About seven years ago, my [name]SIL[/name] casually divulged to me that if she had a daughter, she would name her [name]Matilda[/name]. It has family significance on her side. I’m not even sure why I remember her telling me that–she and my brother both said they were not having kids and I wasn’t drawn to the name in any way. Flash forward to now. They have changed their minds and have been quietly trying very hard to get pregnant for the last two+ years. They haven’t been successful and have had several losses and failed IVF attempts. It’s a terribly sore subject naturally and I am not allowed to even talk to her about it, per my brother.
Well, I am pregnant and due in [name]September[/name]. My favorite name on a very short list is [name]Hilda[/name] and I’m having an internal dilemma whether it’s right to use because of it rhyming with [name]Matilda[/name]. On one hand, I am not close with my brother and [name]SIL[/name] and they live in a different state. They may not have a girl. They may not even WANT to use/agree on that name. She may not even remember telling me about her name-so no hard feelings. On the other hand, she [name]MAY[/name] remember telling me her name and think I quasi-stole it from her and resent me for it. It could be a painful reminder of what they don’t yet have. And finally, I come from a family of individualists who would likely not want to use a similar name if that was their perception. (FWIW, I doubt either of us would use nicknames.) Those latter reasons would keep me up at night if I knew it bothered them.
I try to imagine if the situation was reversed but my feelings are so clouded now, I don’t know. My husband doesn’t see a problem, but most men wouldn’t, I think. Again, I can’t talk to my [name]SIL[/name] and brother about this, and we are trying to keep our names a surprise from our families so I can’t seek advice from my sister or parents.
Please, I need lots of opinions!!! WWYD???