and fewer of those times he slept the whole night in his crib and I slowly started leaving him in there on his own for longer and longer stretches and then I finally wasn’t sleeping in there and we removed the mattress at 4.5 months. And he slowly began sleeping longer stretches and at 5 months was sleeping 12 hours straight. No cry it out or anything.
We adopted my second and are doing things a bit differently, but with the same spirit. He was born early by about 3 weeks so we put him swaddled on his back in the crib in our room for the first month and a half just to be on the safe side (safe sleep seven suggests no bedsharing with premies). Then we worked on bedsharing during naps. And then on bedsharing at night once we felt comfortable and knew he had significant head control. Now we are moving in the opposite direction since early bedsharing was our goal (for the attachment). He will, however, be cosleeping in a crib next to our bed. We are pretty sure we will do that until 12 months and then move the crib in with his big brother. He is currently 3 months old. We basically just started gently making the switch to the crib and he is now sleeping 5-7 hours straight for that first stretch of the night in his crib, then the rest of the night in bed.
I don’t have kids, but I have a younger sibling. She slept in a crib in my parents room until she was around 5 months (by crib I mean something in between a [name_m]Moses[/name_m] basket and a cot). At 5 months she moved to a cot but stayed in my parents room. She moved to her own room around 7/8 months.
My husband and I shared a bed with our kids for the first year. Guess it’s no longer recommended, but it was advisable at the time.
I co-slept with my son. It was the only way anyone got any sleep. At about 18 mo he moved to a bed in his room.
I actually really enjoyed sleeping with my babies. I’m a light sleeper and made sure they were safe. It helped with nursing, too. But I don’t want to advise it just in case someone else has a problem.
Question: did anyone make the transition from your room directly into a room shared with a sibling? When did you make the transition? Were either troublesome sleepers? Any pro tips?
This inevitability is still in the distant future, but the thought is already stressful and I want to be prepared. Big brother will be between 2.5-3 years old when it’s time for his roommate to move in.
We never planned it this way pre-kids but we are a big co-sleeping aka bed-sharing family. [name_f]My[/name_f] first in some form until about 3/3.5 (mainly for night sleep, his nap he’s done since about 18 months in his room). [name_f]My[/name_f] second until recently so aboutt just under 2.5 (this was not planned but a tip from the in-laws had us give her sleeping in her own room/ big girl bed a chance). [name_f]My[/name_f] current I put in his Co-Sleeper in his crib when I’m not able to carry him or lie down with him. With two eager siblings waiting to get their hands on him things like swings and bouncy seats etc are out of the question during the day so it’s me, the crib or nothing. But mostly aim for him to be in our bed when possible.
We are bedsharing, from birth and she’s now almost six months. Planned to cosleep but bedsharing felt better.
For her first 3 months she slept in a travel bassinet on our bed, she is a wild baby who could roll over really early and my husband is a really heavy sleeper so typical bed sharing was out of the question for us (in fact we would’ve had her in one of those bedside bassinets if we had one, for the next baby that’s probably what we’ll do) then until 6 months she slept in a pack n play in our room. Then at 6 months we moved her into her a crib in her own room and now she’s a really good sleeper, will sleep just about anywhere I put her.
Mine slept in bassinet til 4 months. Lots of rocking and warming it first with hot water bottle but she did it!
Then at 4 months she just refused. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t know whether it was teething or 4 month sleep regression but she woke every half hour screaming horribly, and just for plain survival - the exhaustion would have killed me - I needed her in bed with me. Once she started sleeping better again she still simply wouldn’t go back in the bassinet, would tense up and scream if I tried to transfer her, relax and go straight to sleep when put back in our bed. We side-carred a cot to the bed which gives us a bit more space though she’s usually not really in it.
I love bedsharing, but it was very scary at first. I think it’s the more natural and normal thing to do - it makes sense for our vulnerable tiny babies to want to be near us, and it makes breastfeeding much easier, and comforting her when she’s sick or teething - BUT it’s important to be aware and vigilant with safety. “Safe sleep 7” is good for this.
Some important points are:
- no strangulation hazards (e.g. curtain cords not in reach of cot, mom’s long hair tied back)
- no suffocation hazards (FIRM mattress, no gaps baby could get wedged in, no cot bumpers, bedding away from face, mom not overdressed in way that clothing could get over baby’s face - I’ve seen moms who buy cheap second hand jerseys and then cut boob-holes in them!)
- baby beside breastfeeding mother only for first 4 months, not by father or between parents and def not beside another child
- on back to sleep (being raised on mom’s arm could put delicate newborn airways at wrong angle)
I hate some of the assumptions out there that people who bed-share have made a rash decision against medical advice, rather than a careful informed decision. I spent HOURS looking at SIDS statistics and the factors involved, and safe sleeping both when bedsharing or when in their own cot.
It looks like most of us in this thread ended up co-sleeping in some form. I wonder if that’s the norm more broadly.
For us, we have seven daughters and a newborn son (born this month). We’ve always had a cot (aka crib) in our room, and almost always start the child off in the night in the cot. But babe moves into bed with us at first wake, and spends the rest of the night with us. This is much much easier for breastfeeding and all of us getting sleep than the “sit up to feed and place back in cot” method.
If you do the research, co-sleeping is actually not a major SIDS risk, unless you are any of the following: very overweight, a very heavy sleeper, liable to go to bed drunk.
We’ve done the sibling room transition six times now. With each of our seven girls, at 18 months they’ve moved out of our room into a big girl bed in the big girl room. (For our first, that meant her own room for about two years).
At that age, they’re old enough to understand, and we make something special of it. Two of our seven girls struggled for about a week with missing the old habits, but we made it clear that the new bed was their bed, and they adapted.
We’ve never done it any other way, but imo it would be harder any earlier, before you can communicate clearly with the kid.
Edit: You asked also about the older siblings. That’s absolutely never been an issue for us. They’re always excited to make their new roommate welcome.
I reckon it’s all in the framing. Frame it as something special and it will be received that way.
We chose to bed share. I did attach an IKEA crib to one side of our queen bed. I took one side of the crib off and strapped it to our bed frame. We put a bumper rail on the other side of the bed. For the first 4 or 5 months my son slept right next to me. Bed sharing is safe when you practice it the right ways. Ideally bedsharing is this:
-Parents are not smokers,heavy sleepers, on sleeping medications
-Mattress is firm,not memory foam. Sheets are tight fitting, no fluffy pillows, extra blankets around baby
-No loose clothing with strings, long hair is tied up.
Dr.Sears is a great resource for bedsharing/co sleeping tips. Honestly, I loved bedsharing and got so much sleep because of it. [name_f]My[/name_f] son was breastfed on demand. He would start to stir in the night and I’d feed him right there in the bed, laying down. No need to get up settle a crying baby, get them back to sleep in the crib. [name_f]Remember[/name_f], sleeping with a baby in a chair or on a couch is very unsafe because of gaps they could slide into face down. After about 4 or 5 months, my son would sleep in the crib next to our bed.
Wow, six times and seven girls! That’s beautiful and amazing.
I do have a goal to make the transition earlier, sometime between 6 and 12 months, once a solid sleep schedule is settled in. I suppose only time will tell. Our first has always been a fabulous sleeper, so there’s some worry that will go out the window with the new roomie, but I appreciate the tip in making it a special occasion for Big Brother.
We never bed shared - I can’t have anyone else in my bed!
Our babies are always in pack-n-plays in our room for the first few months.
Then we put them to bed in the pack-n-play in our room, and transfer them to the actual sleeping space (with other siblings) within the first year.
The earlier the kids learn to room-share, the easier it is. The younger they are when it happens, the more seamless it becomes.
We only had her in our room for her first night and I knew immediately it was not going to work for me. We slept in shifts - one of us would be in bed fully sleeping, the other would be out on the couch resting or tending to her when she cried. We used the bassinet for a month or so, then moved to her to her crib - our apartment was small enough that we could hear her very easily in her crib.
Thank you to everyone for your replies! Follow up question, has anyone used a [name_u]Halo[/name_u] BassiNest? If so, how did you like it?