This is a phenomenon I’ve seen quite a lot on nameberry and on my own threads and gosh does it bother me.
What I mean is users who (constantly) don’t answer the question of the poster but think it’s wise to post anyway.
Example:
Q: Which do you think flows better. [name_f]Dahlia[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] or [name_f]Dahlia[/name_f] [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f].
A: I actually really like the flow of [name_f]Rose[/name_f] [name_f]Dahlia[/name_f].
NO, WAIT, this is NOT what I asked. You did not, in any way, help me. At all.
I think answers like: “I prefer [name_f]Dahlia[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] to [name_f]Dahlia[/name_f] [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] but also really like the flow of [name_f]Rose[/name_f] [name_f]Dahlia[/name_f].” are totally fine as you did answer the question and made a suggestion on top. That’s wonderful and you helped someone.
I just get really tired of that. Anyone else, too?
I think some irrelevant replies are to be expected on any forum. At the end of the day, most people are here for their own personal enjoyment. They might just want to express their opinion about the names they like rather than help the OP in their specific naming dilemma.
But there are (long time) users who do this all the time. And when I see that 5 people in a row don’t answer the OP’s question, I actually find that to be a bit rude.
I think you just can’t expect everyone on the Internet to be as attentive and polite as in real life. As @lumen has mentioned, some people come here for fun and can be distracted sometimes. I guess it’s useless to get mad about it every time, so maybe you just better ask your question one more time in bold if nobody seems to mind it? I am actually more concerned about rudeness. It makes me sad to see some names being repeatedly called awful, trashy or stripperish, especially when OP asks posters to be honest BUT polite.
There was a thread where someone asked about two combos and which sounded better. One poster answered and then mixed the combos to come up with a new one, many of the next posters didn’t answer the OP’s question and just said “I like poster 3’s suggestion”. I dislike this kind of behavior, just answer the question and then add that you think Poster 3’s suggestion is good but you do not help the OP at all with your post, otherwise.
I’ve been thinking this too lately! Like I saw a thread today that asked for a middle name suggestion that didn’t start with a vowel, and the poster under me half of her suggestions started with vowels. Like did you even read the question?
It aggravates me because when I do reply to threads, I try really hard to give good suggestions or opinions that are what the person asked. Yet half of the posts don’t even answer the question. uhg.
I don’t like when someone asks about a different spelling and this happens:
WDYT of [name_u]Finlee[/name_u]?
I love [name_u]Finley[/name_u]!
I call it ‘human autocorrect’, and it annoys me to no end. Unless stated ("[name_f]Do[/name_f] you prefer [name_f]Madisyn[/name_f] or [name_u]Madison[/name_u]?"), they didn’t ask about the person’s opinion on the original; they wanted to know everyone’s thoughts on the spelling change.
It’s not “human autocorrect”. It’s still answering the question - they’re stating they like the name, however, they prefer [name_u]Finley[/name_u]. It’s no different than saying “WDYT of [name_f]Amelia[/name_f]?” “I like it, but I prefer [name_f]Emilia[/name_f].”.
I’d like to add - this isn’t a massive catastrophe, even if it does frustrate you. If the poster’s comment is “It’s ugly”, then I can see how it’s a bit annoying, however, if it’s an indirect response, then I don’t see how it’s a problem. For example, if I post about the name Bluebell, I could get answers like this:
1: “It’s too cute, and unusable, sorry”
2: “You’re naming a baby, not a cow”
3: “I prefer the Bluebelle spelling”
The only one I’d have an issue with is #2, because it doesn’t really tell me anything, other than the fact that the poster is not a fan because a lot of cute, spunky names are/were used for farm animals (Daisy, Bluebell, Clarabelle, Clover, Annabel, Bessie, Elsie, etc).
Um , I feel like we complain about pretty much everything on nameberry lately (Including myself in this) . We need to relax . Its just a naming forum . If we don’t like the answer there’s always the option of ignore it . As long as people aren’t disrespectful , I don’t see anything wrong on stated that they prefer a different spelling or combo .
I agree with @bellerose; I feel that people are complaining about everything these days. I understand that it can be frustrating when you’re looking for specific responses, but people might misunderstand the question or just make an honest mistake. Most people try to help in whatever way they can.
I definitely agree with @daphodil. And I don’t think anyone do it deliberately just to annoy. I have tried the same (and what do I know, I’m most likely guilty of doing it myself), but that’s just how a forum works, I don’t think it’s something to get worked up about.
I’m part of another forum that has extremely active modding, and strict rules on off-topic replies. That’s an informative question and answer forum, so the rules make sense (although for sure they are annoying at times). [name_m]Trust[/name_m] me, this is not what you want for an entertainment forum like this. If Nameberry took this approach I guarantee you’d be horribly frustrated within a day or so.
If the question clearly said ‘no names beginning with vowels’ and someone answered with a load of names beginning with vowels, well, clearly they lack reading comprehension skills and are just looking for an excuse to rattle off their list of favourite names. No big deal, just ignore them.
The options are: have strict rules and active modding enforcing those rules (which is not appropriate for the tenor of this forum), or just accept that some people aren’t going to ‘behave’ the way you think they should. Worse things happen at sea.
I don’t want any rules (well not for this anyway). I mostly opened this thread so that if any berries stumble across it, they might think of it the next time they reply to a thread.
What bothers me most, I think, is when the OP asked “Which to you prefer [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Madeline[/name_f] or [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f]” and 5 people in a row answer “I actually prefer [name_f]Madeline[/name_f] [name_f]Clara[/name_f]”. Without any further comment on the OPs question.
Or “Which spelling do you prefer? [name_m]Bennet[/name_m] or [name_m]Bennett[/name_m]” and the answers provided are NOT “[name_m]Bennett[/name_m] of the two but my favourite is [name_m]Benet[/name_m]” but “Actually [name_m]Benet[/name_m] is my favourite”.
They answered, just not in a way you wanted. They don’t like [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Madeline[/name_f] or [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f], they like [name_f]Madeline[/name_f] [name_f]Clara[/name_f], and from that you can infer that they prefer [name_f]Madeline[/name_f], since that’s the spelling they used. Likewise with [name_m]Bennet[/name_m]/t… neither, they only like [name_m]Benet[/name_m]. PP (I think it was lumen?) said that everyone is here for their own enjoyment, and it’s important to remember that. It’s wonderful when you get some feedback you can actually use, I agree, but just accept that at least half the answers you get won’t be all that helpful and you’ll enjoy the forums. As long as nobody is breaking a forum rule, people can post as they wish. I used to get really bent out of shape when I’d spend twenty minutes coming up with a list for someone, and they’d either never respond, they’d respond with “anyone else?” or they’d just start a new thread asking the same question. Then one day I realized it didn’t matter. I enjoyed coming up with the list, and I didn’t care what they did with it because I had fun, and that’s why I’m here. If everyone has managed to evade your question by answering in a way you don’t find helpful, you can either re-word your OP, close it and start-over being more specific (if it has to be [name_f]Clara[/name_f] M. and switching the order isn’t negotiable, say so), or you can take another look at how they’re answering and ask yourself if they might have a point to make, even if it’s one you weren’t interested in. Sometimes when nobody likes the name, spelling or combo we like it makes us re-think it, and we realize people have a point. Other times, it just makes us love the name, spelling or combo even more.
Here’s something else that bothers me - when a thread has like 2,000 views and 10 replies. If you didn’t plan on answering the question why would you click on it?
I am actually more concerned about rudeness. It makes me sad to see some names being repeatedly called awful, trashy or stripperish, especially when OP asks posters to be honest BUT polite.