[name]Hi[/name] Nameberries, I am getting more and more perplexed with the trend of parents choosing traditionally male names for girls. Personally, I think it’s really become one of my main pet peeves. It’s come to the point of me actually groaning out loud every time I see yet another posting regarding a “unisex” name. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about parents naming their children a family name (eg. mother’s maiden name) and I certainly don’t think that all gender-neutral names are terrible. I’m talking about parents naming a girl something like [name]Atticus[/name], Hawkins or [name]Turner[/name] (yes, it’s true! 
). Most of the time when I ask people why they named their daughter a boy’s name, they’ll have some lame reply like “I’ve never liked girls names”. What? I never seem to get anyone to answer my question: WHY? Can any of you wise Nameberries give me some insight on why you think this trend is increasing at an alarming rate? Is it a social or political statement? Is it a competition to see who can be the coolest or most creative? Is it for the shock value? Ok, my rant is over! 
Please feel free to give me your thoughts on the subject. Thanks for reading my post!
Maybe because they’re looking for something strong, rather than the frilly names traditionally reserved for girls? I have a friend who named her daughter Drayton, and it suits her - she’s a pretty, strong-minded little thing. And other male names, like [name]Marlowe[/name], actually seem better suited to a girl - [name]Marla[/name] not the best nn for a boy!
But I probably wouldn’t do it myself. I think there are enough “girls’ names” out there for us to choose from.
I honestly don’t understand it either, but the best I can come up with is that people love to follow trends, and starting with [name]Madison[/name] and [name]Mackenzie[/name], masculine names/surnames on girls have become an enormous name trend. Which means that in a couple years, all these names will sound dated.
To the previous poster: That is one of the main reasons I hate boy’s names on girls. With that argument, it’s like parents are telling their daughters that they need to have a masculine name to have a strong image or presence. Who says girls can’t be strong, or even strong-minded on their own? Why should they need a boy’s name to feel or seem ‘strong’? It just plays into the age-old standby that boys are altogether more strong and successful than girls.
Another thing. To me, naming a girl [name]Elliot[/name] or [name]Parker[/name] is like naming a boy [name]Helena[/name] or [name]Genevieve[/name]. I can honestly say that I have never seen (in real life or on this board) suggestions for a boy for a traditionally feminine name, while boy’s names come up all the time on the girl’s name section. I mean, I’m definitely not advocating naming your son [name]Sophia[/name]-- but to me, it seems just as wrong as a girl named [name]Elliot[/name].
Sorry for the soapbox, but I just feel really strongly about this kind of thing! I know my opinions aren’t shared by a majority of this board, but I just wanted to let it out.
I don’t mind masculine names as middle names for girls especially if it’s a family name ([name]Susan[/name] [name]Thomas[/name] or [name]Margaret[/name] [name]Charles[/name]) and if the name flows well. But like you I hate it when I keep running into little girls named [name]Ryan[/name], [name]Logan[/name], [name]Bryce[/name], etc. And yes, I do know little girls with those three names.
I wonder if the parents ever consider what a burden they are placing on their child or if they really care. I can’t help but think that “they” (parents) give their daughter a masculine name for one of the following reasons:
- a girl named [name]Logan[/name] is really cool and hip
- will ensure that their DD is unique
- their DD will be a strong, confident woman because she has a strong name
I think it’s all hogwash. If my parents had named me [name]Nathan[/name] or [name]Eric[/name] or any masculine name I would not have been happy.
It is a rather perplexing trend and I see it happening more all the time. Pretty soon we may see little girls named [name]Herman[/name], [name]Stanley[/name] and [name]Oscar[/name].
I have a theory…
Everyone wants to find a name they love, and a lot of parents (at least those who are conscious of name issues) are somewhat worried about the popularity issue. They don’t want their kid to be [name]Emma[/name] S. or [name]Jackson[/name] W. Maybe because they dealt with that and they hated it.
I’ve actually seen this trend with my teachers and other faculty at my school. Then again, they deal with kids everyday, and might have bad associations or might want to name their child something different than everyone else. Either way, this is what I’m basing my theory off of.
Names of (a few of) my teachers’ daughters:
[name]Peyton[/name] and [name]Sawyer[/name] (teacher’s first name is [name]Laura[/name])
[name]Gavyn[/name] (yep… Teacher’s first name is [name]Megan[/name])
[name]Maisie[/name] [name]Jackson[/name] (yes I realize the masculine name is her middle…but I asked and it has zero family significance. Teacher’s first name is [name]Keri[/name])
So my theory is the popularity factor, and they feel that having a boy’s name on a girl is different, and unique and will set their child apart (which it most likely won’t nowadays).
There is also a teacher at my school with kids named, wait for it… [name]China[/name]-[name]Cat[/name] Sunrise and [name]Moon[/name] Beam Sunflower. No joke. Woww.
Anyway, boy’s names on girls might also be seen as strong. But who knows. I think it just sounds like a confused parent trying a little bit too hard…
This has also become one of my biggest peeves. It bothers me to no end.
I actually find it quite worrying that so many people who choose these names pick them because they seem (to them) “stronger”. What does that say about our lingering issues with feminine strength that we think a girl named [name]Hunter[/name] is tougher than a girl named [name]Persephone[/name]? That’s why I don’t quite buy the “equality” argument (that all is fair in love and naming) because a lot of times the parents with darling little girls called [name]Evan[/name] are quite insulting when you suggest even the possibility of a boy named [name]Ashley[/name]. I think it says rather a lot that we’re considering even the most macho names for girls but to even write “this is my son [name]Persephone[/name]” seems weird and maybe even a little sick. It suggests we think femininity is weird and sick, something to be avoided. :?
So there is that. Part of it is trends, too, of course. Names like [name]Ashley[/name] and [name]Lindsey[/name] caught on so much that a lot of people don’t even think of them as boys names anymore (a lot of people have no idea they were ever boys names), and that’s probably true of half the people using them. Meanwhile the gender of a name sometimes gets lost in translation (the boys name [name]Bryn[/name] springs quickly to mind). Actually we seem to have this strange idea that names with ys in them, especially names that end in y, are feminine, so many masculine names are lost that way when they’re imported.
This actually reminds me of [name]Buffy[/name] the Vampire Slayer – so named because [name]Buffy[/name] was the fluffiest, girliest, least-tough name the writer could think of. And she saved the world a lot, so there.
On the theory that parents are trying for “unique nd cool” when naming their daughters boy names: my daughter has in her second grade two each of the following names:
[name]Hannah[/name], [name]Julia[/name], [name]Zoe[/name], [name]Phoebe[/name] and [name]RYAN[/name] (for girls). So in trying to be unique, the parents (me included) got bit in the good ole karma butt.
I used [name]Hadley[/name] for my other daughter. What about just liking a name? I don’t consider it “strong”, I thought it was slightly unique (I did not want her to use her last initial) and I just really really liked it when I read it in a book. I am not a “fluffy” girl and the overly girly names are not comfortable for me. Maybe these other parents thought the same thing?
AAHH!! That is exactly what I was thinking!!! That is why this trend bugs me SO much!!! I want to teach my daughters that you can be strong, confident, capable AND be feminine. [name]Just[/name] because your name is “[name]Sofia[/name]” or “[name]Isabella[/name]” or “[name]Persephone[/name]” does not mean that you expect or need to be taken care of. Argh! :x There is NOTHING WRONG with being a girl. That being said, I am really trying lately to not judge people who do name their daughters this way. My DH recently pointed out to me how hurtful it is when others judge our choices (in our area “trendy” name like [name]Jayden[/name] are HUGE) but everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I definitely have one on this topic! :lol:
Whew! I kinda feel better after that rant! 
I don’t like it either, and I guess all of you understand the horror when my brother announced that their newbron baby girl would be named [name]Kasey[/name] [name]Mayday[/name]. :shock: Not to mention my cousins kids. She has two daughters; [name]Mason[/name] and [name]Landon[/name]. And three boys; [name]Mackenzie[/name] (like that one though), [name]Kailee[/name] and [name]Autumn[/name]. Why not use the name on the right gender? I don’t get it.
I guess people don’t want their daughter to sound week. Not sure why people would think [name]Abigail[/name], [name]Mary[/name], [name]Victoria[/name], [name]Rachel[/name], [name]Opal[/name], [name]Rowena[/name] etc would sound week… :?
That being said, I am really trying lately to not judge people who do name their daughters this way.
I think the thing to do is examine the likely cultural implications behind such choices (in this case, associating femininity with frailness) while trying not to judge the parents individually. They are cultural trends, after all. However, I agree it is a struggle sometimes! If I had a friend that was considering a boys name for their daughter, I would probably encourage them to think about why they like that sort of thing, but that’s all you can do, really.
I don’t mind it. It isn’t something that I would choose to do, but the world is full of different people and tastes. Maybe they don’t like the frilly sound of common girl’s names. Maybe they aren’t obsessed with name message boards like me. It doesn’t make a name any less masculine if a girl uses it. Does it? Sometimes I hear nameberries talk about names going to the girls and that is something that annoys me. It is like a girl using it somehow makes a name unacceptable for boys. And sometimes I wonder if that isn’t part of the problem. Parents or future parents of little boys don’t like that a girl shares or could share their son’s name.
Still, I think there are plenty of strong feminine names and I don’t think I’ll need to borrow from the boys if and when I do name my child. And if some parent wants to name their little boy [name]Vikki[/name], I’m not going to complain that my name has gone to the boys.
I need to revisit because I am confused and need clarification.
My name (as I post over and over) is [name]Lesley[/name]. In [name]England[/name], where my name originated, this is a FEMALE name. The male name, which Americans have taken over for the girls, is [name]Leslie[/name].
- Ley names - as I have read and was actually told to me by a Scottish person - are PLACE names. Meaning, someone from that place could use that name. People in Eastern Europe had the same notion but based on their language rules, changed a girls last name to end in an “a” and the boy’s last name -from the same family - to end in an “i”. The girl I knew had the last name Romanska and the boy Romanski. In English, from what I have learned, [name]Lesley[/name]/[name]Leslie[/name] seems to be the only version.
All the other “ley” place names ([name]Lesley[/name] = from the grey fort, [name]Hadley[/name] = from the heather meadow) do not belong to any gender but to a family. Why are these then considered “boys” names?
Names like:
[name]Ainsley[/name]
[name]Ashley[/name]
[name]Brinley[/name]
[name]Hadley[/name]
[name]Lesley[/name]
Lindley
[name]Riley[/name]
[name]Just[/name] curious. Because, since that has been my name all my life, I have obviously never seen or heard another boy [name]Lesley[/name]. And thus -ley names are feminine to me.
[name]Pam[/name] and [name]Linda[/name]? Any history?
Oh Nameberries, I knew you would give me some insightful replies to my post. A few of you mentioned about parents making the excuse that by giving a daughter a traditional boys name would somehow make her stronger or unique. I think that’s kind of sad to say the least. I thought we had come a long way as far as equality is concerned but obviously there is so much work to do!
So far we have strength of a boys name, uniqueness of a boys name and the popularity factor! Well, I’m still not getting it…
@rmaryl - [name]Mason[/name] and [name]Landon[/name] for girls - I’m shaking my head right now! Sigh! [name]Just[/name] too masculine for my taste!
@rachelmarie - [name]China[/name]-[name]Cat[/name] Sunrise and [name]Moon[/name] Beam Sunflower! Well, I guess there will always be parents who have a total lapse of judgement or throw all common sense out the window when naming their children. Would they want these names themselves??? Children are human beings who deserve respect and the respect begins before the birth when people should take the time to really think about choosing the best name for their child. It’s a serious endeavor as far as I’m concerned that needs long and careful consideration. [name]China[/name] [name]Cat[/name] and [name]Moon[/name] Beam are names for animals not human beings in my opinion. The poor children may need therapy!
@pickles - I know of two Lesleys - one was a British male actor who played [name]Ashley[/name] in the film “Gone with the Wind”, [name]Leslie[/name] [name]Howard[/name]. Another was a female childhood friend who spelled her name [name]Lesley[/name]. [name]Leslie[/name] is a well-known Scottish clan surname taken from Lesslyn, a place-name in Aberdeenshire. The name was not used as a personal name until the late 19th century.
@deroet - I don’t mind using family names in the middle spot either. Middle names are a great way to be wild and creative - or honour a family member!
@purpleprose78 - I’m one of those people who talk about boys names going to the girls. I say that for one reason: when a name that was traditionally chosen for a boy in the past suddenly appears out of nowhere and is given to girls at an increasing rate, most parents will not even consider the name anymore for their sons (eg. [name]Addison[/name] - No# 820 for boys but No# 12 for girls in the US). It seems people are much more conservative and careful when naming males but anything goes when naming females! There is a gender bias at play here. Sad but true!
Thanks to all of you who took the time to respond! Keep those thoughts coming!
I have been following this thread with interest, but initially held back from posting, because as a guy who was given a girls name I was wondering if I could get some insights into the motivation of naming in that direction too and out of respect for the OP I didn’t want to hijack the thread with another question. [name]Reading[/name] the answers so far though I am not sure if the same motivations hold though. The strength of the name argument wouldn’t (although I don’t like the corollary of that argument either) although maybe uniqueness would, although I am not sure if that is a strong driver.
@rmaryl - [name]Mischa[/name] picked up on [name]Mason[/name] and [name]Landon[/name] for your cousin’s girls, but I am even more surprised by [name]Kailee[/name] and [name]Autumn[/name] on her boys (not so much [name]Mackenzie[/name]). [name]Do[/name] you have any idea of her reasons for choosing any of these names? That would be interesting.
By the way, I came across this discussion on a French name message board which I found interesting in this context. This particular thread (in French) is discussing guys who have girls names so while I suspect still rare, maybe not as rare as some think and is clearly not restricted to one culture or region.
Ok, last point from me but more on message: what about people who give their daughters very girly/frilly/feminine names and then a “boy” nickname. And choose the name solely for the nickname potential? i.e [name]Charlotte[/name] = [name]Charlie[/name], [name]Theodora[/name] = [name]Teddy[/name], [name]Samantha[/name] = [name]Sam[/name] / [name]Sammy[/name].
Does this fall under the same vein of “what were they thinking”?
My girl name is [name]Tully[/name], which a lot of people are weirded out by because it’s different. I don’t think its sooooooo different, but apparently almost everyone I know disagrees with me. When you look it up, it comes up as a boy name or unisex. I heard it years ago, it was a woman’s name. (it was her middle name but she went by it as her first) I have never thought of it as boy-ish or unisex even.
What do you think?
[name]Tully[/name] [name]Carolyne[/name] sounds pretty femme to me!
No, definitely not. A teacher isn’t going to look on the roster and think [name]Charlotte[/name] or [name]Theodora[/name] or [name]Samantha[/name] are boys. Same with pretty much every other situation where gender has to be determined before meeting the person. With [name]Charlotte[/name] nicknamed [name]Charlie[/name], [name]Charlotte[/name] has the option of going by whichever name she feels suits her best, which is not the case with girls named [name]Parker[/name] or [name]James[/name] or whatever.
I have a [name]Rylee[/name] and I didn’t do it to steal a boy name and use it for a girl. [name]Riley[/name] is a surname in my family and a woman who is very special to us spelled her name [name]Kaylee[/name] so we went with the [name]Rylee[/name] spelling to honor both people that were very important to us. I didnt spell it that way to be trendeigh like some of the posters on this board like to point out. I did it because it was the way we wanted to spell it to honor the people we loved. So I HATE when people say they are either tired of the [name]Rylee[/name]'s or they think I stole the name from the boys–that was not what I set out to do. It was what we wanted to name her and the only name we agreed on and it suits her perfectly.
For me personally, I was always a tomboy and definately not a girly girl, so I lean more towards boyish names for girls because of that I think. Not even especially boyish names, but not the super soft girly ones. Like, I like the sound of names that are all gentle sounds like [name]Emily[/name] or [name]Lily[/name], but I don’t connect with them. They’re just a nice sound.
I think I try to judge each on a case by case basis. I think it’s unfortunate if you give your daughter a traditionally male name ([name]Fred[/name], for example) and then she turns out to be really ‘butch,’ for lack of a better word. Whereas if she turned out to be really delicate and pretty, it’d be cute in a sort of interesting, contrasting way. The kid has to be able to wear the name, and you can’t always guarantee that. I think the best is to go with a name that can offer a boyish nickname but doesn’t have to have it. For example, if you love the name [name]Fred[/name], you could use [name]WInifred[/name] and if [name]Fred[/name] doesn’t fit or feels too weird later on it can always be switched to [name]Winn[/name]/[name]Winnie[/name]. I think there needs to be wiggle room if you’re going to go with a too extreme choice.
I actually think the vast majority of Nameberry regulars would heartily agree with you!
From what I’ve noticed, using boy names on girls is not usually encouraged/supported on the message boards here, and I think that’s a good thing because it offers an (imho more stylish, informed) alternative to the trends of society in general. I think there’s something to the theory that this is these parents’ best effort at being original and different; but it’s sad because for the most part they’re still choosing a trendy name, just from the other gender…
@momto2 Yes, it would be nice if others could somehow know all of our reasons for choosing a name when they hear/see the name. Sadly, this is not usually the case. I’m sorry that you’ve gotten negative reactions to your daughter’s name, but glad that it suits your daughter and you love it!