Why can't I commit to a name?

[name]Just[/name] when I think I have narrowed down to one or two names for a girl, I see or hear a name that I crossed off and then I start to rethink. I go back to my lists and start to love the names again. My struggle is that I love names to have meaning. Our first was named after many family members and I love her name. I feel like I have to conquer that challenge again for number two. My DH doesn’t think about names as much, so I just end up stewing alone (or with other berries). He just says whether he likes a name or not (which is helpful).

So here was the short list I revisited…

[name]Violet[/name] [name]Abigail[/name] O****ski (VAO) -threw out [name]Violet[/name] because didn’t love the nn [name]Vi[/name], but our first doesn’t go by a nn so would probably be just [name]Violet[/name], Also, my mom turned her nose up at [name]Violet[/name] because it sounded old lady. [name]Abigail[/name] is after one of my grandmothers not previously honored by our first

[name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] O****ski (VBO) - [name]Beatrix[/name] to me honors both great grandmothers not honored by our first

[name]Lucy[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] O****ski (LBO) - [name]Love[/name] the name [name]Lucy[/name], but I don’t know if I can really name a kid just [name]Lucy[/name]

Lucelia [name]Iris[/name] O****ski ([name]LIO[/name]) - the ONLY [name]Lucy[/name] variant I like. Spanish name combining [name]Lucy[/name] and [name]Celia[/name], so means heavenly light. Crossed it off for potential spelling and pronunciation complications.

[name]Louisa[/name] [name]Jonquil[/name] O****ski (LJO) - [name]Lou[/name] honors both my mother and [name]MIL[/name], [name]Jonquil[/name] honors both missed great grandmothers and DH (his mn is [name]Jon[/name]), but I don’t know if I could actually pull off having a kid with [name]Jonquil[/name] as a mn

[name]Louisa[/name] [name]Blythe[/name] O****ski (LBO) -love the sound and [name]Blythe[/name] honors both great grandmothers

[name]Cora[/name] [name]Felicity[/name] O****ski (CFO) - crossed off [name]Cora[/name] because I don’t know if I love it just with our last name, but oh I love the combo [name]Cora[/name] [name]Felicity[/name]. It would also honor both great grandmothers

[name]Eleanor[/name] [name]Iris[/name] O****ski (EIO) - crossed off because my mom said she would want to nn the kid [name]Ellen[/name]. [name]Ah[/name] NO!!! I just don’t like [name]Ellen[/name] at ALL! Also unsure because have a very good childhood friend named [name]Nora[/name]. Is that too weird? I [name]LOVE[/name] the name [name]Eleanor[/name] but it doesn’t honor any family. [name]Iris[/name] is a name I like and I have loved rainbows since I was a small child.

[name]Eliza[/name] [name]Josephine[/name] O****ski (EJO) -crossed off [name]Eliza[/name], because it doesn’t honor the great grandmothers and it vaguely reminds me of a girl in high school. I love [name]Josephine[/name] because of [name]Little[/name] Women and because we weren’t planning on having a #2. [name]Josephine[/name] means God will increase. Also, DHs initials are EJO.

[name]Eliza[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] O****ski ([name]EBO[/name]) - [name]Beatrix[/name] hits the great grandmothers, but I waffle on [name]Eliza[/name]

[name]Iris[/name] [name]Maeve[/name] O****ski ([name]IMO[/name]) - [name]Maeve[/name] honors both great grandmothers and I love [name]Iris[/name] (see above). Not sure if I love [name]Maeve[/name] though, and can I really pull off an [name]Iris[/name]? The only one we know was a cranky old lady at work.

[name]Iris[/name] [name]Annora[/name] O****ski (IAO) - [name]Annora[/name] means honor so that can honor anyone and everyone right? :wink: I’m not sure if it is strange to have an [name]Annabelle[/name] for one first name and an [name]Annora[/name] for a middle name. My middle name is [name]Anne[/name] so it would be honoring me, but that starts to feel a little [name]George[/name] Foreman-ish. Too bad, I don’t like [name]Honora[/name] or [name]Honoria[/name] as well.

[name]Josephine[/name] [name]Iris[/name] O****ski (JIO) - see above for reasons I like this name, crossed off because [name]Josephine[/name] seems like a lot of name with our last name. [name]Love[/name] the nn [name]Posey[/name] though.

[name]Miriam[/name] [name]Iris[/name] O****ski ([name]MIO[/name]) - DH loves the name [name]Miriam[/name]. It is the only one he has suggested. I like it okay, and don’t mind the nn [name]Mim[/name]. I don’t love it though and it honors no one.

Thank you for allowing a racing pregnant mind to rant and ramble. This is so long I don’t know if anyone will actually read it all, but I hope I can go back to sleep now that it is out “there” and not just running around in my head.

Thanks berries for any thoughts.

You sound exactly like me when I was naming my first… I found it so hard to committ (you’re not a gemini by any chance?! Hehe) and my DH was equally as helpful as yours… a straight yes/no without any discussion while i would agonise about names on nameberry…about nick names and middle names and pronunciation issues… stressing over the tiniest details :slight_smile: Ultimately though we kept coming back to the same two possible names, both were meaningful to us, we had to meet the baby to choose 1. I had lots of name crushes during ny pregnancy but those two names were the only names were constant… Lasting the distance of the pregnancy! It sounds like [name]Beatrix[/name] and [name]Abigail[/name] are meaningful to you and my favourites on your list are [name]Violet[/name] [name]Abigail[/name] and [name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name]… If you want a nn you could use [name]Etta[/name] but violet doesn’t need one! I think if you choose any name that is meaningful to you you can’t go wrong… Maybe you need to meet the baby first to decide! Also maybe try thinking less and listen to what your instinct is… That helped me a lot!!

Haha - I think you might possible be overthinking a little bit.

I think all your names are great! And when it comes to nicknames, in my experience they come naturally and not always the ones you’d expect, e.g. our youngest is called [name]Noah[/name], but for some reason everyone calls him [name]Bear[/name]! I can’t even remember why. Our eldest is nicknamed [name]Dodo[/name], not a dig at his intelligence, it was just simply his first word and it stuck (his uncle said something simillar to “No don’t do that you [name]Dodo[/name]!” to his dad and our son immediately repeated it and [name]Bob[/name]'s your uncle!)

I wouldn’t dump a name because I didn’t “love” the potential nickname. I’d try to create my own nickname then and run with it. It doesn’t have to be related to the name - I do see a tendency for that from Berries. It could just come to you as your baby is born or as it grows. Again, our eldest was called T-virus and T-rex for a period of time as he constantly bit people (while teething).

I think you’ve got to sit down and think how much it means to you that the name honours someone. It isn’t a necessity that a name honours a family member or carry any kind of family history whatsoever. What matters is that you feel the name is right and fits your child.

I would probably try to half your list -And I would put [name]Miriam[/name] at the top of the list as that’s the one your husband has suggested and therefore it must be one he really likes! [name]Don[/name]'t forget that you aren’t the only one who needs to love the name.

Maybe you should try to de-construct your list?

Write all the names down and cross off ALL the ones you don’t feel the connection with. Only leave those you really like and can see yourself using. Forget honouring people, forget nicknames. [name]Just[/name] look at the NAME. When you’ve got only the ones you like you can try to make new combinations - you might hit something you hadn’t seen or thought of before.

Like wise put the same list of names in front of your husband and ask him to cross off the ones he doesn’t like. Ask him to be brutal, but don’t get upset or angry if he crosses off your favourites. It’s merely a preliminary to get his opinion. See what’s left on both your lists and take it from there.

You don’t need the name ready before the birth either. Sometimes its a good idea to wait. We changed our minds about our eldest name and he didn’t get one before he was 3 days old (and that was one big compromise - our eldest has the only name my partner has ever suggested and that’s why I went with it - I learnt to love it very quickly as it just fitted our son like a glove!).

I think all your names are pretty great!

Not a fan of every middle name, but if they are chosen to honor family members, then I wouldn’t change them.

My favorites are [name]Lucy[/name] and [name]Louisa[/name]. [name]Both[/name] could go by [name]Lou[/name] or [name]Lulu[/name], nns I absolutely adore.
[name]Eleanor[/name] nn [name]Nell[/name] or [name]Nellie[/name] could be great too.

So, anyways, I think you have a pretty great list and you could probably just decide once the baby is born, see which name suits her best!

I was like this with our first too. Boy’s name set in stone, girl’s name we had a short list going in to delivery. Fortunately it was a shorter list than the one above. It took us two days to pick a name (half of that was just to get a moment alone to talk). We picked [name]Annabelle[/name] with the intention of calling her [name]Anna[/name], but that hasn’t happened. I love her name and can’t imagine her with any other. I guess I just want a name that fits just as much and that is meaningful. I know it will come in time, but unfortunately that time is still a few months away which allows for too much over thinking. :slight_smile: The worst part is it could be a boy and all this would be wasted. That is part of the reason my DH doesn’t spend as much time on names. I just feel I have to be somewhat prepared. I guess you could say I’m prepared and now I should wait, but would I be a proper berry to let it go already. :wink:

Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions. It did help to just get it out. I finally went back to sleep. Now to start my day and go to work.

P.S. I’m a cancer.

[name]Katie[/name] - all your choices are great. I don’t usually say this with a list as long as yours but it’s true.
They are all really lovely and I’ve been siting here trying to help to think of ways to widdle it down and now I’m as confused as you are. I think my favorites are [name]Miriam[/name] [name]Iris[/name] (even though it doesn’t honor anyone), [name]Annora[/name] [name]Iris[/name], and [name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name].

My favorite from your list is [name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name]. It seems like [name]Beatrix[/name] is your best mn option since it will honor both great grandmothers and that way it still leaves room for a first name that might not directly honor anyone. I also like the subtle flower tie that you would have between [name]Rose[/name] and [name]Violet[/name]. [name]Annabelle[/name] is such a lovely, romantic sounding name so I think it works best next to something equally feminine to match that about it which is why [name]Violet[/name] works out so well.

If I were you and had to start cutting some I would eliminate [name]Lucy[/name]/Lucelia in favor of [name]Louisa[/name] since that has more meaning to your family. Lousia would be my second choice for you, and along with [name]Annabelle[/name] it sounds so beautifully fresh and “Southern [name]Belle[/name]-ish” to me. It sounds like you are not crazy about [name]Jonquil[/name] with it though, so if you don’t use [name]Louisa[/name] [name]Blythe[/name] what about [name]Louisa[/name] [name]Miriam[/name]? (or [name]Miriam[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] maybe?) Good luck to you! =]

You have a fantastic list of names! I would have trouble settling too! Here are some comments (top 3 are in bold):

[name]Violet[/name] [name]Abigail[/name] O****ski (VAO) - while a lot of names get nicknames ([name]Elizabeth[/name] and [name]Eliza[/name], [name]Lizzie[/name], [name]Betsy[/name], [name]Libby[/name], etc.), [name]Violet[/name] isn’t a name that I think people will automatically use a nickname for, if that helps you any. [name]Violet[/name] [name]Abigail[/name] is great!

[name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] O****ski (VBO) - love [name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name]!

[name]Lucy[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] O****ski (LBO) - [name]Lucy[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] is lovely, but I can understand why you might not want to use just [name]Lucy[/name]. If it’s any help, I always think of the wonderful [name]Lucy[/name] Pevensie from the [name]Narnia[/name] series who doesn’t seem to have a full name.

Lucelia [name]Iris[/name] O****ski ([name]LIO[/name]) - not really my style.

[name]Louisa[/name] [name]Jonquil[/name] O****ski (LJO) - I like it! As for the middle name, I wouldn’t worry about that too much as I don’t think you’ll use it as much as you’d expect and it seems to honor everyone you’re interested in honoring!

[name]Louisa[/name] [name]Blythe[/name] O****ski (LBO) - love this! It reminds me of [name]Anne[/name] of [name]Green[/name] Gables.

[name]Cora[/name] [name]Felicity[/name] O****ski (CFO) - [name]Cora[/name] [name]Felicity[/name] is fabulous! But I do see that flow with your last name might not work.

[name]Eleanor[/name] [name]Iris[/name] O****ski (EIO) - … Sorry I just swooned. These are two of my most loved names on the planet/ever! I agree that [name]Ellen[/name] is not a great nickname, but you could always be very firm about calling her [name]Eleanor[/name] or use another nickname. Other nicknames besides [name]Ellen[/name] and [name]Nora[/name] are: [name]Nell[/name], [name]Nella[/name], [name]Nori[/name], [name]Wren[/name] (but that may just be me as I sometimes intentionally pronounce ls as rs and [name]Wren[/name] would be adorable!), [name]Elle[/name], [name]Ella[/name], etc.

[name]Eliza[/name] [name]Josephine[/name] O****ski (EJO) - I like it, but I don’t love it as much as some of your others.

[name]Eliza[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] O****ski ([name]EBO[/name]) - so spunky!

[name]Iris[/name] [name]Maeve[/name] O****ski ([name]IMO[/name]) - another great combo, but I think flow could be better.

[name]Iris[/name] [name]Annora[/name] O****ski (IAO) - lovely!

[name]Josephine[/name] [name]Iris[/name] O****ski (JIO) - another great name, but I agree flow might be questionable with your last name.

[name]Miriam[/name] [name]Iris[/name] O****ski ([name]MIO[/name]) - love this one! I would never take suggestions from a husband who rarely suggests anything lightly (that was wordy, but hopefully it got the point across?) Another adorable nickname for [name]Miriam[/name] would be [name]Miri[/name].

[name]Beatrix[/name] [name]Annora[/name]
[name]Beatrix[/name] [name]Iris[/name]
[name]Iris[/name] [name]Eleanor[/name]
[name]Eleanor[/name] [name]Maeve[/name]

Thanks for support of our name list. It is reassuring to hear because it reminds me there won’t be a wrong choice when we make it. Thanks for the peace of mind and support.

I do love [name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name]. Someone talking about their first named [name]Violet[/name] is what brought me back to looking at the old list.

[name]Miriam[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] is cute. I hadn’t made that combo before. It helps me like [name]Miriam[/name] more. Thanks!

[name]Garnet[/name]- Part of why I love the name [name]Lucy[/name] is Chronicles of [name]Narnia[/name]. [name]Blythe[/name] is a nod to [name]Anne[/name] of [name]Green[/name] Gables too. With our first, I toyed with [name]Anne[/name] [name]Shirley[/name] as [name]Shirley[/name] is DHs grandma. Thank you for all your comments on the names. It is very helpful. I like your suggestions of [name]Iris[/name] [name]Eleanor[/name] and [name]Eleanor[/name] [name]Maeve[/name]. Thanks!

I really love [name]Louisa[/name] or [name]Violet[/name] as a first name. I know a [name]Louise[/name] called [name]Lucy[/name] which could solve the nn issue. [name]Miriam[/name] is a long time favorite name of mine as well, so I guess my list is:

[name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] (lovely, great sibset, no nn needed)
[name]Louisa[/name] [name]Blythe[/name] (beautiful sound, nn [name]Lucy[/name]?)
[name]Miriam[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] or [name]Miriam[/name] [name]Blythe[/name] (both lovely and I like [name]Blythe[/name] the more I say it)

I love [name]Violet[/name] and I think it goes good with [name]Annabelle[/name]. I’m sure your mom will be happy with whatever name you choose. Also, [name]Vi[/name] isn’t necessarily a done deal as a nickname, you can always call her [name]Violet[/name] or [name]Lettie[/name] or something. I prefer [name]Violet[/name] [name]Abigail[/name], it softens up [name]Violet[/name] and honors family.

I love [name]Violet[/name] and it is lovely paired up with [name]Abigail[/name] or [name]Beatrix[/name]. [name]Beatrix[/name] is my personal favorite of the two middles. You can definitely just call your daughter [name]Violet[/name], but their is a big chance her friends or she, herself, might use the nickname [name]Vi[/name] eventually. If you really hate the nickname, then I would avoid using [name]Violet[/name]. If you just dislike it, then I would still consider using it.

It really comes down to personal preference when it comes to using names like [name]Lucy[/name] as a first name or as a nickname. Personally, I am a fan of using a longer more formal name with a nickname. That way you get the best of both worlds. Besides there are so many lovely names that can [name]Lucy[/name] can be a nickname for. [name]Louisa[/name] [name]Blythe[/name] is my favorite on your list, although it sounds like you really love Lucelia. Go with Lucelia if you love it. People will misspell and miss-pronounce even the simplest names.

[name]Cora[/name] [name]Felicity[/name] is a lovely combo. [name]Felicity[/name] has really grown on me over the past few months. I like it used as a first name. It seems like shame to use it as a middle.

Not a huge fan of [name]Eleanor[/name] [name]Iris[/name]. [name]Eleanor[/name] hasn’t really grown on me as much as some other Nameberry favorites. I wonder how people would respond to it in real life.

[name]Eliza[/name] [name]Josephine[/name] is nice but doesn’t seem as meaningful as some of the others on your list. If you’re hesitant about [name]Eliza[/name], I would cross it off again.

I like [name]Iris[/name] [name]Annora[/name] and [name]Iris[/name] [name]Maeve[/name] but I find they pail in comparison to [name]Annabelle[/name] [name]Rose[/name].

I think [name]Josephine[/name] matches with [name]Annabelle[/name] perfectly! It is a lot of name, but it has the right amount of meaning and sweetness to go with [name]Annabelle[/name]. I normally don’t care for [name]Josephine[/name] overly much, but in your case, I think it is perfect.

I like [name]Miriam[/name] and I think it is a lovely name, but the other names on your list has more meaning, so I would scratch it.

My favorite for your family is [name]Louisa[/name] [name]Blythe[/name]! I love the way it sounds with [name]Annabelle[/name] as a sister, and the nickname [name]Lulu[/name] is beyond adorable. Runner up is [name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name], but I think it would always be in the back of your mind that your mother does not like the name.

[name]Miriam[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] is amazing! I love that! (might pop that on my own list actually)

Possible nn for [name]Miriam[/name] since you don’t like [name]Mim[/name] could be:

Some of them are a bit of a stretch, but could all work!

[name]Love[/name] [name]Violet[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name]! We are planning on using [name]Beatrice[/name] [name]Violet[/name] for our new babe : )